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JustAskJulie

How long have you been thinking about/discussing swinging?

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Myself and my late ex wife did some in the past and for several years Sweet Sexxy Dee and I have been gearing up for it a while now as well but needed to get past some problems from the past first in the hopes that someday we will!

 

And her first MFM threesome is in the works soon too!

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ok i dont know if i am wierd but i got a question i have watched alot of cuckold videos and i want to see my wife take a monster.. well resently we split for the past 2 weeks for sometime apart i am going back to her on tuesday and we have been talking on the phone alot, well she asked me if i would be interested in haveing another girl join in and thats when i got the confidence to ask her about my fantasy. well when she said about the girl she said she really dident want me to fuck her too unti i told her my fantasy and then she opened more. and said she would not mind if i fucked the other girl too. i amm 23 and i am about 6' with a 5' inch girth thats y i want her to have a monster 11 or better to see pure pleaser and she is 25 and we been married 6 years and have 3 kids together and i love her and want to spice things up.so my question is am i wierd and is this a positive step forward in our realationship? please help me this a dream of mine unfolding..

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From the time I found a club, to even now, I'm still a swinger in mind and thought. Though physically, it's a different story. But you get that when you're on a self-induced break as I am right now. But my husband and I discuss swinging, in all respects, on an almost daily basis. More so since I came across TSB. :-)

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First thing I want to thank everyone for sharing. It's great to see what a wide range of thoughts and experiences people have had venturing into this lifestyle. My wife and I have been together for 8 years now and we still enjoy each other and have sex regularly. About a year ago (hmm, 7 year itch?) while giving me a BJ she started talking about her and another woman giving me a BJ at the same time which was hot as hell. She also mentioned that she would like to see me with another woman and may even enjoy playing with one. She never mentioned her and another man but I started listening to the life on the swingset podcast and started really thinking about it and I'm pretty cool with the idea. We've always been open with one another and we enjoy checking people out and even pointing out hot people that we see. We're hoping to go to Atlantic City during the summer and attending one of the clubs or events there and though our primary goal is to be voyeurs and exhibitionists we're both pretty sure that if the chemistry is there we'd play soft and probably even full swap if we met a hot couple.

 

Should we meet a unicorn of course we'd certainly rock her world, make her think it was religious speaking in tongues, eyes rolling in the back of her head ;)

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We've been trying on and off for 10 yrs... For the past 2 we have tried more often but something always comes up... Usually cant get a babysitter or money issues .. Time of the month.. Or the other guy flakes out... Were seeing this as a sign...

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My husband and I have talked about it for years(we're. 60), more of a fantasy thing than anything else. Then a few months ago we were taking a trip and talking about things to do while on the trip,. My husband throws out the name of a club in Vegas, I had no idea what it was and checked it out on the Internet. Decided why the hell not, and even once I decided that I'd go to the club I was nervous. Finally the last night of our trip we head out to the club and I have to say we had a great time. We talked with a few folks but kept to ourselves as far playing went. I have to say it was fun to go to the group room and I surprised myself by playing with him and letting him take my boobs out to play with. Didn't mind at all that others were watching, as a matter of fact it made it that much more exciting. We have another trip planned in a couple of weeks and we're definitely going back to the club. We'll see how daring I get this time!

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In our 30's it did not take time. It simply happened one weekend. Our neighbours had been taking care of our kids. We came home late, had a drink together and then my wife and our neighbour went to walk the dogs.

Came home kissing and then it went fast.

Good memories!

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It was after we had been dating about 7 months. I took her to Paradise Valley July 3 a nudist resort in North Georgia. Her first nudist experience, she loved it. We followed that up with going to Trapeze that night her first swing club experience. We danced together and played together in a exhibitionist room and she loved it. I was a swinger before we met, we became full swap 18 months before we were married and it's apart of our marriage now.

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We've know each other for 18 years. Only got together this past summer. Started talking about it October/November. Joined December and have been almost every weekend.

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Well, this will be interesting. I recently hooked up with a woman who is very sexual and whom I project to possibly have swinger qualities, but haven't directly broached the subject to her yet. While we balled recently, however, she did learn of my excitement at watching the lady I'm with slip off into the arms of another man and then asked me if I'd masturbate to them. So I think there might be some fertile ground here.

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Actually, my wife and I have discussed the subject of us having sex with others for about a year now. We're an older couple, being married for 40 years, our love for each other is still strong and we are solid in our relationship.

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Guest smithvillecoupl
Actually, my wife and I have discussed the subject of us having sex with others for about a year now. We're an older couple, being married for 40 years, our love for each other is still strong and we are solid in our relationship.

 

That's so awesome. This gives me hope for us all!

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We've been discussing swinging about three months. From what we've been reading, we would like to get into full swap, but we wonder if we would should look for couples closer to our age. I'm in my 60's my wife is in her late 50's.

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we have been talking about it for a little over a year - I had a negative attitude due to an experience with an ex partner, and my husband has patiently waited yet continued to show interest in having another man join us. For at least a year if not longer the fantasy has been fulfilled with toys, but he would really like to experience the real thing. I am finally open to giving that experience to him, and maybe more, we'll see how it goes...

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My husband has wanted this for quite a while now, I don't know when I exactly came on board, but I just wanted it. It appealed to me greatly. Maybe it was from all of the research I did on it and realizing that it's not about cheating on your spouse it's an experience that just happens to turn you on, really really on. We have become closer and closer to each other as we have embarked on this road. We have also been more open with each other and the sex is fantastic. That's the best I can describe it.

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We were full swap with other couples but I found I enjoyed watching her and participating in MFM with my wife more than fucking the other wife. So now we have single men join us and its so much fun. Half the time the other husband had erection problems and left my wife unfulfilled. The single guys have been great and its so much fun focusing on her pleasure. Im straight and wife is bicurious.

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We've gone through periods of discussing it for actually a few years. It has actually been me bringing it up, not my husband.

I grew up in the 70's, with parents doing the free love thing that was so popular at that time (but ended up being a really bad experience for them both, by their own admission). But somehow in all that, I picked up the idea that being able to do this is some sort of higher level of relationship and love, that a couple can work up towards.

 

Each time I pondered it in the past, i came to the conclusion that I am not ready- I am not mature enough, not secure enough, not confident enough.

Then a year later, I'd ask myself again if I am ready yet and spend a few weeks freaking myself out, shuffling through all my issues concerning sex.

 

This time, when it came up again, my husband had the idea to stop my deliberations and just go see what it is like. It was not a good experience for either of us. It stirred up all my possible fears and insecurities, but I became more driven to try to move past them and found another club. That turned out to be a lot of fun, and showed me an aspect to this lifestyle that I never would have guessed on my own. Like the sheer playful mood, and the way people are actually MORE respectful than in a "normal" dance club.

 

 

 

I digress.

But yeah, it has been a few years, and I think we may have finally reached a maturity and solidity to our relationship that could enable us to enjoy this. I kinda think it is too bad that didn't happen when I was 25 and gorgeous..... but you can't have everything sometimes....::P:

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My husband and I have began discussing it fairly recently. I've thought about it for a while, but it took some time to talk with him. Growing up in a very conservative family and town, it was a personal battle to accept myself and how I want to live my life. It was nice to find out we're on the same page and looking to go further. Not surprisingly, we're both a little lost about how and where to start out...

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We've always had a sexually open relationship, though weren't having sex with others as much for a while, then in the last year or two we've revisited our stance on being sexually open and firmed up a lot of needs and desires around communication and trust and safer sex protocols with our "extras"...

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we've done 4 MFMs so far, and now are slowly building towards me getting some play time. I'm an ex-pat from the Hotwifing community. That's really not for me anymore. Looking forward to learning from everyone here! :)

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Honestly we discussed it while we were dating but it has been a major discussion the last five years of our marriage. We are now in a place where we can explore the fantasy with a little freedom and hopefully have some fun along the way. :)

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I had a FMF relationship for about two years in the 90s and I missed the dynamics of such relationship (and sex in particular) ever since. It was a seed that was planted in my brain.

 

My current relationship of 10+ years is very open and honest and due to positive hormonal changes (birthcontrol pill related) the already great sex is even more intense since 4 years or so. It also created an atmosphere open to discuss the part of my sexual being I miss so much: sharing intimacy with others, together. So I have thinking about it for 20 years now, only 3 years discussing it and since 2 years we are on our way to discover what we want, what I like, MsDiscover likes. And what not.

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I have been talking about it for about 4 or 5 months. He never said no but never said yes. He now says ok. I think it will more exciting to him once it happens. ;)

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We had been talking about it for a few years on and off before we decided to enter the lifestyle just under 2 years ago so I guess you could say 3 talking about it followed by 2 living it and having fun.

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We've been talking and learning about this for the last 6 years or so. It's been more "off" than "on" but it seems we are both in the right place now.

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Me and my wife have had a threesome once before me and two girls, recently I've thought about either trying another couple or male or another female not sure we have discussed it just were kinda outta the loop on having them kind of friends if friends are even the right people to choose anyways how do you go about hmm how do I put it finding the right guy/girl/couples

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My wife and I have been talking about for the last nine months, although we've both been thinking about it individually for years prior. We are, however, at the point where we are fully on board with diving into the lifestyle.

 

So, years of considering and less than a year of actively talking.

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My gf and I began discussing it at the beginning of our relationship (5 years ago) as soon as she admitted she had participated in that sort of thing a few years before, and I was very envious. We spent some time on adult friend finder, but nothing came of that. I don't think she was ready at the time. We still discuss it occasionally; she recently brought it up saying she had a possible candidate for a third, but she'd merely hinted to the guy -- yes, I'd be OK with it, either way would be hot.

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My wife and I were in vegas for work back in 2012. I wasn't feeling good that friday night but we had made plans to go out to a great club and just party all night. I told her to go enjoy it without me (stomach bug) and that I would see her in the morning.

 

She went out and met two australian guys at the bar, they were apparently in excellent shape and paid a LOT of attention to her. She was wearing a corset and a short skirt and they danced with her and were feeling her up. She told them she needed to go home and never did anything with them. I believe her.

 

Once she got home and was showering I looked at her clothes on the floor and her panties were SOAKED. I know she had a lot of fun getting that attention and was just dripping with hormones from those guys.

 

Up until that point in my life I had never thought about swinging, or hotwifing, or any of that stuff. When I saw those panties I got more aroused than I have ever been. It's been going on 4 years now and I still think about her getting fucked by another guy, or guys, whenever I masturbate. I honestly can't help but fantasize about it before I get off each time.

 

I think in reality I would rather swing, so I get to have some fun along with her, but the prospect of seeing her cum to another, and then getting to make her cum myself is just so intoxicating to me.

 

I'm here to read and learn from others.

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I brought it up first in 2012, and a few times since. She thinks it would lead to divorce, i dont. I've always been the leader sexually for us tho.

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10+ years. Pretty much as long as my wife and I have been going out. There was one night a few months after we started seeing each other that there was another guy at the pool hall we were at hitting on her and buying her drinks. I thought the whole thing was very hot and we discussed later that night possibilities. It was something neither of us was really ready for that early in the relationship though. It was a topinc that would come up at least a couple times every year, then we had our daughter. Finally, now that she is a little older and we can comfortably leave her with a baby sitter, we have decided to finally start acting on these discussions.

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How long have you been thinking about wanting to swing and/or discussing it with your SO?

 

My husband and I have been fantasising about the idea for about a year. So, we are taking the plunge this August at Hedo.

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We've been talking about it for 2 years. We both have always thought and fantasize about it, but now we want to act upon it. Weird, the more I think of my wife with another guy the more I want her.

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Wu got me stated on sex in places were we might be watched when we were in our 20's, I was terrified but with time I relaxed and eventually took the lead pushing the envelope. I did not know anything about swinging, always thought it was a bunch of druggies having orgies. Then Playboy had some articles that tended to disabuse that notion and I found some more literature and joined NASCA. Once our youngest was out of the home I thought we might have fun with group sex and a lot less risk for getting arrested for sex in public. Wu wasn't interested in wooing but we eventually found a masturbation club that fills our need, we can share naked pleasuring and finish with our own flourish.

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15 years ago we had a few mutual encounters.

 

We started talking about it seriously again 3-4 years ago.

 

In the last few months we are getting to a point we feel we could move forward in action instead of words.

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We've been talking about it for 5 months, we joked around about it in the past but now it's more of a serious adult conversation lol

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Guest nakedal

Our first conversation was just after Christmas 2014 ... my suggestion ... and she was quite taken aback until she saw how serious I was ... she couldn't quite believe that I would be happy for her to be pleasured by another guy and actually be turned on by it ...

 

Two years on, it's a regular conversation - usually (though not exclusively) when we're having sex ... and she would still say that she thinks it would be wrong and that she doesn't want another guy - I'm enough - though watching her reactions to the ideas and scenarios we create are a contra-indication - as also are the occasional questions about whether it would really be wrong having a concubine sort of relationship with an extra man ...

 

Don't know what you make of all that?! But in answer to the question - just over two years ... though not got to the point of sharing ... yet!

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My ex actually brought it up at one point, which came as a surprise. She was open-minded and high-libido, but it hadn't occurred to me that she would be interested in group sex. However, by that point, I was pretty checked out of the relationship and that conversation was going nowhere.

 

In our current relationship, Mrs. and I had pretty free-ranging discussions about casual sex early on, when we thought we were just having fun. There was some outside activity here and there until we settled into things, and we were open about it. Maybe three years ago now I raised the subject in bed, specifically that I'd really enjoy watching her give another man head. It turned her on, made her giggle, but she was shocked. A few days later she brought it up again on her own, asking if I was serious. Became a regular bedroom topic. We'd tinker with the idea when we were traveling but never pulled the trigger, until October of last year when we finally joined two other couples. Worth the wait.

 

Two years on, it's a regular conversation - usually (though not exclusively) when we're having sex ... and she would still say that she thinks it would be wrong and that she doesn't want another guy - I'm enough - though watching her reactions to the ideas and scenarios we create are a contra-indication - as also are the occasional questions about whether it would really be wrong having a concubine sort of relationship with an extra man ...

 

The social/moral barrier was big for the Mrs., too. I think being turned on by it and questioning the convention against it is a very positive sign.

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Guest nakedal
In our current relationship, Mrs. and I had pretty free-ranging discussions about casual sex early on, when we thought we were just having fun. There was some outside activity here and there until we settled into things, and we were open about it. Maybe three years ago now I raised the subject in bed, specifically that I'd really enjoy watching her give another man head. It turned her on, made her giggle, but she was shocked. A few days later she brought it up again on her own, asking if I was serious. Became a regular bedroom topic. We'd tinker with the idea when we were traveling but never pulled the trigger, until October of last year when we finally joined two other couples. Worth the wait.

 

 

 

The social/moral barrier was big for the Mrs., too. I think being turned on by it and questioning the convention against it is a very positive sign.

 

Hey that's encouraging to hear ... Maybe a slow burner ... what helped you/ her finally pull the trigger?

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Hey that's encouraging to hear ... Maybe a slow burner ... what helped you/ her finally pull the trigger?

 

I could write a lot here, and I think you and I had an exchange about this before, but her major concerns really fell into two categories: her religious/cultural upbringing universally said no to almost anything, and since there's a consensus that the answer is no, surely there must be a reason not to do these things, no matter how fun they sound. Her libido, on the other hand... she would routinely watch and enjoy porn, sometimes more than once a day.

 

Getting her past the moral baggage was relatively easy. She had been through a very traditional, early 'by-the-book' marriage that had no joy in it and wanted to get past it and set her own agenda, and was rapidly deciding that being ashamed of having fun wasn't the way to be. (She'll be the first to tell you - they were her own words when we talked about what to say in a post here - that she wishes she'd spent her late teens and early twenties on her hands and knees.) Nearly every boundary that we've pushed has been a success with her.

 

Getting her over the anxiety has been harder and we've been on the verge of going to a club on every trip we've taken in recent years, we'd even done our homework and settled on hitting Moon City in Paris if the mood struck her. There's always some sense of "what if it turns out badly" that stops it at talk. What changed was being invited by a longtime friend. They've known each other for 20+ years and went through their first marriages together. She relayed the invitation to me and it was the first time I got some sense from her that she was the one who was ready to go and was feeling me out instead of the other way around. I think trusting her friend to help make it a good experience and knowing her friend's ex-husband was not a creep, as opposed to feeling out strangers in a strange club, helped immensely.

 

So FINALLY, we got there, and after some initial skittishness her BFF's ex-husband's erection, ended up swallowing his cum. From there on, it was "screw it, we're in Vegas" for the next 36 hours.

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Guest nakedal
...her major concerns really fell into two categories: her religious/cultural upbringing universally said no to almost anything, and since there's a consensus that the answer is no, surely there must be a reason not to do these things, no matter how fun they sound. Her libido, on the other hand... she would routinely watch and enjoy porn, sometimes more than once a day.

 

Interesting - some similarities and some significant differences. They may be the reason why you've taken the plunge and we haven't though I live in hope!

 

Thank you so much for sharing!

 

The "it's wrong" based on religion hang up seems to be her biggest stumbling block - and also I think a suspicion that I'd see it as the thin end of the wedge and use it as an excuse to go and screw around with other women being another - based on not being able to believe why I'd want to see her enjoying herself. She gets it too - I talk about how much i'd love to see her reacting to four pairs of hands, two mouths and two cocks together and how I want her to increase her pleasure. I think she also thinks that if she allows it, that somehow she'd be admitting that I wasn't enough for her. She enjoys the exclusivity of our relationship too.

 

So things to keep talking about and playing around with - it does spice up our sex life for sure ... Ideally I'd like to see it enacted further ... hopefully she agrees before we both start pulling our pensions! haha Since I know a part of her would LOVE it!

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The "it's wrong" based on religion hang up seems to be her biggest stumbling block - and also I think a suspicion that I'd see it as the thin end of the wedge and use it as an excuse to go and screw around with other women being another - based on not being able to believe why I'd want to see her enjoying herself. She gets it too - I talk about how much i'd love to see her reacting to four pairs of hands, two mouths and two cocks together and how I want her to increase her pleasure. I think she also thinks that if she allows it, that somehow she'd be admitting that I wasn't enough for her. She enjoys the exclusivity of our relationship too.

 

I've definitely heard all these "what ifs". "What if you want to do it all the time and I don't", "what if I want to do it all the time and you don't", "what if it changes things", etc.

 

For her, nearly all sex is/was tied up in moral conventions. As a teenager, she was scared a lot by her mother and the nuns about what boys were after and stayed out of trouble. After her marriage, she was really kind of disappointed with the way things were: when we started having coffee, she was seeing two men on-and-off, both of whom just wanted to settle down and be her second husband, and they were both nice and trying hard but she didn't want that.

 

At some point, she confided in me that she felt terrible because she'd slept with them both in the same weekend. I confided in her that she shouldn't, because that happens all the time and I had done "worse". The idea that people *actually* just fuck because it's fun and that it doesn't mean anything wasn't exactly news, but it was a relief to her that I could make it feel "mainstream" for her and give her support/encouragement.

 

What I'm trying to say is that *wanting* to shed the convention, recognizing that there was a convention and that it was stressing her out needlessly, feels like it was important. A lot of our relationship and sex life has actually kind of been a vehicle to that end. Obviously, though, group sex is at least one more step up the ladder from where we've previously been spending our time and took some more work. ;) I'm just glad that it all went off without a hitch for her.

 

hopefully she agrees before we both start pulling our pensions! haha Since I know a part of her would LOVE it!

 

Everyone needs something to stay busy in retirement, too. :lol:

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I have been thinking about this lifestyle for years but didn't know anyone or even what is what called. I had an incorrect definition/ connotation for what swinging is and a single women's role in it. I met a friend who has some experience and now I know I am welcome (assuming I can find a group and invite). I am excited to learn and go from there

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Never discussed this w anyone, not even any of my two ex, though not felling extremely comfortable, think, 1 sex is a necessity to live a healthy life. 2. This is something that burden me: think monogamous is not natural, man (women) are not by nature, even though you love your couple. 3 don't even know if this is for me, since would never tolerate the presence of a second male during intercourse (I'm very heterosexual). So this is by now nothing more than satisfy a curiosity and make friends. Thanks for having me

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