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On the profile note... I've noticed a lot of ads focused on finding people to DATE, lately. I've found this odd but at the same time kind of understand wanting to make sure potential matches are open to swinging if it's something important to you... What do you all think? Is SLS an appropriate place to be searching for a significant other or should it be strictly focused on finding casual sex partners/FWB?
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A common question from single males.... "I am new to the lifestyle and am looking for a female to swing with as a couple. Any advice on how and where to find someone. Seems a lot of the ads on the internet are not for real." Any answers? -
This is me on the outside looking in. I will try to describe this situation as best I can. I have some swinger friends who have a single male friend whom the husband of the couple I am friends with has been friends with since childhood. The situation lies with the single male friend. What's funny to me is that when he's single he is a very active swinger. He tends though to date vanilla girls. He claims that he is completely monogamous when he dates. (but of course has a lifetime membership to one of the swinger websites) He is now in what I would call a serious relationship. He has been dating the same girl for about a year. She is completely in love with him and of course they spend a good amount of time with my friends. The girlfriend sees my friend (the wife of the couple) as a good friend and confidant. What I have failed to mention so far is that yes the single male and my friends have had a swinging relationship. It did stop when he became involved with the girl. The single male friend (knowing that the girlfriend may hear some conversations that would leave her scratching her head) outs my friends as swingers to his girlfriend but of course leaves out the "minor" detail that he is as well. You know kind of running damage control so that she won't think anything of some off color conversation that she may overhear. Here is my question. They have chosen to keep their involvement with each other a secret from her. This is just my opinion, but I would feel wrong being a confidant and close friend of someone that I had such a big secret to hide from them. I would not want the worrying all the time that someone would reveal our secret (my friend likes to mix her vanilla and swinger friends at vanilla parties). Why leave a bomb like that waiting to go off at any moment? Tell the truth, get it out there so she can decide whether it's something she can deal with and move on. I feel sorry for this girl at times because know I would probably feel like a fool if everyone knew this but me and I found out after my relationship had been serious for a while. I hope ya'll were able to get the situation I was trying to describe. I am curious to see what the majority thinks on this. -
My wife and I have single female friend who is 100% straight. Since she does not have the intention to be in a serious relationship my wife suggested to her that she should visit a swingers club. She is around 40 and she does not want to be dating anybody because she considers that one night stands are safer is a swinger environment. But I consider that a swingers club is not the right place for a single straight woman. She will be looking for trouble if her only intention is to play with a married male. She enjoys being watched having sex, but, I think since she is not Bi, there are not many couples interested in a SSF. Am I wrong?
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I know a great deal about Swinging; I have been exposed to the community itself a few times in my life and I have read the great book "The Lifestyle" which helped me greatly come to terms with my personal fantasies. I fully understand that swinging is not really about sex which is something that is very hard to explain which is why i rarely bring it up in conversations. I say all this because I am a single male. I am however a single male with an uncommon single male agenda (at least from what the community might be used to). After a long time not dating I am currently back in the dating scene and I feel at my age I really don't have time to fuck around with stupid immature views around sex however at the same time I do not want to freak people out for various reasons, some which could clearly get one fired. So with that, what might be the best way for me to filter out women who would be completely against this lifestyle while at the same time not being a complete and total freak (although I suppose this qualifies as being one). ALSO, for me, I would be 100% ok if I and the love of my life never swung more than a few times and decided we didn't like the Lifestyle. What is important to me is that she would be open to my freak side (which really is important for everyone I would thing). Thanks for the help! (added: what interests me most about the swinging lifestyle is allowing women to have complete and total fun for themselves while allow me to be turned on by other women. For me, its more about the woman's pleasure when it comes to swinging)
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hi. after 18 years of 2 marriages, and involved in lifestyle periodically thoughout that time, i am now single and wondering how to proceed with my social life. i have many friends, straight girl friends that are friends of my children's friends, that kind of thing. lately, i've been entertaining the idea of singles groups and even mentioned to my girlfriends that i'm on the market again, jokingly, but they actually came up with people for me to date. the thing is, i don't want a serious relationship, but maybe just a guy that i can enjoy his company and even go to a swinger club and have some fun this way, whether full swap or not. i know there's lots of single guys that are into swinging, but to be honest, this makes me nervous, just meeting random swinger guys. does anyone have any suggestions? on my last post, i got some great suggestions to call a club ahead of time and the host couple can introduce me around. so maybe i'll meet someone, or make some friends this way. i can't force it to happen. thanks forreading.
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During our live chat Thursday night we discussed singles and swinging and one of the questions that came up was what do singles give up in order to swing. The main comment to this question was how hard it is for single swingers to enjoy "straight" relationships because they have to tell potential partners about their swinging experience and interest. Basically, making it feel as if you have to choose one world or the other. Is it possible to have both? Why is swinging worth giving up the ease of having a "straight" relationship?
