My wife and her boyfriend are about to have a baby together but there's a little problem

[Phil and Angel 17]

I found this site quite recently. Glad that I did. It makes me happy to know there's others out there who live this kind of life. But as the title says, I have a little concern if anyone is willing to help out.

 

As I write this, my wife and I have been together for a total of ten years. We have two kids. Years ago I gave my wife the OK that she could have sex with another guy as long as she was open and honest about it with me. She's a romantic. She didn't want flings or one night stands but an actual relationship. Enter my wife's friend Pauline and her husband August. They too have two kids of their own. Turns out Pauline and August had tried their hand at swinging but found out it wasn't for them.

 

There was an attraction between August and Angel that Pauline and me noticed and encouraged. We made it clear to them we did not mind and were OK with it. They became a 'faithful couple'. Aside from me and Pauline, they have no other partners. We also didn't have threesomes. Sometimes Angel would spend the night at Pauline and August's and sometimes August would spend the night at our place. Pauline and me also grew close. We have sex with each other but we are not as romantically attached as compared to our respective spouses.

 

They were 'together' for two years when we made the decision to cohabit in one house. We became a household with four parents and four kids. The four kids get along fine and we the adults come off as really good uncles and aunts. And yes they have been taught that Angel and August's relationship is different from the rest. Angel and August though act as much like husband and wife as we do.

 

Months ago Angel and August told us it was time they have a baby. They wanted a fruit of their love and even said they wanted three. Pauline and me were both happy to know they've come to that decision. The former more so than I ever thought possible. Pauline really loved the idea of my wife getting pregnant with her husband's child and joined them in the first of many threesomes to assist in the impregnation. Pauline didn't fuck August but she would suck him hard. But she surprised everyone when she kissed and licked Angel's pussy to get her wet. (Neither she nor my wife have ever hinted at being bi and beyond that, nothing sexual has happened between them.) Pauline would further help by guiding August's cock inside Angel's wet pussy. She would then talk dirty to them and urge August on to cum and knock up Angel.

 

My wife soon started feeling nauseous and vomiting. Pauline and me brought her three home pregnancy tests but it was a doctor's appointment with August that confirmed she was carrying August's baby. I don't know just how to explain the feeling but there's is just something wonderful seeing my wife's belly grow with another man's child. My wife is now 33 weeks pregnant with hers and August's third child. Our kids know who is the father of the unborn. They know they're only half-siblings but they're excited and simply love running their little hands over Angel's growing belly. 

 

Now here lies my current conundrum. A friend of ours actually brought it up as a joke and we feel stupid to have not considered this at all. So pardon me for having to ask this and if this comes off as a stupid question. Whose last name do we give the baby and who signs the birth certificate as the father, me or August? I mean I am most willing to give the baby my name and write my name on the certificate. But so is August. I actually think August should be it.

[couplers 4,143]

As you know, I/we in our poly family have been there, done that and it has been good for us adults and the children.

 

2 hours ago, Phil and Angel said:

Whose last name do we give the baby

The mother's.

 

2 hours ago, Phil and Angel said:

who signs the birth certificate as the father

Neither, put down "father unknown".

[HerSweetness 141]

Probably doesn’t know because they just joined today and this is their first post. Seems odd to post a story like this as your first post, IMO. 

[kittyswinger 254]

I think it will depend on the laws of your state or country. Since both of you are married, i think the default is your last name since your wife carries yours (i assume). Since you are accepting, if I'm in your shoes, I will let the baby use your name to avoid all the trouble your wife might experience because of this.

 

There are some places I know that if a married woman uses a last name for her baby other than hers or her husband, they will automatically consider the father in the document and the mother as in common law relationship, and separated from the original husband. It could only be in paper but that is how the govt will treat you onwards (which will impact your taxes, properties, etc). If you want it to be simpler, try exploring Coupler's suggestion if it is legally possible in your place.

 

In my case, it is easier. My SO, the partner who I lived with, and I are not married but my child's last name with him uses his. If ever I will have a child with my bf, I will put him as the father because that is his wish being single. Last name to be used is my bf's. There will be some paper work to be done afterwards to correct the status if I wish it or we can try a different arrangement while raising the baby. It is not that complicated than if you are married.

 

 

[barefoot_so_goo 46]

7 hours ago, couplers said:

The mother's.

 

Neither, put down "father unknown".

Couples I have helped have taken this approach. I'm grateful the first couple had done their homework and explained how this all worked.

[Phil and Angel 17]

7 hours ago, couplers said:

As you know, I/we in our poly family have been there, done that and it has been good for us adults and the children.

 

The mother's.

 

Neither, put down "father unknown".

May I ask why though for clarity?

 

6 hours ago, HerSweetness said:

Seems odd to post a story like this as your first post, IMO. 

I don't know. I just didn't know how else to ask without giving some background. 

 

2 hours ago, kittyswinger said:

Since both of you are married, i think the default is your last name since your wife carries yours (i assume). Since you are accepting, if I'm in your shoes, I will let the baby use your name to avoid all the trouble your wife might experience because of this.

Yes my wife does carry my name. Thank you for your advice.

[couplers 4,143]

2 minutes ago, Phil and Angel said:

May I ask why though for clarity?

Several reasons.  The most important is the concept that among us we are all parents to the children regardless of maternity or paternity.  The children call us women/men "mom/dad" or by our first names when they need to distinguish.  We women thought it was especially important not to have the guys discerning paternity, but it became clear immediately that they care for the children regardless of who the father is.

 

Same for the last names.  I didn't change my name when I got married.  With my first I didn't know during my pregnancy who of the two guys in our family was the father so I decided to use my last name, as did Clair although we knew hubby was the father.  (As a matter of fact, I was certain that the father of my child was Red but it turned out to be hubby.)  And it's the flip side of the coin with the kids.  Although they will know who their bio father is, I wanted to set the precedent from the beginning that they will never give either man who is lovingly raising them any "Your not my daddy!" shit.

[Phil and Angel 17]

15 minutes ago, couplers said:

Several reasons.  The most important is the concept that among us we are all parents to the children regardless of maternity or paternity.  The children call us women/men "mom/dad" or by our first names when they need to distinguish.  We women thought it was especially important not to have the guys discerning paternity, but it became clear immediately that they care for the children regardless of who the father is.

 

Same for the last names.  I didn't change my name when I got married.  With my first I didn't know during my pregnancy who of the two guys in our family was the father so I decided to use my last name, as did Clair although we knew hubby was the father.  (As a matter of fact, I was certain that the father of my child was Red but it turned out to be hubby.)  And it's the flip side of the coin with the kids.  Although they will know who their bio father is, I wanted to set the precedent from the beginning that they will never give either man who is lovingly raising them any "Your not my daddy!" shit.

This is all sound advice. I will definitely bring this up to the others. Thank you, couplers.

[Phil and Angel 17]

Update:

 

Hello everyone. Pauline here, wife of August, lover of Phil and dear friend of Angel.

The last few weeks having been filled with excitement and anticipation. The kids took every chance they could at rubbing Angel’s belly and talking to the unborn. I had a fun time teasing Angel and Phil about how Angel was carrying my husband’s child inside her, that she was spreading August’s genes instead of her own husband’s. We all get a good laugh from it. I have to say I enjoyed watching Angel get big with my husband’s baby.
 

Angel’s third pregnancy finally came to an end four days ago when she gave birth to a little girl. The birth happened without a hitch thankfully. The baby is a little replica of her mother with clear bits from her father. Due to the virus, Angel could only be accompanied by one person in the hospital. We all agreed it would be August.
 

Needless to say, we all love the new little one. We considered the advice given to us when it came to what name the baby would take. In the end we let Angel have the final decision and she decided for the baby to have August’s name.

 

To everyone who reads this, I hope you stay healthy. Please keep safe.

[adamgunn 1,456]

Congratulations!

 

And who is listed on the birth certificate as the father?

[Phil and Angel 17]

5 hours ago, adamgunn said:

Congratulations!

 

And who is listed on the birth certificate as the father?

Thanks.

 

August is listed as the father. Again that was Angel’s decision.

[couplers 4,143]

Congratulations!  Now comes the work and the joy.  Revel in it.

[Phil and Angel 17]

5 hours ago, couplers said:

Congratulations!  Now comes the work and the joy.  Revel in it.

Angel here. Thanks. Children are hard work but we’re happy to have them. We’re already reveling in it. ?

[kittyswinger 254]

Congrats! I'm happy it is working out well for you all. I'm also a little anxious as certainly my relationship is going in that direction too.

 

[Phil and Angel 17]

21 hours ago, kittyswinger said:

Congrats! I'm happy it is working out well for you all. I'm also a little anxious as certainly my relationship is going in that direction too.

 

Thanks. We hope everything works out for the best for you.