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  2. The meet n greets is a good idea. That is a great way of building a network, which is where the gold lies. While you are at it start a dedicated g mail account with as little accurate profile as possible and attach a Google Voice Phone number to it. Use both of these as dedicated points of contact for your LS friends. This has two advantages. The first is that both you and your wife can access them , which makes it easier to stay in the loop for each of you. The second is that it allows you to give out your contact information with out the normal newbie fears of being outed. We even have cards with this information. Some people choose to use pseudonyms . We just use our real first names as they are quite common in the wild. Remember to play your OWN game plan , nobody else's. Best of luck.
  3. Today
  4. What would you do going to a new vanilla friends home for dinner? Do that.
  5. Old joke: how do you get to Carnegie Hall? I've talked about this on here before, but when Mrs. E and I first met, she was actually pretty reluctant to give head. Sometimes it would happen in the course of third dates, etc., but she felt it was extremely intimate and a little too scandalous to do casually. I was from a very different background where I was used to women giving head casually to put off intercourse. The funny part is, she gives amazing head. When we started talking about exploring with others, one of my biggest fantasies was seeing her suck cock, and she was open to it but struggled with the idea of finding a third comfortable to try it on. As we got started, whenever she'd get a little anxious about boundaries around trying specific sex acts, what I'd think of her, if it was too much too fast, my go-to was "it's just cum". You've picked somebody you're comfortable hugging, comfortable kissing and exchanging saliva with, comfortable having your nipples stimulated by, comfortable stimulating their penis. Ejaculation is what men's bodies do. Sure, we reserve cumming inside her for us as an intimate act, but the fluid itself is just another thing that gets spread around during play and it's not a big deal. We've both evolved a long way about sex and bodies through experimentation. She's at the point where she just wants to know her hair is out of the way and there's a towel and a shower, she's putting on a show with her body and comfortable in her skin - which she really should be. She doesn't think twice about semen anymore, and she knows I'm sincere about loving the theater around it and don't think less of her. The punchline: Practice, practice, practice.
  6. Good for you. I wish others looked at sex as only a fun thing. If it doesn’t hurt anybody it should only be fun.
  7. When we first registered we had blurred pictures on our profile with full face shown when we believed the others were not fake. We had full nudes, non-sexual pictures we would share as our texts went along. Presently our picture is blurred again.
  8. People are who they are and there are no set rules for social graces in the LS for meet n greets, situational setups or for just plain ol’ sex play. I’m not including parties or an organized gatherings. Just plain one on one, couples or themed play sessions. During our years of hosting parties, threesomes, moresomes or fantasy experiences I would always advise single/solo males on expected etiquette, behaviors….expectations. I often, for first time single/solo male party attendees that bringing a single flower (no roses) for each female attending or a nice bar of chocolate to hand out when introduced to wives/girlfriends, single and solo ladies was a great icebreaker. But this was for or semi closed swinger group. Not open to the public. under normal/regular LS events maybe not very accepted.
  9. I never thought this is degrading or thought someone doing it is degrading me. Possibly some men do it as their way of showing power, I always looked at it as another playful act. So many years ago the first time a boyfriend did it I took it as a respectful thing. We both laughed afterwards when he apologized. I have a vivid memory of what happened, he was in my mouth and pulled out and used his own hand to finish. He said he didn’t want to cum in my mouth so I thanked him and gave him the biggest kiss with all that still on my face. I never told him that he wouldn’t be the first that didn’t pull out. I don’t feel degraded most of the time, at my age if I thought a partner was trying to degrade me I would throw him the F out. I find it funny to watch it cum out. I’ve had other things squirted on me in fun. So many things men do can be classified degrading if you allow it to get to you. I have a friend that says anal sex is degrading so for her it is and she shouldn’t allow it. Spanking during sex is exciting not degrading. When a friend asks me why I let him do something my standard answer is if I didn’t like it I wouldn’t do it. At my age I’m there for the laughs and giggles.
  10. Yesterday
  11. Join SLS or SDC. They list events in your area. Attend a meet and greet that is purely social and not a sexual event. Phone numbers mean dates. And if you are not vaccinated for HPV, do so.
  12. Hi, me and my wife are looking to start swinging and don’t know where to start really. We ideally would like to attend a well organised event possible something up market, was wondering if anyone could help with how you find these sort of places and how you get invited? thank you
  13. I would welcome any gift and accept it graciously as it was intended. If a man is asking to bring something, he is also showing his manners and respect. A lot better than showing up un-showered, after having a few drinks on the way and immediately attacking my wife.
  14. No face pics on sls/aff. But we do have some on the local swing club's page where getting membership approved in person at the club is required to get access. With the naughty bits in a private album.
  15. Been playing alone for many years way before we started swinging. Most relaxing thing, home alone with a candle burning just me and a toy. Now I am a new modern woman and able to talk about toys with a friend and found out playing with that friend is fun too.
  16. Blackmail can be a traumatic experience, and seeking help is the right step. Here's some info on how to stop sextortion and deal with such situations. They offer guidance on reporting the incident, protecting your privacy, and seeking legal assistance if necessary. Remember, you are not alone in facing these challenges, and there are resources available to support you.
  17. Last week
  18. Mary had rare occasions when she would solo. It was always! with men we’d already played with, and our ‘standard’ rules applied - condoms must be used, etc. Usually, it was because I was out of town or had a meeting. One time I had to work during the day, and there was a pool party at a friends house, I gave her permission. I was with another couple only once when she was out of town. They were our very good friends, and I’d never been in an MFM when I was the ‘other man.’ (Yes, it was fabulous.)
  19. As the husband of a hotwife, if the guy brought something, such as a bottle of wine that would be shared by all of us, it was fine. If he brought flowers or something like that, I was a little offended. (If she and he were regular lovers, I suspended that feeling.)
  20. Because Mary had a public position where she could be fired for 'moral turpitude,' we only opened our private pictures which included our faces when we had made a date to meet. If our potential partners didn't understand that, we figured they/he weren't the playmates we wanted.
  21. We always preferred full-swap. We made no mystery of it, we were there for sex with the other people. Having said that, if we were in to the other couple and they were soft-swap, we'd go along. Or if the other lady was having a bad-time of the month, I'd do soft-swap while my wife would go full (if that was okay with the other wife.) We did soft-swap with single males more than once, but that was because when it came to push and he couldn't shove, what are you going to do?
  22. As soon as Mary got the memo, she started performing her magic trick. When we arrived at the club, she'd be wearing what I'd call street-sexy. Perhaps a short skirt, a button down blouse with a little bit of cleavage, sexy underwear. As the first hour or so went by, she might undo two or three buttons to reveal her bra, eventually she might take the top off. Then, when she felt the time was right she'd go into the restroom and change into her lingerie choice of the evening - babydolls, teddies, or even just that sexy bra and panties. That's what I enjoyed, but if the woman was interesting and confident, I didn't much care what she was wearing.
  23. The easy answer is that we seemed to gravitate to same-room, but sometimes did separate rooms. It depended on circumstances. Mary and I liked seeing each other and both (or all, if it was a moresome) of the partners. The visuals are astounding, the sounds enthralling. Even the smell is intoxicating. But there were two situations where we would gladly do separate rooms. The first was that if the other couple wanted separate, we would bow to their wishes. (Notice I said ‘couple’, we never believed a single male had a vote in it - if he didn’t want me to be present, he didn’t want sex with my wife enough.) The other was when we’d played with the other couple previously, and we realized we were mismatched. It’s no secret that my wife was a hang-me-from-the-chandelier type, I could be romantic. So if the other man wanted that, and the woman wanted to be wooed, we’d break off for an hour or two.
  24. I’m going to presume that by ‘date’, you mean a get-together at a restaurant, bar, coffee-shop, park, etc. In those situations, where we agreed to meet a couple or single male though a swing site, we always told them we normally don’t have sex on the first date. (If it was a single male, we said ‘never.’) Then we got into the situation, and we learned that we knew if we wanted to have sex with them/him, why not do it on the first date? On the other hand, if either (or both) of us knew it was never gonna happen, we could walk away with no hurt feelings. Now, if we just bumped into a couple or single at our club, and all were agreeable, it was let’s-find-a-room. But I don’t think that’s ‘dating.’
  25. Many times we had simple hookups at the swing club, that was fine. Occasionally, the people we met would turn into friends. Other times, we set up foursomes through SLS. Usually, after the first date we didn't see them again (sometimes there wasn't sex, often it was a one-night stand,) but with three couples we built relationships that lasted for years. So, for us, the correct answer was "We don't expect to be friends when we first swing, and we're not upset if we don't turn out to be friends, but we do hope for friendship."
  26. Can I have two answers? Please? Technically, my first swing experience was when I was 32 or so. My girlfriend and I were playing strip backgammon (hey, it was the 70s!) with the other couple, we split off and they made love over there while we were over here, and suddenly the other wife came over to visit us and so my girlfriend went over to him. Totally unanticipated on our part, although I now believe the other couple planned it all out. Unfortunately, for other reasons I was in the process of breaking up with my girlfriend, so it was only the one time. I then get married, we go twenty years without any hint of recreational sex, and then we were in our early 50's I ask Mary if she want's to go to a sex club and she says yes. (It was actually a swing club.) And just to muddy the waters further, when I was 24, my wife at that time was what you'd call a hotwife for eight months.
  27. Our first experience wasn't horrible, but it wasn't that great for me (the male) either. We went to a swing club and didn't get invited to play with anyone that night. (We met a numbers of couples, and played with some of them on subsequent nights.) One couple invited us over to their home, (Mary was into him, to me she was just okay.) We went, and sat around for at least an hour, both Mary and I wondered what was going on. Then, I don't remember exactly how, it was agreed that Mary would go into the bedroom with him, I'd stay in the den with her. The other wife wasn't very receptive to foreplay - I don't believe she performed oral sex on me - but she did let me screw her in missionary. It was over very quickly. Then, for the next forty-five minutes, I heard my wife whooping it up with the other husband, while I felt I had to sit there with the other wife. Was it terrible? No, I got laid. My wife had a wonderful time. We learned a lot. Our first experience was over, we quickly had much better times with other couples.
  28. Reading this after 16 years, entitlement thinking and tantrums because others don’t do what you want when you want it doesn’t seem to have gotten better.
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