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  1. #1
    Sunny...For Your Pleasure sunbuckus's Avatar
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    Default Is it possible to be too dressy?

    Quote Originally Posted by JAPrufrock View Post
    See, the last couple I overdressed for, and I think I made the other wife feel bad. She wasn't dressed like a slob by any means, but I was a little... sexier, I guess (which is funny because hardly any skin was showing.) It was just kinda awkward.
    This is something you'll have to reconcile for yourself. Do you want to dress down to make others feel less uncomfortable or do you want to look your sexiest, no matter what? As I've said, the majority of the time, I'd rather overdress because I'm putting in the effort to look my best. I'm sure it's made other ladies feel like slobs but to me they should put some effort into making themselves look good, too. Exactly the same for the men. We've met with couples where the men didn't put any effort at all into looking attractive and it's a total turn-off. This is almost like "couples dating". If you were single and in the dating world, you'd want to put your best foot forward and make the best impression possible, right? And I would think the other couple does as well. So what's different about this situation? And we haven't even addressed the sex aspect the situation.

    The only time this gets tricky is when you go to the other couple's house and they are usually in house clothes. But as I said, we do things backwards and usually go out to dinner then swing for "dessert". For those occasions, I still wear a dress but it's more of a casual one.
    We've all got "junk", mine just happens to be in the trunk. Actually, it's everywhere except for the headlights!


  2. #2
    Swingers Board Addict JAPrufrock's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rude to have other plans after a first date?

    I like this. I didn't regret dressing up, per se. What I need to do is figure out a way to slightly dress it down with accessories. Not sure If that's even possible. It's the same one I wore to the meet and greet and some drunk idiot outside of the bar made a comment about prom. While he could go fuck himself as I looked fabulous, the dress is rather dressy.
    MEEOW!

  3. #3
    Sunny...For Your Pleasure sunbuckus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rude to have other plans after a first date?

    I remember one time when we went to a swingers club and I took noticed of a couple because they were dressed up nicely. The man was wearing slacks, a dress shirt, and tie. He caught my eye because it wasn't the norm and I think that look is classy on men. If I were a man, I'd probably dress that way. However, Mr. Sun doesn't because he hates ties so he wears a dress shirt, no tie, and nice jeans. Since that is the typical swinger male dress code, he doesn't stand out in a bad way but he also might not catch any additional female attention by dressing that way. Will some women get turned off by such dressy attire? Yes, but it also depends on if you want to appeal to the largest possible audience or focus on a smaller group of people who feel similar to how you feel. It's similar to couples who prefer friends first or only want to engage in BDSM. If how you like to dress turns off people, chances are you probably wouldn't want to play with them in the first place. Casual dressers are probably more comfortable with those that dress the same and the same for those that like to dress more upscale.

    Does that mean that the two can't mix? Of course not but first impressions are hard to undo and I'm in the camp of making ourselves as alluring as possible.
    We've all got "junk", mine just happens to be in the trunk. Actually, it's everywhere except for the headlights!

  4. #4
    Swingers Board Guide SW_PA_Couple's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it possible to be too dressy?

    It is not possible to be too well dressed. There is one swingers' club near here that has a "no denim jeans" policy for their Saturday evening parties. We like that.
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  5. #5

    Default Re: Is it possible to be too dressy?

    I almost always wear dresses in swing situations because I like to. I prefer people be overdressed than sloppy, but I understand some people are more comfortable casual. How you feel comfortable and sexy and what your husband likes are the most important things in my opinion.

    It would be fine to send a message to the wife of the couple you are meeting to ask if she knows what she's wearing. If she doesn't know you can say what you are planning. It can be a little awkward to be dressed at opposite extremes.
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  6. #6

    Default Re: Is it possible to be too dressy?

    We always dress up for dates, sometimes we are overdressed. That doesn't bother me because I can be sure that if a connection is not made it is definitely not because we don't take care with our appearance. One less thing to worry about.

  7. #7
    Swingers Board Addict JAPrufrock's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it possible to be too dressy?

    ok, so does the venue change anything? They want to meet at a neighborhood bar kinda place, which is fine by us, but now I'm not so sure about dressing up.
    MEEOW!

  8. #8
    Sunny...For Your Pleasure sunbuckus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it possible to be too dressy?

    I like funcouple's suggestion to ask the other wife what she is planning on wearing. That way, even if the venue is a place where you aren't sure of how to dress, then at least you know of one other person/couple that will be dressed similarly to you.

    As for a neighborhood bar place, it really depends on the bar. Some are more classy than others.
    We've all got "junk", mine just happens to be in the trunk. Actually, it's everywhere except for the headlights!

  9. #9
    Don't Forget to Smile!! kikonkrome's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it possible to be too dressy?

    Quote Originally Posted by JAPrufrock View Post
    I like this. I didn't regret dressing up, per se. What I need to do is figure out a way to slightly dress it down with accessories. Not sure If that's even possible. It's the same one I wore to the meet and greet and some drunk idiot outside of the bar made a comment about prom. While he could go fuck himself as I looked fabulous, the dress is rather dressy.
    You know haters gonna hate wherever you go. We always dress a little more up for an environment than down.

    I get positive and negative comments from strangers in regards to how I look all the time. The weirdest was a few weeks ago at a biker bar, some guy said something about my size. Not really sure what the hell he was talking about as the place was filled with big guys in intimidating black leather. I have had similar comments though in business environments where people should know better.

    I do think some people just don't know how to start a positive conversation, or don't realize nobody cares about their opinion.

    Quote Originally Posted by sunbuckus View Post
    Will some women get turned off by such dressy attire?
    The only thing I know about women is that I can not keep up with what they all find sexy or not.

    Quote Originally Posted by SW_PA_Couple View Post
    It is not possible to be too well dressed. There is one swingers' club near here that has a "no denim genes" policy for their Saturday evening parties. We like that.
    I think that has become a dated fashion thing. I for one am pretty happy I do not have to wear slacks or Dockers to be dressed up anymore. I think the fashion has changed so that a high end pair of designer jeans looks a lot better than a pair of khaki slacks.

    I have only recently come to the conclusion/realization that how you dress is an expression of how you feel about yourself and the people around you. Do you care about yourself and them to appear in the best possible light? It is also an opportunity to express a bit of your personality. Do you care enough about details to get your clothes to fit right (maybe this is more of a business thing). All this stuff says something about you, and this is your opportunity to tell the world.

    Finally, when either member of the couple doesn't put their best foot forward things are not going to go well. That's our opinion. Have we had exceptions to this, meh kinda?!? It certainly has become a factor in whether we want to see them again. It also is always a factor in how sexy the evening/encounter is going to be.

    So my vote is always to dress at the higher end of the venue you are attending.


  10. #10

    Default Re: Is it possible to be too dressy?

    I too always wear dresses in swing situations, and dresses come in so many styles and shapes that I can usually find one to fit the occasion. If we are going out to dinner first or meeting at a bar, it's easy for me to figure out how dressy the place is. The best thing about dresses though is that I can always not wear panties and up the sexiness factor!

    I think it's a bit more difficulty for guys. Mr. A definitely goes with what Sunbuckus calls the typical swinger male dress code. He doesn't like to stick out from the crowd and I understand that. I think what I look in guys is clean and neat clothes that are color-coordinated. One of my strange habit is I always check out a guy's shoes. Doesn't matter how well dressed he is, but if he's wearing sneakers, it's turn-off for me.

  11. #11

    Default Re: Is it possible to be too dressy?

    I dress for me and for my hubby, whether it's too dressy, too sexy, or whatever. What else matters?

  12. #12
    Don't Forget to Smile!! kikonkrome's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it possible to be too dressy?

    This is Kiko here! I've got one specific glammed up look: smokey eye, false lashes, short single button coat dress open showing red bra, red heels . . . and each time I've rocked it . . . NOTHING. It begged me to ask, can you be too glam??

  13. #13
    Sunny...For Your Pleasure sunbuckus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it possible to be too dressy?

    Quote Originally Posted by kikonkrome View Post
    This is Kiko here! I've got one specific glammed up look: smokey eye, false lashes, short single button coat dress open showing red bra, red heels . . . and each time I've rocked it . . . NOTHING. It begged me to ask, can you be too glam??
    Hi, Kiko! It's great to see the female half of kikokrome here. And that sounds like a fabulous look! I don't think you can be too glam but you will knock some socks off!
    We've all got "junk", mine just happens to be in the trunk. Actually, it's everywhere except for the headlights!

  14. #14

    Default Re: Is it possible to be too dressy?

    Quote Originally Posted by kikonkrome View Post
    This is Kiko here! I've got one specific glammed up look: smokey eye, false lashes, short single button coat dress open showing red bra, red heels . . . and each time I've rocked it . . . NOTHING. It begged me to ask, can you be too glam??
    Kiko. You may look fantastic... But yes... In my opinion you can be too glam. I want someone who just oozes class and looks natural. They can be in nothing but at t-shirt and gym shorts and have that look. Sometimes glam just looks fake. This is just my take... Not necessarily right.

  15. #15

    Default Re: Is it possible to be too dressy?

    I think when a women is really rocking something, just flat out killing it, some guys might be a bit intimidated in a "I'm not worthy" sort of way and may let their shyness convince them it's best to just admire from afar. That's not your problem though, it's theirs, so if it makes you feel good to be wearing that, then absolutely, go for it!
    Not all those who wander are lost

  16. #16

    Default Re: Is it possible to be too dressy?

    If the venue or event doesn't imply how we should dress, we ask. One piece of advice we were given was to ask the other couple about dress, hygiene, and preferences up front. For instance, if one of them is allergic to scents, skipping cologne is a good idea. My default is dress shoes, slacks, and a Henley shirt. I have no problems putting on a button down shirt, or wearing a suit (preferably without a tie), however. But I have broad shoulders and a deep chest and the Henley makes them "pop."

  17. #17

    Default Re: Rude to have other plans after a first date?

    Quote Originally Posted by JAPrufrock View Post
    I like this. I didn't regret dressing up, per se. What I need to do is figure out a way to slightly dress it down with accessories. Not sure If that's even possible. It's the same one I wore to the meet and greet and some drunk idiot outside of the bar made a comment about prom. While he could go fuck himself as I looked fabulous, the dress is rather dressy.
    If people think you are heading to prom... you might be overdressed. I think it comes down to dressing to impress but also dressing for the occasion. I try to dress nice when meeting others or when going to a club, but I would feel uncomfortable if we met up with a couple and the guy was in a suit or the woman was in a her Sunday best (or a dress that looked like she should be attending a formal dinner of some sort).
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  18. #18

    Default Re: Is it possible to be too dressy?

    Quote Originally Posted by kikonkrome View Post
    This is Kiko here! I've got one specific glammed up look: smokey eye, false lashes, short single button coat dress open showing red bra, red heels . . . and each time I've rocked it . . . NOTHING. It begged me to ask, can you be too glam??
    I'd say yes to some degree. There are those women who the combination of make-up, fake hair, eye lashes, etc while it makes them look really hot, makes them look untouchable at the same time. Like "she's really hot but she'd kick my ass if I touched her hair." Thus she appears high maintenance, and that adds another layer to the discussion. If she's that high maintenance in her look, is she also going to be that high maintenance in bed (impossible to please)?
    The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

  19. #19

    Default Re: Is it possible to be too dressy?

    not at all , while swingers are generally nude , the clothing industry employs alot of people and gives the wearer a creative outlet...

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