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Showing results for tags 'boundaries'.
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A post by themariner got me thinking about another scenario. Would you kiss your wife after she made another man or men cum while she was sucking him/them? Just after? A day after? A week after?- 109 replies
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New here. Just wondering how many of you out there swallow when you are with another partner?
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Just curious about something. There have been several posts recently about things that come up during sex that were never discussed before sexual contact: kissing, bisexuality, anal, etc. I wondered how many times most people meet before having sex and how much time is spent previous to that in discussing sexual fantasies, likes/dislikes and the rules of the first sexual encounter. The poll is only the first part of this question. I'd just like to know how many couples and singles engage in some sort of sexual activity on the first meeting. In the thread, I'd appreciate any comments regarding pre-swing preparation with regards to communication between all parties involved. So what is it? Do you get right down to business and hope everything works out or is there a rigorous screening/boundary-setting process. My inquiring mind wants to know. T.H.
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My wife isn't into oral in general, she'd rather use her hand or feet. Would her not performing oral or no wanting oral on herself an issue for getting into the LS community?
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My wife and I are contemplating swinging. I really enjoy performing anilingus and cunilingus on my wife, and I would be willing to do both on other women. I am wondering if these practices are accepted within the swinging lifestyle.
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Ok, this came up in another topic, so I thought I'd post a poll here and ask. If your partner asked you to do something because it would turn them on to see it, would you do it just for them? Even if it was something that you had no interest in or that perhaps even repulsed you? For instance, if you are straight would you engage in bisexual activities to please your partner (because they wanted to see it)? This can apply to anything not just bisexual activities, the one example John used was having his wife get gangbanged by a group of midgets so that he could watch. Vote in the poll then tell us how far you would be willing to go JUST to please your partner. -
What sex acts do you consider to be "reserved" for your significant other and/or very very special friends? You could vote for multiple items on the poll! -
As long as she swallows/spits it out then I'm fine with kissing her. -
I've been noticing that full-swap play seems to be what is most common in this community. I'm not surprised by that but a little worried maybe. My husband and I have been talking more and more about actually making my longstanding voyeur/exhibitionist fantasies come true. For me, it's mostly about watching and being watched. Though we have discussed some grey areas where fondling/stroking and mutual masturbation would be enjoyable, full swapping just isn't the plan for us. Would we be rather unpopular at clubs? Do the folks that enjoy the full experience ignore anything less? Surely it'd be assumed we were there for the full swap; what kind of reaction could we expect once we let on what our interests are? -
Understanding nothing is expected or necessary when swinging with a new couple knowing there is no normal just exploration we were wondering what others do. We have very limited experiences with experienced couples. We had full sex with the others that mimicked the sex we have alone. Oral sex is very much part of our everyday sex and our new partners were now part of that. Mutual oral sex or 69 was the first sexual acts for both of us. What wasn’t planned wife-wife oral sex, it happened with both friends we have been with. How common is same sex play? It is a total no for me and I know my wife was unprepared for it. I read about all the women who love it and is part of all their play but how common is it? Do most women do it or is it just on here that it seems every woman does it?
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My husband and I have always been very open and honest with each other about everything. We're not swingers but we did play around once with another couple many years ago. Anyway, my husband thought it would be fun to give me a hall pass to use with one guy. He didn't know I already had a guy in mind when I planted the idea in his head! I workout 1-2 hours a day 4-5 days a week at a gym down the street. There's a really cute trainer there... he's muscular, tan, handsome, so hot! We had been flirting for a few months so the sexual tension really built up. We started sleeping together a bit over a week ago and I've been with him 8 out of the last 11 days now. I can't describe how hot the sex is - my whole body is in complete ecstasy - didn't even know sex could be that intense or pleasurable. The fourth night we made love he gave me the most intense orgasm I've ever experienced. And the night after that he fucked me for nearly three hours straight...100% of his attention on making me cum as many times as possible. I can usually climax 3-4 times in a good session with my husband. My record was nine. Well, let's just say that after three hours of the most amazing sex I've ever had in my life, he had succeeded in making me cum 21 times. I'm pretty sure that record will never be beat with me! On top of the incredible sex, he is a really cool guy and he's a blast to hang out with. He's funny, considerate, smart, sweet, etc. So in addition to the awesome sex I'm getting the full "boyfriend" experience...holding hands, snuggling, making out, cuddling all night, etc... which I totally love! So how honest should I be with my husband about the extent of the fun I'm having....without getting my hall pass revoked?! I mean, just the thought of this guy touching me makes my pussy dripping wet and my heart beat faster. Should I tell my husband how many times I came? Am I having way too much fun for a married woman or is this what a hall pass is all about? I'd love to keep fucking this guy as long as possible!!
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Wife met a nice man about 6 weeks ago. They hit it off very well but since then he has become very demanding of my wife. They go to concerts together and nice restaurants and they have a ball. However, his new rules are " When they are together I am not to text her or call her while she is with him "And" I am not to go into any restaurant or bar if I see my car in the parking lot...( Note we live in the same neighborhood and go to the same places to hang out ) Wife says he gets upset when I text her or calls. So last week end I drove by my favorite bar and there is my car in the parking lot( We have two cars but they are mine ) so I parked and went into the club. He had a fit!! Wife was upset. Wife said "Get out Get out my boyfriend does not like you here so get out"...He just sat there refusing to look at me or be friendly. Wife again says "Get the fuck out of here he does not want you around"! I said "I've been coming here for 26 years and I am not leaving" so I was polite to her boyfriend and said "Nice to see you" and I went to the end of the bar and had a nice drink. The wife and boyfriend left in 45 minutes and I didn't see my wife until 6 in the morning. Then they went to a concert and a day and a half later she comes home all upset. He want to have sex with her but he put his foot down "I do not want to be friends with your husband and he must never ever contact you when you are with me"..He then went on to say he hates our life style and says she is treated like a whore by all our friends and he is going to not deal with me ( The husband ) or our other friends at the bar. ( There are other people like us ) Again he told her "Tell your husband to never ever approach us when we are together because when you are with me you belong to me"..Wife is worried about him...He tried to kill himself a few years ago and another time got super drunk and hurt someone...He did time and was not allowed to drink during probation... Now he uses my car, Credit cards, ( To make reservations ) and never drives my wife anywhere. Wife likes him and he is good to her but when they are together I am treated like dirt. Wife comes home and cries because she is ashamed by treating me terrible when she is with him. ( You know the...Get out!! Get out!! He doesn't want you here...That type of thing ) Lol...What a situation I am in.
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Hi out there. I’m married and in an evolving relationship. Last year I did a burlesque photo shoot for him as a gift. He loved the way it turned out but asked if I’d be willing to do something more risqué in the future. I got a reference from the original photographer (female) and told my husband the new photographer would be a male. Being the protective husband he is we both requested a meeting over a cup of coffee. We met which was great and made things all the more comfortable. I loved what I saw from his book and my husband did as well. We had the shoot and the pictures came out great. He got really turned on by knowing another guy was doing the pictures. I was shocked. I asked him if he’d consider doing a couples shoot with me and he said he’d try but was reluctant. Pretty soon after he agreed and we were off again. Prior to the shoot my husband and the photographer talked about his career. My husband, who’s faithful, shocked me a bit with his envy and open talk about what the photographer experienced. I’m extremely open and joined in the conversation. Both of us felt like we were conversing with someone we really liked and knew a lot longer than we actually did. Unfortunately my husband had difficulties getting hard which is completely out of the ordinary. The photographer said it happened a lot and just to relax. Surprisingly at my husband's request he asked for me to do a POV shoot the photographer showed us in his book. Basically it’s the photographer including himself in various ways while taking the pictures. As we started taking the pictures I liked being touched by the photographer even though it wasn’t active foreplay or sex. It really was strictly for the pictures themselves. During the pictures my husband quickly got hard and watched. Eventually the photographer asked him if he was going to get involved. The rest of the shoot went as we planned. Afterwards we all sat around and talked and went through the pictures. Some time passed again and we talked a lot about the fun we had with it. My husband admitted he liked watching the photographer touch me and if not for that he may have been to nervous to get hard. I really want this to develop further but I’m apprehensive because it’s a major change in life obviously. I’m also not sure about how I feel about seeing him with someone else. When I say I’m not sure I mean most likely not. I don’t even really think he wants to. I almost feel like if I bring that up it will be too much too fast. Multiple times when having sex we’ve dirty talked about me doing another shoot and giving myself up. I’d feel more comfortable to actually do it than talk about it. I feel like my husband has opened a door that I want to walk into. Am I reading it wrong? Is it best for me to just set something else up and let it work itself the way it will? Based on our interactions I have no doubt the photographer would be into it also. Would I be going to far given our relationship if I reached out to the him and told him how I feel, how my husband feels, and confirm he’d say yes?
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Most couples know each other’s sexual limits with each other very well and respect them even while participating in the lifestyle. Sometimes the couples’ limits are established overtime by personal comfort norms. They settle because the spouses are not agreeable or don’t reach the point of stepping beyond and breaking out. The lifestyle offers an opportunity that may excite a spouse to venture beyond the comfort of their relationship with their spouse. Is there a point where you have gone beyond where you go with your spouse? How would you feel about it if you were told by your spouse that they did? I know it should be discussed but did you decide not to bring it up and elected to keep it your secret? Would you go there again?
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I'm curious as to how many of us have learned THE HARD WAY that it's not a good idea to swing with co-workers. And also, if there are folks here who don't think it's a bad idea, why do you feel that way (have you swung with a co-worker and had it turn out well or have you not done so yet to see the outcome?).
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There is presently a thread in the Swinging at Home and Houseparties forum that asks about sharing an overnight bed with somebody other than your spouse. My thought is that a person need not view himself or herself as being in an open marriage to do this. But how about people who would classify as an Open Marriage couple? Here's a question. Are you OK with your spouse or significant-other spending a night, or even multiple nights, with a swing acquaintance? Not a swap. While your spouse is out, you're left at your own devices to find your own diversions or fun. What do y'all think?
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We have been playing with a couple for about five years on and off. We see them at our club, at some resorts and at local house parties. Wherever we are, she always seeks out my husband. We have all been together many times and I enjoy her husband very much, but for my husband and I, it’s literally just sex. She is very different with my husband lately than with her other partners. I believe she has fallen for him. When I see them together, she is very passionate and attentive to him in ways that I don’t see when she’s with other men. My husband rolls with it and is always a pleaser. We don’t want to make things uncomfortable or lose their friendship, but we are getting uncomfortable with the notion that she may be interested in a deeper relationship than we have experienced with other partners. Should we just go with it? I’m not sure I can handle sharing him that way and I don’t think he’s interested in that type of relationship either. Thoughts about when the sex leads to something more? -
A lot of the threads in the Polyamory & Swinging forum focus on the difficulties (or lack of difficulties in some cases) that come with swinging in a poly relationship. So, whether you are poly, understand poly, or are completely new to the concept of poly, would you as a swinger play with people in a poly relationship? Please explain which option you chose and why you answered the way that you did. If you answer no, is it because it is too complicated of a situation? Or do you prefer to keep the number of people involved lower? Or are you afraid that poly swingers are more likely to get emotionally involved (something that is generally frowned upon)? Or something else entirely?
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Once again thank you all for the sage advice that you have given me over the last two years. I appreciate it and I always take time to read through the boards and learn as much as I can. So let me catch you up on where my wife and I are at now. We are in an open marriage having transitioned from swinging due to the fact of that we were having just no luck finding that elusive four-way match with couples. Single guys in the area around us tend to be plentiful, but single females/unicorns of course still tend to be extremely rare. So we decided to transition to an open marriage and for us to play separately. We still share our experiences regularly and still discuss and communicate thoroughly before and afterwards. My wife currently has a boyfriend that she enjoys time with and she also has a irregular play partner she sees once a month. So today’s discussion is about me: I am currently in a, well I don’t know if I should define it as a “relationship“, with a female that started out originally trying to be a unicorn with us (the wife and I), but that didn’t work out as my wife and her personalities are total opposites. So I decided to try and pursue a relationship just with her as a possible girlfriend. We’ve been seeing each other on and off twice a week for the last couple months before the covid hit and now stay in touch via text and have started to see each other again as of last week. Our relationship if you wanna call it that seems to be taking a change and I don’t quite understand why… before the covid hit we were able to spend time together, be intimate physically, and go out on the occasional lunch or and or dinner date. But lately it seems that each time I am engaging her, she brings up a financial need: last week she needed to get a new pair of shoes, this week she has major work needing to be done on her car. I sent her links as far as where there were some good shoe sales, thinking I would be helpful that way. I gave her recommendations for two mechanics that I trust and thought that would also be helpful as well. But, that doesn’t seem to be good enough. Yesterday she asked me if I thought that my being a good boyfriend meant that I shouldn’t occasionally treat her to nice things. She also mentioned this morning that if I was in a situation where I needed help with my automobile she’d be willing to do what she could financially. But, that doesn’t seem to be good enough. Yesterday she asked me if I thought that my being a good boyfriend meant that I shouldn’t occasionally treat her to nice things. She also mentioned this morning that if I was in a situation where I needed help with my automobile she’d be willing to do what she could financially. So it just seems as if that she’s trying to get our relationship to cross a certain line. Now for the record, I have no problem paying for drinks if we go out, and I don’t mind either going dutch on lunch, or dinner, or one takes care of one, one takes care of the other. So am I wrong in thinking that, making financial supportive moves like giving her money for new shoes, or giving her money towards her car repair, might be too big of a step...? I could see maybe a loan....But when I floated that idea her response was “how about I not loan you any p****y?” and to me, as shocking as that seemed, I was like is this what we’ve done, moved to a “pay for play” situation...? I’m scratching my head trying to wrap my head around this. I mean she has a man, who lives and works out of state. So to me, that means she has a significant other, like i do. So he should be handling those major responsibilities like that. Any advice I’d gladly appreciate. But it seems to me like if we are moving in this direction, it’s time for me to move on, because that’s not what I’m looking for. -
My wife and I have been in the swinging lifestyle about a year and a half now and it's been great. We have a friend we've know about a year and after a little encouragement from me and the wife she agreed to play with me. She's not comfortable playing with my wife home yet, so we always plan it when she's out. I think it may be going too far, though. We've gone out to dinner twice, alone, which my wife has told me no more. We talk almost everyday, hike and do stuff like that. I'm afraid this is becoming more than the FWB situation we agreed on. -
20 years married and the lifestyle hasn’t been brought up. Wife wants a cruise and I brought up the adult and she thought about for a couple weeks and said yes but only soft swap I think you would call it? Said she would probably do oral and touching for us both. My question would this go over well in the community?
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I'm new to swinging but my boyfriend has been in the lifestyle for many years. He has a group of friends that's in the lifestyle but he had never played with them. We all had plans to go to a club and then back to a house to play, this was going to be my first experience. Me and my partner had agreed to only soft play as I was on my period (he showed me the text where he told everyone we would only be soft playing) so we decided to take E which he can not get hard on (he only can when it's just me and him privately) One of the guys approached me for sex and I didn't say no, we had sex twice that night with my partner watching both times. He was not able to have sex with any one because of the drug. When we got home we were able to have sex for hours. The next night we went to a club and I made out with a girl multiple times with him there but him not joining in. We had a quick session in club just me and him and then continued at home just us the rest of the night. I knew the weekend didn't go how he had hoped as he didn't not get to fully play with others. For weeks after he'd randomly mention that I "sabotaged" him that night by us taking E. Well it all came to blows the other night when he told me how upset he was that I broke our agreement to soft play only and by me having sex with somebody made him look like cuckold, which his is by no means, he's extremely dominant. And then told me how upset he was about me making out with the girl at the club because I was ignoring him. He said he had been casually bringing it up the past few weeks in hopes that I would figure out what I had did wrong and apologize. I got very defensive and tried to defend my actions, because Id never do anything to purposefuly hurt him and as it turns out the order of how things happened in my mind is not the order they actually happened. He told me that in 20 years of swinging he's never been made to feel like that and he's not sure if he even wants to anymore. I'm upset with myself because it never dawned on me that I had broken our soft play agreement or that making out with a girl in front of him would be rude. I'm struggling to understand why I didn't stop things at the after-party (I wasn't even attracted to the guy) and with hurting him so much. He said he knows I didn't intentionally set out to hurt him, but I know now my actions did and I don't know how to process all of this or understand why it never occurred to me that I had broken our agreement and that my actions at the club were rude and made him feel left out
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Hello to all members that read this message and sorry for my english. Me and my wife are a young married couple for 10 years (Been together almost 15). We are happily married and our sexual life is great every year more. A year ago I came out with the idea of watch my wife being fuck from another men. At that time she reply to me with a big NO but when having sex I tend to mention how good will be if other guy were there fucking her and notice she get even more wet when I mentioned that. To short the story... Last month we finally agreed to visit a swinger Club. As newbies, we were nervous and I did not expect to do more than simply watch and enjoy that time. We agreed to go to the playroom were everybody was naked and we ended up fucking each other and having a blast. When we got home we continue two more times as we were super excited. We went one more time after a week to the club but only enjoying ourselves. Two days ago we went again to the club and she seems more relaxed, I told her that day was for couples and single males (always there will be more single males off course), and I proposed her if the opportunity came and she feel good, we could try the fantasy I have of watching here being fucked by another guy. She told me that it might happen. That turned me on a lot! When we got there we got a couple of drinks, not too much, and then we were straight to the action area. Most of the crowd were too old for us, we are in our 32 (me) 31 (she). I spotted a young guy, older than me but he looks good and clean, and commented to her and she said he was OK. The guy seems to be with his partner (which I knew she was not, later I figure out and his partner confess me they were only friends with benefits). The guy started looking at my wife several times and we notice it. I started to talk to my wife to be relaxed and enjoy the moment. After a short while I told my wife I will go to the bar to get us some drink so she relax a little more and in the meantime I suggest her to approach the couple and start talking a little bit. It took like 10 minutes for me to get the drink due to the lines. When I returned, my wife was not in the same place I left her. I started to look for her and when I found her I was shocked. She was seated in a couch with the guy in front of her sucking his dick. I went there and did not wanted to screw the moment. The guy asked me to fuck his partner which I did not want because I did not find her attractive, I just touched her a little bit and told her I just want to watch my wife being fucked by her partner and be happy. After a while of my wife sucking his dick we all were to a open room where he fucked her in doggy position, that turned me on so much that I went in front of her and she began to make me oral. After a while my wife told the guy to continue with his girl but the guy wanted more and more. She just stepped in and told him that was all. Out of the room I asked her if she enjoyed the moment and she reply yes. But then she noticed I was not feeling ok and asked me what happened? I could not control myself and told her the truth, I was not feeling right the way things happened. I explained her that I did not find correct she started without me, which I think was disrespectful from the guy too. That I should be present at the moment all begin. She told me that the guy just walked towards her and open the towel to show his dick to her and she ASKED his partner if she was ok and then started to suck the guy's dick. So she asked for permission. Would it be wise to wait for me and also asked me if I feel comfortable with her doing oral to that guy (also without condom) a guy we don't know? She told me she was sorry and she did not think about that in that moment because she lets her go by the hot situation. Well that ended up screwing my night and I feel bad because I would not act the same way if the situation was the other way, me doing something without she present. I told her it was fine and all that happened because we did not communicate enough on the limits. But I don't think that limit have to be explained to her, it is just common sense. Now I feel terrible, because even I enjoy watching her, I can't her out of my mind the scene of getting there and see her doing that without my consent. Thanks everybody for reading all this and I hope to find any advice on how to overcome this thing that makes me feel bad even to have sex now with her. -
Besides the trying to get a feel for someone based on what their occupation is, which is sometimes accurate, sometimes not, are there any occupations that if someone does that for a living, you flat out wouldn't swing with them? Cop? Divorce attorney? Minister or rabbi? Mortician? What is it about some occupations that would either turn you off or else make you so skittish you would just take a pass instead of running the risk of your worst fears coming true?
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Very happily married over 20 years. Started in the lifestyle about 2 years ago. We’ve met some great people and have enjoyed all of our experiences. We have a great sex life and a great marriage. We love spending time together and we have a great sex life as well. So what’s the problem? There is a show I have been dying to see out of town. It requires a plane ride and a night or 2 in a hotel. Due to work schedules, my wife can’t go. I asked a few friends but to no avail. We have one couple that we’ve known for about a year. We get together with them about once a month fir dinner or whatever and playtime. Wife suggested that I ask them to go with me. We talked about the possibility of her being able to go and him not being able due to work. So I asked and sure enough he said he couldn’t but she would love to go. My wife was ok with that as was her husband. Now, we have never played alone, only as a foursome. We also never communicate privately, everything is in a group chat for all to see. There are no secrets. I should also say that my wife really likes her and respects her and really enjoys her company. Well the minute I booked the flights, my wife’s demeanor changed. We talked and she basically said she needed time to process it. She was a little distant towards me for a couple of days. I didn’t bring it up again for about a week. We talked some more and I told her, it’s not that important to me and I wanted to cancel the whole thing if it upset her. That actually made her mad and she said she doesn’t want me to cancel and she’s fine. I feel like she now thinks she’s backed into a corner. I feel I am backed into a corner as well. The concert isn’t till June so I have time to decide. I want to go but not if it upsets my wife. On a side note, my wife has played alone a couple of times, I have not. She also has never done an overnight. It’s now been a little over 2 weeks since the flights have been booked. Wife has been in a great mood, very loving towards me and all seems back to normal. She has even chatted with the other girl a little and it’s been very sexy and playful, but no mention of the trip. She now really seems ok with the whole thing. I plan on revisiting the convo next week. The trip itself would be a lot of fun, but the last thing in the world I want is to upset my wife. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
