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Showing results for tags 'self-confidence'.
Found 6 results
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Okay so I feel like this is probably pretty common amongst new swingers but I need to discuss it with someone cause I feel kinda bad. So me and my wife started swinging and have only had 2 experiences so far, both at the swing club near us. Both times me and my wife went she (a social butterfly) found someone within a couple hours and completed one of her fantasies both times. The first time I wasn't present with her I was just outside the room in the main play room. I did this to let her try it without any pressure or influence from me. The second time we dvp/dped her and had a lot of fun. Like 30 people stood around watching her wanting to get involved So my problem starts a few days ago when we got into a mild argument and she said "well it's kinda fucked. You have got to see me fuck another man. I've done it twice, but you have yet to do anything with another woman." So personally I'm an extremely shy and introverted person. She always thought I was the catch cause when we met in highschool all the girls were falling over me and I only had eyes for her. Well she walks into the club and literally everyone is looking at her. I don't have "game" shit Idk how to even flirt. It's not because I feel bad or like I'm cheating, I could honestly give a fuck less about that sorta stuff. I just don't have the confidence to go to a woman I find attractive and shoot my shot. I grew up extremely abused and so rejection to me is something that crushes me. When you learn to never ask for anything being denied when you finally do just ends your confidence. So really my question, is this normal for one partner to be the clear catch and able to go find partners where the other partner can't find anyone due to confidence? I dont want to make her mad because I don't ever do it but I also don't want to force myself to go fuck someone I don't even find attractive or something just to make her happy. I am totally content in our swinging choice and everything else. This is really just one of those things I hadn't anticipated. I hate it cause I know I'm attractive. I just have 0 confidence to test it out.- 6 replies
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- finding playmates
- expectations
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I don't like my body. I love sex and how it makes me feel, but I don't like my body. Mr makes me feel incredible, he says he loves my body and to be fair there's nothing to suggest otherwise, he compliments me all the time, not just in bed. He touches me, always got a hand on my bum when we are out and about. But I don't always believe him. He buys me sexy underwear and has a hunger in his eyes is I'm wearing it or even naked. But I put it down to me being good in bed. I've been bigger than I am now and I've also been smaller, Mrs opinion of how I look has never once changed, but to be fair neither has mine. I'm hoping that over time my self confidence will grow, there's fantasies that I want to at least be confident enough about myself to at least consider doing (does that make any sense?) In my mind I'm a sexual goddess and live to share fantasies, in my eyes I'm a woman no one would ever want, except Mr. Does anyone else feel this way? How did/do you deal with it?
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My wife is interested in going to a local club in Louisville Ky. She herself is self conscious about her body as she is a bbw. I find her wonderfully beautiful but I love larger sized women. I am very protective of her “in a good way” and very much want it to be a positive experience for both of us. I read on many of the clubs websites of how their club has the “hottest most beautiful” couples. I am 48yrs old and she almost my age. My question is, will going to a club be a positive experience or have we missed the boat and uncomfortably be an object of ridicule until we decide to up and leave. We clean up pretty well and I can rock a casual suit as well as the next guy, but I’m not a 24yr old paratrooper any more either.
- 17 replies
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- body size
- self-confidence
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I have been wanting to ask this for awhile. Guys are obsessed with their size. Too big or too small. Guys like to brag how many inches or question if they are smaller. I wonder if I worry too much about my size. I have never had a guy complain I am too big there. I don’t think a guy having sex will really ever complain lol. I look in the mirror and I see myself. Small breasts. Growing up I used to be envious of my friends developing more than me. My nose is big. My butt is flat. My hips wide. I am thin, maybe too thin. Then there was Down There. I just thought mine was ugly. Was I too big? Too long? Too loose? My clitoris too sticking out? I researched and read vaginas are about 4-5 inches inside. I found a toy my mother had that was 8 inches and after school I would play with it and it would go all the way in. Was my mother big too? I couldn’t ask her. I felt better when I read that like men I could get bigger too. I still obsessed with the visible size. Again no guy ever complained. It wasn’t until I played with other friends that I got to see up close others. I feel mine is looser on the outside and I hate what it looks like.
- 50 replies
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- appearance
- self esteem
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I'm 35 and appear relatively healthy (minus belly weight), but I am a recently diagnosed diabetic and have difficulty getting and maintaining an erection. This issue is compounded by the fact that while my penis is about 5.5" fully erect it is just 1.5-2" flaccid, leaving not much to work with to start in the first place. I've come to terms with my size and my thoroughly average body shape (not being self-critical, just honest), but I don't know how I can have confidence - let alone actually participate - when my penis is so fickle. Even during sex with my wife, I often have to masturbate myself to get hard, and I have to "use it or lose it" so to speak. And even that doesn't work sometimes. How can I expect to perform with a new partner when nerves and condoms are on top of these other issues? (Viagra, etc, aren't options due to diabetic heart issues.) I am otherwise very interested in the lifestyle, but where does someone like me fit in? I am not into cuckolding or humiliation. People see me and think because I'm a young guy I'll be virile, and instead I'm anything but. I tried a threesome with another couple for the first time last night and it was a total failure. Nerves were certainly a factor as well - I had literally met the couple just 10 minutes beforehand - but I know that nerves aren't the only issue. How does someone like me get pleasure out of the lifestyle without disappointing people constantly or having to explain my penis doesn't work well and asking for patience over, and over, and over again? Honestly, it just makes me sad because I am otherwise eager to get into swinging, if only my penis would cooperate. Any guidance would be greatly appreciated. -
Hi everyone, I have a theory for the ladies. Sooo my husband and I did our first full bi-swap. It was VERY erotic and hot. I realized something interesting though about women and bisexuality. My experience with the other wife was great! Often times I hear women say "women know women better." I have to say being with a woman as a woman did feel different but not in a physical way. I thought a lot about it and here is what I think. Girls are very mean to each other. I know why ladies but seriously I think we really hurt each others self-esteem a lot. I think this is why female bisexuality is so common. We want to be respected and feel support from other women. When I was with the other wife I felt like every cruel thing others girls had done to me was expunged. All I could do was give my body over to this woman for the appreciation it deserved. It was a rush of emotion (not the attached kind). When I was younger I was always criticized by other girls for mild acne, big feet, and my style. Although I've cut a lot of those people out of my life I feel I am still scarred by that. When the other wife and I played with each other it was just amazing to accepted by her in a sexually powerful way. I do of coarse prefer men way more but I feel this woman filled in something that had been missing. Even though this woman was an experienced bi-wife she didn't make me cum any harder than any guy I've been with. My husband of coarse takes the prize though! What do you all think?
- 8 replies
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- bi female
- female perspectives
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