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Showing results for tags 'betrayed'.
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Hello everyone. I'm new to the board, but not the lifestyle. My hubby and I have been swinging off and on for about 10 years. It has always been a wonderful experience for both of us. That is until now. We have always had our rules firmly put down, and neither of us broke any of them. Not even stretched them to be honest. You know, same room, full swap okay, singles okay...yadda yadda yadda. For us absolutely no secrecy. Always together and involved. Unfortunately this has now changed. A couple of weeks ago my husband made a huge mistake with a girlfriend of mine that we had had some fun with numerous times before. Now, we have taken a break from male partners or couples because we are/were trying to add to our family. I did become pregnant, but unfortunately lost the pregnancy at just shy of 6 weeks. The miscarriage happened on Monday two weeks ago. My girlfriend came over to hold my hand while I cried and to let me blather on and try to feel better. That night we were sitting on our bed and I had another good cry with my hubby and girlfriend present. I had taken a RX pain pill and it knocked me out after that. We're talking a tornado couldn't have woken me! Unfortunately sometime around 2am my husband and my girlfriend had sex in my bed with me out like a light. To make matters worse, no condom was used and she was ovulating. Now, we also have the condom rule in our swinging (before anyone asks). The next morning I actually said thank you to my hubby for understanding my feelings and not doing anything last night. How foolish I feel right now!!! Honestly, I did make myself very clear where I stood as far as fun went, especially on that particular night considering what had happened. My husband didn't bother to say anything to me about his activities. Three days went by and I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. She told me like it was some big joke. The "oh gee..hahaha...I thought he would have had sense enough to pull out". I asked her to please clarify what she was telling me. She did and I was completely stunned. So much so that I actually fell down. So not only did they have no regard for my feelings about losing the baby, they risked her becoming pregnant. I have no idea how I am supposed to feel right now. Sometimes I think I'm okay and can get through this. Other times I want to scream. You see, the reason we are having such a difficult time having a baby is because I am a cancer survivor. It's a miracle I was able to become pregnant in the first place. I guess I felt the loss more than he did. Her period is due this week. If she is expecting, I think I might actually go crazy. Please help me...someone...anyone! I don't care if you have to tell me to do a back-bend and say Buddhist chants. I will take any and all advice to heart. Thanks in advance and I'm sorry this is so darn long. -
I'm new to swinging but my boyfriend has been in the lifestyle for many years. He has a group of friends that's in the lifestyle but he had never played with them. We all had plans to go to a club and then back to a house to play, this was going to be my first experience. Me and my partner had agreed to only soft play as I was on my period (he showed me the text where he told everyone we would only be soft playing) so we decided to take E which he can not get hard on (he only can when it's just me and him privately) One of the guys approached me for sex and I didn't say no, we had sex twice that night with my partner watching both times. He was not able to have sex with any one because of the drug. When we got home we were able to have sex for hours. The next night we went to a club and I made out with a girl multiple times with him there but him not joining in. We had a quick session in club just me and him and then continued at home just us the rest of the night. I knew the weekend didn't go how he had hoped as he didn't not get to fully play with others. For weeks after he'd randomly mention that I "sabotaged" him that night by us taking E. Well it all came to blows the other night when he told me how upset he was that I broke our agreement to soft play only and by me having sex with somebody made him look like cuckold, which his is by no means, he's extremely dominant. And then told me how upset he was about me making out with the girl at the club because I was ignoring him. He said he had been casually bringing it up the past few weeks in hopes that I would figure out what I had did wrong and apologize. I got very defensive and tried to defend my actions, because Id never do anything to purposefuly hurt him and as it turns out the order of how things happened in my mind is not the order they actually happened. He told me that in 20 years of swinging he's never been made to feel like that and he's not sure if he even wants to anymore. I'm upset with myself because it never dawned on me that I had broken our soft play agreement or that making out with a girl in front of him would be rude. I'm struggling to understand why I didn't stop things at the after-party (I wasn't even attracted to the guy) and with hurting him so much. He said he knows I didn't intentionally set out to hurt him, but I know now my actions did and I don't know how to process all of this or understand why it never occurred to me that I had broken our agreement and that my actions at the club were rude and made him feel left out
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We are not new to swinging but the other night brought to us a situation I never expected. We went to a club this past weekend and I thought we had a blast. While there he hooked up with the wife of a couple we knew pretty well. She doesn't play with women and I understand that. Long story short the two of them went off and had their moment. I have no problems with the events of the night at all. I do have a problem with the fact that he promised to make sure I had mine that evening as well. That was the agreement. He is totally ignoring me. Won't engage or touch me sensually or sexually at all. He actually being distant and mean. I'm worried something happened. I don't like this feeling. He's never made me feel this way before. He's breaking our number one rule of communication. I'm dying inside and feel so betrayed.
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