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  2. robertodabull
    Oh, I’ll play the game. I just hate the boring, stereotypical simulation. Women already made their decision most of the time just by looks. So why pretend or waste people’s time? Unless, again, it’s part of the kink. I just think it’s incredibly boring. There are ways to get to know each other on a more relaxed casual setting. Scandinavians are very different. Men or women. They are down to FUCK! I really need to make another trip to Oslo.
  3. Half MT Half MT changed their profile photo
  4. Today
  5. AdamGunn2
    What you are referring to is an oh-so-typical attitude among most people, the one that says, "I believe this, and if you don't believe what I believe then you're wrong and I'm right." This affects not only sexual styles, but almost all of the rest of our lives - from marriage customs to parenting to politics and then worst of all (in my opinion) religion. And all the rest. Pick a subject, and you'll find someone who is violently against what you believe, and may be willing to argue and perhaps physically fight you over it. Take an example from the late Middle Ages and Renaissance. All over Europe and Colonial America, Christians banished their neighbors or actually executed them for simply having the opinion that perhaps the scriptures should be interpreted slightly differently. (This is why I refer to myself as a 'Christian who doesn't believe in Christianity.') The solution? I wish I had one. When I find myself in the presence of someone who believes vehemently in one opinion or another that I don't share, I simply don't respond - or if I must, I walk the other way. Yes, I've been kicked out of social groups I was a member of and lost friends because of this. Unfortunately, in the United States today we are in a situation where many people aren't tolerant of other people, and feel it is their right to confront them. It's distressing. I have faith that someday we'll get past this and manage to do better as a society - but I don't think it will happen in my lifetime, which seems to have an end date in the next decade or so. So, to you, OP, I say, 'Sigh . . . I understand your angst, and wish it wasn't that way. As much as you can, don't let the turkeys get you down.' Peace!
  6. hunterdonNJcpl
    When we got into the hotwifing aspect of this, it was actually the dating aspect that initially appealled to my wife. Men are more inclined toward random, anonymous sex but, in my personal experience, ladies like to wine and dine, get to know you, and and be treated like a lady first. For us a tie is definitely not a requirement but if you show up looking shabby then no dice. Dress to impress.
  7. let's do it again
    I think it's a lot bigger problem than just in the swinging community. I live in the rural midwest, I can't imagine all the shit people catch when they interracial date or being bi or homosexuals. I think it's everywhere, some people hide it, some don't!
  8. couplers
    When it comes to sex, people are irrational, even towards their own kinks. That's especially true with male homo/bi sexuality. (Women have it so much easier in that regard.) Humans just have a lot of baggage around simple acts. That's just the way it is.
  9. SilverFoxGen
  10. SilverFoxGen
    I've allowed my current girlfriend of 11 years many times to be the fluffer of plenty of gangbangs in the past. I'm fully aware of her amazing oral inclinations & the pure enjoyment she gets when it comes to taking dicks in her mouth. I truly appreciate how comfortable & aroused she gets at showing off her slutty nature whenever having me around during the entire time. Not to mention I get to act out one of my darkest fantasies by seeing her mouth being used as a cum dumpster while she's getting throat pied by one guy after another all taking turns shooting their loads down her throat & hearing the sweet sounds of gulping every single drop of cum. I'm very happy to say she's has adopted the ANAL ONLY LIFESTYLE for about a year now & has opened up to participating in being involved with ANAL ONLY GANGBANGS including AIRTIGHT sex with me as well. The most she's taken while having ANAL GANGBANGS is 27. I persuaded her to have everyone finish in her ASS & both she & I were surprised at how many different loads her ASS was able to take before being completely filled to the brim with cum. Even though I wasn't her first ANAL experience I'm proud to say I am the one who has been able to resize her BOOTY 🕳️ to a much larger appearance & was the first to make her have ANAL ORGASMS. I'm very satisfied in the way she is in complete control of her ANAL abilities to GAPE on command or tighten up when need be. I was kinda impressed with the way her BOOTY 🕳️ was literally turned inside out after taking 27 guys & how stretched opened her ASS was left for several days afterwards. It did take her over a week to fully recover & be able to walk right & sit down to where she was able to have ANAL again but she said it was definitely worth pain.
  11. hardone2069 started following Green Light Secrets NYC Topics
  12. hardone2069 started following Threesome addicts club Topics
  13. SilverFoxGen
  14. SilverFoxGen SilverFoxGen joined the community
  15. Cescda Cescda joined the community
  16. robertodabull
    As I mentioned in other posts, I consider myself, for practical purposes, bisexual. My journey and circumstances have led me to enjoy sexual acts with men in the context of cuckold relationships and me dating couples on the submissive sexual spectrum as a sexually dominant male. The power dynamics don’t matter at all (dom, sub, switch), I just mention it for context because in my non LS world, no one would ever even think I am anything but a traditional heterosexual Latino middle aged man with adult kids and a 15 year medical career. But that’s the fun of it isn’t it? The edgy, mystery of it once you are in a safe space with other “like minded” people. But let me be clear, one of the hardest lessons I learned being a single male swinger is that those “like minded people” that podcasts and forums tell you are so open minded, caring, kind, and inclusive are some of the most brutally shallow, ignorant, homophobic, straight up mean demons you would ever encounter (with obvious very pleasant exceptions of course). I can write a book on these horror stories (and I will), but tonight I find myself pondering on why the weird attitudes about sex in this setting? Like, why is it that when I’m dating a couple in the initial stages do I have to pretend this is a typical date? Or otherwise I’m a sex crazed pervert? Why do we have to play such a stupid, over dramatic courtship game in a lifestyle in which, all parties are fully aware, revolves around sex? I can maybe understand that in a polyamory setting, if a couple is looking for a steady third. But in swinging? After we exchanged pictures and stories on explicit sexual acts you want me to perform on you and your wife? Are the suit and tie, the fancy dinner really necessary? Or is this just part of the kink? You want to be chased as a couple? Seduced? I guess it would make sense if it wasn’t so odd and impractical (or never even discussed). I have been rejected in the past many times. Most of those times because of my ethnicity or the way I look. But for a couple who was just gang banged and cummed on In the Virgin Islands by a whole village of strange men just a few weeks ago, you sure as fuck are picky on the aspect of my tie and choice of cologne. And the homophobia! Bisexual men are seen as disease ridden sacs of shit in most clubs and events. Even by other men who have enjoyed my genitalia in the past! “I wanna suck your cock but I’m not a fag ok!!! Don’t ever tell anyone or I’ll blast you!!!” B R U H!!!! Calm the fuck down! We are all here to enjoy sex, in whatever shape or form you like, no one is labeling you, or me or your wife in any way! I know repressed homosexual desires can be distressing. But I’m a big advocate of therapy prior to entering the lifestyle (I have mine on speed dial). Either way, end of rant. Ban me if you want, I just say things how they are.
  17. Yesterday
  18. SweetPeach412 SweetPeach412 joined the community
  19. harimakinji harimakinji joined the community
  20. Godlesspriest Godlesspriest joined the community
  21. Last week
  22. NWAtlSwing
    this throuple were swingers first at a party then friend for sure
  23. hunterdonNJcpl
    Great fun! Perhaps some of her role play can involve a little flirting with other bar patrons before working her way to you 😛
  24. Adventurous5682
    Hi , thanks .( once again ) to answer a few questions. yes I would like to see my wife play with another guy and him her , maybe go all the way , if she’s into that . I would like to have a soft play with a woman and then and I can have sex together. perhaps a soft swap with another couple at some stage would be something I would like to do together. But atm in good to just let her get played with . Your right about the taboos and what’s said , we have worked hard on getting where we are today , and near enough every area we can say things like how we dress and other stuff , it’s not about what’s said but how it’s delivered. You know the story I guess . anyways I like the suggestion about eventually I’ll have to cross the bridge , she’s not stupid and as I said in a previous post there’s not a lot we do t do other than swingers / threesome and couple swaps , we ruled out anal as neither of us are into that and that’s was easy to discuss . I think she would be blown away if I just said would you Like to have a play with another man or sex , at this time it would freak her out and not only that she was not there yet . from my wife’s conversations o think she wouldn’t mind going to a swingers club and just us watching a bit and getting turned on at first and see how it goes . We got an evening planned where she will Meet me in a bar and rile play an escort, something she said yea perhaps that will be nice , which means in her language yes.
  25. J&Wu started following Swingers' opinions on sexual exhibitionism by nonswingers
  26. J&Wu
    Thanks for the currant info, Wu and I used to go there often back when it was AANR affiliated for the sand volleyball over by the old pool and old clubhouse. They had good music and dance area too in the bar back then. Eventually the attitude to sex loosened and they left AANR although Caliente was the place to go for sex, until now from what you say. We may have to check it out again, if nothing else there is pickleball and long walks. We did meet a couple at Relate pre-covid that are from Paradise, would be nice to say hi, maybe more.
  27. bbarnsworth
    Again, it's hard to know from just a handful of posts. Plus, there's lots of limitations to text based communication. But, it does sound very much like what _you_ would want is for your wife to be a hotwife. You're not as interested in having sex with other women as you are in her having sex with other men. Does that sound right? There's a zillion ways in which you can skirt around the subject of wanting your wife to have sex with other men. Ultimately, there's a bridge to cross. Whether you choose to cross it is up to you. It's the asking/telling her of your fantasies. Am I correct in assuming you fantasize about her having sex with other men? Part of building trust and building communication is being very open with your thoughts. That can be really scary. It's not just about things sexual. It can be about anything really. So much of society teaches men about what NOT to say to a woman, especially a wife, because it will get you into trouble. You never say "Wow, that dress looks awful on you", or "Have you been putting on weight recently?", or "I don't think you brushed your teeth this morning, and it is noticeable". Things like this and many more are just things husbands don't say to their wives because it will end with them being in the doghouse (hope that translates across the pond). With totally open communication, you can say those things. Of course, HOW you say them is important. In the above three examples; "Love, there's lots of dresses that you look fantastic in. Unfortunately, that's just not one of them." or "Whatever kind of shape you want to be in physically is fine with me. I just want you to be healthy, and I mean it!" or "I'm telling you this because I know you wouldn't want to be embarrassed. You might consider brushing your teeth again before going out." I can tell things to my wife that lots of husbands can't, and vice versa. My wife feels comfortable telling me, "He's a yes!" or "Hey, look at her dress. Doesn't she look great?" Likewise, I can talk about other women with my wife and it doesn't result in problems. It's about being respectful, as well as being supportive. Building this level of communication I would say is critical in having an open relationship. If you can't talk fully about things, then there are potential minefields ahead. I know you say you're 99% compatible (which is I'm sure well above average for successful marriages!). Just understand; swinging (or hotwifing) is like a magnifying glass. It magnifies what if finds. If it finds love, it magnifies it. If it finds a great sexual relationship, it magnifies it. If it finds problems, it magnifies them. If it finds hidden jealousy, it magnifies it. It's indiscriminate about what it finds; it'll magnify it regardless. Even if you never get to the point of your wife having sex with other men, gaining that level of communication is great for the relationship. With open communication, revealing your deepest fantasies, including her having sex with other men, becomes easier as well as showing that you trust her so deeply you're willing to share that with her. And share it is; both of you share things to deepen your relationship. Telling her of her fantasies doesn't mean she has to act on them of course. It's entirely up to her. With that fantasy out there, you can build on the notion; "I know you're not ready to have sex with other men, and may never be. That's fine. This isn't about what I want, it's about what you want. If you like, we can try a bit of an experiment to see how you feel. Let's go to a nice club somewhere, and see what happens. Nothing beyond conversation would ever need to happen. What happens is up to you, and I'll back you up 100%. I want to help you explore your inner self and I think this might be a good way to approach it."
  28. robertodabull
    I think I created a monster (in a good way). As I mentioned before, singles males are probably the lowest on the swinger totem unless you look like Henry Cavill or something. But a good friend at work and her husband invited me for brunch one day in the West Village (my old stomping grounds before I moved to Brooklyn due to outrageous rents), and confessed to Me that they were curious about the lifestyle and that her husband was Bi curious. Im fairly open about the lifestyle with my close friends, so they wanted to arrange a play date with me (out of all people, a husky big Latino bull). Turns out hubby is into “bearish” looking dudes. We ended up having a very mellow, fun play date in which I technically took the “swing” virginity of both. It was also hubby’s first time giving oral to a man. Now I can’t stop them. They go to Hedo every year. They have a place there. They go to podcasts, events, they host naked yoga parties. She tells me “your crooked brown cock catapulted us into swinging”. It’s not really a “badge of honor” nor does it give me “bragging” rights of any kind. But it makes me feel good and it’s one of the few reasons I remain in the LS despite the brutality of it.
  29. lilinny1013 started following South Florida Swingers Topics
  30. lilinny1013 lilinny1013 joined the community
  31. Adventurous5682
    Hi , bbarnsworth , thankyou so much for the time you spent on the reply , a lot of what you said makes sense and helpful . We basically run at near on 99% compatibility, we always have done . Kinda best friends , do everything together , and are stuck like glue paper together, in other words we really get on . My wife is 💯 % hot . I guess I would feel that way anyway . She’s a very attractive size 12uk , and when she gets dressed up even in a bin bag she would probably look Hot . we probably argue about once or twice a yr , if that . We communicate though and discuss our issues a lot as and when required , obviously over the years we have had less to sort out , not that there was much anyway . I guess we are lucky that way . With reference to her hiding stuff it’s definitely on the lines of how we have been taught . We now set up what we call sex chats , so little stuff like perhaps introducing a sex swing , we can just talk in person , she’s said big stuff perhaps better to talk over text , as she is more confident that way. but she’s definitely warming up to new stuff , I’ve said to her she’s ok to be daring with me and suggest new stuff , but I suspect she is concerned about asking . Of nothing else it’s making progress , as an additional note , years ago and I mean like over 10, we were talking and I just said about going to a sex Club , she asked why and I just said to show her off as she’s so Hot , she didn’t say No though , just said nothing and the subject changed . she certainly gets really excited when we watch something together , even if its just little romance scenes with a bit of passion , when we make love afterwards she very erotic , and so far hasn’t said she so t want to go to a sex club or couple swap , as part of our conversation, although during those chats , when we say doing new stuff there’s very Little left for us to try , as the stuff we don’t want to do has already been put on the table so far . Knowing her she would probably say or hint at the idea of either so I guess how do I suggest the idea of just going and dancing in a sex club , without making it sound blunt and all about me , which it’s not , it’s about her and I like to see this side of her
  32. AntonioForFn AntonioForFn joined the community
  33. Half MT Half MT joined the community
  34. bbarnsworth
    There's an old piece of advice here that is very, very relevant: In getting into swinging or hotwifing, always go at the pace of the slower person. Some couples take years, and that's ok. My wife and I took eight months. Some couples take a weekend. No I'm not joking Whatever works for you is exactly the right speed. You say your wife is good at hiding stuff. That can be a bit of a problem. It's important for mutual communication to become very strong. It can take time to develop that, to get to the point that she feels comfortable divulging her innermost secrets. Even coming to an understanding of them to the point that she can articulate them may take a long time. There's growth here. She's gaining a deeper understanding of herself and exploring it. It's hard to know you two as a couple with just a few posts. But, at a guess, it sounds like she wants you to help her explore her erotic self. Think of this is sort of a Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs sort of thing (if you've never heard of that, look it up!) She's exploring the self actualization aspects of herself. Part of this can be scary for some people. We're programmed from an early age that monogamy is a must, and cheating is the death of a relationship. Well, having sex with consent isn't cheating. So that becomes a really difficult concept to wrap one's brain around. Rewiring the brain to think of this as something that benefits a relationship can be a slow and quite scary process. Questions can arise like, "Just how much of a slut am I anyway?" "Do I really want to be a slut?" (it's not being a slut) "Will my husband really still love me?" "Why are we doing this? Isn't it enough for us together?" and on and on and on. We're not raised in such a way that we have a tool set to manage this. It can take time to acquire this, and gain enough understanding of oneself and the relationship to get to the point of being able to do it. I'm just looking at web reviews, and Le Boudoir appears to be an upscale lifestyle/sex club. That might be too much all at once for your wife, even if the two of you are just observers. I can't judge that; only the two of you can. I mentioned above about going to a regular (non-lifestyle) club. If you go to such an upscale club, and your wife dresses nicely and in a slightly to moderately provocative way, you can have her go in ahead of you and take up a seat at the bar. You can come in 10 minutes later, and take up a chair at a table or a booth or something, where you can watch your wife. She can feel comfortable knowing you've got her back in the event some guy gets pushy. An advantage to this is your wife doesn't have to do anything except sit there and look pretty. This can be beneficial in a number of ways. First, many women think poorly of their appearance, even if they're quite beautiful. Men coming up to her will show her she is attractive, even if she doesn't think so. Two, the possibility of another man...even just the possibility...can super ignite your sexual appetites for each other. It's important to embrace though that if no one comes up to her it doesn't mean she's not attractive. Just the wrong group of people that night. I mentioned hotwifing above because of something you said; about how your wife would react to you watching another woman. Hotwifing comes in many shapes and forms, but the basic principle is that the wife of a couple has sex with other men, while the husband (generally) doesn't have sex with other women. This sounds very much like what your wife might be comfortable with as you move forward. Maybe down the road she might be willing to involve another couple. Right now, I suspect (based only on what you said) that she wouldn't be too comfortable with you flirting with another woman or softswapping with another woman. There's another term to learn; compersion. Compersion is essentially the opposite of jealousy. A person experiences compersion by actively being aroused/excited/enjoying their partner having sex with other people. For me, I absolutely "have" (like it's a disease? haha) compersion. I think my wife having sex with other people is incredibly erotic, and I love it when she has lots of fun. The more fun she has, the more fun I have. There's been times when she's been having literally toe curling sex with another man while I am there, and hearing her sounds and watching her motions is just flat out incredible. Is it possible you are wired this way too? You noted about how much it excites you to see how turned on she gets. Imagine how turned on you might be watching another man have sex with your wife and she's thoroughly enjoying it. Is that you? That might be the basis of some conversation with your wife, to encourage her to understand that it's really about her, and not about you wanting to be with other women. Maybe other women might come later, but who knows? That's up to the two of you. I hope that's some things to think about and maybe discuss with your wife. Please feel free to keep asking questions! We're happy to help! Oh and one more thing; you asked about meet and greets. Here's a Reddit thread that might get you started on finding meet and greets in England: https://www.reddit.com/r/UKSwinging/comments/1c65nuc/swinger_meet_and_greet_uk/
  35. hunterdonNJcpl
    We have always done swing partners -> friends in that order - until very recently when we did friends -> swing partners for the first time ever and I have to say it went smoothly. I feared it could have been a disaster but it was a total success.
  36. TricianMike
    The statement should be true, I wish we adhered to that. We had an idea to pick up random partners and it got out of hand. Playing with the same friends became every time left the pleasure of the unknown missing. Random partners wasn’t better it is just different. What we lost was connections, getting to know and mesh, I just didn’t care. We had years of opportunities lost, friends we could have made.
  37. nad55 nad55 joined the community
  38. TnA83
    Sounds like the problem stems from drinking in both cases. I agree that a pause in swinging is in order, at least until you two get the booze issue under control. There is a certain unsexyness in a partner that is wasted and praying to the porcelain god.
  39. NWAtlSwing
    Time for a pause on swinging. It sounds like you are feeling unsure of how she is with this other man. At the very least, don't swing with him until you sort things out. If she gets upset over that, then I feel like you have bigger issues.
  40. Adventurous5682
    Thanks , where do we find meet and greet evenings , the club I like which is high class , or at least has the best reviews is le boudoir in London , also she’s not bi or bi curious as far as I know , but you never know , she good at hiding stuff 😂 , not sure a strip club will work as atm she’s likely to see me watching another woman strip a threat , I’m working on reassuring her the flirting and new things I want to try are about her and how much it excites me to watch her get so turned on , we have only started watching erotica stuff over the last few months maybe about 6 , she’s progressively gone from No , do t want to watch it at all , to now we have watch and play evenings , she dresses up sexy and gets the toys out and we both watch and cum , or have sex . She’s opening up slowly , I’ve also sent her text measages as well while I was at work telling her to go shower and then go to the bedroom and cum , she did it no question, also I set up a erotic short clip and she’s watched it and lve crept in and watched up cum to it . She loves it . And said she wants to do it again . the other day we agreed that if I introduce something new then we do it over text first as she a bit nervous in person , but so far I’ve had nothing from her to say no in any area , what’s your council
  41. bbarnsworth
    Keep nurturing conversation. You can also try some things, like going to a strip club together (if she is bi, or bi curious). You can go to a regular club too, with her dressed somewhat provocatively and let her explore reactions of men around her. You could go to a swinger's "meet and greet"; things usually don't happen onsite, but it opens possibilities. Lots of ways to have a look at the water, if not dip your toe in it. With all of these you can then discuss with her how she felt, what seemed exciting, etc.
  42. Adventurous5682
    So I’ve started off some questions and so far so good , I’m going really careful as. Do t want her to feel she’s being pushed into new stuff. ill also add , she already gets tied up and. Has a sex cushion she bounces on and uses a dildo and a vibrator , she cumms on it too .
  43. robertodabull
    Green light as in my partner and I letting each other play solo. That sounds like a fun fantasy. The dynamic was a little different, but a couple wanted me to “live” with them for a weekend. It was super fun.
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