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Showing results for tags 'married playing single'.
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I am ranting. I have tried a different site, Feeld. Chatted with a “single male”. He wanted to be sure I understood the “lifestyle.” Yes. After a fair bit of chatting we decided to meet halfway, a little over a 30 minute drive for me. Brief introductions were exchanged and we started talking lifestyle experiences. I asked if he found it challenging as a single male. Then he said he needed to “clarify” so there wouldn’t be any “expectations.” Yes he is married but his wife is blind and they didn’t talk much about his outside activities but she is aware. I needed to clarify if this meant she would be upset by what he was doing. Yes. That’s cheating in my book and I left. My mistake was not confirming his status. I don't have a problem if the other partner is fine with it and have enjoyed meeting the other half in the past. His actions are not ENM at all. He sent some message how everything isn’t black and white. I doubt the wife is so blind she can’t see what an asshole he is. The excuse itself is offensive. I flagged his profile as fake because it is. Some people are okay with cheaters but I am not, won’t knowingly hurt someone else.
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Hi all. I've been married to my husband for 4 years. He recently shared with me he wanted to get back into the lifestyle. He had been in it years ago. I wasn't very open about it when he 1st brought it up mostly because I didn't really understand what was happening or anything about the lifestyle and frankly our sex life sucked so I just assumed he was looking for ways of sleeping with someone because he didn't find me attractive or desirable. A few weeks ago he told me he has been in a lifestyle group for about 6 months and ended up attending a party. At first he said he said he didn't play but then it came out he did sleep with someone at the party. This led me to feel utterly betrayed. I knew I didn't want a divorce and wanted to work through this. We've been seeing a counselor and our relationship is getting stronger by the day. And our sex life is totally different. It went from me basically begging for it and not getting any for months to him finally initiating it daily and letting me truly be free and it's been amazing. He's being 100% honest with me about his feelings on multiple levels. I ended up joining the chat group. I wanted to get to know all these people he really likes and there are aspects of this I've always fantasied about. I've always wanted to be in a threesome with men and women. I also love showing my body off and being told by strangers how sexy I am. So after 2 weeks of dealing with this I said I was in for giving this a try and we committed to going to a upcoming event mostly a meet and greet only. I have mixed emotions about this because the women he slept with will be there. He knows im very scared to meet her and when I said she deserves to know that I had no idea about that night he said he can't share that with her. I learned the group had no idea I wasn't part of this lifestyle that he hadn't been honest with the group or this woman. And to tell her he didn't have permission to play or that I had no idea about this side would basically black list him and he really likes this group of people a lot. The fear of him losing this group of people was as great as losing me. so here I am like a new born baby going into this with people who think I've been doing this forever and seeing a women my husband slept with. I'm so scared and have no one to speak with about it. I'm terrified what will happen when I see the gal he slept with. I'm really struggling with the though of him wanting to sleep with her again plus a lot of other things. I'm so scared because I'm a baby about to attend a party where everyone thinks I've been part of this.. what if I get jealous, what if I can't handle seeing him make out with people. I feel lost and confused. Any advice to help settle my nerves would be awesome. Thanks.
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On SLS, vanilla sites, and everyday life I have come across married men pretending they are single. Often I can filter these guys out quickly but looking for tips from others. I like to be sure I am having honest fun.
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I've been married playing single for awhile. My wife doesn't know. It surprises me the hatred that simple statement generates in swinger circles. I just say it up front so if it's an issue we can all move on without the drama. And drama it is. The female of the couples generally have no problem telling me what a piece of shit I am. I had a mistress, also married, and would swing as a couple. We were great swingers but we had to keep our secret. When a few people found out, they were mad at her for lying and mad at me for being an asshole piece of shit cheating husband. There is a double standard.
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I wander if you can give me any advice. The situation is as follows: We are a couple. She is not interested in swinging. If anything, she feels that she is a polyamorous type and would rather have a close stable friend and lover, although right now she is not actively seeking. She is letting me "look around" subject to her knowing and some safety rules. I have checked a couple of sites but have not put too much effort in it due too other things to worry about. Our situation is similar to that of Little Firefly's family except that I have not played before and that we don't go clubs. My question is: There are too many vanilla dating sites like Plentyofish or OKcupid where it is full of single people and no one would hardly care to meet a married guy who also has duties at home. At the same time, the swinging-related sites have the single males a dime a dozen and get one free. So, what do half couples who are not into threesomes do?
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I was at a convention in Phoenix eight years ago. Since the wife wasn't with me I decided to see if I could have some fun. The kind of fun she had made clear she didn't want to have. I looked in the local free paper and found swinger's clubs. I had never been in one, but had fantasized about it. I decided to try one called Encounters. I wasn't sure a single guy could get in, but they gladly took my $35 and soon I was walking into my own personal fantasy world. There was a large room with people sitting around sipping soda, eating crackers and talking. Way off in a corner was a large crowd. I decided to go see what was happening. Just before I got there a woman stood up. She had no top on and as she walked toward me I could see cum all over her face and flowing down her neck. She walked past and to a restroom to clean up. She had just sucked off a black guy who was seated, his cock limp. The crowd was starting to disperse. Since I had missed the action there, I decide to look around. I saw nothing on the ground floor. Some people were playing pool, others just talking. I went upstairs to the private and non-private rooms. Several rooms had people in them, but the blinds were pulled down. A bit discouraged, I walked downstairs and thought about which club I would try next. As I was headed to the front door I noticed a small room to my right. There was definitely something going on in there. The room was probably ten feet wide and fifteen feet long. There were two couches set at right angles to each other along the short and long walls. A man was seated with his pants around his ankles. A woman was kneeling on the floor in front of him sucking his cock. She had no panties on, her short skirt pulled above her waist and her top pulled under her tits. At the far end of the room were two men sitting in chairs watching and jacking on their cocks. I thought they were kind of cowardly. I sat on the empty couch as close to the couple on the other couch as I could get without actually touching them. I pulled my cock out of my pants, my balls out too and started to stroke my cock as I watched her mouth go up and down. After a while her eyes darted over to me and I smiled as I stroked. She smiled back at me, that smile sliding up and down his cock. Seconds later she reached up her hand to the chest of the man she was sucking. Her eyes were on mine while she did that. He looked at me and said, "My wife wants to suck your cock." I smiled broadly and said I would love to have your wife suck my cock. I watched her smile slide off his prick. She moved on her knees over to me and moved between my knees. She held my prick and moved that smile down my shaft. While she was doing that, I put my hands in her short curly hair and told her what a great cock sucker she was. She smiled again. I told her that I really liked her tits. Then told her I was thinking that her cunt was really wet. She smiled again at that. I said that I would really like to fuck her. By this time there were many more people watching. I didn't count, but there had to be twenty people squeezed along the walls and on the floor in front of the two guys on the chairs. The woman continued to suck my cock as her hand reached to her husband's chest. He said "My wife wants you to fuck her." I told him I would LOVE to fuck his wife. He asked if I wanted to fuck her in the room where we were, or would I prefer to go upstairs to a private room. I looked at her face as she sucked and waited for the answer. Then I looked around the room at all the people watching and said, "I would hate to disappoint the audience. I'll fuck her right here." You could hear some sighs when I said that. He told me that I would have to use a condom. I replied that I didn't expect anything like this because it was my first time ever in a club. The husband asked if anyone had a condom for the stud. About three flew immediately toward us. There was laughter. I stood up then and slid off my loafers and peeled off my socks. My zipper was already down, so I just unbuckled my belt and my pants fell to the floor. I kicked them to the side. I left my denim shirt on, but unbuttoned so that she and they could see my hairy chest. I slid a condom onto my cock. The wife leaned back against the seat of the couch looking up at me. She said her first words. "How do you want me stud?". I told her to get up on the couch on her hands and knees with her head toward the back of the couch. She did that and looked over her shoulder at me and asked, "Like this stud?" I said yes that was good but told her to move her knees a little farther apart. She did that and looking over her shoulder again asked again, "Like this stud?" I told her she was perfect. I moved in behind her and slid the head of my cock into her cunt. That was all. I didn't move, just had it inside. After a few seconds she looked over her shoulder she said, "Hey stud, don't tease me...fuck me." I replied with a question, "Fuck you?" She yelled out "FUCK ME". That was what I was waiting for. Pulling back hard on her hips I thrust all the way into her in one hard stroke. A sound like whoof came from her lips. I pounded her hard, then looked around the room at the audience. Most of the people were masturbating. My favorite was a woman on her knees near the doorway. She had her skirt lifted and two fingers in her cunt. She smiled at me when I looked at her. I smiled back. Looking back at the woman I was fucking I suddenly stopped. Looking over her shoulder she asked, "are you done already stud?" I told her no. I said "I want to see your face while I fuck you. I want to watch you cum. Get on your back and spread your legs." I was surprised at how quickly she moved. I moved down on my knees and went forward. "Hold your cunt lips open," I said. She complied. I slid the tip of my cock into her open pussy and slid it slowly, slowly, slowly all the way up inside of her. I reached forward and took her hard nipples in my fingers, pulling and twisting them. Her hips were rising up to meet my thrusts. I moved my right hand from her nipple and slid it slowly down her rib cage, down her belly, to her clit. With my thumb I pressed her clit against my shaft as I fucked her. That did it for her. Her breathing became more erratic than it had been and soon I felt her cunt muscles squeezing my shaft as she came. I kept move at a steady pace for her...a pace that was plenty fast. Her inner muscles were still squeezing me when my cock erupted inside of her. I leaned back then and quickly pulled the condom off my cock and threw it into a waste basket by the door. That was the only time I have ever been to a swinger's club. My wife isn't into that at all, and I never told her about it. I would love to talk to the couple about it.
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Hello all. It's been a while since I posted last, but I've been around, just reading the forums and gathering some great information that has been tremendously helpful. Now, I find myself looking for some input and I know you guys are a wealth of info. I apologize for the long post. My wife and I have a good sex life. It's pretty vanilla, but getting more and more adventurous all the time. We've been together for 10 years, but it's only in the last two years that I really began to express the full depth of my needs and desires to her. We then began to discover that, sexually speaking, we're a bit mis-matched. I have a very high sex drive and a deep interest in pushing my boundaries. She likes sex, but doesn't desire it nearly as often as I do and is much more reserved. Fortunately, however, she's very open-minded and we've been able to have a lot of conversations about this. I started being much more up-front with her about how often I wanted to have sex and about things I would like to try. I told her about my porn collection and daily masturbation habits. And I told her of my interest in the lifestyle. None of this stuff shocked her and she's been embracing some of it. We now frequently watch porn together and have started bringing more toys into our sex. She even agreed to go to a nude lifestyle resort with me so long as I promised that there would be no pressure for her to do anything other than lay out by the pool. By all rights, she's been very accommodating and our sex life has improved significantly. This past Saturday morning, we were drinking coffee and having a great conversation about the sex we had had the night before. We had tried something new, but there also had been a couple of things that I wanted to try that she was not interested in. Regarding this, she said she thinks it would be good if I could go out and do those things with other girls. She explained that she knows I love her and that sex and love are different things and that I am always honest with her. She said she knows I have a much higher sex drive than she does and that if I could go out and get some of my needs met by others, that it would take a lot of pressure off of her to be something that she's not. "There are just some things that I'm not really into," she said. "So if you can go do them with other people, then you can get what you want and I don't have to do something I don't want to do." There was no doubt in my mind that she was being completely honest and that there was no hesitation in her voice. She wasn't just saying it. When I told her that I wouldn't want to go have "affairs" and that I'd prefer to meet people in the lifestyle. She liked that even better and suggested that she might some day be interested too. Given that she's so supportive of the idea, I feel like I'd be foolish not to explore my options in the LS. So let me ask you all the following questions: 1) Is it a red flag for couples in the LS to see a married guy playing alone if their wife is aware of the situation and is willing to verify that fact? 2) What is the best way to represent myself in an SLS profile? Obviously, my profile is single, but should I state the fact that I'm actually married in my profile or wait to tell people that until after contact is made? 3) As a married man playing alone, with no experience in the LS, am I just too bad bet for most people? Do I even stand a chance given the insane number of single men out there? Can the fact that I'm married actually be considered a good thing for some people? Any advice would be much appreciated! If you happen to look my my SLS profile, I already know that I need a photo, but any other input is very welcome. Thanks so much!!
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Hi, I've lurked through the forums here for a while but never posted anything, but now I have something I need a little help with. Last week out of the blue my wife told me that she wants me to sleep with other women, then come home and tell her about it. She also told a good friend of her's she could "borrow" me because she hasn't had any good sex in a while. My wife says it's a big turn on for her, and I can tell she's not lying. She also says she thinks it would make me less jealous. She is a pathological flirt and it gets on my nerves sometimes because I am very jealous/insecure. She's been with other men (before we were married) and she is the only woman I've ever been with. Which doesn't bother me at all, however she thinks I should be with other women because she feels like she kept me from having fun, and that it would make our sex life better. I'm not sure what to do. I would never cheat on her or hurt her so I'm apprehensive about doing something like this. I'm afraid that she will change her mind and I would come home to her angry and upset and that it would ruin our marriage. I'm also afraid that she would want the same deal, which I told her I am not ok with. Is this a typical fantasy? I would never be ok with her going out, being with another man, then coming home to me. So I sort of think it's a double standard, and that's not fair. But I told her that up front and she says she doesn't care and doesn't want to be with another man. Does it sound like fun? Yes, I have a penis so of course it sounds fun. But it's not worth ruining our good relationship over. I'm just not sure what to do, and I don't understand her desire for this sort of thing.
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My fiance and I first got into swinging last spring or summer, but didn't have any luck finding couples for us to play with; but we had also agreed that playing alone was ok- if precautions were taken- because my fiance was very concerned for my safety. We had joined a swinger's site, and recieved a message from a guy; who very quickly proved himself to be on the up and up. Him and his wife were looking for another couple, or he was also allowed to play alone. It didn't work out as far as a couple thing there either, because of the age difference; his wife was/is looking for guys closer to her own age. I had some concerns that he could be another one of these guys, trying to cheat on his wife; so I asked to talk directly to her- not actually expecting that I would get to. It's been my experience, that asking to talk directly to someone's wife; has weeded out the ones trying to cheat. So I talk to his wife on the phone, and see he's telling the truth; and we arrange to meet for breakfast. Once we met, we hit it off right away; and spent quite a while in the restaurant talking and eating, so then he wanted to go out to his car to talk. Having just met him, I was still concerned for my safety; so I suggested sitting in my car- since it didn't have automatic door locks- so that I couldn't be locked in against my will- if he was that kind of guy. So we are able to talk more intimately out in the car, without worrying about someone overhearing; and it continues to go well. One thing leads to another, and we end up kissing, and it was like WOAH, sparks flying right away! Then the next part is where I really ended up surprising myself, because it's not something I ever did upon first meeting someone. One thing leads to another again, and he is fingering me; and sucking on my breast- which just drives me over the edge! He makes me cum 4 times pretty quickly. After it's all done, I am left kind of stunned at what just happened LOL. I then feel like I should reciporcate, and offer him a blowjob; but he tells me another time- because I am feeling obligated. He invites me back to his place, but I wasn't ready for that yet; so he was very respectful- and didn't try to preasure or push- that waited until the next time. The really cool thing, is that we are still seeing each other over a year later; and have been having great fun the entire time. We also enjoy each other's company outside of the bedroom, as in sitting and talking for hours; after all the sexual fun is over. I've even gotten to meet his wife recently, and am developing a friendship with her.
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Okay, here's the thing. I'm looking for help in figuring out a good way to word my situation in profiles and/or contact e-mails, or even in conversation. See, I'm married. I make no bones about it, I wear my wedding ring even to swingers clubs. My wife and I have an open relationship, though I guess you can't really call us swingers, because we only play separately. She hates the club scene, has absolutely no interest in threesomes or couple-swapping or anything. She only plays with old friends--she has one old boyfriend she's recently reconnected with, and they've had a good time, and there are a couple other men she's talking to to see if she wants to move further. I'm totally okay with this, I send her out the door with a smile, putting the condoms in her hand and wishing her a good time, even eager to hear about it (when she's ready) when she comes home. Additionally, we have a young son, just turning two. He's an extremely intense little boy, who can go from happy to screaming enough to rattle the windows in two seconds. He gets violent, and he's very big for his age (think two year old in a four year old's body), so he's got the strength to do some damage. In other words, we can't get a sitter, so one of us needs to be with him at all times. I'm a stay at home dad right now for a reason. These two factors mean that, here I am in the swingers community, hoping for a few playmates and new experiences of my own, but looking by myself. Worst of all, I see and understand the problems many couples have with "single" guys who are actually married but cheating, so many people will automatically suspect that I am lying. I try to help this by pointing out that my wife is totally behind my search, and if anyone has interest in me, they can meet her to confirm my story before anything happens between us. But I'm looking for a good way to word all of this, some way that hopefully comes across honest, genuine, perhaps even a little funny, but above all--how can I word it so it seems neither creepy nor like a bad line? So far, struggling as I've been, the best I've come up with usually comes out something like this: "I'm married, but my wife and I play separately. I know that sounds like a cheater's line, but you can meet my wife to confirm." If I were a different sort of person, I'd just leave the ring at home and say I'm single. But that's not me, that's not who I am. What's more, with the kind of intimacy involved in what I'm hoping to eventually find, there's just no room for any dishonesty or falseness in that kind of thing. If you start out with any, it will (and deserves to) fall apart long before you get to any good result. Anyway, that's my situation. Can you help me put it well for profiles and conversations? Thanks for any help.
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I need some advice about how to break the news to my wife that I am going to enter the lifestyle. I have been married for more than 30 years I am over 55. Our sex life has never been “robust” to say the lease. After she went through menopause it got worse. It is now “conditional”. If the conditions aren’t right we don’t do. When we do, it is after 10 pm, in the dark, no oral, she is done in 15 min, me on top and I am bored. She will not talk about it, seek medical help, or take any effort to make it better. My sex drive has always been high. I had numerous affair 25 years ago, but have been faithful ever since. I will not cheat on her, but I will not stay faithful in a marriage without satisfying sex. Life is rapidly passing me by. I will not get a divorce, and want someone to tell me how to break the news that I am seeking safe couples to play with. I would love for her to join me, but little chance of that. Any help is appreciated. Thanks -
I have a difficult situation, I am really interested in swinging, I would prefer a 3 way with another man, I love the idea of my beautiful wife being with a good looking large, thick lover. When we make love she love's the idea but will go no further. I have decided to try to go it alone. I have female friends that would like to join me. My question to the experienced swingers, is how do you feel with married people swinging without their spouse.
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I was reading a post on this subject - I completely empathize with Avanti100 and want to reopen the thread "How do i get involved"... Here's my situation: My sex life is pretty good, considering that this is our 10th year of marriage. My wife says she's pretty satisfied, esp. since she's finding out that not all of her friends get to orgasm with their husbands...whereas she routinely does, with me. I've asked her in a number of ways - for the variety, for the size, for the thrill, etc. - over a period of two years, and she has made it clear that she doesn't want it. But she has made it clear, too, again, over a period of two years, that she has no problem if I want to explore my curiosity on my own, with other women. So, this essentially makes me a single male. Actually, worse - this makes me look like a "cheating" husband. But I find this completely insulting - and rather unfortunate. Here's why: 1) Everyone will have their own motives for wanting to explore partners outside of their marriage. In the same way, if someone doesn't want (e.g., my wife) anything outside, that should be fine, too... 2) Just as communication is important between swinging partners, it's equally important when one partner wants to and the other permits...perhaps, more important. And I fully realize this... 3) So, now, the problem is merely verifying if this situation is true or not - which is quite simple. If everyone is comfortable, a meeting could be arranged, and it should become clear that the married man (me, e.g.) has the wife's permission. Instead, it seems that everyone has this notion that a married man trying to find outside pleaure is somehow "cheating", and all the advice that's given follows from this assumption...It's not fair... Here's why I find this situation unfortunate: Just as my wife respects my desires and encourages me to try things outside, I feel I must respect her choice for not meeting other men for sex. If I don't, then I may have to persuade her to consider the lifestyle, so that I don't appear like a cheating husband - obviously that's not on! The swinging community folks are supposed to be trendsetters and pathbreakers in finding new ways of dealing with our pleasure urges, while keeping the family intact. The fact that they take a risk (of going against conventional morals) shows that they are willing to look at things without the burden of traditional baggage. If that is the case, then why should married men seeking pleasure outside home be looked at with suspicion? There are cheating husbands - but there are also men who have their wifes' permission... What is missing is a suitable bracket, or a label, for such folks... There are forums for husbands with hotwives, and there are forums for cuckolds - and these are accepted categories. But what about married men who have their wifes' permission to seek pleasure outside? And, let me tell you - married men, who have their wifes' permission, can be great company - not just for couples, but even for the single women out there - if only they can drop their suspicion and see for themselves...
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I'm a 44 year old black woman living in Southern California. I've been married for 20 years and am still very happy with my husband. Sex with him is still very hot, but infrequent over the last 10 years, since our daughter was born. Lately I've been horny all the time and I have a strong urge to live out my sexual fantasies. My husband and I like to play porn videos when we have sex. I'm very turned all by everything I see in those movies, including the bi-sexual female sex and group sex with men and women. I experienced having sex with 2 men at once when I was in college. It was so good. I still fantasize about that and would love to do it again. I have a strong urge to also experience sex with one or two other women. I have never told my husband about these fantasies or the impulse to bring them to life. It would be great if we could have an open discussion about this and decide to swing together, but that's a conversation I'm afraid to have with him. I have several business trips to Indianapolis scheduled in 2005. Each trip will be about 3-4 days. It occurs to me that I could visit a swingers club and act on these fantasies, without my husband ever knowing anything about it. What he doesn't know wont hurt him. If I did it 2000 miles away, it would probably not compromise my marraige at all. I getting closer and closer to talking myself into it. I'm not looking for anyone on this forum to condone adultory. However, I would like to know about others' first time swinging experiences. I'd like to know if it was all it was cracked up to be. I'd also like to know about what it's like for a woman on her own in one of these places. I'd also like to know if a pretty, 44-year old black woman, with a curvaceous, plump mom's body, would even get any action in one of those places? I'd really like a reality check.
