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I agree with Angelkin. I think it's best to give a general, sex-positive, accepting message rather than outing yourself. When you see a news story or something like that, ask, "What are your feelings about that?" If your son says, "gross! or evil!" Then you can give your opinion. If he says it's cool, you can agree. My kids are young (6 and 9). Last year my son told me kids at school were using the word "gay" in a derogatory manner. I told both kids what gay and lesbian meant (when two people of the same sex (two men or two women) love each other and want to have sex with each other) and told them it was not ok to make fun of people because of who they love, and it was not ok to call people gay as an insult. I also talked to the teacher at parent teacher conference about it. She was pretty shocked that I told my kids what gay meant. I didn't have to let them know I was bi, I just had to let them know that I was accepting and standing up for people who are gay. I will do the same in front of family members who say bigoted things. My kids will know how I feel about issues of sexuality without knowing my personal life.

My contribution

Hi Gang, We've been in the Lifestyle for going on 5 1/2 years now, and we've played with couples, single females, and single males. We've enjoyed all aspects of these fun times. Lately, I've been feeling more and more excitement and arousal in seeing my wife being fucked by another man. It's been getting more and more interesting, and I have more and more feelings of compersion (and less "hey, I'm left out"). It's totally hot to watch her take another man, revel in the sexual feelings and lose herself in the pleasure he's giving her. Making sounds she has NEVER made with me, and fucking him for HER pleasure, not mine (although it's SOOO hot to watch). I'm not sure what has cause this rather interesting change of arousal and interest patterns, but I wondered if any of you have gone through this as well. No cuckolding here, but just when there's a guy she wants to fuck, I TOTALLY enjoy setting it up for her and watching (and participating) her be completely satisfied. The change from even Steven to loving when she gets it has been totally non-volitional and I wonder if any of you others, male or female, have gone through the same?

Main stream swinging is an oxymoron. Swinging is not main stream. Within swinging there are diverse interests. Bisexuality by both genders, BDSM, hot wifing, vixen/stag, dom/sub. Many of these sub interests are currently of no interest to me, but if I am open minded enough to participate in the lifestyle, I owe it to participants in these subgroups to be tolerant and supportive of their interests and not denigrate them.

We were with our neighbor. There was a ton of sexual tension between my wife and him. We ended up drinking and flirting. He and I began rubbing her tits nd making out. She undressed for us and and started sucking our cocks. She sucked his cock while I fucked her from behind - his dick was perfect and a lot bigger than mine. I could tell she was totally into him so I invited him to switch with me. I got on my back nd had her straddle my face - i figured it would drive her wild to have be eating her while he pounded her with his big cock. She came very fast and I shot a load in her mouth. when she was ready he put his cock in her again. While he was fucking i just instinctively rubbed his shaft with my tongue. As he pulled out of her i took the head of his cock in my mouth. He went back and forth between my mouth and her pussy until he finally went balls deep in her and ejaculated. I sucked his balls and could feel his thick cock pulsing as he put his load in her. It was a first for all of us. My wife was so turned on by the whole experience. We laid around afterwards and she continued to kiss us and play with our cocks. I held his cock as she sucked him off - he came again. My wife masturbated watching him sucking my cock. We sat back nd jerked off together until we both shot another load. She continues to totally get off seeing me with another guy.

This really speaks to me, so sorry about this long post! My husband brought up the idea and we decided together to try it. I love it and love the social aspect of swinging. I run a group that is quite active and there is always something going on. He enjoys the sex between us and with friends and how our relationship has grown. But, really he would be just as happy to be much less active, to not be the couple in charge. He knows how much I enjoy it and is very supportive. But, he would probably identify somewhat with the "I've created a monster". He says about many of my hobbies, "You don't do anything halfway" In the past I was very involved with a hobby he started me on. He has known me forever and knows my ways so I know he is not surprised about my intensity. We work well together in that way. I do try to keep a balance so as not to overwhelm him. About a year ago I felt like I should step back a little from swinging. I vowed to find some new vanilla activities to devote part of my energy to, that would not involve his time like swinging does. That has gone quite well, but now it's, "Not another aquarium/terrarium build?!" "another forum?!" I also joined Facebook, so I don't spend as much time here. That was a calculated move to be more vanilla. For me being the "monster" is a struggle. I have to really remind myself to be empathetic, to remind myself we're in this together and if he's not happy, I'm not happy. Fortunately as time goes on we get better and better together communicating and taking care of each other. I think creating a monster can happen with anything, becoming parents, a hobby, a job, swinging. It's how both people in the relationship deal with it. It's such a tightrope. Asking for what you need in a kind way, compromising, finding alternatives, being compassionate about what the other person loves. A long time ago we had a rough patch. I confided that I felt being non-monogamous was something that would always be a part of me. That I would never want to go back to strict monogamy. I also said I was confident we would be able to find a way to make our relationship work for both of us, no matter what. My husband did not like that at all. It scared him that there was no going back. I wasn't going to lie though, that is how I felt. At that time we were swinging more frequently than we do now. We talked a lot. Really though it was just I felt intense passion for the lifestyle while he liked it alright, thought it was fun and sexy. I agreed to take a break for a month (that was a long time then, now we only play every few months). That break helped and showed I did have restraint and he was the most important. We moved on from there and things have gone well for the last 4 years or so. Now we're are part of a community of swingers, we spend a lot of time socializing with swing friends and the idea that non-monogamy is part of who we are is much less threatening.

I've never had doubts of my sexuality. During an evening of swinging it was hard to avoid encountering semen somewhere. I just never worried about it. When I kissed my wife, I was more interested in expressing how much I loved her, not that she'd just swallowed another fellow's load. There is nothing I wouldn't give to be able to kiss her just one more time.

My husband often refers to himself as being orally bi, he has no interest in fucking a man or being fucked by a man, but in the heat of the moment he is okay with sucking dick with me or letting a man suck his dick with me. For me its hot, Its an instant puddle in my panties. I could seriously watch him suck dick all day. And I like when I get a bisexual guy. I am bi and my husband enjoying sex is fun for me too.

OMG OH MY GOD Last night was probably the most fun I've ever had. We met a guy on SLS, we had drinks with him and one of his friends about a week ago and he was nice, young (like by 20 years!) and we all got along well. I even went to one of his softball games... We got together last night with no expectations of anything happening. We watched some sports at a brewery bar (all of them it seemed, I just drank and listening to three men argue about football and baseball) and then we went dancing. I danced my face off! I danced with Mr Hitch, both guys and various men and women on the dance floor. Best workout I've ever had (paying for it now, knee hurts) and it was so much fun! Friend said 'lets go to my place' so we walked there. He lives downtown, enjoying being 30 and single and getting laid most every night. Other friend and I were talking on the balcony and he asked if he could take Mr Hitch into the bedroom. I said he would have to ask him and I watched as he took him by the hand and disappeared. I followed to find him with both guys, still dressed, all hands and shirts coming off. I put myself into the middle and kissed him. Then it was suddenly all hand and lips and tongues and two people helped me get naked. And then it was 4 people on the bed. I watched my husband find his bi side and I was kinda distracted but not for long...for the first time in 22 years, I had sex with another man, two actually. wow.....no issues for him at all, he said he loved hearing me climax over and over, watching me on top of another guy and doing thing himself that he'd only dreamed of. Apparently he gives a good blow job. And watching that was the hottest thing I've ever seen. There was a time for each of us that the other three concentrated on one. On the way down in the elevator, Mr Hitch said 'let's do that again.' Yes, let's so totally do that again....

So we have been soft swap for several months now, and have had several FMF threesomes, but hubby was always scared about the thought of sharing me with another man. I told him I understood and would stay at his pace, but I did want it to eventually get there. He would love to talk about me and another man while having sex, but when it came down to doing it he always pulled back. I was starting to think he would never be ok with it. We discussed his reservations, and strangely, his biggest concern was for the first time, he didn't want it to be a friend or someone we would ever see again. He was scared he would feel jealous afterwards. So I came up with the fantasy of being at our club with door open, and him blindfolding me and me not knowing when he invited someone in to join us... We went out of town for the weekend and visited a club a few hrs away with the idea of finding mr stranger to join. We had a great time meeting new people, and hubby was asking my my thoughts on people all night. I thought we were finally gonna go for it, but the night ended and hubby still didn't commit to anything. I was a bit disapointed since we went thru a lot to get there to not actually do anything, but I tried not to let it show. I guess hubby noticed anyway.... I went out for a smoke before we left and hubby stayed inside. We left and went back to our hotel room. I take my makeup off and go lay down while he says he forgot his phone in the car. I read while I wait for him to get back. I hear the door open and he walks in and pulls a blindfold from his pocket. He demands I strip in that naughty voice of his and I hurry to comply. He places the blindfold over my eyes and says don't move. Its then that I hear movement thats not coming from him. There is someone else in the room with us! He positions me with my legs handing off bed with me on my tummy and tells me to open so I can suck his cock. I start sucking and I feel hands on my butt. Even though I knew someone else was in the room it still made me jump. I start to pull away and he tells me he didn't say I could stop sucking and pulls me back down. I feel a mouth on my ass, then my pussy. I'm being licked while sucking him, holy fuck we are actually doing this! A few minutes later I feel his cock. He starts to press in, has a little trouble sliding around because I am so wet, so hubby reaches back and holds my ass/ pussy apart. Hubby has his hands in my hair guiding me, and other guys hands on our my ass fucking me doggy style. Imagine my surprise when another set of hands finds my breast. This whole time not a single word has been spoken expect for my hubbys commands. I'm placed on my back, and i'm still sucking and being fucked and now my tits are being sucked. I can tell from touch its a women, even though I can't see and she doesn't speak... She end up licking my clit while her hubby fucks me. Then her head is buried in my pussy while he fucks her, I can feel her head pressing harder every time they rock forward. She's moaning and i'm moaning and I can't see I can only feel and it feels fucking great. We ended up fucking side my side on the bed, him fucking her and hubby fucking me. They finish, Her hubby goes to bathroom I guess to get a towel to clean her up, and she spends a few min more licking me while I am being fucked. Then I hear the rustle of clothing. Hubby says he will be right back. I feel a light kiss on my cheek and a whispered ''thank you'' I am still blindfolded but I giver her a hug and says ''No, thank you''. Then the door closes. Hubby rips the blindfold off and proceeds to eat my pussy and fuck my brains my out. Finally a hr later (where is this strange new stamina coming from?) I finally admit i'm sore and beg for his Cum. I worry that he will be upset or regrets, but he is smiling and says it was hot. He told me he really want to do this for me. I asked him which couple it was from the club and he wouldn't tell me, he just smiled and say's he explained that this was for me and we weren't looking for a full swap type thing tonight, that he wanted to blindfold me and do a MFM, and they agreed to follow us to hotel. I had no idea any of this occoured, it must have been while I was smoking. I trust hubby completely and know he wouldn't have invited anyone I didn't express interest in, and even though the night didn't go exactly as planned, it was hot as hell. Hubby finally shared me! The next day we talked a little bit about it on the way home. And while hubby still likes to talk about the sex part, he still wouldn't share anything else about the ''Who''. I don't care enough to press him on it. I am excited we made it this far in our adventures, I never thought hubby would really ever share me, much less like that, and much less enjoy it. So to the mystery women who so selflessly shared her hubby with me last weekend, thank you again. You guys are awesome to have been a part of this, and to never have spoken a word the whole time and somehow make my hubby comfortable enough to go thru with it. I hope all your fantasy's come true too!

If the other guy has a small or average cock I can take two in my pussy. If he has a big penis, i’ll let him have my pussy to himself and my husband with take my ass. either way i love it.

Where the hell is the facepalm smiley when you need it? So our new neighbours just moved in not long ago. Mr. intuition and I were fretting about whether or not they'd be busybody assholes or the type who think a used toilet makes for a clever lawn ornament if you use it as a planter. We saw the moving-in party, but as we live down a long laneway with only a few houses on the whole road, we couldn't tell much from the drive-by except that they were definitely upright bipedal types who apparently could move furniture and had the kind of friends to help them do it. Mr. intuition and I let them get settled in and didn't disturb them, meaning to go over and introduce ourselves. We needn't have bothered; I was up at the store or something and when I came back Mr. intuition let me know that the neighbours came over to say hello...bearing a platter of muffins. It turns out we've got Barbie and Ken Flanders living next door. They can't even be in their 30's yet, they go to church twice on Sunday and bible study every Wednesday, and they're sweet and wholesome as apple pie. They bought a house with lots of bedrooms because they plan to fill them up with kids. And apparently she wants to get a goat. At hearing their religious disposition, I must admit I was a bit pouty about that, not that we think that fucking the neighbours is ever a good idea. But I did ask, nonetheless what they looked like. Far be it from us to not at least throw some what-ifs around for fun, eh? "Oh, they're uh...they're cute." says Mr. intuition. "You should take them over some of that strawberry shortcake dessert or something. Introduce yourself and say hello." He was being all coy. So I made a dessert and took it over the next evening. Well I'm glad I at least brushed my hair and put on some lipstick. Young Ned/Ken Flanders opens the door and holy shit. Folks, my social graces aren't all that, but I don't remember the last time I was at a loss for words. So I'm standing there literally like: "...Uh...hi...I'm...Mrs. intuition." Had to think for a minute there. What was my name again?? LOL As I said, HOLY fucking shit. Do you have some doves in there? Are fucking doves going to come flying out from behind you or something? My very young, very nice and innocent-seeming, very religious neighbour looks like he stepped out of a Calvin Klein ad. Well...I mean, I have no idea what he looks like in his underwear, but I'm pretty sure he'd do okay. I came back to the house and shot Mr. intuition a dirty look. "Yeah, you're a funny guy." I said, "Thanks for the heads-up, y'dick. I stood there stammering like an idiot." Mr. intuition was amused at my awkwardness. I have since met Maude/Barbie Flanders and can verify that they are definitely a matched set. She is freaking adorable. A petite pretty little blonde, and so nice. Mr. intuition and I have made a lot of dirty jokes at their expense, often arising from her choosing muffins as a greeting gift. A lot of muff(in)-eating jokes. The funniest part is that neither of us got to eat any. Mr. intuition put them on the island, went in to take a shower, and came out to find our 19 year old son eating the last one. We have also mowed their lawn for them as their new mower hadn't arrived yet, so that was another subject area that was rife with dirty humour material. Mr. intuition gets back from next door and says, "Trimmed Maude's backyard." "Did you trim it good?" "Yup. It's bare right up to the back door. Trimmed her bush, while I was at it." "Of course, that makes sense. Might as well while you're at it, right? You got all the equipment out after all..." I am almost afraid for them. Do they know what kind of godless heathens they've moved next to?? LOL At least we're harmless. More or less. We're supposed to go out to dinner with them sometime soon. I think I'm actually afraid to. We're most comfortable with Black Diamond conversation, and these guys are on the Bunny Slopes. It situations like this that make me even more certain there is a God. And he has a sick sense of humour.

I personally take offense to the notion that any guy who likes a bare pussy is some sort of deviant. In fact, I'll just cut to the chase and say it's bullshit. Is a guy who prefers the shaved head look trying to look like a newborn baby? No, for whatever reason, he just likes to shave the hair on his head because he prefers the way it looks or feels. Does seeing a guy with a bald head make you think of a baby? People shave their armpits, legs, faces, etc. and no one thinks a thing about it, it's just body hair. Pubic hair is no different, it's just hair, no special significance other than for some, removing it is their preference for appearance, feel, cleanliness, or whatever.

I was just wondering how the women here who've done gangbangs felt after their first one. My first big gangbang was with another woman and we had 12 guys show up. It was pretty intense for both of us because we may have overestimated the number of guys we could take. It was really difficult for both of us because we each played with all 12 guys and we both did anal. There were times during that night when we thought we couldn't take any more. Afterwards I had a mix of emotions. I was exhausted but after about an hour I felt a sense of calmness and peace. It might sound strange but I was really proud of myself. What really surprised me was that before the night was over I was feeling horny again and played with some of the couples who had come to watch our gangbang.

The start of an anal session.. We love the butt

I often write about our first swap with a couple and my night alone with him. The next day I had a very uncomfortable bi experience, something I never wanted to do. I never had any sexual attraction to women and certainly had never planned to explore. As it was our first swing I just went along not wanting to ruin my experience from the night before. Over the years since that first time I have had contact with bi sex in very small doses. Normally it was done as part of another playtime thing. I became less afraid of being with a woman, still not giving totally to being bi. Our friend who we met on vacation years ago, our first and primary play partner was coming to NYC on business and said she was going to have free time and wanted to meet in the city for a Girl’s Day. She was on business and finished early and the weather was perfect. I agreed to meeting, we had become very good friends and I never spent time with her without our husbands. She booked a Mani/Pedi and massages for both of us. Her treat. Lunch outdoors in great restaurant, walking and talking. I always wondered if we were their first, I told her they were too relaxed that first time, she swore we were, they had agreed before the cruise that they would approach a couple. I told her how often I think about that night and how romantic her husband was. She told me they have played with others and she always thinks about her first also. A beautiful day, we had drinks at a rooftop bar and talked and talked. She mentioned that her hotel was great and invited me to stay the night. She read my body language as not being onboard, and said we would be alone, no putting on a show for the men. Give it a try, I could always leave. After big hesitant minutes, I gave into lust. My friend is a beautiful person, as romantic as her husband. With my inhibitions taken away, we made love for hours. Made love to a woman for our own benefit not for men watching us. I still don’t think I am bisexual, it was a magical day.

Nothing unusual for us, but it could be classified as cuckold: our daughter and I ran a few errands and did chores at home while mom was at another couple's house engaged in a threesome.

It finally happened! My wife and I have been to a few swinger clubs, but she only allowed people to watch never touch, this went on for a few years. We were talking and I was explaining the way we should look at is that adding another guy is like me using her toys on her, use it, have fun then put it away. I asked her how about an erotic massage in a nice hotel by me and another guy? To my surprise and excitement, she said she thinks she could do that! My wife is a 42 yr old Colombian with large man-made C cups, thin waist and a med/lg ass. She only had 4 lovers in her past and all of them just did vanilla sex. Boy did I expand her world when we got married LOL! She is absolutely beautiful with a heart of gold, so I wanted to make sure this was amazing but most of all safe. I came up with limits so she would feel comfortable and safe. First, she would be on the massage table, when he came in and she would be blindfolded as she gets embarrassed easily. Second, the guy would not talk unless asked something by me or her. Third, no rough stuff, just gentle massage. I would allow oral and fingering on her by him but oral on him only if she initiated it. Fourth, I told her at the end after we make her cum, I would ask her Green light, Yellow light or Red light? Green would be to continue with sex from both of us, yellow is sex with me only but he can watch and touch, and Red was thank you but he leaves as I want only my husband now. Lastly, I would meet with the guy before the massage and if I felt the slightest hesitation, I would call it off. She liked the rules. I then started looking when “S” PM’d me. He said he was flying into San Antonio on business and was willing to help. We PM’d back and forth while giving me advice as he said he had helped others get introduced into the LS. He answered every question I had so we made plans to meet when he landed and give the massage to my wife later that evening (only time we both had before he returned home). When I met him a few hours prior to the massage he was so polite that my anxiety level went to zero. We again went over the wife’s limits I came up with and he had no problem with any of them. My wife was blindfolded and on the massage table with a towel over her ass when he arrived. He immediately went to the restroom and undressed and washed his hands. When he came out, massage music was playing, and I had those battery powered candles lighting the room. To make her comfortable with another man’s hands on her we started with her neck and back. After about 10 minutes we moved the towel covering her ass and we began to massage her lower half. We moved slow going from her ass back up to her back then down her legs. I bent her knee moving her lower leg inward at an angle and her pussy became exposed to him for the first time. The light from the candles made her already wet pussy glisten. As we rubbed her inner thighs we would graze her pussy lips…..she was SOOO wet. When we flipped her we began working on her breasts. I was getting so turned on watching another man touch my woman. “S” moved nice and slow over her nipples then down her arm as I did the same. Her nipples were becoming hard as we lightly massaged each breast. We went lower toward her landing strip pubic hair but being careful not to go too far in order to drive her wild. When we moved to her legs, we started with her feet then moved up. We bent both of her legs inward at an angle so the bottom of her feet were touching each other…..this opened her pussy wide. We again worked her inner thighs but this time moving our hands right over her pussy lips……this drove me wild seeing him touch her. I then went down on her and she was drenched in her juices, NOT just wet….drenched, and it tasted so good. At that point I looked up at “s” and offered my wife’s pussy to him. He began to eat her out and I saw her mouth open and could tell she was in pure ecstasy. He wrapped his lips around her clit and sunk his fingers deep inside her…..she let out an amazing moan. I got out the clit vibrator and started to tease her clit while “S” bent two of his fingers to massage her g-spot. I handed the vibrator to “S” while I started to massage her breasts and nipples. “S” kept up the fingering mixed with licking until she had the most intense orgasm, I have ever seen her have! She about rolled off the table it was so intense! She motioned for him to stop but continued to twitch for over a minute. After we let her calm down, I moved her to the edge of the table spreading her legs apart and started to fuck her. She was so soaking wet I slid right in. I looked over and she had “S” cock in her hand slowly playing with it…..I had to think of baseball in order not to cum right there LOL!! “S” then moved to the head of the table to hold her head as it was falling off the table…..what a gentleman! She grabbed his arms and had another orgasm while I came deep in her soaking pussy. “S” smiled at me and quietly left as my wife and I held each other. It was perfect. She told me she LOVED the experience and wants to do it again ?. We went home and fucked two more times. The next day “S” texted me to check on my wife to make sure she was doing good. I can’t tell you enough how much I appreciate “S” in helping us take the next step……thanks man!!……D&J

We respectfully disagree with this statement. SARS-CoV-2, the virus that causes Covid-19, is a novel pathogen that is demonstrably highly transmissible and demonstrably has serious consequences in vulnerable populations. Unlike influenza for which there is a vaccine and antiviral therapy, there are currently no known effective medical countermeasures against this novel coronavirus. Until further information becomes available from scientists and public health authorities, we think prudence is indicated. Indeed, earlier today a senior USG expert (Dr. Anthony Fauci) made strong and clear recommendations for older Americans, especially those with chronic health conditions, about avoidance of long flights, cruise ships and so on.

Last friday night, my girlfriend Paula and I had sex with another couple! WOOHOO! Now, that might not be a big deal to most of you guys, but it is to me. I was in a very openly sexy triad with two women for 20 years, until one wife left us five years ago and my other wife passed away 18 months later. Since November of 2015, I have been a relationship with a lovely, sexy lady who was vanilla but very swing-curious. I decided early on that I was not going to push her into anything. The preceeding four years had been hell on me, and I was not about to screw up a wonderful, lustful relationship by asking for more. Paula liked to talk about other partners a lot, perhaps even a bit fascinated by the idea. We invented group sex fantasies together while having sex, which she found a big turn-on, but I was suspicious that it would remain just talk. Then, last week, Paula got a call from an old friend of hers. He he had been, at various times in her life, both a lover and a platonic friend, but he'd since moved away and married. Paula had previously identified him as someone she might be interested in swinging with. He called to say that he and his wife would be in town for a couple of days, and could we all meet for dinner? We agreed and met at an Italian resturant across town, near their hotel. I was meeting them for the frist time, so Paula took the driver's seat. She brought up my triad past and steered the conversation to things sexual, even reminding her friend about some of their sexual encounters. His wife responded with humor and curiousity, not offense. The wine kept flowing, and the other couple became more open about sharing their own sexual liberality, recounting some tales of same-room sex and some exhibitionistic encounters. By the time it was time to leave the resturant, Paula said we probably were not in a proper state to drive home, and should get a room at the hotel (even though I really don't drink and had only had one glass of wine!). "That is," she went on to say, "if you think separate rooms would be best." The guy immediately looked at his wife eagerly, and she agreed. Following them to the hotel, Paula couldn't shut up. She was so excited, she took off her hose and panties in the car. Once we got to the room, the guy's wife immediately started taking her blouse off. From there on, there was no awkwardness, no crossed signals. We were all there to fuck one other and we all knew it. We guys first got blow jobs from our own partners, then at her friend's suggestion, the girls took turns licking each other's pussies. It was Paula's first time! We eventually took turns penetrating both ladies. (Yes, we used condoms with the other guy's girl.) We didn't end up staying overnight. About midnight, Paula and I decided to head for home. Paula thought it was about the hottest thing she's ever done and says she wants to find a way to do it again. A day or two later she asked me, "Are you really not jealous about me wanting another guy's cock?" I said it truly didn't bother me in the least. She said that was incredibly freeing, and that I might have created a sex monster. I can only hope, right?

So mods, if this doesn't truly fit the category, please feel free to move it. But we've been away from swinging for longer than many people have been married, so going back to it is like being newbies all over again. All the way to the hotel I felt my anxiety building just under my rib cage. I was tense and doubting myself. Did I wear the right outfit? Did I remember to pack everything? Did I miss any spots shaving? I should've cooled it on the carbs for the last week! Oh God, I wonder if I'll remember how to do this. Mr. intuition was pretty relaxed about it (or seemed to be), but I was freaking out ever so slightly. We got to the hotel and got checked in before meeting our friends for dinner. They had booked a room across the hall from us. As soon as they walked through the door, I felt more at ease. Shy (!), but hey I'm pretty rusty at all this flirting stuff. Our new friends were just as personable, open, friendly and easy to talk to as the last time we met. L curled up beside Mr. intuition on the couch in our room, while her hubby, K, settled in beside me on the bed as we talked, catching up on our week. We had already talked about how we tend to be a separate room couple, and they were cool with that. So K and I excused ourselves to the their room while L and Mr. intuition got comfortable in our room. I have to say once we got past the breaking-of-the-ice stage, it was game on. Oh yeah. I remember how to do this. Mr. intuition and I both had an amazing time, and I think our friends did, too. I think we had really great chemistry all around, and it was so much fun to leave our inhibitions at the door and dive into exploring one another. Afer we got ourselves tidied up, we went out for dinner - which was also great - and back again to the hotel for Round 2. One thing has become apparent: I gotta start working out. I am So. Fucking. Sore. I have sore muscles everywhere. Back, stomach, shoulders, neck, arms, thighs, glutes...etc. We drank a LOT of water. Holy hell. So, that's about it. It's late, I'm tired, and I just don't have it in me to spin you all the whole yarn, but suffice it to say that we re-entered the lifestyle in epic fashion, and loved every minute of it.

Hmmmm - devil's advocate here... Why do single men generally treat women like a piece of meat to be devoured and not a dessert intended to be savored and enjoyed? Why do single men chase women only to not call us after they get in our pants? Who do men who get sex early on or the first date determine that she's not relationship material and lacks respect for herself if she puts out right away? Why do men wine and dine us ladies and lead us to believe that a low libido or general disinterest in sex is ok - only to then get married and complain or cheat when they aren't getting enough sex? Why do men think that an orgy or fmf threesome is the hottest thing in the world? Why do single men take women out on dates, buy them gifts, and treat them nicely if he's not really willing to invest the time to get to know her...and then resent her for his own impatience? Why do men blame the lady for dragging things out - when men have the ability to find a woman who is more suited to his sexual speed and appetite? Why do single men need to conquer women - adding one more notch in their bedpost? See how easily that all can get turned around? As a woman who has been single - and married - and now happily in a relationship - I can tell you men chase us, get creepy, want to jump right into sex, hurt us emotionally, and then call us bitches or gold diggers when we want to wait to form a bond before sex. Sorry, struck a nerve with me right there. Signed - a sexually adventurous woman who puts out on the first date.

Nothing hotter than kissing my wife with the taste and scent of come in her mouth. Winter is coming...snowballs!

Our poly family life has been mundane for a while. Fulfilling and satisfying for certain, but nothing wild going on. Well, two weeks ago I took a step in an interesting direction. I was at a conference and caught up with a guy, Joe, who I had met in the past and found interesting and attractive. We ended up having dinner together, taking a lot of pleasure in one another’s company. At one point I had my hand on the table and he placed his hand on top. I turned my hand over so we could clasp. He is married, having spoken of his wife previously and knew that I was married as well, but not about my whole poly situation. There came a point where I seized the situation and told him very directly that I would sleep with him, but his wife would have to be there. Later, I corrected myself and said that although I preferred it, she didn’t have to be there but would need to know and approve to me directly. Joe didn’t reply except to ask if my husband needed to approve. I said no, that you’re the one wearing the wedding ring, not me, I only need to tell my husband. We had already been talking about sexual topics, so Joe asked if my husband allowed me to play around. I said that I don't do that, and reminded him that his wife had fucked three to four times more guys before they married than I had my entire life, so who's the slut here? (Who doesn't know exactly how many sex partners their spouse has had and talked about it?) In discussing women in general, and his wife in particular, I also told him that I had a Lesbian side. He didn't respond. As we went back to our rooms, I joined him on the elevator and had him get off on my floor and walk me to my room. I opened the door but stood there blocking any entrance. He was standing back and I pulled aside my jacket, unbuttoned my blouse several buttons and exposed my left breast. He cupped it in his hand and we kissed deeply for several minutes before I disengaged and told him that when he gets home to lovingly fuck his wife and have crazy sex while thinking of me. I said good night, and he left. When away from home, I often masturbate at night before sleeping, but this was particularly intense, fingers inside for one orgasm and then the handheld shower pulsing on my clit for the second. The day after I got back, Joe called me and politely went between how delightful a time he had at dinner and hoping he hadn’t done anything untoward. I said that I felt the same. I stressed that regardless of the way things go between us that I wanted to meet his wife, and not to worry - I wasn’t going to say anything about what we had done or might do without his prior approval. I pretty much ordered him to bring her next time we could arrange our paths to cross. He could also call or text me on my cell at home, no problem worrying about my husband. Also the day after I got home, after the kids were tucked in, I got hubby, Red, Clair, and Lora together and told what I had done. Their reaction was what I had expected, but more so. First, they were surprised that despite being so attracted that I didn’t fuck him, but also they did believe me that I hadn’t. Second, unlike our usual splitting up for the night as our moods dictate, we all went into one bedroom. It was intense with me in the middle of it all. The next morning the reality set in for us that what I had done was, as David called it “schoolgirl making out,” and there would likely be nothing more coming from it. I kept this post short, but feel free with any questions or comments.

Overcome Your Fears and Live Life Our first adventure is not over. The man sleeping next to me is not my husband, I can’t sleep from our exciting fun we are having with our hosts. A New Bisexual Swinger

Hey We finally managed to get the courage for a next step and it was awesome. We met up with a guy who was easy to be around and didn't pressure my wife into anything. After some foreplay, she ended up on her knees with her ass ready and the deal was for him to tease her pussy. If she wanted to fuck, she would back up on his dick which took like less than 20 seconds to decide. She backed right up and and I watched while my wife fucked him good. After a few minutes she got right into it and It was an amazing experience that she now wants to do again but next time, she would like a couple while I watch. Watching my wife being all naughty and taking another dick is an amazing thing to see, looking forward to the next time

I have been wanting to respond to this topic for a while, but knew it would be somewhat long and take some time. When I first became non-monogamous, I had no idea where it was going, but never thought it would lead to an MFM. I had broken up with my ex-fiancé Red and moved out of our place to live alone. But we still liked/loved and saw each other, went out and got together for sex, which was really good. I wasn't looking, but then met David, handsome and technically oriented like me, the man who would become my husband. We started going out and afterwards I did what seemed to me to be the natural thing to do and went to see Red to discuss what was happening, how I felt, and where things were headed. Red was hoping for us to reconcile, but he was very accepting of my decisions. After talking, we would have sex make love. I was honest with David about my recent breakup with Red, that I had strong feeling for him but realized that we were too different (he a creative artsy type, me an engineer; he unconcerned about money, me more ambitious with desires for a stable family life) to make a long-term go of it. David was more than a good listener and tolerant of what most guys would find off-putting conversation - he was genuinely empathetic, concerned, understanding. As I saw David more we both felt love and an incredible physical attraction, and after several dates started having sex. After the first time fucking David, I did what had become my routine and went back to see Red, told him everything including how good it was. Then we fucked. I really enjoyed it, but yeah, I felt like a cheat, a slut, a pervert (two guys! How could I be having sex with two guy? ). Not long afterwards at the beginning of one of our dates, David said (not "asked", but "said") to me, "You're still sleeping with Red." (I recall exactly that he didn't say "fucking" or "screwing," but used the gentle term "sleeping".) I thought, this is it, it's over. Instead, David said that it was ok with him, he knew that I still had feeling for Red, and it didn't affect anything between us. I was stunned, my mind had been quickly going through the pleadings and promises that I would make to David, but now it was reeling in another direction. So began me going between two men, one with whom I was getting ever closer and one I couldn't let go of. They both knew about the other and I now felt unbelievably loved, powerful, appreciated, confident. What could make them love me so much to agree to this? And it all seemed so natural, so right. After about another month, David called and said he was on his way home from the office and asked if he could stop by my place on his way home. I hesitated, and David again immediately picked up on what was going on and said, "Is Red there, I'd like to meet him." Once again, the usually quick minded Petra didn't know what to say and feigned confidence and enthusiasm, "Sure." I told Red that David was stopping by and he reacted mildly with "That'll be nice." It was like five minutes of terror for me, once again not knowing what might happened. When they met, it was a sign of what was to follow - despite all of their differences, they got along and talked about things they did have in common, which thankfully did not include me. So now, not only was I seeing two men, fucking two men, they were both openly in my life including the three of us being together. It was as if it were meant to be. The three of us almost never went on dates together, it was always either David and I or Red and I, but we seemed to be getting together more and more for practical reasons like shopping or helping to fix something. Now to the point of this thread: one Saturday morning the three of us were at my place after I had been out of town on business the whole week. I was unpacking, doing laundry and was looking pretty grungy, I thought. David asked Red didn't I look good, and asked if I was wearing a bra. I hardly ever at home because I hardly have tits. Unusual for him, David's talk got dirty, he asked me to take off my shirt, I did and he asked Red something like isn't that the most beautiful thing you have ever seen? Red said yes, and David asked me to get closer to Red. I didn't know exactly what the plan was or even if there was a plan, but we were, to use a cliché, all on the same page. David stood back as Red and I took my clothes off, I sucked his dick as he played with my tit, then his clothes came off and we went at it. Hard. After we both came, I started having having fears and doubts again about David. I mean, not only was what to David I thought only an abstract thing, he now saw me do it, not just sex, love making, deep kissing. I looked at David he invited me over and kissed me. Affectionately. He pushed me down onto the bed, on my back, and began what had become our foreplay routine of him licking my clit before we go at it. I can only take so much of that before I want him inside me, and it happened. All that messy sloshing and squishing, and a second ejaculation in my vagina right after I had one from another man. And what a lot of orgasms. I had no fear or doubt now, it is clear that David loves me as I am, which includes my love and sex with Red. I never thought I could exceed my earlier feelings of being "loved, powerful, appreciated, confident," but now I did. It would have been great to have continued the day with the three of us, but Red had an important appointment to go to so it left David and me. The rest of the day and most of Sunday was David and me. We didn't talk about the threesome, again, it all just seemed so normal and right. David left in the afternoon on Sunday, I threw the additional laundry that we had generated into the machine and went to Red's place to talk, and screw. After that first time MFM, we never planned any, they just sometimes happened (although once we moved in together we would occasionally do it as a ritual, especially vaginal/anal DP, which I love). Mostly my love life with Red and David were conducted separately, although there were plenty of sloppy seconds. It was not long after we got to this point of what seemed total openness and honesty that David asked me to marry him with the thought that he didn't want to live without me and he had never been so sure of anything in his life. My first MFM was the highlight of my sexual life (and one of the top of anything in my life) until I was confident enough to let hubby start playing and I had my first FFM and opened up to my Lesbian side...

I knew it when he screamed, “Yes Fuck ME, Fuck me in my ASS, Give me more COCK, fill me full of cum in both holes.” as he sucked one of our friends so hard he was yelping as was the guy who was fucking him bareback. My husband went along for the ride with me and bi couples we befriended over the many years, eventually giving a little here and there, until the day he did this. It still takes him a while to get to this point but he definitely gets there more often and in less time. There have also been a few times recently where I have gotten him so aroused kissing him after sucking some off that he latched on to a few of the guys without me even feeding them to him. And even though he never asks upfront for cock I know he loves it, as well as cum, and most definitely getting his ass cummed in. His orgasms are way to explosive for anyone not to love that. We have been very fortunate to have many extremely trust worthy friends who all get along smashingly.

This should be a real concern not because of news reports but because scientists say so. When the NIH and CDC doctors give reports that we should take precautions, I will listen to them over those who want to make political statements. I want to know why a congressman who made fun of the disease by wearing a gas mask to a vote on funding is now in quarantine. I will take the advice of real doctors not spin doctors. My husband travels and his company is now curtailing business travel. Italy is closed down. Israel is quarantining those entering the country. Ireland has cancelled St. Patrick’s Day celebrations. Do you think they are doing this because CNN is blowing this up? We have curtailed our playing for now. Most of my friends who play have agreed that now is not the time to take chances and my friends are not in the high risk demographic.

My husband has encouraged me to have his friend stay over when he travels for business. He asked why would I want to be alone at nights. He doesn’t stay as often as he first did even if we do enjoy our nights together. He is not my lover, he is a very good friend who I have relations with. I also have a girlfriend that stays over. My husband has a woman that he sleeps with on business trips. I am happy he isn’t alone all the time when he’s away.

One of my favorite memories is the time that my wife and I had her first full swap with another couple. Up until a certain point in that night, we had to been having a soft swap out with the other couple. Lots of wandering hands And oral between both couples. At one point my wife looked up and said "all right now, I don't care whose dick it is but somebody is going to fuck me now! " it was so hot to hear my wife be so blunt and into the experience. I promptly obliged and began to slide inside her briefly. I then watched another man have fun with my wife for the first time :-)

In 1969, I was in Europe and lucky enough to be at the Isle of Wight Music Festival. It was England's answer to Woodstock. Many of the same artists were featured. Some friends, including myself, went to the beach where we found a waterfall coming off the rocky cliff. We all showered. Air-drying afterwards, we watched a fellow who would approach a nude lady walking along the beach and ask her if she'd care to have sex in the sand. Most didn't answer, but pushed beyond him and continued on their way. One, however, stopped, looked him in the eye for a moment. Then she stepped into his arms and delivered an enormous kiss. She stepped back from the encounter and said, "No, thank you," and went on her way, leaving his penis waving at the horizon. This has nothing to do with the question, but I thought I'd share the experience.

Let me blunt... It's a hang-up, get over it. It is not true that women derive more pleasure from a bigger man. Some women do. Other women do not. Some women can reach orgasm from penetration. Others cannot. Some only can with certain partners and not others. I have watched my wife have sex with many men. Some of them where bigger than me. Some were smaller. All were different. I have watched my wife have earth-shattering orgasms with other men. No, it did not "fuck me up" ... it made me so hard I could pound nails with my dick. That's why I do this. That's the while point. You need to deal with your insecurity, and you need to not swing until you do. You need to listen to your wife and trust that she is telling you the truth, and you need to not swing until you do. In fact, I honestly wonder swinging is right for you at all. If you are this insecure about your wife having good sex with someone else, why do you want to do this at all? Believe it or not, I am actually trying to help. You need to seriously consider why you are feeling so insecure and - since this clearly bothers you so much - why do you want to swing at all.

Oh my god, this morning my hubby and I are exhausted, a little hungover, and can't keep our hands off each other. We are officially no longer swinging virgins! So last night we went to Saints and Sinners in Philly. We went with zero expectations other than a fun night of dancing, and a commitment to get out of our shells by having sex with each other in one of the playrooms with others watching (which would be a total first for us both). We figured anything else would be a bonus. After a few drinks and some dancing, we met up with a couple that we had chatted with on sls a few times. The wife and I hit it off right away, and we spent an hour or two talking mixed with some dirty dancing while the boys watched. At one point she comes right out and asks me if we want to head downstairs to one of the playrooms. I didn't hesitate in saying yes ;-) We found a semi-private playroom (closed off, but open door and one open window) and, feeling a bit giggly, settled in. We both stripped off our skimpy clothes and jumped right in to kissing and touching. I loved the difference in our two beautiful bodies (I'm short and very curvy, big booty and 36DDD tits, she was taller, slender, with small perky tits). As the boys watched, she laid me down and licked my pussy. I LOVE my husband's tongue, and the feel of his rough bearded face, but I had forgotten how amazing the soft mouth of a woman feels (although this was our first swinging experience, I have been with women one-on-one, before my husband and I met) My husband began to kiss me and suck my tits while her face was buried in my wet pussy, and then pulled his thick cock out for me to suck while she licked and sucked my clit. As we switched, we kissed and touched some more, and I could taste myself on her tongue. I eagerly put my tongue on her sweet pussy (oh my god I'm going to be so jealous of my husband every time he eats me out now- I totally forgot how fucking spectacular the feel of a pussy under my tongue is!!!) and as I licked, sucked and nibbled, my ass in the air, my husband started to fuck me doggie style. I was so absorbed in eating her out that I didn't even realize my husband came not once, but twice! He said as soon as he saw me start to eat her pussy he exploded. She began to moan and cry out louder and louder, and I felt her cum all over my tongue. Her husband then moved in and started to finger fuck her to make her squirt, and my husband laid me down to lick my pussy and fuck me some more. All this time I can see people out of the corner of my eye, watching, getting turned on. Apparently one couple even came in and sat down for a little bit to get a closer look, but I didn't even notice. Our play finished with her husband fucking her doggie while she leaned over me as my husband ate me out. We were kissing, both each other's mouths and tits, and I worked her swollen clit with my fingers as she was getting fucked. So. Fucking. Hot. After we said our goodbyes, they left the club and hubby and I went back up to the dance floor. It was an all out fuck fest! Everywhere we looked people were sucking cock, eating pussy and fucking. We started making out again, and ended up with my tits in his mouth (my tits are large enough that he can put both nipples in his mouth at once, drives me WILD). We ended up back downstairs again, this time just the two of us, where we fucked some more with others watching, and I finished him (for those counting, that's #3!) in my mouth. After we got home, he couldn't keep his hands off me, talking about how insanely hot our experience was, and he made me cum with his fingers on my g spot and a vibrator on my clit. As soon as we woke up this morning, more fucking- lol I know I keep saying it, but we really can't keep our hands off each other! Last night has lit a fire under our already red-hot sex life and brought us even closer, and we can't wait to do it again

Simply put......It is not always easy to find a couple where all four people connect and/or are attracted to each other. Plus, as we both are straight, we have found many couples whereby the female is either bi-curious or bi-sexual and wants to have some FF action. Not judging or knocking anyone, but this will not work for my wife. In our case, as we live in an area where there is not an abundance of couples that are in the LS, so it makes the couples connection more difficult. When we first started in the LS, we were only considering other couples, and never ever considered the MFM threesome experience. However, after our first MFM experience a couple years ago, we both realized that this facet of the LS really works for us. Never ever thinking that I would be, I have come to realize that I am really turned on seeing my wife being sexual with another guy. My wife knows this and really plays up the flirting with both the other guy and myself whenever we invite a guy over. Plus, my wife really enjoys the attention of two guys, be it playing with both at the same time, or playing with one of us at a time while the other guy watches. Basically, it is much easier to connect in a threesome situation and there is always an abundance of interested guys to which my wife is attracted to. May not be the same for everyone, but that is what works for us and the reason why we enjoy the MFM threesome experience.

We had to stop swinging many years ago because Mr. intuition sustained a...um...injury. I, uh...accidentally broke his penis during an especially vigorous round of lovemaking. He ended up with cracked penile cartilage which resulted in pain (obviously) and blood in his semen. He needed several months off (or at least low-impact sex) to allow it to heal. Anyway, I went in with him to his appointment with the urologist and he was explaining his symptoms to the young East Indian intern (don't know if culture has anything to do with sexual knowledge base, but I include it here in case culture might be relevant) and he furrowed his brows. "Well, how do you know there's blood in the semen?" he asked. Mr. intuition and I looked at one another, not sure what he was getting at. "What do you mean?" Mr. intuition asked in reply. "Well," he said, "how do you see your semen if you ejaculate during sex? (meaning inside the woman's body)" Oh my God. For real? Mr. intuition had to explain to the poor young fellow that sometimes a man ejaculates outside of the woman's body...like when he likes to plaster her with it. He blushed from head to toe. Welcome to the exciting field of urology, son.

Yummy. I love watching gay porn, makes me SO wet. My husband has sucked and been sucked. He isn't bi at all - just open minded about what feels good. Lately he's been talking a lot about wanting to get fucked in the ass by a real cock (and not just me with a strap-on LOL). I hope we can make this fantasy of his come true!! MY fantasy is for him to fuck me while he's getting fucked in the ass. Talk about orgasm!!!! Lol

OK, I'll admit one of my fantasies is to eat my wife's pussy after another man has cum inside of her. I also wouldn't mind eating a cum filled pussy other than my wife's. I have had this fantasy for years, but have never had the chance to do it, mostly because my wife doesn't want me to and secondly because I haven't done it before and I have the "First Time Factor" syndrome....I guess I am a little reserved. I've asked my wife several times in the past before we play with another to let me come over after he has cum inside her and have me clean her up. She knows I want to suck her cum filled pussy. I've even considered eating her pussy after I cum in her, and a few times have come close but she gently pushes my head away. A few times I have brought myself just to climax then held back and cum a little in and on her pussy without her knowing and then went down on her and sucked her. So, how many people here, men and women like to have their pussies eaten after being fucked and like to eat cum filled pussies? I don't think I'm too weird. Maybe I am. I wish my wife would let me do it. I did have the opportunity once to suck my cum out of the female partner of a couple we were playing with, but I sort of chickened out....I think because it was all my cum. However I am sure if it was another man's cum I would have went right down and sucked her clean. What's others experiences? Yes or No? Good or Bad?

I'm going to follow this up just in case anyone feels like they got left hanging. We did eventually get together with my friend and his wife. They are vanilla, but my wife says there has always been flirtation and chemistry, so when we got together my wife and I were committed to testing the waters with them. As is always advised, my wife took the lead. She dressed sexy and made sure there was a lot of subtle touching between her and my friend's wife. Long story short, the two ladies did make out with each other much to the delight of both husbands (and the ladies too), but nothing more... until next time!

I love big butts and I can not lie! Share them if you got them.

To quickly finish my post without all elaborations. What made it not perfect was our daughter FaceTimed us from a Holiday light exhibit she went to. I was able to get a shirt on before answering. We all think I pulled off the idea we were just sitting around talking. It did lend to laughs as we restarted what we didn’t finish. I worried about Floppy Joe and said don’t fail me now. I did get a straight up Joe quickly. Another imperfect part was Debbie didn’t climax even with a very long session even with the interruption. To me I thought he had her all the way there. She told me privately that it was fun and she would do it again. Yeah she almost had the climax, I almost blame myself, she said she held back her enjoyment due to nerves. I could understand the nerves, I felt the same. I think my partner climaxed, maybe a few times. The after private time we talked. Debbie asked me what was the most difficult thing, honest watching her fall fellating him and she gave an agreeing scream, the oral sex was what she couldn’t watch too. Maybe next time will be more perfect.

We are a married couple that has been having threesomes with our male friend for close to three years now,she has always let both of us cum in her when we first started doing this she would clean after one of us came in her but now that doesn't happen anymore,she has gotten up to seven loads in her when we get together..all three of us get alone great as much fun a the sex is we enjoy joking around about it to..anyone new to this will be shy about it a first but the more you do it the more fun you will have

We do the "sloppy seconds" thing & I absolutely LOVE it!! My man loves fuking me right after another has finished inside of me. He tells me to stay laying down on my back until he is ready to enjoy me (normally after our company leaves). We stick with a small circle of playmates & he always screens very well for us so we play as safe as possible. I can't get enough of the way he lingers with & admires my body after getting filled by another man. I can really tell how much he enjoys it by how he takes me afterwards! I hafta admit that one major reason I enjoy being with other men is because of how great & sexy he makes me feel after! I also like to clean off my hubby's dik after he soaks it in my filled V. If we play with a female I always hope she is also okay with getting filled up because then I eat my hubby's cum out of her & clean her up as much as possible. However, we do feel like pubic hair is pretty gross & we prefer you shaved. Its cleaner in general but you can also tell if there's any visible soars or what not.

Looking at profiles is completely different than interacting with someone in real life. You will probably find that someone's personality, intelligence, sense of humor, look in their eye, way they dance etc, etc. make them much more attractive than simply seeing an online photo. I am amazed at some of the terrible pictures people display. Take them with a grain of salt. I believe you can be too picky. You are not looking for a spouse. You're looking to try something different and have fun. I've played with some men who initially I thought, "no." When we started having sex it was amazing!! I am so glad I took the chance and will always remember the experience as being crazy hot! I have also played with people who I thought were Adonis and it was really lacking. You just can't know if there is chemistry until you are at least meeting in person. Sometimes you don't know until you're starting to play.

Basically, yes. For us, "no kissing" would be a deal breaker. Mrs two4you would break this rule, then shit would hit the fan. So, we'd say "We hate to back out, but we know we'd end up breaking that rule for you, and we don't want to put you in an uncomfortable position".

I think I will go ahead and base my feeling about people on the totality of the image they present to me. Whether I'm playing an icebreaker game, or engaging in conversation, I (and, I'd wager, most every other member of the human race) look for opportunities to understand what people are about. This understanding comes from more than just the subject/content of their conversation- it also comes from seeing how they carry themselves, body language, seeing how they treat others, etc. If, for example, I'm talking to a person, and the person comes across as an arrogant, self-absorbed bully, I will likely not seek out that person's company even if the content of their conversation is intelligent and witty.

First of all, welcome to the board, fellow Canadian! *EDIT: Uh...sorry for the ridiculously long post, btw... Awwww, Argie71, I just want to give you a hug now! You two have been together 20 years (congratulations by the way); she's not looking to replace you. Believe me. Or better yet, ask her, and when she echoes the same sentiment, believe her! You're right, these feelings are irrational, and that's probably embarrassing for someone who identifies (like so many of us) as a rational person. Get used to it. Your heart doesn't ask permission to feel the way it does...it just does. What you are experiencing is actually a beautiful thing if you are willing to embrace it. It is the painful exposure of your vulnerability, and if you want to know what women want, it is a partner who is strong enough to allow himself to be vulnerable with her. This is the part where you tell her "This just peeled the skin off my chest, and here is my heart raw and open. You have a knife in your hand. You can heal me or kill me. Please don't abuse my trust." I commend you on your courage and desire to make your wife happy, but please be careful that you do not neglect your own emotional needs. "No" doesn't have to mean no forever; it just means no for now, until you are able to process things and assimilate these new ideas and emotions. In the meantime, you just need to ask your wife for time and space to feel fully comfortable with things. Baby steps. Start out by coming to terms with your wife being attracted to other men, a huge step in itself. Is she yours? Is she really? This is probably the thing that demarcates the line between swinger and vanilla: ownership. Territory. The thing is, I don't own Mr. intuition. I don't even want to own him. I don't want a domesticated pet on a leash. I want him to be the feral animal he was when I met him. I want him untamed, unchanged, free to come and go as he pleases...and I want him to be here because - despite all the places he could be, and all the women he could have - he chooses me. The less domesticated he is, the more that choice means to me. Does this make any sense? I don't feel jealous or angry with him for being attracted to other women, because I realize a few things about that: 1) His attraction to other women does not make me less attractive...to him, or to other men. 2) His attraction does not make him love or respect me any less. I know this because I, too, am attracted to others, and my feelings for him do not change at all. 3) He means no harm or disrespect by his attraction to others. Humans are just fancy, upright, bipedal animals. Our bodies are designed to have physical attraction to potential mates with suitable genetic matches. We call it chemistry, or having a "type". It is normal, natural and healthy. We tell ourselves that if we love someone enough, the attraction to others goes away. That is bullshit. We can brainwash ourselves into behaving that way, but it requires a great deal of effort, and you're constantly working uphill. And if you fuck up and slip, you find yourself all wound up under that boulder you've been pushing up the hill, wishing and wanting another person's body more than you need to...all because you've made it a forbidden taboo. This is why cheating is such a problem in our society; we're working against human nature instead of lovingly accommodating something that is perfectly natural, and might I add, involuntary. Still wanting to hug you. When your wife reads this, she will want to hug you, too. Again, this is a beautiful thing. Sometimes you don't get the answers you want to hear; the truth is often painful, and so you should be prepared to learn some things about yourself and one another that might make you really uncomfortable. But...that's the deal. Don't go down this road unless you're ready for the truth, whatever that may be. The good news is, 99 times out of 100, you get to watch your fears and insecurities evaporate like smoke when your spouse tells you what's really going on in his or her head/heart. Her responses may vary somewhat, but if my husband expressed these concerns to me, I would answer them like this: What if she likes the other guy better, and then the only form of sex that we will ever have will be with someone else? Not going to happen. The other guy might be hung like a horse and give me a mind-blowing orgasm...but so what? He's not you. No one else is you, and you are "home". Nothing else is worth losing this bond with you, and right now, I love you so much for giving me the freedom to be myself, it's all I can think of. Not "Oh my God this guy is so much better than my husband.", but "Oh my God, I am the fucking luckiest woman in the goddamned WORLD! I get to fuck what's-his-name here AND I get to keep the most amazing man on the fucking planet as my husband!! He ROCKS!" Will she ever enjoy having sex with me alone again or will she do it out of kindness, always secretly comparing me with the other guy? What I'd be thinking after a MFM: I wonder if he thinks any less of me now, now that he's seen me turned on by someone else? Does he hate me? Does he think I'm a whore? If he did, then I am ashamed, and so sorry for hurting him, even though I didn't mean to. Honestly, "reclamation" sex is some of the hottest, most amazing sex we've had. Our friends are barely out of the driveway and we're tearing each other's clothes off. Effects can last a week or two. What if I say no to her desire to do this MFM and she resents it, and this frustration hurts our relationship?; Okay, this one is where your mileage may vary. You need to talk this out before you try anything. Explain that you don't want anything to damage your relationship, so can she gauge how badly she wants this? Will she still love me after realizing that, perhaps, the sex life we have had so far might not have been so good for her after all? Again, not going to happen. Don't mistake familiarity with "bad". When she's done with all the excitement and novelty of exploring a new body, she's going to come "home" to you. Would you rather sleep in a hotel for the rest of your life? Or can you appreciate how good it feels to sleep in your own bed after being away? Feelings aren't just for teenagers. Not a big deal, everybody has them. If you want to get involved in swinging, you're going to have them, and you need to address them...which is exactly what you're doing. So well done. I went through this, too. When I was very young and pregnant, and our marriage was quite new, I noticed my husband's stash of porn and I FREAKED OUT. Is this what he wanted??? How the fuck was I supposed to compete with these airbrushed hairless, tanned, fat-free twats with six-pack abs, perfect tits and asses, and legs that went on for days? His answer was that I didn't need to compete with them, because they can't even start to compete with me. Okay, so they have perfect bodies and faces and hair and whatnot, but they had to be physically beautiful because it was the only thing they had going for them. He had no interest in them otherwise. I'm his WIFE, his angel, his everything. How can they compete with me? Argie71, please don't be too hard on yourself. You obviously love her very much, and want only for her happiness. Just remember you don't need to set yourself on fire to keep another person warm. I hope that when your wife reads this, she'll be as touched by it as I was. I hope it prompts many deep, meaningful conversations...punctuated with a lot of really amazing lovemaking. You're about to discover how much she loves you.

Don't let the tits fool you. Perhaps men do think differently - I don't argue that point - but I don't believe the sexes are unknowable to one another. We can read one another better than the self-help book industry would have you believe. Men and women are, underneath it all, essentially the same. I try to aim my comments at that commonality. No. You are territorial, possessive, and a collector. There are many men who do not relate to this. Or if they do, they are objective about it, recognize it as a side effect of masculine hormones or brain physiology, and do not let this aspect of their sex unduly influence the decisions they make in their lives. It's kind of up there with saying, "I'm a man with sexual needs, and I can't help cheating on my spouse. After all, she was wearing this really short skirt and propositioned me...what do you expect me to do? Resist?" Or insinuating that women can't make rational decisions because their hormones are all over the place. I'm not offended, by the way. I just disagree. Okay, so the thing is possessiveness is pretty much the opposite of what swinging is about. For us at least, and I'd invite others to chime in on this if I'm wrong. It's about releasing the perceived possession of another person and giving them back the control over their sexuality that they "gave up" to us when they vowed monogamy. Your woman is this goddess that cages herself for your sake. How much more powerful are you when you give that back to her? It's the difference between a pet budgie in a cage or a powerful, wild bird of prey that always flies back to you. My husband isn't my pet dog on a leash; he's an untamed wolf that is free to do as he pleases, and chooses to stay with me. He's a wolf who eats out of my hand. I'm not sure about this idea of conquest. Really, who has conquered whom? It's merely perception. The way you describe it, men are the predators, women are the prey. Getting fucked = being owned? Sure, you could fuck my brains out, and maybe I'd have fun and all, but really...what do you own? You have a memory of me. That's it. We have no connection, no history, no relationship. Oh, and I'd have a memory of you, too. So does that mean I own a piece of you? Don't be fooled: women and men are sexually equal. The truth is, the possession you speak of is a product of your imagination. Ownership implies power over another. But I couldn't care less what you might think you own of me. It has no effect on me. There is no power in it. I'm so enthused with my husband's abilities as a lover, it feels like a crime to keep it all to myself. He truly does possess me. He owns me in ways that no other person possibly could. What the rest of the world gets of me is just the overflow. You wouldn't be the only one to know what your partner looks like naked; if you don't like the idea of other men "owning" a visual of your partner naked, for example, you might be best to stick with monogamy. I'm not sure I'm picking up the parallel in the analogy. Do you see men, generally speaking, as beggars? Always asking for something and giving nothing in return? I wonder if it's a matter of seeing only what you're determined to see. You believe this of men, and so it's all you see? There are men of integrity out there. By the way, I'm an altruist. I love everyone, whether I've met them or not. I wish everyone well and might actually be one of those who would hand the undeserving that which they do not deserve (because ultimately, we're all undeserving), in the hope that it causes them to question the way they are living their lives. I think the hang-up seems to be the idea of ownership. I would suggest exploring that. You may dislike my suggestion, but that's probably because it's the thing you know you should do.