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Hello everyone! So a few weeks ago I came out to my wife as bi. She took it great it turned her on. Now we are looking to do a bi 3way. We looked on Grindr and all the guys are just creepy. My question is where is the best place to find a partner for us? Thank you in advance.
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HI guys, Ok we have been trying to find the right single male for a threesome and are having terrible luck. We make contact... they respond say they are interested... we respond back... then nothing! Let me preface this by saying that when we make initial contact there is a pic sent with the email of both myself and my hubby full shot of face and body. We also state that he is extremely straight and we also say exactly why we liked the profile and what we are interested in. So if they don't like how we look or what we want they simply can decline. What we are wondering is why contact us back say interested and then when we say lets chat (basically that's all the next email states and we give our IM address and ask for his) NOTHING. Do they get cold feet? We normally also pick people who have certs too (not that that means too much I know) just makes us feel better that maybe they are actually swingers. Any advice on what we may be doing wrong or why they don't make further contact? Just trying to get into the single guy's mind here, lol Thanks guys -
Okay so I feel like this is probably pretty common amongst new swingers but I need to discuss it with someone cause I feel kinda bad. So me and my wife started swinging and have only had 2 experiences so far, both at the swing club near us. Both times me and my wife went she (a social butterfly) found someone within a couple hours and completed one of her fantasies both times. The first time I wasn't present with her I was just outside the room in the main play room. I did this to let her try it without any pressure or influence from me. The second time we dvp/dped her and had a lot of fun. Like 30 people stood around watching her wanting to get involved So my problem starts a few days ago when we got into a mild argument and she said "well it's kinda fucked. You have got to see me fuck another man. I've done it twice, but you have yet to do anything with another woman." So personally I'm an extremely shy and introverted person. She always thought I was the catch cause when we met in highschool all the girls were falling over me and I only had eyes for her. Well she walks into the club and literally everyone is looking at her. I don't have "game" shit Idk how to even flirt. It's not because I feel bad or like I'm cheating, I could honestly give a fuck less about that sorta stuff. I just don't have the confidence to go to a woman I find attractive and shoot my shot. I grew up extremely abused and so rejection to me is something that crushes me. When you learn to never ask for anything being denied when you finally do just ends your confidence. So really my question, is this normal for one partner to be the clear catch and able to go find partners where the other partner can't find anyone due to confidence? I dont want to make her mad because I don't ever do it but I also don't want to force myself to go fuck someone I don't even find attractive or something just to make her happy. I am totally content in our swinging choice and everything else. This is really just one of those things I hadn't anticipated. I hate it cause I know I'm attractive. I just have 0 confidence to test it out.- 6 replies
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I'm new to this and am not really into bar scenes, so I'm not sure a club is my style. I'd like to know if there is a way to discreetly identify myself as being open to the lifestyle, and to identify others that are as well. I'm also a little submissive and know there is BDSM jewelry that indicates such, but haven't found anything for LS jewelry. HELP! -
Many years ago I dated a girl who got me into swinging. We broke up when I moved to a different state for my career. I really miss the lifestyle. As a single guy, how do I find couples who are looking for someone like me? Note... I am straight. I just like sex with a couple. I like to watch and I like being watched.
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I'm single female interested in swinging. I'm struggling to find relationships with single men into swinging. I'm not big on just casual fwbs. I'm 21 so I feel like my whole age group is not as open to swinging.
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Hello, I'm new to this forum but I have some questions about swinging currently and how I can help myself enjoy my time. I came out as Bi years ago before Covid-19. I had a few empty experiences solo but I find myself wanting more. I eventually met my partner (31F) and been happy. We decided to open up to swinging just as Covid was just starting. But currently we have not had sex outside of the relationship and I have been striking out on Grindr. From more experience swingers I ask, should we just pause all together? Keep trying Grindr for my needs? How likely would I find a male playmate under normal circumstances?
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My wife and I have been discussion swinging for a couple years but never took the plunge. A combination of nerves and lack of time just prevented us from making the leap. However, I've been plunged into a triad-ish situation, and I'm having a little bit of trouble with it. My wife and I have lived with my best friend for probably 7 of the 9 years we've been married. We've recently stepped up the swinging talk again, and we didn't hide it from him. He's currently out of work and at home all day and my wife is home with our kids, one goes to kindergarten and the other takes long naps. Over the last couple months he became very flirtatious with my wife when I wasn't around. It went to the extent of laying out his penis for her to examine. This is when she let me know. One night, when he was leaving town for the week, she told me about the situation and essentially asked my permission to take it further. I was hit with a mix of emotions. On one hand, it was excitement, on the other hand, fear. I gave my blessing because it sounded like fun. However, over the next couple days, my wheels kept spinning, and I've been battling jealousy and insecurity since. We've had several talks where I went back and forth. I've been trying to find a place where I'm comfortable and she's happy. A comprise I offered was that I have to be around. Neither like that option because for him it was "weird" and for her it seemed controlling. On the last discussion, after he came back to town, I relented and gave her the green light again. It came down to the fact that she was angry that I was going back on my blessing, and the genie was out of the bottle. My mind was going to run wild either way. Therefore, we figured we march ahead and hopefully I'll get used to it. We're hoping it's just nerves. She's promised to keep me informed. Since then, only a handjob has occurred. Saying "stop it" really is the worst option in my opinion. Talking about it gets us both hot, and I'd really hate to betray her in going back on my word. I think it'd be a step back rather than forward. Besides, it'd still leave me with trust issues. I'm fairly certain they'd listen if I asked it to stop, but I really dislike that option. I'm not sure it'd solve my insecurities. The problem with going forward is, what if I don't get better? I'm having trouble concentrating at work due to always thinking about this. I have lingering insecurities. Whenever she's hanging around him I start getting depressed that she seems more excited to be around him than me. It turns to anger when I realize the only reason this has happened is that *I* have to go to work and watch kids while he gets to be around responsibility free. I'm really having a hard time with this and looking for some help/advice. I know there are many no-no's here (swinging with someone you live with/open marriages seem to have a low success rate/taking one for the team), but I'm not sure what to do about them. I broached the idea of a MFM, but he wasn't too keen on that. Besides, I think this is ultimately an insecurity and trust issue on my side. I just don't know what to do about it. As much as we talk, I fear her growing weary of me whining about my insecurities. I'd just be transferring my stress to her. I'm really sort of stuck. I think the primary problem is that the source of jealousy lives with us, so I have no solace. I really did this to myself. help?
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I am sure this sounds funny, so let me explain. We are fairly new the swing thing, with our first exposure in 2002. It was then I noticed that swinging appears to be all about the women. The bi-girl thing seems to be what connects most couples initially, then if the guys are lucky, they can join in. Well, that seems to work just fine, unless your lady is not bi at all. My lady has no interest in other women, and does not like to flirt with other women. She has been flirted with, and each time she went along with it, to please me, we hit it off with the other couple, soft swing only, and only twice. However, she has decided the girl-girl thing is not her bag. So, on a recent trip to a swingers resort, we were kind of left sitting on the sidelines, while the obvious girl-girl initiated hookups ran wild around us. It seems girls can sense that my wife is not interested and basically avoided us. My attempts to make friends with the other guys, were always cut short by the girls cutting in and taking over the moment. So, back to the question, can a non bi sexual female based couple get into the swing of things, or is it a lost cause.
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My husband and I have been talking about finding a woman to join us but we don't know where it how to find this person. Any advice would be very appreciated.
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Hi, we are a couple in our mid forties and we have recently started swinging. Most of the other swingers that we have found have all been in our age group. That is absolutely fine, since we are very attracted to people our age and older. However, we were thinking that it would be great to also find some younger people to add a little more energy to the night! The question is, are there younger people - couples and women in their late 20's to early 30's - who are swingers? I assume there are, but how do we find them? So far craigslist, AFF and SexyAds are where we find people, and those people have all been older. Heck, even the porn we surf is all "Milf" sites since they just seem more real. The sites that feature younger people all seem to be pros, or fake. Last weekend we even hired an escort to have an experience with a younger woman. Any advice? Will we find them at sex clubs? We haven't been to one yet, but we're thinking of trying out a club this summer. Thank you!!
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Asked by a couple to bring in an additional single male?
xxoticangel posted a topic in Swinging Solo
We always read the posting of "eternallysingle" and "curiousagain" for their thoughts on being single in the swinging world. As we are mainly MFM swingers their input has been a great help. Now I have a question specifically for the single men that visit here. Couples, if you have had similar expierences or have something to contribute please do so also. Scenario: You are a single male that is expierenced in the lifestyle and have played with (more than once) and are comfortable with a couple. He contacts you and explains that the wife has a fantasy of playing with more than two men at once. He asks if you know someone that would be interested in joining the current MFM "relationship" you now share. Question: How would you respond to this request? Would you be offended or honored to be trusted enough to pick a potential playmate? Can you think of a better way to word the request without it sounding so much like he's looking to buy cattle? I haven't done this yet because everyway I have tried to pharase the request it came out sounding like I was a desperate husband trying to find a hooker in a strange town on a Saturday night. -
The wife and I were discussing all of our swinging meet and greet dinners that never panned out. Many of them went really well and proceeded to planning stages for a date, but then aborted close to go-time. This could be just our perspective, but to us there seems to be a lot of people that fall into one of the following categories: -- They are in it to try to find a female for the wife. They have failed finding a unicorn, and so they have moved to the couples category and think they can just 'figure it out' and tolerate the spouse. Some of them even imply that they center around the girl play and get dodgy about what the guys are going to do while all of this is going down. -- The husband is clearly into it, and the wife acts into it but she doesn't interact as much. This inevitably ends in a last minute permanent flake where they disappear from the universe all of a sudden. -- Chatters. They meet for dinner and get excited. They chat enthusiastically for sometimes weeks trying to line schedules up. Time comes around for the play date and they bail. It's actually a welcome relief when couples figure out that our interests don't align very quickly and stop talking. That saves EVERYONE a lot of wasted time. I have a lot of regular good ol' American vanilla hobbies in my wife and I really don't want to waste weeks of energy for something that isn't going to go anywhere. -
My wife and I are planning a week-end in Miami and Key West. Does anyone know restaurants and bars, in both places, where the atmosphere is hot and my wife can be flirted? And if there are nice swingers clubs in each towns? Thanks a lot -
I did not want to hijack the other recent thread that is similar to this... so I started a new one here. also... I recently made a reply to a "Getting Started" type thread, that is along this topic as well. (As a reference.) This type of question comes up a lot on this BBS (scattered all over the place), so I am attempting to get some comparisons and feedback in one place. If you feel so inclined... Please feel free to comment, share your experience, etc., on the following: (One or more... Or any combination you want.) What is your preference? "Date" Webs vs Swingers Club vs Meet & Greet vs House Party vs Resort vs Cruise Why? What has your experience (progression) been like? Started with one. "Graduated" or changed to another because...? ... etc. I've tried finding out details online, but I must be missing something. So... Maybe someone here can clarify a few things for me... For Hedonism II ... a.k.a. "Hedo" "All Inclusive" ... "Lifestyle-friendly" It sounds like sex out in the open, day or night, is acceptable here. Maybe not so much in the dining areas and such... but from what I've gleaned, this is way more than just a simple "CO" resort. (With folks hooking-up in private rooms, or designated play areas on the resort grounds.) Any comments or experience here? For Desire "All Inclusive" It sounds like this is more of just a "Clothing Optional" (CO) facility, and sex out in the open (on the beach, in the hot-tub, etc.) is not looked upon favorably. One LS podcaster I heard called Desire “My happy place”... but it is not real clear (from their web) if Desire (one or both) is “Lifestyle Friendly”. The Desire Cruises seem to be LS Friendly. Also.. There are apparently two Club / Resorts for Desire: Desire Riviera Maya Resort Desire Riviera Maya Pearl Resort What is the difference here, if any? and / or... Here in the "Lower 48"... It seems the only real "Lifestyle Resort" (that rivals places like Hedo & Desire) is: Sea Mountain Lifestyle Resort Sounds like a “Day Visit” facility that is "Lifestyle Friendly", with a few (15) luxury rooms... similar to Hedo & Desire in atmosphere. Any comments or experience here? Any other similar resorts (in the Lower 48)? I am aware of some other "Lifestyle Resorts" that seem more like glorified clubs. Freedom Acres - Devore CA ... just North of San Bernardino, CA / LA Area I am also aware of a few others... but they seem to be just "CO" (Naturist) type facilities. Paradise Lakes Resort … Lutz, FL - North of Tampa http://www.paradiselakes.com/ “Paradise Lakes Resort is a private, clothing optional resort, located in the heart of the nudist capital of the United States - Pasco County, Florida.” (More Naturist than Lifestyle... or so it seems.) Caliente Resorts … Land O Lakes, FL - North of Tampa https://calienteresorts.com/ “Adults Only” https://calienteresorts.com/faq/ (More Naturist than Lifestyle.) “Overt sexual behavior or the appearance of such behavior is unacceptable at Caliente Resorts. Behavior 'never needing an apology' is the norm.” Paradise Valley Resort & Club - Dawsonville, GA http://www.paradisevalleyclub.com/ (More Naturist than Lifestyle.) “Behavior requiring an apology is not tolerated.” (The term "Paradise" seems to come up a lot.) (Maybe it is just a name, in terms of cleanliness, atmosphere, etc.) I know that is a lot... but any light shed on just one of these would be helpful. Many of these sites do not have FAQ pages, for quick & easy answers. I am also aware of the (limited?) crossover between Naturist & Swinger communities. A simple "Copy & Paste" for a link reference would be greatly appreciated (for anything not mentioned here). Most all of this I have heard mentioned on this BBS at some point (in the past few years). Regardless of what the responses here are... I find it pretty amazing that there are so many LS type opportunities available. -
My husband, and I are new to this. We aren’t really sure how to go about doing this. I’m a bigger woman (size 17), and that kinda stops us from going to the swingers club. Any ideas, or suggestions? Does anyone meet up off this site? We live in Las Vegas.
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We were really clicking with a couple. It was going great. Taking our time. Really getting to know them. Taking the sex part slowly. We decide to have an over night away. We didn’t care if it didn’t go fully to sex...and the wife freaked out. Can’t do. Can’t be open etc..:so had a decent rest of the weekend and such and of course we respect that but I’m getting so tired of putting in time and effort. We had a wonderful poly thing for two years two years ago and we’d love to find it again and I understand you can’t force anything and such but to keep meeting people and putting in time and effort for it to end is getting defeating. -
Curious how you find swinger couples more open to poly? What sites? Pages? Etc?? Thank you!
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Hello all. I am a single male and have been in the lifestyle for a little over a year and have had a few wonderful experiences that have come through sls and rarely the local clubs. Recently I have found that the club is not really my scene, however the lifestyle is. I have personally reached out to other couples online and rarely receive a reply. Are there any alternatives you would suggest to finding like minded couples? Hopefully I can get some encouraging suggestions! -
Is there any info on meeting bisexual couples? I just started thinking about trying it myself. My wife is Bi, it seems easier and more acceptable for woman than men.
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After using SDC, SLS, "Dirty Facebook", Kik, going on dates, and going to a Lifestyle party, we threw in the towel. We have a few friends we play with. After 2 years we are still blown away how difficult it seems to be to chat, meet, click. Hope others have better results than us. The good news is we really like each other and we can say we tried it and liked it. May try again in a few years. What we learned.... 1. Seems lots are looking to fill a void. 2. Lots of males dragging the wife along. 3. Tons of people want to do pic swap but nothing more. 4. Seems the wife intimidated at least half the couples. 5. People have magical cameras when taking pics of themselves or pics are 5 years old. 6. It seems to be a sport for most, which is fine, just tell people that. 7. Lots of couples are not married. That's fine, just tell people that. All in all, we enjoyed our experiences. We will take this knowledge and use it in the future.
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We are heading to Cuba on May 4th and will be staying at a non-lifestyle resort. As we enjoy getting together with other couples or inviting another guy to join us for some threesome fun, we are wondering if anyone has had any luck in attracting or getting the attention of potential interested play partners at non-LS resorts? If so, does anyone have any suggestions/tips/tricks that could help us in seeing if there are other people in the LS like us that may be willing to explore the possibility of some adult fun during our stay? After all, we are sure that we are not the only LS people that frequent non-LS resorts from time-to-time. Thanks and all the best to all Swingersboard members. -
My wife and I have been swinging for years and recently she fell for a guy she works with. They've have been friends for a while. I've met him and like him and their flirting turned to more as soon as I told her I approved and had a fantasy of her having a boyfriend; a guy she can call, text, go on dates with and, yes, fuck when she wants to. We are both having a ball with this and now she is telling me I need a girlfriend so she doesn't worry about my boredom when they're out. I'm not against the idea but I have NO idea how to find a girlfriend when I'm a married dude and will readily admit it to any prospective woman. My wife will know everything and I think that might put off "normal" girlfriends. Does anyone have experience with this and can you offer advice? Thanks!
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The foundation of having a good swinging experience with another couple is chemistry and compatibility. Directly related to swinging, or in general, what are your top three questions you ask that you have found give the best results on determining if that compatibility is really there? For us, it's: 1. How long have you been swinging? 2. How did you get into swinging, and who's idea was it? 3. Besides swinging, what do guys like to do for fun? There's no right or wrong answers on any of those, but just by the replies, we usually have a pretty good feel for where to go from there.
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