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Showing results for tags 'rude behavior'.
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What the hell is wrong with single men in this lifestyle? My wife and I recently decided to seek out a single guy for some occasional threesome fun, and besides the usual morons who replied and bragged about being a “dominant bull” (GOODBYE!!!), we had a few promising replies who initially abided by what we stated we required. I (husband) do the initial screening, chat with the guy for awhile, where I set the ground rules, including that he’s already gotten all the pictures (G-rated) he’s going to get, and to show respect for my wife. I then have my wife communicate with him directly (her desire). Invariably, the guys then lose their minds, request naked photos, try to get sexually graphic, etc. They literally fuck up a free lunch, because they can’t control themselves. What the eff is wrong with these guys?? Abide by our rules, be respectful, and you can possibly have regular NSA sex with a gorgeous woman, but they still manage to fuck it up. <rant off>- 39 replies
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WTF???? Yeah so I'm only two years into this lifestyle...but STILL...I've seen it every time I go to a public swing club. Tonight it annoyed me to no end. I'm in a room...WITH THE DOOR CLOSED...AND A FOLD-UP CHAIR SORTA WEDGED IN FRONT OF IT and there are signs EVERYWHERE saying NOT to open closed doors. This fucking perv pushes the door open---looks in and says "Oh excuse me" I could see if he was WITH a woman--and he was looking for an empty room. But it was the same freak I saw walking around jerking off at every piece of ass he saw. THAT'S IT - I'm done. No more public clubs...only private house parties for me! These PATHETIC single men are annoying. -
Anyway, we've been lurking and posting here for awhile now but now we're in a spot where we could use some advice. Been an active member on a few boards to know that by the end of this discussion there will have been too much advice to follow. But maybe we don't need advice but just to vent? Anyway, we've been flirting with the idea of swinging for years, and a couple of months ago we made the first step: we went to a swinger's club. My wife seemed a bit skeptical about the whole thing, but once in she seemed to like the atmosphere, the eroticism and the omnipresent sexuality and lack of inhibitions. We ended up having great sex with each other in the playroom and had a couple of weeks of awesome sex after. As we were walking out the club she mentioned that she still doesn't know why would people have sex with others. I had to be a smart ass and tell her that they probably started out just like us. Anyway, we went to the club a couple more times and just watched others while being watched playing with each other. Then one night at the club, our table became somehow popular, we had a great time, met some new people, tried to make a new couple comfortable by telling them about our first time there and how nobody talked to us. Anyway, we went to the playroom, decided to play with each other as usual, but since the swing was taken(we wanted to try that) we ended up in the big pool table size bed. Shortly after some other couples came and before we knew it the whole room was now an orgy. While I was having sex with my wife, I felt that she was very turned on, so I motioned to a guy that was available that it was ok to have oral with her. She went for it and that was so arousing that shortly after I felt the need to see her having sex with another man, so I went and got a handful of condoms, placed them on the bed next to the guy and told him to use one and have sex with my wife. I watched as he put on the condom and entered her, then I noticed a lady next to us and she said it's ok for us to play. At one point however, I tried to kiss her but she wouldn't so that turned me off and decided to go back to watching my wife with another man. Then I realized he wasn't wearing a condom, I asked him why isn't he wearing one and told him he needs to stop. I didn't wanna make a scene since it was our first time with other people and I was afraid my wife will freak out thinking I had a jealousy fit. I know I have a bad temper and didn't wanna scare her. So we just left the club. Soon after, we found out that the couple we slept with are known as predators, that they don't play nice and are banned from any other club in town. All our online friends wished they were there to warn us. My wife is still breastfeeding and wasn't on any birth control then. We don't believe in abortion and the two of us have unprotected sex with each other all the time. We do have young children and wanna be able to raise them and we need our health for that. We decided to keep playing and we went to a new club that's a bit more selective of it's members. We don't wanna ever go back to the first club. While it's too late to undo what's done, confronting the guy over the bareback issue doesn't make sense to me. It's my word against his, he'll simply deny it. Some friends told us that the owners of the club wanna talk to us about this issue. Anybody and their dog knows that these two are bad news, and that they prey on newbies, since the experienced won't have anything to do with them. They are banned from all other clubs yet the owners of this club didn't banned them and didn't care to warn us about it. Other members didn't warn us about them either. We've been thru hell the past 3 weeks waiting for a negative pregnancy test, and it is negative. But we have cold sweats with any itch that got or not to do with the crotch area. It sucks tho, it was our first experience and totally not what we were looking for. We changed clubs and our friends are asking us to go back to the first one but we just don't want to. We think it was the owner's duty to keep us safe and they didn't do that when they allowed people with a bad rep, that were banned from other clubs to be members and didn't at least warn us. We feel they sold us out for an entrance fee. -
We got a message from a guy yesterday on one of the sites we are on that said “ I could fuck it I am in town for the day”. Open his profile and there is next to nothing on it and just the usual cock pic. Normally I just ignore these kind of idiots, but instead I replied “ we will take a pass. There is nothing about your profile that is appealing and we have real lives and don’t just drop everything to hook up with random people we know nothing about”. His response was “ well this is a swingers site after all”. Which made me realize that many people seem to think that if people are swingers they will fuck anybody and everybody. This misconception is about the furthest thing from the truth for us anyways. It does help explain why so many people including some couples out there think they can put absolutely no effort into their profiles, themselves or talking to people and people will just be desperate to have sex with them. Our experience is that swingers are not just sex fiends that fuck anyone that is available. At least not the ones that we would be interested in. If anything we are even more selective, because there are so many options out there.
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We recently met a new couple on an LS site. We had a great time with dinner and drinks. They invited us back to their house for play. We ASSUMED they enjoyed their time as much as we did because they mentioned us staying at their house next time. We sent them a lovely KIK message thanking them for the evening, and they replied. We provided a kind validation to their account, and noticed they had approved that validation. Well, we are 48 hours away from them accepting our validation and not returning the favor. We have taken this as they DID NOT enjoy their time enough with us. We feel this is rude. We are assuming they are trying to send us a non verbal message to us of "we did not have a good time and wouldn't repeat." Are we taking this wrong? We have no intention of discussing this with them because we don't want to create drama or an awkward situation. We feel like even if we didn't want to repeat with a couple we would still return the favor of a kind validation. -
(I received the below privately and was asked to post it) "I was at a hotel party and group play was happening when one of the men tried to initiate penetration without a condom. I stopped him and asked him to please put one on. He apologized and said he and his partner were "condom optional." This was not at all discussed previously. While I enjoyed socializing with this couple I never want to have sex with him again. Bareback is the exception to me and never an assumption. I can't give a second chance with my trust. I expect I will likely run into him again and politely decline. I wanted to share my experience, vent a bit, and be open to others input."
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I made this aside in another post. "Am I the only woman that actually likes the word "cunt" for both the genitalia and as slang for a woman? It sounds so strong." How do you feel about it?
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For the second time, a couple declined to play with us by saying he would like to play with my wife, but we don't have a four way match. Call me thin skinned, but isn't that insulting to me? He is saying that his wife doesn't want to play with me. Would it not be more diplomatic to just say we are not a match? Well, my wife is hot. I will play with her and that guy won't. And my wife is much hotter than the two women who dissed me. It's a rough crowd out there! Ps: I am HWP, above average looking, certified good partner.
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Hi my husband and I met a couple that we think would be great to play with. Lots of sexy communication between all of us for a week. Had a meet n greet, laid out ground rules and all things were a go. During meet n greet the other guy say next to me rubbing my leg, placed my hand on his dick for a quick touch under the table. My husband asked the wife if he could touch her leg under the table and she freaked out on him. Saying no pda no pda. Mind you this is the same woman who was telling him during the week how she wanted to suck his dick etc. This is the same woman who invited us to meet them at a Halloween party the next night and after we were supposed to go to their house to play. Party night arrives, we got there first. They show up and sit with us for about 15 minutes then get up to mingle. Well they pretty much ignored us the rest of the night so we started mingling too. We were having a blast meeting new people and out the corner of my eye I see them leaving with no good bye, they stiffed us on our play date The next day I texted them asking what was up. The husband tells me that my hubby reminded her of her ex husband and if she were to kiss him it would be like being with her ex. He told me they both wanted and liked me and were both attractive me. I'm like WTF? It's not like she didn't know what he looked like before all this and we did meet each other. So my question is were we played out? -
As a couple we enjoy MMF. I enjoy sharing her pleasure, I am not Bi and the choice of guy is always hers. I don't know if it could be called her fantasy but what she feels safest doing is meeting up with a potential male playmate at a lifestyle club, we have partied at the Red Rooster Club Las Vegas many times. We have had a couple of successful experiences but not many.In fact our first MMF experience was at the Red Rooster. The type of guy she looks for is one who is respectful to her, dressed nice, and of course clean. Many times there are single guys who would be perfect, but their approach takes them from what could be a great evening to no way in hell. Although she is not looking to fall in love, she still wants to have somewhat of a connection. She is quite hot and our experience has been if she is left alone single guys surround her like a pack of dogs in heat. Not so bad except they act like dogs in heat also. She gets lines like "I would sure like to have a piece of that", "Can I have sex with you" etc etc. One guy said "I would sure like to see what those tits look like" or some guy will leer at her while whacking off in his pants. I am not saying she does not like this kind of talk, but not as an opening line. These lines may well work if a guy shows her some respect maybe takes the time to meet her have a bit of a conversation, flirt with her in a respectful way. I can not count the number of times that from across the room she has made eye contact with a guy who interests her only to have the guy come over and make some crude comment about her tits or ass or what he wants to do to her. Come on guys this is a total stranger you are making these comment too. Do you really think walking up to a woman anywhere and making those comments that you are going to score...maybe 1 in 100. Not all single guys are like this but it seems there are more then there should be.The times we has connected with a guy who knows how to treat a lady the evening as been amazing. These are ladies, wives, moms, etc they are not hookers. For me this is disappointing, I miss out on a potentially fun evening. If only these guys knew how many times a different approach would have provided them an unforgettable evening. After my long rant, my question: Do other couples feel this way or is it just something we are doing wrong? Are our expectations too high? -
A single guy contacted us. Nice enough note, said he read our profile, thought we had things in common... so I wrote back, let's exchange photos and chat. He replied asking if we always play as a couple? Here's the thing. We don't always play together, but I don't want a single guy who is looking for one on one with me and might be willing to have a threesome if that means he can eventually get me alone. I feel like it's almost rude/poor judgement of him to ask about one on one when our profile makes no mention of playing separately. But, then I think, at least he's being open and it never hurts to ask. I simply replied that we like to play together. Should I talk to him further or just drop it? Do you think it's poor protocol to ask about one on one before you've even met?
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If you are invited to a party, but there is no open rsvp guest list, is there a way to ask who is coming with out being rude? We were invited to a party. We like the hosts, but don't think they are really interested in us as play partners. Going to this party will require that we spend a good amount on hotel, overnight babysitter, club fees, meals, etc. I know that my husband and I will have a great time no matter what. However, I'm less inclined to go if there is not a possibility that there will be people there who are potential swing partners. There is not a guest list for the party. We don't know the hosts very well. We've been to their house for a party and are friendly online. What would you do? -
We have been enjoying ourselves and meeting new people in the lifestyle for a short time now. We have enjoyed going to the clubs and attending the events but we have been interested in attending some off premises meet and greets. There are a few groups in the area that list them on the SLS board for anyone to sign up for and attend. I recently decided to sign us up for a party a local group was arranging. Since they did not make it clear in the posting I sent the organizer a message inquiring about the location and cover charge. we did not receive a message back but noticed a couple days later the post had been changed to include "Guests that sign up, must receive a confirmation email from us to confirm their spot on the guest list. The confirmation email will include all the event details." That makes good sense and we figured the event organizer is bombarded with messages and that was a great way to handle it. I get on line today and noticed we had been removed from the attended list. I assumed I must have hit the wrong button and inadvertently removed us so we added us again. Two hours later, poof, gone again. I sent the organizer a message "We have signed up for the event on Saturday and we seem to keep getting removed. Is this a very polite way to say we are not welcome?" We have yet to hear back and my gut tells me we wont. Have we been told we are not acceptable for their group? Their group information is a new social club for HWP couples and single females in the Raleigh and Charlotte areas. they have been around since 2012 so they are not very good at updating the group info The event advertisement is the areas biggest and hottest social group in the Raleigh area, is thrilled to announce our next party will be on Saturday, January 18th from 9:30PM-1AM in downtown Raleigh! For those that haven't been to one of our events we rent out a bar in downtown Raleigh and routinely fill it up with the hottest couples and sexiest single females in the area! These events are pressure free and a great way to meet new friends. Our venue features a full bar, DJ, dance floor, large outdoor patio- all 100% for our group to protect your privacy. That we are aware of we have never met the couple who organized the event. I have contacted one of the admins previously introducing ourselves to them. They stopped responding to our messages after a couple back and forths so I would have guessed they were aware I knew how to take a hint since I stopped messaging them. We consider ourselves attractive although we are a bit fluffy so we can only assume they are able to look at our profile and public pictures and determine we are not their type of people. I went to the organizers SLS profile and it read; We Are Looking For: We are a fun and social pair that really enjoy meeting new people. As with most people we stay busy so our time out is limited so let when free we prefer to attend parties or events. We like to believe we are attractive and both have very warm and outgoing personalities. Overall, we think we are pretty snazzy people. Description : We have pictures to trade other than the ones posted here. Both of us are in good shape and HWP. Our fantasies and/or real experiences: What else we'd like to say, do, see, hear about and/or learn: We are not into full swap. If this is not what you are interested in, we totally understand and respect it, but it is just not for us at this time. Since what they are looking for describes who they are we can only assume they are looking for themselves. If people are going to organize and hold events that are limited to only the type of people they want to attend should they not specifically advertise it as a members only event? If they advertise that they will send out confirmation e-mails and they don't want someone to attend their event would it not be less offensive to simply never send the confirmation rather than delete them from the event? I know there is a whole argument about returning messages. Some people are saying no thanks by simply not responding, others at least take the time to send a quick thanks but no thanks. But a event organizer should at least have the common courtesy to say "we don't think you'll fit into our group". I think people like this are who put a lot of people giving the lifestyle a try the unnecessary push away and discourages participation. Yes, rejection is a normal and acceptable thing, not everyone is into everyone. But seriously, a whole group? Yes I am ranting and I figured this would be a pretty good place to do it. I really don't want to send them another message because I intuitive enough to know that no response is all the response I will get. -
We are 40-somethings, less than six months into the lifestyle. But we've played plenty in that time. Met a couple a a party last weekend. 50-somethings, and plenty experienced. We got to talking and touching in the pool. While Mrs. DontStop and the male continued pool play, I led the female upstairs. Since it was obvious from the underwater action she was ready to mount me right there, I told as we headed up that we play safe. She said ok, but her husband didn't have any condoms. We played upstairs and later they joined us. After some time he was ready to mount Mrs and we stopped him and said "You gotta wrap it first." He didn't say much after that, and within in a few minutes he said he was taking a break and left the room, and us in a FMF situation. Did we fail here, not expressing safe play to him ahead of time?
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We've had our share of experiences with meeting couples who turned out to only be interested in me (the female), looking for bi-play or whatever, but last night I experienced what it's like to be on the other side of the coin. We headed to our favorite social last night and before heading out we checked SLS as we always do. Pet noticed we had a new message from a couple who was going saying they hoped to meet us. That's always cool to see, especially when the couple appears to be attractive. Once at the party I was helping out at the front desk and Pet had come by to talk to me for a minute and said he thought he'd seen the couple who'd emailed us but he wasn't sure. Right about that time the girl walks up and looks at Pet and says "I emailed you". I really may as well have not been there at all. At first I gave her the benefit of a doubt, do I not look like my pictures anymore? After a minute Pet introduces me and she continues to go on talking to him like I'm not there. WTF!? She goes on and I finally make it back into the social and go over to their table where Pet is talking to them. I walk up and comment on the discussion (about a party in another area) and introduce myself to the husband. He seems nice enough but I really had the instant urge to ask him if the cowboy getup was his normal wear or just for the theme (ride a cowboy). At any rate, it seemed that right after I introduced myself the conversation just died. DEAD! I felt like I'd intruded or something. So, I excused myself and went to talk to someone else. It was just weird! So that was something totally new to me, and a good reminder to myself to continue doing what I normally try to do and introduce yourself to the partner first (the one of the same sex as you), include them in the conversation even if you aren't interested in them. Cuz, ignoring the wife is not a good way to get to the husband (or vice versa). -
This is a stronger question then my last and it has been bothering me for some time. We are 100% straight couple and we've received quite a bit of grief because of it. Recently, we decided we wanted to experiment with couples. We've had numerous chances in the past to act on this but weren't ready to take that route. Anyways, as our search started and progressed, we found it is almost a bad thing to be a straight couple. Mainly with the female halves of other couples. We receive numerous messages and IM's stating they would love to get together with us and the question that always comes up is our sexuality. We are immediately shut down when it is voiced that we're straight OR I'm insulted to the point where I want to retaliate with the meanest come backs possible. I haven't but its tough when it's being dished out for absolutely no reason. I guess I don't know what to do. We look for straight couples but their few and far between. It says right in our profile in BOLD letters that we are both straight and not looking to experiment with bi sexuality right now. You could say I'm high school bi, I'll kiss a girl and might fondle but I'm not into leading people on, nor do I want it to seem the chance of it going any further is there, so it's not included in our profile. Another thing we get is the couples who are OK with us being straight, slowly bring into the conversation that they would like me to have an open mind and consider trying the woman of the couple out. Makes me nervous to play with any couples with the words bi or bi-curious in them. It's not what I want nor what I am looking for right now. Has anyone else ever had this problem? We've already stated what we are and what we're looking for. We've told interested parties what's in our profiles and then get grief for it. It's very confusing and frustrating. When voiced on our local swinger board we were told I needed to convert to get anywhere in the swinging world. We'd be one lonely couple if I didn't at least go bi curious. :confused: We want to have fun with other couples, but not if it means I have to change what I like or try to like something I'm not interested in. In time, my views may change but right now they are what they are. Does anyone else out there have these issues?
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An old friend recently revealed to me that while she and my wife were having a three way encounter with a male acquaintance a couple of years ago, the guy reached for his cell phone and videoed himself having sex with my wife from behind --without her knowing. She says she did not know what to do at the time, and it still bothers her. I told her to keep quiet, as my wife would be mortified is she found out. The guy moved away shortly after, and there is no benefit I can see from bringing this up. My Wife drunkenly agreed to be in an amateur VHS porn movie as a teen-ager (under 18) and lived in dread that the video would surface. This is way off limits for her. Everyone has a cell phone now. Look out
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We were at a club last weekend. We were in the hot tub and there were lots of other couples in there as well. My wife started dancing (nude). Another female decided to join her. Well, before you know, they are kissing and sucking each other's nipples and going at it. They moved over to the steps and kept up the action. Well another female that we know came over and joined in on my wife as well. It was very hot, but I guess it was a little too hot because alot of other people just thought that it was ok to just help themselves to some feeling and kissing. They were single males. I eventually had to break it up because more and more people were making their way over. It could have easily gotten out of control. Maybe I'm a party pooper but I didn't see anyone else offering up there wives for something like that. I mean, what goes through a guy's brain that just because these women are playing in an open forum that it's an open invitation for anyone. I guess it's the same with the meeting sites. We state specifically in our profile that pics are required in order to chat. I must answer about 10 emails per day without pics. These people for some reason believe that just because a woman is in the lifestyle, that she is desperately seeking any sex that she can get. But back to the club....I know I did the right thing but some people acted like I committed a crime or something. -
Hi, We went to our first swinger house party a couple of weeks ago, and had a relatively good time, but have a few etiquette questions for the next one. Question #1: If couple #1's wife approaches couple#2's husband, is it then a given that couple #1's husband is playing with couple #2's wife? Question #2 is advice on what should I have done? One woman at the house party was making it known she was interested in my husband, and we had discussed it earlier by ourselves that we were interested in them. Later in the evening we all (5 couples total) got in the hot tub she reached for my husband, I reached for hers. That was when she pushed my hand away. Being a newbie, and not wanting to make a scene at our first house party, I backed off while she enjoyed my husband. Again, being new, I didn't know if this was how house parties work? Later when another woman asked me if she could take advantage of my husband I realized that maybe what had happened in the hot tub wasn't right. Thank you in advance for any advice you might have for us. -
We aren't prudes - I think... I mean, we are active swingers who feel like we have a pretty good grasp of the lifestyle, some wonderful friends and some awesome experiences. We don't play with the lights off or start every play date with prayer time... But still... Are we too uptight about things? We have a couple that we are good friends with and probably because they are comfortable with us, recently the husband started being extremely crude - always talking about sex in rather base terms. Here's an example: Mrs Spoo and I are in our training for Spring races right now (going great!) and one of the things about that is a fairly regulated diet. We are over at their house and have brought our own snack - a 9:00 ration of yogurt and cereal (Kashi Go-Lean Crunch... Yum!). "I can work you up some yogurt right here..." He said refering to masturbation... To which both of us turned green and decided to wait a little while before eating our snack. To us - that really is not sexy. It's gross. Needless to say, our visit that night was just to watch movies. This couple is a lot of fun and really, really easy to get along with otherwise. For the longest time, they were respectful to the point of almost being shy. But, comfort has brought out that side of their personality and it is a big turn off for us. But, since they are wonderful friends, we are giving them room and a little slack. Had they started out this way - we'd have never hooked up with them at all. We had a couple be this way at the club and interest went to "no way" quickly. The husband kept wanting to see Mrs Spoo' "Pooter" in exchange for some lame magic trick. I explained to him how the trick was done and that my wife doesn't even have a "pooter" - whatever the hell that is. Now - we have a single guy who we have been talking to. Seems like a great guy, but his last PM to us ended with the line, "can't wait to meet you two and hopefully MEAT you too! LOL!" Ick... *shudder*... Why? Just... why??? I am not used to guys my age acting that juvenile. I told him that we were going to write off his PM as being written while drunk - and we'll see how things go... But what a turn off. Anyway - are we prudes? Is this just something we are going to have to learn to live with? I have talked to people about some of the most disgusting things - I can't put my finger on it except maybe for juvenile - but some things ("yogurt", "MEAT", "pooter") just make my skin crawl. Spoomonkey PS - I did have a playmate once with whom I had this running joke about eating poop. But for some reason, as gross as the jokes were, the context made it funny. And anyone who knows us knows we aren't exactly Mormon-esque. So - I don't think that is the problem...
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Here's the scenario: A woman in an open relationship plays with a new, very good and very compatible casual sex partner outside of her primary relationship. During their first encounter, she suspected that he didn't like her tits. But then during the second time she played with him, he was paying her tits so much attention, she happily remarked, "I thought you didn't like my tits, but you've been playing with them so much, I'm beginning to think you do like them." He then says, "I generally prefer tits that are smaller and perkier, but they're skin and all skin is good skin." If you were this woman, how would you feel about this guy saying this and how would you respond? What types of feelings and responses do you think would be appropriate and reasonable for the woman to have? Would you think it is reasonable for this to hurt her feelings? For her to be in stunned silence? For her to need to be reassured that she is physically attractive to him in some way? That he's not just settling for her and her non-perky tits because she's willing to have sex with him? For her to need to hear that he thinks she's pretty? Alternatively, would you think it is reasonable for her to think that comment was so insensitive that he doesn't deserve to have sex with her? Or do you think the only mature response would be continuing with the play and regarding the comment as no big deal because she has accepted her saggy tits as one of her physical flaws?
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I ran across this in my surfing. Do you think that the management had the obligation to notify the soccer parents? Why or Why not? Swingers' party at hotel angers soccer parents - US news - Life | NBC News -
Yep, intimidating. Not to ME, mind you, but to a lot of straight girls. Contrary to popular belief amongst males, not all girls are bi or bi-curious. Sorry guys. A lot of straight women I know are afraid of swing clubs because of the high interest in FF action. They worry because they think it'll be expected of them. I've never seen a girl get pressured into a girl on girl session at a club, but I do know girls that kinda said they were bi because of peer pressure. If a girl is totally straight, that's fine with me. I hope that no woman is afraid of admitting she is not into other women for fear of being looked down upon. Be honest and truthful, for here is a man who would have sex with you ANYWAY! jk. But seriously, you know what I mean. I hate to think that some women have to lie and feel intimidated because of the bi thing and should see that there are just as many women who are straight and happy that way. That's all I have to say about that.
