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Do others have that One Special friend in the lifestyle that you play with? We decided sex with others could and would be fun, sex with no attachment to enjoy sex and new sexual adventures. Our marriage is secure and our love has never waned before or after our active summer. My husband had a limited sex life before me, a thing he hates me repeating. I was not overly sexual before just more active. We discussed before joining a site that we should experience more sexual variety. How can I be his best if he had very little to compare even if I end up not being the best. If the better is out there I want him to enjoy. Truth I also wanted sex for sex with no pretense of love or relationship. Now the summer of exploration is over that led us to a relationship with the original find. No promises of just them or just us for them, we aren’t forming a poly family we are going to enjoy the special feeling we have for them. Do others have that special relationship?

We have been dating one other couple for over 10 years and just in the last year they moved further away. We still see each other...once in a great while, but are thinking it may be time to find to find another couple or couples and form a small group. With Covid and how difficult (but totally worth the difficulty) it was to find that elusive spark for all involved, we have had a hard time getting started again.

The last week of August, Shannon texted David and me saying that she and Joe are visiting relatives in a nearby town and asking if we were going to be at home and free over the Labor Day weekend. Lunch, dinner maybe. I was taken aback and hesitant. David replied, “Sure, we’re free, that’ll be great.” After more back-and-forth David and I found that they would be arriving late on Friday and have a rental car, so they wanted to get together first thing Saturday. Meanwhile, I kept texting Shannon separately and had a few calls with her. In among all the social talk, we got talking about sex. Eventually, I adjusted my approach from what I proposed before, me fucking Joe or us having a threesome. Rather than asking Shannon if she wanted to make out with me, I instead asked if she would do me a favor and touch me again. I asked not if she would mind, but if Joe would object. She surprised me by saying with some enthusiasm that Joe would like her and me to do that. She quickly clarified that he would like to see us do that. OK, the question is how far would Shannon go with me? I was happy to get that far and left it open from there. Saturday Long story short, David and I met Shannon and Joe at their hotel Saturday morning and visited a few places in town around their hotel. We eventually went to their hotel for lunch, then they invited us back to their room to browse some things on the internet and talk about our plans for later. David surprisingly and suddenly looked at his phone and said that he had to go into the office to take care of things. Something he rarely had to do, at least never in the office on a weekend. But I didn’t question it. He apologized and asked if it was ok if he came back in a few hours to the hotel. OK. He said that he would call when he was leaving the office. Later I found out that it was a set up between him and Shannon. Long foreplay story short, Shannon ended up naked on her back, I was in just my t-shirt braless on all fours licking her pussy, sending her into orbit and Joe was playing with himself. While she was in an out-of-her-mind state, I asked Shannon if Joe could put it in me. She squeaked “Yes,” and I ordered him to get over here. Now I was feeling the dick I had anticipated for so long. He came pretty quickly, but I was just as quick. His ejaculation was fantastic for me. Shannon snapped out of her ecstasy when Joe and I simultaneously started our cris d'amour. Afterwards Shannon wasn’t shy about going down on my sloppy pussy to give me another O. I was also happy that both Joe and Shannon found me to their liking. After our two hours or so of fun, I had Shannon call David and asked him when he was coming back to the hotel. I thought I was being clever having Shannon call him. But David is more clever (cleverer?) and more thoughtful; he had managed to get the hotel to reserve us an adjoining room next to Joe and Shannon’s shortly after they made their reservation - just in case things moved in a direction where we needed it. He checked in on the way back and David and I went next door into our room to shower before going out again. It was a tense late afternoon and light dinner. Not that anything was wrong, but it was a sexually charged atmosphere. David quietly but clearly sent me the message that knew exactly what had happened, had expected it. He also left the door between the rooms ajar as a signal that there was an intimacy between us couples, and negative proof that he wasn’t doing anything with me, the potential was being saved for later. It was clear to me that Shannon was interested in David. And no one had to tell David that. As we left the hotel and began to walk down the block David took Shannon’s hand. I grabbed Joe’s hand. Shannon had previously told me at one point during our text and email exchanges that Joe, knowing only a small part of her past but knowing that it is still much greater than his, likes saying that she was a slut when they’re in foreplay and having sex. He stresses it and says it repeatedly and asks her for stories about her past. It disturbed her at first but it she says it’s all ok, it makes him closer and more loving than ever, even after the sex is over. When we got back to the hotel we went to our rooms and had sex. Pretty wild, but nothing that hasn’t been discussed here before. David and I expected that we would separate into the two rooms, but Joe insisted on us all staying in their room because it had two queen beds instead of one king. He wanted to see his wife having sex with another man, something he said that he had never seen before and expected only to ever see in his fantasies about Shannon’s past. But here David was, with all his pent-up energy, doing a good job on Shannon. David is much more in tune with what was going on in Joe’s mind and how to play it. He knew that what Joe thought wasn’t that Shannon is a slut, it’s that she was a slut and he is the one who was so good for her that she gave up whoring around for him. He prides himself on having an oversexed woman who he has tamed and married. Her past is a point of pride for him. She previously told me that she fucked a lot of different guys and did all these different things (MFM and FFM threesomes, anal, couples swaps) before and yet she is satisfied, happy with Joe. For Joe, it is part of her great personality, but he is so proud that she gave it up for him. David flattered him by saying that he wished that I could have been as sexually adventuresome as Shannon was, that I had only fucked one other guy when we met. David told Joe that Joe married the town slut, but now she is his. Joe really liked that. I suppose that this shouldn’t be so surprising, there are people here, mostly guys, who say that they don’t mind that their wife sluts around (with a boyfriend, at the club, at a party) because, especially because, she is going home with him tonight. The husband getting the final conquest, and all is well. In a moment of calm, nonsexual honesty I asked Joe if he was ok, if it disturbed him knowing and seeing Shannon having sex with David (or me). He seemed good, more than good – pleased, with Shannon’s past but only because it was in the past. He confirmed that talking about her past in the abstract was exciting, something he loved about her, but seeing the reality of her having sex with another guy was painful. “But that seems to be the price of admission,” he said. I was left wondering but didn’t push him on it. “It’s wonderful afterwards though,” he said. Shannon confessed that they weren’t in town to visit relatives. They contacted us and specifically came to visit our place in the world to see if we said we wanted to meet up. They had reserved the entire weekend for time with us, whatever it may be, and had a flight home on Monday afternoon. What led to this trip was Shannon “confronting” Joe about me and asking him if he would fuck if me if she could arrange it. (She already had the signal from me at our last meeting that she could.) What I didn’t know was that she and David were talking behind my back to set this up. Sunday The big day came and we took Joe and Shannon back to our house to meet the rest of our family: Red, Clair, Lora, and our multitude of children. The introductions were very smooth and cordial. The only awkward part for me was when Clair and Lora both said to Joe and Shannon how much I had said about them, but Joe and Shannon were untroubled by me having talked about them. Shannon said I hadn’t said anything about Clair, Lora, Red, or all these kids to her. They were curious about the provenance of the kids and we proudly pointed out the biological parentage of each (Lora said “I’m the mother of the brown ones.”). To say they were amazed with the whole situation would be an understatement. Especially with the huge house, guesthouse and all the children. We told them that none of it (the house, the number of children) is as impressive as it seems if you divide it up among us five adults. David has arranged with Becky and Frank to take our children for the day. We had also arranged for two of the regular young women we use as babysitters to accompany them to help out. It worked out great and we really appreciated it. Needless to say, we all played. The interesting thing for me was that the pairings that seemed to grab hold the most were Joe and Lora, and Shannon and Red. David, my husband, and I played together with Clair and laughed that the couple he had set up for me to have sex with had found other sexual interests. 😊 To Joe, it became not that Shannon just was a slut, but is one, fucking both David and now Red. David and Red now will call Shannon a whore in front of Joe, while the other is fucking her, or both are. Even when Joe is making love to Shannon, his wife. I was worried that this was going too far, but Joe smiled. Both Red and David know how to make him feel good about his wife, portraying her as a sophisticated, super sexually charged woman that he was lucky to get to be his wife. Tamed but not domesticated. After all this, I was afraid what the aftermath might be. But we met at dinner and everyone was happy. It was almost odd that we talked about everything except sex. But it also seemed so natural that it was no problem. One last thing to report: we had breakfast with Shannon and Joe at the hotel Monday (Labor Day) morning for breakfast before they had to go to the airport. Unlike our other get togethers outside the bedroom, this time we did talk about sex and it was mutually decided that David and Shannon would go back to the room for a quick one. Joe and I agreed that it was wonderful sitting here together, him fingering my pussy and reaching for my braless tits, knowing what our spouses were doing. The psychological aspects of what happened excite me as much as the sex, mostly because that’s what I keep thinking about. 1) My husband David went behind my back with another woman(!) to really move along the opportunity for us to play with them. Plus getting the adjoining hotel room and arranging babysitting. 2) Red and Shannon really hit it off, sexually and otherwise, something that I did not expect, they’re so different. Same with Joe and Lora. 3) The fact that Joe has such a fetish about Shannon being called a slut. And that David picked up on the subtle clues early on and had the right instincts on which direction and how far to push it. Joe gets so worked up having Red and David say so and hearing her tell stories about a past that he didn’t know that she had. He went from slut-fear to slut-pride in a very short time. Anyway, overall an amazing weekend.

I’m keep thinking part of the fun this summer was being free to new partners. This is going against my own post about having that special friend and not needing new over and over then thinking t about the excitement of doing the opposite. No decision has to be definitive.

Our thoughts from the beginning ~15 years ago were that if we found people whom we had a lot of fun having sex with, it seemed silly to move on from them just because they weren't new to us anymore. We weren't concerned about attachments forming. We've had some great long term sexual partners from this. So yeah, some special relationships developed.

Sabrina hosted many house parties for a couple of years. We hosted monthly "couples" parties, and a BBC or ABC( All about The Cock) parties every two or three months. At one of our ABC parties we had one of our regulars bring two friends who he vouched for. They got extremely aggressive with three of the wives who where there for a good time and eere regulars. One of the husbands came and got me. They got froggy with me, but i an a pretty big guy and I can be even more aggressive. I ended up grabbing one, the two husbands grabbed the other and they were shown the door. It really put the ladies at ease to know that at least at our parties, no really means NO.

My orgasms from DP are what makes it worth the effort! Nasa has nothing on those orgasms!

I never thought this is degrading or thought someone doing it is degrading me. Possibly some men do it as their way of showing power, I always looked at it as another playful act. So many years ago the first time a boyfriend did it I took it as a respectful thing. We both laughed afterwards when he apologized. I have a vivid memory of what happened, he was in my mouth and pulled out and used his own hand to finish. He said he didn’t want to cum in my mouth so I thanked him and gave him the biggest kiss with all that still on my face. I never told him that he wouldn’t be the first that didn’t pull out. I don’t feel degraded most of the time, at my age if I thought a partner was trying to degrade me I would throw him the F out. I find it funny to watch it cum out. I’ve had other things squirted on me in fun. So many things men do can be classified degrading if you allow it to get to you. I have a friend that says anal sex is degrading so for her it is and she shouldn’t allow it. Spanking during sex is exciting not degrading. When a friend asks me why I let him do something my standard answer is if I didn’t like it I wouldn’t do it. At my age I’m there for the laughs and giggles.

One thing that our experience with Joe and Shannon has brought to my mind again is my attitude and need for sex. Compared to food and eating, it’s totally different. I almost always skip breakfast, but a morning quickie and getting an O (usually by a dick, but sometimes a licking) is a regular thing for me. If I don’t do it the morning before work, it’s almost a superstitious thing for me that my attitude will be bad and things will go wrong during the day. Lunch is light and I try to stick to a salad, although with stuff on it. When I get home from work, I’m hungry but can hold my desire in check, eat slowly and deliberately, looking at each morsel and be satisfied with not a lot. I still weigh within a few pounds of what I did in high school. But at night I ask for, get, and greedily take all that I want in bed for 30 to 60 minutes before sleep. And I sleep well. Sometimes I think that the time could be put to better use, I could exercise more, read a book, and I am determined to do so. But then something happens as I feel the body of someone I love as I wake up, or as I finalize putting the kids away for the night and think about the possibilities, which man’s bed I will sleep in, which woman will join me there, my mind becomes irrational. I don’t have that trouble with food.

I don't know how bi this is to the posters, but I have been in MFM several times and had the other man put my cock in the women's pussy and suck it after I came inside her. This has happened about 6 times and usually the woman is the guy's SO.

This summer we went from 0 to wow and now we are catching our collective breath and deciding what is next. This summer I more than doubled the number of different partners I had sex with in my life. For my husband it was the summer of dreams. We started very cautiously then it feels like we threw caution to the wind. We made many new friends that we hope will remain friends and met others that will just be part of our history. I read the posts here and wonder what is real and what is fantasy putting myself into the situations and thinking would I do that or would I enjoy that or could I enjoy that. I can report some I did and enjoyed and some I didn’t enjoy and many more I didn’t try. No DVP for me. I even learned new terms, yes Spit Roast is a thing. Carpet Munch even if there weren’t carpets. Safe Sex hmmm, not so much. Now it’s time to slow down before things go sideways. We both have routine medical exams on the calendar which is now making me a bit on edge. I’m not sure if routine blood tests are enough to find something hidden. I know I should be honest with my doctor, I’m just trying to find a way to tell her about our summer. My family doctor is the same one my parents use and the only doctor I’ve used as an adult. My gynecologist knew me as a virgin and how scared I was when I went that first time after the first time. My husband could not care less about his doctors, I don’t think men are examined the same way, it’s much more routine. I also want to thank those more seasoned who took the time to read my sometimes sarcastic younger posts for the little guidance I read. We will always be Exploring and looking for Options

Yes, we had a very special couple. After we got to know them well over a few dates, it turned into a swinging and vanilla relationship - we met their family and they met ours, we traveled together, we went on dates that had little to do with sex. But neither they nor us were 'faithful' to each other, both couples felt free to include others in sexy play, with or without the other couple.

We had that one special friends we played with that were the only friends we needed. They lived far enough away that our meetings were extra special and all the excitement I needed. Everyone knows that every partner is different in how they do or move when allowed to explore. Our new sexual lover brought me to heights in a different way from my husband. Different not saying better. These friends opened up my sexuality exploring a side I never even knew I had. We still have that Special Couple, as you labeled your friends yet we have explored outside of that relationship against my original ideas. I was very happy with what we had with them with no reason to expand until we did. My suggestion is to go with what you are comfortable with. Try to dispose of any guilt feelings which was my original halt. We are not active like others who post we just play when occasions happen like the stars aligning. I found occasional new experiences are indeed exciting.

Congrats on diving into the lifestyle. It's a fun and wild adventure which changes your fundamental mindset and perspective in potentially great ways. I can understand your discomfort with wanting your doctors to have an idea of your extracurriculars--in my own case my primary doc is one of my fathers closest friends so that could potentially be awkward. To avoid it there I simply have another specialist (urologist), whose opinion I could care less about, write the script for an STD test and take it to LabCorp to fill. In the case of my wife she simply hits an Urgent Care for a full STD panel and sees an NP she has no relationship with and won't see again after. If that is still not discrete enough for you, there are plenty of online resources to get discrete STD testing.

My wife and I went to SMI in April. It was a Thursday and they were maybe five other couples there. My wife was unsure when we pulled up. BTW we had been to caliente before and another place in North Georgia and are not swingers. We have just recently opened up our communication and gotten way more sexual. We are both 50 years old and in pretty amazing shape. So it wasn't her first time getting naked but she has always been very self-conscious. They come around with some free margaritas and also have some cheap free wine. This helped loosen my wife up and before I knew it she was giving me a blowjob by the pool with other people in eyesight. We also ended up fucking indifferent locations which is completely fine there. We saw another couple fucking right by the pool as we all set in our lounge chairs around it. Everyone was very nice, both the staff and the people we interacted with. It's fairly small and intimate but it also has various little areas kind of tucked away and the rooms surround the courtyard pool area. We didn't stay there, we just did a day pass. Btw they also have some food they provide which is not anything super healthy but it's okay. It's no problem at all to bring your own food and drink and from what I remember they provide the towels. All in all it was really a great place and my very conservative wife felt comfortable doing things I'm sure she never thought she would do. We are now fans and will definitely be back. We are currently planning a trip to Vegas and are trying to decide between SMI there and whispers.

My wife is 70 and I am 71. We have been swinging for 48 years. Married 51. I worked in the oil field. I have been retired for 7 years now. I was gone a lot being on 24 hr. call. Even as long as several weeks at a time. My wife's first sexual encounter was with our neighbor. When we could afford our own home, we bought one on a dead-end street in a low middle income neighborhood. He lived across the street from us. It took four years before I found out about their affair. Hell, I loved the Idea and asked if I could watch. My wife was 22 yrs. old, and he was a 78-year-old widower. We lived there two more years before he passed. (No. She didn't F___k him to death). It was cancer. We moved into a larger house on the other side of town. We have been swinging ever since with all ages of people, race, religion, and countries. There has been quite a few of them 90-year-olds men and women. You're going to see a lot of us old farts still sexually active. Everyone is living longer. Have a good day.

For several years when business took me to Austin I played with a hotwife couple who lived there. They introduced me to Hippie Hollow, which I enjoyed with them. I later took a female vanilla friend who’d never been to a nude beach. HHgirl, I hope you live to be 100 and that you have good health that allows you to still enjoy sex. My brother-in-law, never expecting an elderly couple might still want sex or be capable of it walked in during siesta on my then 85-year-old mom and her 92-year-old boyfriend. They were in the midst of male superior missionary intercourse. My sisters and I (all of us blessed with strong and durable libidos) were pleased for our mom and took reassurance for our own futures. That said, I’m very glad it was my sister’s husband who walked in on them and not me. Because, you know, King Lear…😳🙄😱 (As I’ve noted in comments on posts elsewhere on this board, when I was in my early 60s I played at a party with a couple who were in their mid-80s and had been having sex as a couple with others since they first married in the late 1940s.)

Not long after marrying my husband, my husband was curious about nudism (He loved reading Naturist magazines) and he found out that there was a nudist club / resort not far from where we lived. So he took me over to see what it was like. I was really surprised that there were places that people just liked to socialize nude at. It wasn't on my bucket list or anything that crossed my mind that I had to do before I die but I thought, I would give it a try. Well, surprise, surprise, I was hooked pretty darn fast. I love the freedom of being clothes free. It feels wonderful to run around without any clothes on. But nudism has really changed my life. I have always had weight issues and I didn't like my body very much. But I quickly saw that it is very rare to have a perfect body we all have our flaws.....anyways it helped me learn to accept my body and helped me remember to make better healthier food choices. Nudism is like viagra for me. Seeing all the gorgeous men increases my sexual appetite. I have definitely had a higher sex drive than my husband and I still do. I am a 58 year old free spirited female who has twenty something year old guys that want to hang out with me at nudist clubs and nudist beaches.....and Hippie Hollow. Large penises are what gets my sexual energy juices going. Just seeing them, talking to them maybe interacting with the large penis. And if I find the right person with a large penis I might make them a boyfriend boy toy. I hope my infatuation with large penises that I get to see at nudist places last forever. I want to be 100 years old and still enjoying sex.

Thanks all for the advice. To answer a couple of questions. No there wasn't the option for penetration, we don't full swap, so no penetration of the other wife and my wife wasn't in position to be engaged. The other couple is actually very experienced. PeterJ, I think you hit the nail most completely on the head. I had some felling or thought that the other couple and even my wife should know that I wasn't involved in some way. I realize that isn't the way to think because people can't read minds. In the end I wasn't enormously upset, you have to understand that the way I deal with stuff is that I tend to think on it extensively for a couple of days to determine what I feel. Don't know why, that's just how I process. My wife and I spoke more about it yesterday and came to realize that it was really just a breakdown in communication. I assumed my wife should know when I've finished, but apparently, I'm not as vocal when I finish as I thought. And further, I apparently have different sounds between oral and intercourse. So, there was no way she would have known unless I flat out told her. I didn't interrupt things or try to squeeze up in there and maybe I should have tried to push in more and make my own space. That said, we determined that if we are in a scenario where we sense the other off to the side or out of the game a little, we will make eye contact, and / or the one of use that has gotten kind of left out a little will give a little light double bootie tap as a silent sign to switch back to each other. Lastly, I do think maybe there was a twinge of jealousy in there....lets be honest this is the first time in 25 years my wife has gotten another man off...and certainly the first time I've ever seen her do it. It wasn't unexpected, but hadn't happened yet and I had to process that emotion too. Let's be honest though it was hot, she gets a little look of control on her face while she's doing her thing and it's definitely awesome to watch. At any rate, we are good. I needed that extra talk and I should have been more completely honest with here initially. The problem was that I thought I was okay, it just took a couple of days. Thanks again all!

So many posts say don’t do it with a friend and there are a number that started with friends. I don’t see many negatives from the friend hook ups and I can see who is the the better choice, the friend who you already have so much in common. As long as everyone knows it’s just sex, sex is fun. I wish I realized that fun sex is great when I was younger. We look back at our lives and all the missed opportunities. Our first swing was with strangers who I owe so much to, they made it so easy. I told a friend who wanted us to be her first and because of the negativity I read on all those posts stopped us. We suggested our first couple to get them over the hump, pun intended. Now we are part of a group and we are all friends.

Ha, that's exactly where I want a man to deposit his cum. Nothing is wrong in sex if that's what you want.

In my experience, as a man approaches orgasm and ejaculation regardless of whichever orifice he's in he wants to push in as he cums and not pull out. Instinct, I guess.

I don’t know what the conversations were between Shannon and Joe on the way home, but I communicated with both of them since and know a couple of things. First, they have said that the experience with us has “really opened things up between them” (Joe) and “broken down a barrier about sex” (Shannon). Shannon said that Joe has move on from repeating the slut and whore thing that he likes to say to wanting to talk about what she did with Red and David (and Clair and Lora and me) and hear tales of her past sexual experiences that she never revealed in the past. Shan says that she has both expanded the list of men and women that she admits to having sex before she met Joe to “all,” and goes into detail about what they did and how she enjoyed it. She also tells of what she would like to have done, but didn’t. The other side of it is for us, we’ve talked about our play with them a lot and it has fired things up for us as well. The major even was the Wednesday after, I got home from work to the kids being gone, and the others in various states of undress. Clair was topless, which was incredibly exciting to me, David was wearing just a t-shirt with his dick hanging, that was funny. They came at me from different sides, not saying anything, serious, and started pulling my clothes off. Red cut off my bra. I’ve tried to think of the best word to describe it, but the word I keep coming back to is that I was raped, but totally not in a bad way, by my two husbands and my two wives. My entire life sex has always started with a suggestion, a proposal from someone for me to go along, and 99% of the time I accepted, and when I didn’t, he moved on. This time I wasn’t asked, it wasn’t with my consent, but I wasn’t forced. Like being “kidnapped”, pushed into a car and taken someplace like a great restaurant without being asked. What distinguished the sex this time was the infrequent occurrence of me having FFM intercourse with both men one after another while they were fresh, getting a full measure of their ejaculate. Red fucked me missionary while Clair sat on my face grinding into me, then David did me doggy while I licked Lora. Then the girls went down on me. I never had so many orgasms in such a short time. So it wasn't just Joe and Shannon having some crazy fucking after our experience.

We started swinging in 1996 about 27 years ago right after we met and moved in together. Sabrina was very bi and loved playing with girls and guys, especially in group settings. About 2003 she told me that she thought two or more guys playing with each other was 🔥 hott. We set up a date to meet with a bi guy (Rick) at Quiet Encounters, an on premises swing club in El Paso, TX. After an hour of conversation and drinks to calm my nerves, we went into a private room, locked the door, and we sucked and fucked each other in every combination you could think of for the next three hours. When we eere done, the whole room smelled like sex, sex and sex. We have played m/m lots of times. We just hosted a bi male party in Las Vegas with 3 couples with bi males, 6 bi male tops and 1 single female. I was spit roasted at the same time as Sabrina. Was fucked by 7 of the males and got to swallow 5 loads of cum. You just go with the flow and discover what you like and/or don't like. I am a bottom, we usually look for bi tops or verse. Sabrina loves to suck a nice cock together and then guide it into my ass or I guide it into her.

Nope, we like meeting new couples while on vacation. Nude resorts or beaches is where we like to meet couples that are interested. Having that special couple is not important since K works such a heavy schedule. Yes, I guess it is good to have someone to socialize with, but for us it adds to our vacations to be on the lookout for a potential swap.

We met many couples over the years that I felt like I had to teach new things to. I never wanted to get that close or make long term friendships or get very involved with. I learned I missed out on so much more of life by closing the door on some beautiful people. My eyes were finally opened when we decided to keep a small group to enjoy. I finally accepted one friend that I hold nothing back talking about. I’m not afraid to say I love my friend.

Part of adolescence for me it was a routine vaccination before I went to college. Thinking about it now my mom was more enlightened about life and sexuality.

EO, if you dig deeply enough through the archives here you will find posts from Fundamental Law and other medical professionals urging all who are in ENM relationships and routinely engage in sex with others to be tested regularly (some hard-playing folks won’t play with anyone who can’t show an all-negative comprehensive STD panel) and to be candid with their primary care provider. It can be awkward telling your PCP that you are in the lifestyle but they cannot provide you with an adequate level of care if they don’t know what your health risk factors are. I understand your reticence . My (non-playing but very supportive) wife and I are in our mid-70s and she is in a non-reversible decline that leaves her increasingly dependent on me for support and care. I cannot afford to take health risks that would leave her without a caregiver. Though my ENM history goes back more than four decades (and includes her as part of my very first) and I’ve been fairly active for 20 years (with time out for the height of the pandemic) it wasn’t until recently that I took to heart the good counsel of Fundamental Law and others. I got tested at my local Planned Parenthood. (If you don’t have disqualifying objections to the organization because it provides abortion services, I heartily recommend PP as an excellent source of sexual health care. Your care provider will be highly knowledgeable and no one there is judgmental at all. The NP I saw did confess that there were few mid-70s men in their patient population. 😉😂) PP takes insurance, including Medicare. If you don’t have insurance payment is on a sliding scale according to income. I signed the form requesting that PP share its information with my PCP, affiliated with a major medical school in NYC and in most important ways very good. So, I expected that when I had my next annual physical my PCP would have through inference figured out I was regularly having sex with people other than my wife (who is also her patient). That was a bad assumption on my part. She spends 90+ minutes on an annual physical and generally comes prepared — she isn’t flipping through my history and lab tests while she’s talking. She didn’t bring up anything about my sex life, which in the past was always a brief conversation (You two still having good sex? Need a new Viagra scrip?) Three or four times I said to her that we needed to talk an]bout sex, and she kept blowing past it. I finally leaned forward in my chair, addressed her by her first name and said in a stronger voice than before "WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT SEX!" That got her attention. I shared the full nature of my sexuality with her. She wasn’t judgmental but clearly she was big-time surprised. I’m 20 years older than she is and she’s pretty conservative in dress and demeanor. Also a practicing Catholic, and I think on the religiously conservative side. But she asked all the right questions about the specifics of the behaviors I engage in. I gave her accurate and specific answere. And then she asked why I had been forward in bringing up the subject. I told her it was because I wanted to know whether with this significant knowledge about me she would be comfortable being my doc. And assuming she was okay with having me as her patient, that I wanted her to be able to provide me with appropriate overall care. She said she didn’t have other patients in my situation (I said to myself, "that you know about") and she wasn’t confident she had the degree of knowledge necessary to care for my sexual health. I told her I was planning on having PP take care of that but that I wanted them to share their records with her so she’d have the full picture. EO. at this point you may be saying to yourself that if you thought you would go through anything like that with your doc you would just keep your sex life to yourself. My experience with my PCP was not nearly as awkward as it might seem when you read my stripped-down telling of the interaction. And I felt really good having gotten past my anxiety from the prospect of having the conversation. Given your particular circumstances you might best have the talk with your Ob-Gyn and ask them to not share with your PCP unless something happens that makes it medically necessary. As a side note, my observation over the years is that members of the medical/health-care community (physicians, surgeons, nurses, psychologists and clinical social workers) are vastly over represented in the lifestyle. It’s not likely your ObGyn is or was in the lifestyle, but it’s far from impossible. Just the other evening I was on a Xoom with a couple who are prospective playmates. Turns out he’s an ObGyn…😉😊

No they can be difficult. BUT Having been there on both sides of our families, my Mom and Connie's Dad, I can attest that sharing those times with each other were some of the most amazing bonding experiences of our marriage. The leeway and support we each gave to the other in turn, lived out the reality of our oneness. The two of you can come through this with a renewed sense of having each others backs that should make dealing with the original questions you posted easier to deal with.

We'll endorse that parental health issues are disruptive, and not uncommonly the eldest or nearest daughter bears the load. The following comments are meant to add perspective based on our own experiences (all parents now deceased) , not suggest courses. 1. Serious health issues such as the aforementioned stroke are inevitable. It's always a matter of 'when'. Preparation does matter. For anyone with aging parents, the value of plans, knowing where paperwork is, and having a couple of legal documents available cannot be overstated. Generally, the documents include at a minimum advance directives, a durable power of attorney for healthcare decisions, and a general power of attorney to manage affairs when the parent is no longer capable. 2. It's very valuable to have conversations with parents when they are well to disambiguate positions and have clear decisions when they decline. While the event itself is usually a surprise/shock, the response should be pre-planned. 3. Acknowledge all of the stresses--time, money, and confrontation of fragility/mortality. Expect libido to evaporate until the crisis is past. We'll add and even emphasize the importance of using these events to reconnect and reaffirm the importance of happiness and joy in life. The stresses will eventually resolve. How anyone emerges from that stress depends on how they feel they were successful and how they felt supported. Finally, sex is a celebration of life. Its time will return. Don't try to use it as a way to accelerate reflection and recovery from crisis, but be ready when both partners are ready.

To add: As opposed to full swap which is great but often more rushed, goal orientated if you will, on a timeline and often a one off but can develop much of the same above, but more often is over a two to three hour meet/party/club experience in one setting with only a few hours window of opportunity and under an hour, many times 30 minutes, to enjoy. All is good….my point is the slower…..erotic….sensual exploration of soft swap.

We have enjoyed so many situations, pairings, curiosities, group, themes, fetishes, desires often discovering new curiosities, interests and desires. The best has always been with soft swap, prolonged experimentation…discovery….build up, peaking and release to rest, talk and begin again. The times it was spent in casual contact, watching, being watched….inclusion. And many times that it grows and expands, new experiences new acceptances…….accepting. many of our longest intimate friends started slow, hesitantly, exploring, holding back, inquiring, accepting and then relishing in all the we experienced. The act of soft swap is much more sensual, a slow touch, never a rush……a slower simmer. And much more often repeatable….over the same time period, an afternoon, evening, weekend. And when a connection is made…..many times in the future opening for a better longer term relationship that offers social, intimate, friendship a special closer relationship of couples.

Something I learned very quickly in the lifestyle is that the women are always going to be the ones who are going to get a lot of attention and things are not always going to be equal when it comes to play time! This is something I was and am 100 percent okay with. Her pleasure and fulfillment is something that makes me happy as well and only makes our sex life together even better. As they say happy wife happy life. There were plenty of times in the past where only she was playing with the other wife or I did not cum while playing with another woman and not one of them bothered me. I enjoyed every experience with her. I think if as a man you are entering into this lifestyle with your wife feeling it is going to be an equal playing field you are setting yourself up for some disappointment along the way.

Yeah, either way. I'm not into bi play with other men, but regardless of which passage I'm in, front or back, the most exciting thing for me is feeling the other guy's dick moving in her. The first time I did DP that was unexpected - feeling his dick through the walls of both her vagina and rectum. Doesn't matter whether it's my wife or another guy's. The only thing that gets to me with DP is watching my wife with two other guys in her; it's like WTF. I had seen Daniela fuck and do anal with other guys a number of times before, and we had already done DPs with other guys, but the first time I saw her with two other men, it was overload. (But I was in another woman, so...) You're right, the guys are taking directions in a DP situation.

I'm not sure why, but this thread brings back feelings in me and I must digress. Reading these posts makes me glad that I/we are not traditional swingers. I would feel left out and awkward even as a woman because early on I became suspicious of men who took an interest without knowing me because I looked and still look much younger than I am. When I was 17, 18 I looked as if I were 13 - very thin, no tits. Guys would hit on me who either thought I was that young and willing to risk it or knew my age and had a fetish for flat chested, young looking girls. (I wondered sometimes if these guys saw my ugly cunt with my big clit and lips, wild bush, they would feel the same.) For all my outward confidence and assertiveness, I need to be in a comfortable situation to enjoy sex. My poly family and occasional dalliance have given me this.

In a committed relationship, a change-up is required at least occasionally. This is needed without regard to age. Libido can go either up or down with age and there are at least a dozen factors that could influence this change. From my experience, as a man, the guiding principle is "use it or loose it". My interest in sex goes down right after finishing the sex act. But within an hour, interest is back up again. But if I go a long time (days) not having sex, it's takes more thought and effort to get back into the groove. After menopause, my wife became a virtual sex machine. And she needed little help from me for this. I understand that the hormone shift does exactly the opposite for some women.

In my experience, some men and women really enjoy the visual of a guy shooting out his cum. Visual confirmation of the moment of orgasm. Some guys can really shoot a large quantity and/or shoot it far. It can be impressive. Not me, however.

One woman in our group likes to be "slapped" on her face with an erect dick. It doesn't do any damage and I don't think she's does it to be degraded, more of a defiant challenge to a guy. I've done it to her, more like for her, several times, but I didn't enjoy it. It sort of hurt. Maybe that's the point she's making.

For me the physical, psychological, and emotional satisfaction is the feel of an internal ejaculation. Vagina first; mouth (I swallow) or bum second. It turns me on to lick up cum, but I prefer getting the semen that leaks from another woman’s pussy. I also go after a spent dick for both his and her excess juices. For me, it's my reclaiming ritual. I also like to snowball, although most men don't, other women are happy to.

Guys will ask if they can cum on my face. I do say yes knowing when I’ve got them deep in my throat they never pull out in time.

After years of meeting others alone, I had affairs, she is on an affairs site, we have played together a number of times. We now are on a site together trying to find a match, someone who interests her and a wife that I’m attracted to. There so many possibilities except when she finds a man that attracts her, I am not that attracted to the woman. It goes the other way too, we are having difficulty finding the perfect find. I find I usually defer to her choices, just going through the motions of enjoying. I thought we found a good match, physically attractive to both of us and then we met as the attraction faded. Do others find perfect matches, four people truly interested in the others? Or do you just suck it up for the sake of sex for a night.

My experience was somewhat similar along that progression. Moved in as roommate. Then became playmates. Then in a poly relationship.

That's the way I feel, very very few men are the least bit attractive to me. We are lucky women want to be with us.

We met on a cruise and swapped before the cruise was over. No plans, never thought of it before, it just happened.

That way the panties can be removed without taking off the garters...how else would you do that?

For the guys, it was never cuckoldry, just two men who loved me and enjoyed sex with me so much that they were monogamous. I tried really hard to keep them both satisfied. (Hubby sometimes liked to watch me with Red, Red didn't like to watch me with someone else.) I was the one who enjoyed being a female cuckold, wanting to reclaim my husband after he had sex with another woman. But as much as I wanted sex with him, reclaiming was eating his cum out of her and giving her as good an orgasm as he did.

Although I prefer women I’m sexually attracted to guys as well. I don’t consider myself truly bi as I’ve read that to be so one has to be capable of having feelings for or falling in love with both sexes equally. I can only do this with women. With guys it’s all and only about the sex. I consider myself very open minded and sexually adventurous.

Actually, semen is all of protein and some sugar. Both high energy stuff. Since it dries quickly it is the best facial for the skin, Makes the skin radiant and glows with freshness when the dried semen is peeled off and the face is washed with mild soap. There is no point wasting it in a condom. So I let them come anywhere they like except my hair. Most favorite place for men to eject their semen has been between the boobs as they also like to fuck between the boobs rather than masturbate, and some of it may jet up to the face or chin. I love it, when the shoot the stuff on my skin. Most men like in this order - first fuck the mouth, then the pussy and ass if permitted and finish up on the boobs. They can give the boob a miss, if allowed bareback to come inside wherever they are.

We in our group are almost exclusively a "cum inside her" bunch - pussy, mouth, ass. Pulling out has never been my thing.

Note that I'm a male and my perspective is probably completely different. When Mrs. EastInWest and I met, we were friends first, then started meeting for coffee/drinks frequently. We got close, learned more about each other's personal lives, and eventually things got romantic and emotional. However, we didn't know if it could ever be serious, so we didn't stress exclusivity, we just thought one of us would move on eventually. It's a long story, but after we'd been carrying on like this for over a year, we had our one "experiment" where she ended up topless in the back of the car giving head while I gave the guy and his friend a lift to their hotel. It wasn't planned, but she'd had a few drinks and I'm a bad influence. It wasn't hard to see. It was, however, insanely intense. I don't think there could possibly be a drug that would do the same thing. At first we both struggled to give them a little privacy, but that didn't work. I was frustrated at how few stop lights I was getting until I finally just pulled over to join his friend in enjoying the show. He was working her with his hand and she was moaning heavily, constantly on the edge of climaxing, made prolonged eye contact with me a few times (wondering if I was OK, she said later) and I could have cum right there in the driver's seat looking at the way she was looking at me. The feelings were mixed and confusing but none of them were bad. I did have a brief impulse to stop the action when I realized he was going to cum, but I didn't actually want to. It was just a passing, instinctive thought, competing with the urge to masturbate (which I also didn't actually want to do, knowing I'd waste the arousal). I was as hard as I could ever remember being and what I wanted was to see her finish her good work and get her home to the hotel to take her roughly and unload inside her. When he finished, there was a lot of cum. I watched and listened while she gulped twice, but she didn't get it all. I saw her lift her head up, breasts in his lap, and a lot of it ran over her lips and down his shaft. She was on her own high, too, and just stared at the wet cock in her hand, breathing hard. It was completely obscene and very enjoyable to me. She told me later she was just in shock that she had even done it and didn't know what to do or say. A bunch of other stuff happened, but I don't want to turn this into a short story. The point is, none of this ever felt negative for either of us. I took her back to our room, she was in a daze, we went at it in the shower then finished in bed, she came very hard repeatedly, then we passed out, slept through our alarms. We ate breakfast like that hadn't happened, then finally we're drinking coffee and she says, kind of nervously, "I really had fun last night." We talked about it for a while, got her over her worries about what I might be thinking, and she expressed some shock that she didn't feel guilty or grossed out about what she did at all. We didn't talk about that again for years, until we started talking about the idea of actively getting into swinging a couple years ago. I think what made it so harmless (where it could have been an emotional disaster) is that we were on exactly the same page: I was already relatively adventurous, she wanted to be more adventurous, I was supportive of that and wasn't interested in holding her back at all from enjoying everything. She knew it and I OKed (and instigated) things as they went along, we communicated that we were OK and it was good to go ahead, so there was never much room for me to feel like my boundaries weren't being respected and get offended. I don't know if that helps. When I start describing that story it's hard not to be excessively detailed because it was a crazily vivid experience.