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Hi. Very first post here, and most definitely a total newbie couple to swinging. We've talked about it several times and had some MFM play. However, we are planning to go to Trapeze in Atlanta Halloween weekend. My question is for anyone who has ever been there. Is it a good swinging club, is there generally a decent amount of people there, and are most people pretty open to newbies?

Thanks in advance!!

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We have been to the Trapeze in Florida. I bet Trapeze Atlanta is just as good. I imagine it will be swamped for Halloween. Being a newbie is different, but you will get your feet wet. Some lifestylers do not like newbies (drama). We welcome them.  

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Hello all,

 

After 36 years of successful marriage, we finally decided to explore the lifestyle. It is mutual decision to go very slow and see where it takes us... Ironically, we did to decide to visit Trapeze ATL on Halloween night :-) which is Saturday (couples only) and I have general question.

 

Thursdays are "newbies nights" where the expectations are perhaps on the low end which is perfect, and yet, single man are allowed. She (albeit 54y old) is extremely attractive and for sure will be more or less intimidated or at least overwhelmed, if you know what I mean. While I do not have insecurities, I don’t want to put her in situation where she might feel uncomfortable.

 

So... which night y'all recommend?

Edited by BlueDream
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We are very experienced swingers. First, the four way match is elusive. It is hard to get all four members of two couples to be satisfied with the match ups. That said, most of our  early experiences were couple swaps. If that appeals to both of you, go on couples only night. 
 

Some couples prefer threesomes with the couple having a male or female third. The males are much more available than single females. If that is your preference, go on a night where they allow single males. 

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Thank you for your reply.

 

At this stage, we have not defined “preferences”, but rather “let see where this might take us” …

 

We married at early age – I was 24, she 17 and around fifth year of marriage had an accidental threesome with female friend of hers from college. It was not planned, just happened and was mixed bag of feelings – guilt, shame, excitement, the “now what” question etc. Now I realize what a major mistake we made not communicating, we just kept pretending that nothing happened.

 

Few months ago, when I’ve discovered this web site, I started looking at this past experience from different perspective and brought the topic more than once. I cannot say that she was overly exited to discuss, but said she is open to “explore”, and this is where we are now.

Edited by BlueDream
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Last time we went, we felt is a bit a run down compared to its hayday.

 

Water we are in Marietta if you want to talk

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At this stage, we have not defined “preferences”, but rather “let see where this might take us” …

Quote

I cannot say that she was overly exited to discuss, but said she is open to “explore”, and this is where we are now.

Before you go any further, you absolutely need to define your preferences and limits. Her definition of 'where this might take us' could, and probably is, very different from yours. These things need to be talked about and agreed upon before you go to any club. Set your rules and limits and do not violate them. They can (and probably will) evolve, but you should never exceed them without the two of you talking about them in a non-sexual situation (never 'I thought she was indicating it was okay to go further' in a sexual situation...she probably isn't indicating that). Also if she isn't 'too excited to discuss' things with you, then you need to make her feel comfortable enough (as in able to trust you enough) to talk about this (and anything/everything). Trust is absolutely VITAL to be successful swingers. Once you are closer to having complete trust, love, and excellent communication, THEN you can think about heading out to the club. Good luck and let us know how things go for you two.

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Watermelon Jolly, I am sorry for “hijacking” the thread you’ve started, but I believe the advices here are of great value for noobs…

 

GoldCoCouple, your advices just come to show the value of Internet when serious topics are discussed in serious manner 😊.

 

As of ”…not too excited to discuss…” I worded this incorrectly for this particular case. For 36 years together I’ve learned that when comes to ANY discussion about her personal feelings she “pleads the fifth.” She is naturally introvert and rare she opens up about internal struggles. I don’t think this case is any different. For example, few months ago the threesome we had long time ago was brought by me and when I asked “how come we never discussed what happened back then”, she (being tipsy), said “Well, If I have said I did not like it, would be a lie, had I said I liked it, you might though I am turning a lesbian and so, I elected not to say anything…”

 

I have been cruising this forum for a long time and discovered dynamics in the relationships I’ve never thought might exist. I think every member (part of a couple) have personal and shared motives to enter the lifestyle and I am no different.

 

We are both on HRT – I am prostate cancer survivor, she had radical hysterectomy, thus both of us are unable to produce natural sex hormones and elected to undergo Hormonal Replacement Therapy with excellent result. While she “looks and feels” like 20 years old, I am not so, but me been (almost) 60 and in excellent visual shape (6 pack and all), erections are not near as good or prolonged as used to be. I am mentioning my age to emphasize on the fact that lately I am looking on the life (or what’s left of it) a little more on the philosophical side that material and so, while not depressed at all, I feel that the no one deserves to go through what I went through in sense of questioning my place as physical partner and I openly communicated those feelings with her. My point is that just because “the thing happened to me” should not be a reason for her to be deprived from the joy of a good multi-orgasmic sexual act.

 

As for the upcoming visit to Trapeze – fun fact: I told her that I leave the “GO-NO GO” decision to her and if there is even 1% chance she would agree because “You want to” i.e. take one for the team, lets be NO GO and that’s it! Well, she bought a little red dress and surprised me last night 😊. I have no reason to doubt her decision.

 

From this prospective I think (but might be wrong), “let see where this might take us” is a natural progression to where we started just after Christmas, when I first brought the topic of swinging, when she said “Don’t you think we are a little old for something like that? If it was 20 years ago…”

 

Again, input of seasoned swingers will be highly valued because I naturally question myself if I am jeopardizing otherwise perfect relationships. Y’all know your reached harmony when start finishing each other’s sentences and not ask her if the color of your shirt matches her outfit 😊

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