Ever tempted to get pregnant on purpose when swinging?

[Alura 2,766]

Quote

Originally posted by neil1

.And on the subject on how many sperm it takes, yes it takes only one but doctors say you need millions to engulf the egg in order for just one to penetrate the shell..........

 

I'm not a medical practitioner but I would encourage you to talk to your doctor about (or do research on) artificial insemination.

 

Night Goddess... Where are you???

[dayhiker 83]

Thought I'd add a couple of points to stuff mentioned in this tread.

 

Last I heard reasearchers have found 4000 genetic defects in the human genome. So far I've only come across 4 that have any

beneficial result. So picking a stranger to have a child with gives.

 

you a high probability of getting one of those defects. However, I think your spouse gives you a pretty good chance of getting the same result. Most genetic defects I think are minor enough that we live very normal lives to not even being noticed. It looks like a genetic defect has been handed down thru my family to my kids. We live pretty normal lives, wouldn't trade for a different defect.

 

Secondly, I was in a local chatroom once. Assuming the story is true, who knows? This lady comes in, starting telling her story, husband can't get her pregnant. So she wants to meet a guy. She will pay for a night of dining, dancing and a 5 star hotel room for the night with the idea that the guy is to get her pregnant and then not be a part of her or the child's life. She wasn't telling her husband what she was doing.

 

chatrooms are sooo interesting. Who will I meet tomorrow!

[NightGoddess 16]

Hi Neil,

I thought I'd put a few facts out there, and forgive me if you know this already:

 

Have you and your wife considered in vitro fertilization? If your Mrs. is fertile...it wouldn't take many sperm to successfully conceive.

Also, have your sperm been examined for normalcy? If you are producing simply too few normal sperm, perhaps the products of several ejaculates could be combined?

 

I know this is not an infertility forum, and I apologize if you have gone this route without success.

 

From a medical standpoint, I'd tell you to exercise some caution and speak with a specialist for other resources.

 

Your child, or any child, is too important to be considered a roll of the dice, or a roll in the hay.

[Found The Way 15]

I agree this should not happen... but...

 

prior to my marriage to my sexy hubby he had a woman try this one on him! We all hung out at the local swing club for several years and were all friends both at the club and around town. My hubby is a firm believer in condoms and insisted even with close friends (for his own reasons). well, I think her biggest mistake in this was she came to me and asked what to do and the guy she chose to do this to.

 

To her amazement I sat her and her hubby down and the guy and we had a big ol' talk right there at the club...... the hubby was upset and even more so cause it was a sudden thing to come up ..... (they were having personal relationship issues). I knew too well what was going on and yes they were needing to step away from the lifestyle to get themselves straight ..... so that's why I had them sit down and talk....... the *accused* male that is now my hubby ..... can not produce those little squiggle things!! He was born like that and I had seen actual doctor records when he and his former wife had went to try to get pregnant years ago. thus giving his first wife a reason to leave him, she wanted kids.

 

From the last time we talked with them they told us they has put the lifestyle on hold and was talking with a marriage counselor and she is seeing her own counselor for her self image etc.

 

Sometimes in this lifestyle you make really close friends and the best you can do for them has nothing to do with pleasing them or yourself.

 

Well wishes to all!

[tazzie_n_truck 17]

Us personally we would never try to get pregnant with a swing partner. Mainly because of the legal ramifications, and also just how would you explain it to family.

 

We have heard of some couples who swing who have tried to get pregnant because the husband of one couple is unable to get his wife/girlfriend pregnant.

 

We personally don't condone people trying to get pregnant while swinging without consent.

 

If it comes from the other couple helping out another couple to have a baby, by swinging instead of artificial insemination we tend to look at it differently. But still, we know that some of you may not agree with that idea either.

[neil1 18]

Well we did it. I thank everyone for their advice but over the weekend my wife and I went to another city about 400 miles away where we met a man who wanted to have bareback sex with my wife with me watching. It was no problem to set up and we met in a hotel. We told him that she was on the pill and they had unprotected sex 6 times over the course of the weekend.

 

We just got back tonight and have no intention of seeing him again. We are hoping that she is pregnant. We timed it just right for her to be in her fertile time and we think we had success. We will know for sure in a few weeks.

 

I read what everyone had to say and some made very good points but we are desperate and this is the way we have decided to go. I of course had sex with my wife every time they did so I could "get my sperm into action" just in case it was me that got her pregnant.

 

If this works we have agreed to quit swinging and just be a normal couple with a child. I realize that most people would be horrified if they found out but this is the way we have decided to go. If she isn't pregnant then we try again, this time with a different man because we don't want to make friends with the person. We want him to think that he had a good time with another couple and forget about it...

[Botcpl 15]

You know, You are playing with fire.

 

First: You are putting your wife and yourself at risk.

 

Second: You are lying to this guy. (and if he was lying to you,...?)

 

Third: You are stealing from this guy, it's a fine line, but you are stealing this guy's DNA.

 

Fourth: It may not be fair to the child you wish to conceive. If there is something wrong with this (maybe) child, will you stick with it through thick and thin? Are you prepared for a Doctor to turn to you and say "Well, we won't say retarded."?

 

I've heard so many stories of newly adopted babies that come into the hospital sick. Then the new parents learn that their baby will always be sick. A few days later, the baby's last name is changed.

 

I know you think you are different, but you are playing with fire.

[Karen12345 15]

@ T & T

 

> Us personally we would never try to get pregnant with a swing partner.

> Mainly because of the legal ramifications, and also just how would you  explain it to family.

 

These are the reasons for you not to do it? So, the main reason not to take this option into account is the society you live in. What about yourself? What would you do in a world without DNA-Tests, without any control from outside of your relationship?

 

I find it interesting that you talk about legal ramifications and family. My main reason not to consider having another man's baby are in my feelings towards my husband and that he wants to be the father of our child.

 

confusing topic isn't it?

Karen

[NightGoddess 16]

If it's a done deed, I suggest you have amnio-testing to make sure the baby is normal. Tell your Ob/Gyn you are unsure of the parentage. He may lecture you, but he may also be able to help you get some assurance of the child's health.

 

Hope the man was STD-free.

 

I recommend you not share this info with any family members.

[neil1 18]

Well we did it. When we went out of city to meet with a guy bareback in order for her to get pregnant we went right on her fertile time. Her pregnancy test came back positive! She is pregnant. We will not tell the doctor anything about it except that I am the father. And who knows...I may be the father. My wife had sex with the man 6 times with me in the room and I always followed up with sex right afterwards to get my sperm mingled up in there. But have to tell you the sexual rush you get seeing a man having sex with your wife in order to get her pregnant. When it was my turn I have never been harder when I entered her. Now the deed is done. And we are going to have a child....

[fredandwilma200 16]

To be honest, it seems kind of soon to tell. I know I was almost three weeks pregnant before we knew! I think that this sounds alittle "fishy" I dont think that in three days you would be able to tell!

[Spoomonkey 418]

Well - if you did it then all we can do is wish you the best. For the sake of the baby who is getting the short end of a really short stick... For your wife who we all hope came away with nothing but a little extra DNA... For the single guy who will never know that he is a father... And for you who seems completely unable to listen to good sense. In the end, this is a trait that may haunt you the rest of your life. Again - if it is true - I am sure we all hope that the numerous problems that you are selfishly putting so many at risk for never come back and bite you guys in the ass.

 

Personally, I am hoping that FredandWilma are right and this has all been a bit of a hoax...

[chickadiva 15]

I'm with FredandWilma on this one....if the dates "Neil" gave are correct, it is too soon for her to be pregnant from those sexual acts. I am not saying she's not pregnant, just that this escapade with the unknowing donor isn't the actual conception.

 

There are plenty of sources out there (ovusoft, fertility friend, TCOYF), but I can tell you from my own research and experience it takes anywhere from 3-8 DAYS beyond ovulation and fertilization for the egg to implant into the uterus...and it is impossible to determine the exact moment of ovulation, hence the 12-24hr. "window" of egg life often quoted. (oh, and for those of you that don't know it sperm can live anywhere from hours to up to 5 days inside a woman, depending upon her cervical fluid status...so you can have sex on Wednesday yet "conceive"/fertilize on Saturday) It's isn't until after implantation that HCG is produced. That is the hormone you are looking for when you "pee on a stick"! It's also what they look for in the blood test. That is why most early pregnancy tests say they are good as soon as day of missed period or three days prior, etc.

 

So, if she's preggers y'all miss calculated ovulation and either Neil or ??? (yet again someone else?) is the father.

 

I think someone is trying to raise our collective blood pressure!

[Elusive BiFem 70]

Yep, chickadiva and fredandwilma...I'm with ya'll on this one. I don't know anything about *'birthin no babies* but I did look this up and I'm just not buying this quick pregnancy thng. Of course, there is the possibility a blood test was done, but since he said they "will" tell the doctor....that statement sort of indicates they have not talked to the doctor. Nope...I'm skeptical. Neil? Are you playing with us? Gotta admit...your comments stirred up some good discussion.

 

- EBF

 

HCG is measured in thousandths of International Units, or mIU. The most sensitive pregnancy tests can detect hCG levels at as low as 20 mIU. This level of hCG is present in the urine of pregnant women at about 8 days after conception - (though conception/implantation can actually take place several days after the last recorded intercourse). Test sensitivity equates with early-detection - and the lower the number, the sooner a test can detect pregnancy.

 

pregnant, the amount of hCG in your system should be around 25 mIU at 10 dpo (days past ovulation), 50 mIU at 12 dpo, 100 mIU at around two weeks dpo. Blood tests can determine pregnancy as low as between 5 to 10 mIU/hCG, though with levels of 5 mIU, a conclusive determination cannot be made without risking a "false positive" as low levels hCG can be present in the body without pregnancy.

 

Drugstore pregnancy tests generally detect pregnancy at 50 mIU - 100 mIU hCG, though you can find early-detection pregnancy tests on the Internet with sensitivity levels as low as 20 mIU. With all diagnostic products, take care to follow the instructions.

 

For earliest detection of pregnancy, use first morning urine, as this urine sample contains the most concentrated amount of hCG. If using first morning urine is not feasible, avoiding urination for several hours before using a pregnancy test.

 

Besides pregnancy, elevated concentrations of hCG may be found in women with trophoblastic diseases. These conditions should be ruled out in the interpretation of hCG levels to establish a diagnosis of pregnancy.

[yawanna 17]

I hadn't responded to this thread at ALL due to it's nebulous nature. Who the hell would be involved in swinging and wanting to start a family? Everyone we've known, met, heard about, leaves swinging to do the 'family' thang.

I thought this thread was silly at the very least. Now 'neil' is taking us on a 'we made a baby in all the wrong ways' adventure.

 

I'll tell ya.. bareback sex isn't an option for anyone but my husband and I with only each other. Ya I know of many single men and even married couples that 'go there' practically begging to get an STD or worse - no way on gawd's green earth would WE ever go there.

 

*deep breath*

 

how on earth this thread was given any breath of life is beyond me. Then again, I don't understand quantum physics either. This entire thread is at the least offensive, and at the most a big joke that I don't find funny at all.

 

end of rant.

[OhioCouple 38]

Okay... Am I the only one tinking this is perfect fodder for the Maury Povich show? Whoooo's your daddy?!?!? *blah*

 

Neil1, I must agree with the others. If your posting is based on this prior weekend of having sexual interludes, it would be EXTREMELY hard to have a positive on Monday. Actually, most unlikely. I've two adult children in which they worried about pregnancy in the first couple of days. There was no test that could prove it before they were at least seven days pregnant. As one has a youngster that is just now six months old, hers could not be determined by her physician until she was nine days pregnant. (two tests). The HPT's could not pick it up. Perhaps the HPT kits have changed in the last six months, but I've heard nothing about it.

[midnight hour 16]

I really haven't followed this thread too much because it sounds like the Twilight Zone..however Mr. Midnight did run into a ad on SLS that stated that birth control was not a concern because they were starting a family soon So I am guessing this couple does not care who the Father is.

On the flip side of this, I remember watching a special on maybe Discovery about how if a woman is having affair out of the marriage that the chances of her having her lovers baby is higher then her married partner. Something about evolution and the constant hunt our bodies do to *trade up* to the stronger DNA..i.e the lover being the stronger one since he is not the normal partner. Was a real interesting watch.

[Jocko Johnson 15]

My wife got pregnant during while swinging. It wasn't a planned thing but we had three kids and I have been fixed. It was my friend who fortunatly has a somewhat similar body type as me. She has already had the baby and it is healthy. It's not as big a deal as everyone is making it. My friend isn't wierd at all, I treat the child the same all all the others (even though he's only 1) and nobody has said anything. It worked out well because my wife was actually kind of wanting a fourth but I was fixed and already had three so I didn't care. Made her happy and it was fun for me. Actually I watched the kids while her and my friend sneaked off the the SUV for some fun when the accident happened. Shouldn't say accident, it's been a blessing.

[hotmelcpl 15]

While we try not to judge other people as we also don't want to be judged, we think it is fairly exteme to be trying to get pregnant on purpose thru swinging. Our concern mostly would be for the child and any possible future ramifications that could occur that could have a detrimental affect on their life.

 

If it ever happened to us thru a freaky accident (we take precautions) we would want to ensure that the child was loved and treated no differently to one conceived and planned by us.

 

hugs

[Chris&Amelia 253]

Okay, this thread is now officially freaking us out.

[Botcpl 15]

Jocko

 

There is a big difference between an accident and deception.

 

All children should be wanted, loved and brought up in the best environment possible. I think honesty has something to do with that environment.

 

Several people have mentioned paternity suits and child support from the real father. For the sake of argument, forget that. If it is okay to steal someone's sperm or DNA, then if that doesn't work, is it okay to go to a hospital and steal a newborn?

 

We are on the verge of a second sexual revolution.

 

The first resulting from the development of reliable birth control. With the fear of pregnancy removed (well, lessen greatly) women became more sexual. Look at the sexual change in our society in just the last fifty or sixty years.

 

The second will result from development of DNA tracking or marking. No one will be able to stand are someone's doorstep and say this baby is yours, you have to pay for it with little or no proof. With a simple test (not even a blood test) we will know who the real parents are.

 

Suppose this couple who stole this DNA decided they couldn't stay married after ten years and split up. The husband has no responsibility for child support. We have hundreds of thousands of deadbeat dads who really are fathers; it would not be so unusual for this guy to "bail" on the kid.

 

Like I said before, these people are playing with fire.

 

There is a book called, "The Myth of Monogamy". It is very dry reading but very profound.

[neil1 18]

Well my wife and I couldn't have children so we met with a single male from a different city and she had sex with him for several days...

 

Afterwards she found out that she was pregnant just as we planned. The greatest joy I have ever felt. The sperm donor was fairly like me in looks and will never know that he is the father. We never left an address or phone for him to call back... My wife and I are so happy about this...

[catherine1962 16]

I believe it...I hope you have a happy life Neil...I have 2 children and we found out very quickly that I was pregnant. My husband and I were trying to pregnant and after having sex a few days later the pregnancy test kit said I was...I want only the best for Neil and his wife.

[Elusive BiFem 70]

catherine1962 said:

I believe it...I hope you have a happy life Neil...I have 2 children and we found out very quickly that I was pregnant. My husband and I were trying to pregnant and after having sex a few days later the pregnancy test kit said I was...I want only the best for Neil and his wife.

 

Is this the same catherine1962 that posted the thread about the man entering her without a condom...and the deception that involved? And now, you can turn around and say that Neil's wife getting pregnant by an unknowing and assumed unwilling swing partner is just great? No problem?

 

Sorry, catherine, but it is one thing for a man and wife to be overjoyed at a pregnancy they created in honesty, but it is an entirely different thing to support a person in not only deception, but deception where a human life is concerned. This unknown man had a right to know that he was contributing his DNA to creating 50% of a human life - a life that will pass his genes on maybe forever. And what about the child? Being conceived in deception and living it's entire life in deception? In essence, this child's entire existence will be based upon a lie. Neil is depriving this child of the right to know who he/she is. He/she will never have the opportunity to know more than a true 50% about themselves. And you say this is just hunkey-dory?

 

Personally, I think this is the height of moral repugnance. Not because of the pregnancy alone, but because of the intent to become pregnant under such deceptive circumstances. This is a person you support? One that would use another human being in this manner and allow a life to be created under these circumstances? There are sperm banks out there where men have donated their sperm with full knowledge. They made a choice. Just like you and the condom issue...this "donor" was not allowed a choice. He was violated just as much, IMO, as if he had been raped. An unwilling...at least uninformed organ donor.

 

I wish the best for the child, but as for Neil and his partner in what I think of as a moral crime, I don't. In my opinion, they are lower than pond scum.

[Mecka 15]

I'm a big conspiracy theory buff, so I had to chime in here.

 

A man that's never posted here before, claims that he can't impregnate his wife, so he would consider letting his wife sleep with someone else, to possibly impregnate her.

 

The point in the thread that this arrives at, is the point when the most heated opposition to this particular topic is rearing its head.

 

Soon after, someone catches on to the fact that it says hes single in his profile. He comes up with an elaborate excuse as to why he put single.

 

Whoa, hold up, red flag. How many married couples on this site, when posed with this same question on any type of application or legal form, or web site sign up, would mark the latter?

 

Married_____Divorced____Widowed____ Single_______

 

Being married, no thought at all would be put into marking, married. It's second nature. I know when i fill out an application, or anything of the sort, i always mark single, with out even thinking about it. It doesn't take a lot of thought. Its one of those answers that's just there.

 

So this leads me to believe one of two things. A) Hes a troll just looking to go against the grain, and disturb the flow, because he like the thrill of an argument. Even if he doesn't have a particular view on the topic at hand. He just likes the challenge. or B) He is actually the person whom originated the thread. Posting to back up the thoughts he/she already had on the topic, with out coming right out and saying it.

 

I lean a little more towards B, and if i had the time, i would check the I.P address of both of them. But alas, i need to sleep soon. The reason, A person posing as someone else, would think enough about the answers to the questions they were filling out, but are always destined to miss something blatantly catchable. I've been a moderator for many boards on the internet, and caught many people posing as someone else to back up their views. Sooner or later, they always screw up and let something slip. One person we caught, actually logged in under the wrong name, and gave them selves away. Acted as the other person, under the topic posters name.

 

I could be wrong, but either , this person, isn't actually a couple, and this whole thing never happened. Too soon to find out, too soon to actually do it, when it seemed like he was in deep contemplation, and too quick to come to the aid of a view that makes only a minimal amount of sense, in being that it is only ever right if the couple in question can't conceive, and everyone there is ok with it. or, this person is just the poster, and wanted a back up voice, that they could control. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry, but shit. I need sleep. night all.

[Elusive BiFem 70]

If I'm wrong, I'm sorry, but shit. I need sleep. night all.

 

I think you are correct, Mecka, and that is a conclusion most of us came to quite some time back. However, a troll or not, the recent post by catherine stirred my ire. Assuming he is a troll and none of this ever happened, I have to wonder why anyone would condone such actions...such blatant thievery (grand larceny IMO), disregard for another human, not to even mention the total disregard for any child brought into this world under these conditions. What can be said for any person that will knowingly steal another person's sperm...their DNA...to create a child that will likely live for many years and pass on that DNA to other humans?

 

Personally, I don't wish "the best" to anyone that would do such a thing. The unborn child, assuming there is one currently growing inside some woman...that's another story. Innocent to everything. But what a horrible way to start life - with two parents that literally stole the child.

 

What would catherine say if this child had been born and Neil had entered the newborn nursery and stolen him/her in the middle of the night? Most likely, she would have a different take on that scenario. But is this really any different? Again, IMO, if any of this is true, it is nothing more than theft and a subtle form of rape. The entire thought of someone doing this to another human - the man and the unborn child - is sickening. - EBF

[DBL D 120]

You da Man, EBF.

 

I have always envied those that see things so clearly.

 

Sometimes we feel if we compromise ourselves it's a good thing.

 

Well not in my opinion and not here.

 

This certainly is disgusting to think about.

 

It's one thing to give up a child for adoption and have that person live long before learning the truth about it's conception, but somehow I feel an even bigger lie would be involved to explain this other child's coming into being. One lie begets another. Isn't the truth so much simpler to deal with. Why do people think they have to devise such immoral ideas instead of just communicating their thoughts to others until they find their rightful solution?

[HotCoupleGnS 21]

The most awful thing to think about is how hurt the chiild will be one day when he learns what the truth is. I speak from experience on knowing someone who was lied to as a child. They were not lied to in the same exact way, but it is similar. Also, I think it is hard for a parent to love a child that is not truly their own. I know there are exceptions to the rule, but few I think. I am not a man, b ut can you imagine lloking at this child every day & knowing he is not yours? Knowing that some other mans blood is running through him? I think after a while there might be some resentment.

[JustAskJulie 2,588]

My wife got pregnant during while swinging. It wasn't a planned thing but we had three kids and I have been fixed. It was my friend who fortunatly has a somewhat similar body type as me. She has already had the baby and it is healthy. It's not as big a deal as everyone is making it. My friend isn't wierd at all, I treat the child the same all all the others (even though he's only 1) and nobody has said anything. It worked out well because my wife was actually kind of wanting a fourth but I was fixed and already had three so I didn't care. Made her happy and it was fun for me. Actually I watched the kids while her and my friend sneaked off the the SUV for some fun when the accident happened. Shouldn't say accident, it's been a blessing.

 

I think there's a big difference between an accident and going out and planning to get pregnant by a swing partner (as was the question in this topic). You dealt with your situation as you had to do. But you weren't sitting there purposely thinking, hey ya know I'm fixed and we want another kid so why don't we get my buddy to knock you up.

[JustAskJulie 2,588]

Mecka said:

So this leads me to believe one of two things. A) He's a troll just looking to go against the grain, and disturb the flow, because he like the thrill of an argument. Even if he doesn't have a particular veiw on the topic at hand. He just likes the challenge. or B) He is actually the person whom originated the thread. Postign to back up the thoughts he/se already had on the topic, with out coming right out and saying it.

 

As EBF said, conclusion A is one that most people came to early on. Conclusion B, not even close and while you don't have the ability to check IP#'s here, I do and did.

[Elusive BiFem 70]

Thank you for the vote of confidence DBL D, but I have to admit that I don't always see things with complete clarity. When I get confused, it can take an army to un-confuse me, and in the process, I can confuse an entire batallion!

 

But this particular thread is really disturbing to me simply because the basis of the child at question (assuming there really is one) is built upon a lie and deceit. I feel so strongly that people do not have the right to lie to others. In doing so, it robs the receiver of the ability to make choices and decisions, and as a result, their life and actions/reactions then become a lie, if only to themselves. In this case, we have two "receivers." The unknowing provider of sperm plus the child. Both parties should be given the right to know what the basis of the entire situation is. But later, how do you tell the child...oh, well, your mom and I went out and screwed around with some stranger to have you. Right. That's gonna make this kid feel just great. And we can't even discuss the man's feelings about all this. Who knows? Maybe he would have been A-OK with the entire thing. But he still had the right to know he was being used as a sperm donor.

 

And hotcouple...as a person that was half adopted (by my father), I can honestly say in my case, my father loved me at least as much as he did my two sisters who were his natural kids. Sometimes, and especially in later years, I think he may have loved me even more. Certainly, he and I were much, much closer than he was to my two sisters. So yes, it is absolutely possible for an adoptive parent to love a child just as much as they would their very own.

 

It's exactly like Julie said in the preceding post...accidents do happen, and that is one situation. A person then has to make the best of the situation presented. But to go out seeking such a situation sheds an entirely different light on it. Neil's scenario was not an accident. It was deliberately and with intent - created.

 

But for me, it all goes back to this...do not rob me of my ability to make the best choices and decisions for my life and well-being based upon a lie. Once you've done that to me, you've stripped away the essence of who I really am. - EBF

[beaverlckr 15]

i think this is very irresponsible. Pregnancy should never be consider a game.

[Vespertine 31]

While I agree with the majority of the posters and feel that swinging with the intent to get pregnant is in VERY poor taste (not to mention dangerous) ---

I don't feel that they would be taking advantage of or stealing a man's DNA if he in fact chose to go "bareback" in the first place.

 

Now if the couple told the man that the woman was infertile or on BC---

That would be stealing.

But really, would you be THAT trusting to someone that you just met?

Believe everything they tell you to be true?

No, I don't think anyone with half a brain would.

 

If this scenerio happened at all (and I don't think it did, thank God), they stole nothing from this man.

He made the choice to not protect himself.

By not using protecton he's already chosen to sire a child or contract an STD.

 

The thing that makes me most sick is---

What kind of couple would try to get pregnant by a man with so little regard for himself?

This couple is choosing not only to get pregnant, but to possibly infect themselves & the unborn baby with an STD.

That's just WRONG.

[Eroica 15]

It happens in single life every day. I would not be surprised that a small percentage in the lifestyle population would find it exciting to try. However, we vote in the majority on this one.

[n02deep 15]

Getting pregnant without someone's knowledge/consent is a very touchy issue no matter how you look at it. Whether you're a single woman or a married partner it is never a good road to travel. I don't believe that any woman should get pregnant by a man without his express concious consent. It is unfair and really just plain F***ed Up that women do it for whatever reason and that society doesn't do anything about it.

 

Being a married couple and thinking you will be together forever and everything will be alright is fine BUT it is not a guarantee in any way. The odds are just not in your favor these days. I never dreamed in a all my life that the day would ever come that I would realize that a divorce would be an option to me, but it happened.

 

What will the reprocusions be for this child if things change in the relationship? The possiblities of the child suffering at some point in the future is regretably high. It doesn't have to be a divorce even. It could be something as careless as an arguement seemingly out of ear's reach where the dark secret is revealed to the child.

 

Legally, the woman could go after the "donor" man at any point for child support. Unfortunately in this country, the courts do not look at the circumstances whatsoever, just the fact that a man has been proven to be the father of a child and must now support it. I know, I'm dealing with such an issue right now. Only difference is that this particular woman is just a lazy b**** that wants a meal ticket and will never provide the home for this child that a loving couple could. The child looses.

 

I better get off of this subject before I fill this BB up with one post.

 

Good luck to you in the road you must travel. You have some serious decisions to make about whether you're honest to this child about how it was concieved or if you plan to try and take the secret to the grave with you.

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

Posted by hotCouple:

I am not a man, b ut can you imagine lloking at this child every day & knowing he is not yours? Knowing that some other mans blood is running through him? I think after a while there might be some resentment.

 

Maybe in the context of swinging. I'm not sure.

But I am a step dad to a beautiful daughter and I don't think that way.

[HotCoupleGnS 21]

Vespertine said:

While I agree with the majority of the posters and feel that swinging with the intent to get pregnant is in VERY poor taste (not to mention dangerous) ---

I don't feel that they would be taking advantage of or stealing a man's DNA if he in fact chose to go "bareback" in the first place.

 

Now if the couple told the man that the woman was infertile or on BC---

That would be stealing.

But really, would you be THAT trusting to someone that you just met?

Believe everything they tell you to be true?

No, I don't think anyone with half a brain would.

 

If this scenario happened at all (and I don't think it did, thank God), they stole nothing from this man.

He made the choice to not protect himself.

By not using protection he's already chosen to sire a child or contract an STD.

 

The thing that makes me most sick is---

What kind of couple would try to get pregnant by a man with so little regard for himself?

This couple is choosing not only to get pregnant, but to possibly infect themselves & the unborn baby with an STD.

That's just WRONG.

 

I have totally disagreed with this all along. But Vespertine, I do agree with you on this one. If he did choose to go bareback, just b/c, & it wasn't b/c the couple lied to him saying they are on BC or infertile, then he knew what chances he was taking. I am not saying that he deserved it. I am saying that he should have protected himself. If he had done that, then this couple couldn't have taken advantage of him.

[Guest tere]

now that gives swinging a bad name.

[Jenny&Thomas 15]

Since I am not on the pill, we always use condoms with other couples. From time to time the male part of the other couple tries to persuade me to go bareback, even if he knows that i am not on the pill. I have to admit that from time to time - if the guy is very nice and charming - I am of course tempted to go without, but I am in love with my hubby and would never allow another man to make me pregnant.

 

ever tempted?... yes, but it will never happen!

 

Jenny

[TeamSoBe 36]

Wow I have never even considered this. My wife and I have had some encounters with some very affluent couples and I noticed that they are always very interested in my wife's plans for children. Always one of the screening questions. I never really made the connection as to why they would be so concerned but that totally makes sense now.

[onenosbest 31]

We both got fixed so we would never end up in this situation..

[lauriern 16]

Yeah, this is one of those weird ideas you hear from guys who want to "breed" their wives to "bulls," particularly black bulls. Or women who should be in therapy and not the lifestyle. It's stupid ideas like this that give swinging a bad name.

 

If you are really serious, go to a sperm bank where they screen donors.

[lovers 25]

Yeah, this is one of those weird ideas you hear from guys who want to "breed" their wives to "bulls," particularly black bulls. Or women who should be in therapy and not the lifestyle. It's stupid ideas like this that give swinging a bad name.

 

It's weird, but you have no idea how many e-mails we get asking if I (the male half of this couple) would "breed" someone's wife. I used to think that this was some sort of kink and the wife was really on the pill or something, but I see all sorts of ads from couples and women who are looking to do this. I can only conclude that some of these are serious.

[Sandy & Allen 15]

Need I say more! Who wants to get caught up in something like that without even knowing it.!

[lovers 25]

Need I say more! Who wants to get caught up in something like that without even knowing it.!

 

One thing to consider. There are guys who don't care because they are only interested in getting their rocks off.

[zebrahead7557 15]

YUK,YUK,YUK.

 

As a married woman, that scares me to know that there are sneaky people out there doing this. When have ran into a guy before that kept rambling on about my "genes" & proceeded to ask if I had any kids yet. We told him to get lost.This is one reason why I make sure my husband has 2 to 3 sometimes more condoms on hand before he is with another woman. Also, even though I ALWAYS use condoms, by me not being able to use the pill, I won't have sex when I am ovulating just in case it breaks.