Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'open minded'.
Found 4 results
-
As I've made pretty clear here, my wife has simply lost the desire for sex. Everything else in our marriage is great but she just doesn't want sex anymore. We experimented with swinging years ago so it's not like having sex with someone besides each other is going to harm the marriage, we've proven that. So I have to wonder about the possibility of finding a couple like us, only it's the husband who no longer wants sex, and find relief that way? Hey, just had another thought. My wife absolutely loves Disney World. She gets an annual pass every year and she and her sister even spend a week every December at a Disney resort. I don't particularly like Disney but will go with her a few times a year just for her. Well now, if we found a couple about our age with a husband who isn't interested in sex but loves Disney and a wife who is still needing some sex but couldn't care less about Disney? And, of course, all agreed. My wife and the husband could go spend the day in the 'G' and 'PG' world of Disney while the other wife and I take care of some 'R' and 'X' needs of our own.
-
Hi everyone. I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask this but I really don't know where else to turn. I was wondering if anyone has any advice on how to get my husband to open up to the idea of me sleeping with other men. I feel like I missed out on a big part of my sex life. I'm 27 years old and I've only slept with two people. My husband and my boyfriend in high school. I'm not saying this is a bad thing, I understand there are probably lots of women who would be happy with that. And I'm not saying that I want to be a total slut and just sleep around with lots of guys. It's just that this is not how I pictured my sex life would be. When I went to college I had this list of things I wanted to experience and I never did any of them. I met my husband my freshman year and we dated through all four years of college and got married after we graduated. When we first started dating everything just seemed so much more wild and free. My husband was the first (and only) guy that I've watched porn with. We had sex in public a lot. And we talked about our fantasies all the time. We even did role-playing during sex. I won't say that I expected that we would be swingers, but he knew my fantasies before we were married and I guess I thought that fulfilling these fantasies together by inviting others into our bedroom would be part of our marriage. He wants nothing to do with any of it though and he doesn't even like talking about my fantasies anymore. I almost feel like that the man I married is not the man I dated. I realize all married couples go through slumps in their sex life, but it is more than that. The more I want to spice things up the more he wants to keep them the same. When we were dating and I would tell him some of my fantasies he would say that it really turned him on. He even asked me several times if I would ever go through with them. When I said that I would he would tell me how hot I was. But now it's like he forgot all of that. I don't want to divorce my husband but I don't know that I can go the rest of my life without fulfilling at least some of my fantasies. What do I do?
-
I've been having this discussion with friends and I thought I'd bring it here. The discussion is regarding the meaning of the use "open-minded" in swinger ads. I've long seen it as a cliche term in swinger ads, with the thought that all swingers are "open minded", to a degree, when it comes to sex. Describing yourselves as open-minded is like saying you are "attractive" or that you don't want "drama". They are all subjective terms, that often get thrown around in ads simply because everyone else uses them. New couple sees terminology in 80% of other ads out there and comes to identify with it so they use it in their own ad, and so on without ever really stopping to think about what it actually means. However, it was recently pointed out that for some "open minded" or at least "sexually open minded" is really just a euphemism for saying that they are into male-male bisexuality. I know Chicup has said that here in the past in a tongue-in-cheek way under thread of "what people mean when they really say...", but now I'm wondering if that is the underlying "meaning" for those "in the know" (ie. other couples who are open to male-male play but not willing to be straight-forward about it). And, if so, where does that leave all the poor innocent folks who are just using the term thinking it means they are open to new ideas.... Thoughts? What does it mean to you when you read "open minded? Or better yet, what are you trying to convey when you use the term in your ad?
-
THIS IS A PURELY PHILOSOPHICAL THREAD. AS IN ALL THINGS PHILOSOPHICAL, THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG ANSWER - JUST DIFFERING PERSPECTIVES. The thread The swinging industry needs to be less homophobic to men has brought up a common question/misperception about the lifestyle. Started as a discussion about alternative sexual choices, the assertion has been made that swingers are not particularly "open minded". This has been made, I think, without anyone really discussing what it means to be "open-minded". The point has been made on this site before that we are not - as swingers - more "open-minded" than the rest of the population. I am not so sure about that. And I think we might "disagree" only as a matter of degrees - or one of definitions. What does it mean to be "open-minded"? The way this accusation is commonly leveled is that we are not accepting - to the point of being closely involved with - another persons sexual choices; i.e. we don't want it around us. If that is truly the working definition than it is absolutely accurate as we ALL have things that we may not want to have around. Personally, I am not interested in dedicating a room in our club or house party to "breeder parties" or "coprophragia". I would suspect, though, that applying this definition would mean that there is literally no one who is truly "open-minded". But I prefer this definition: o·pen-mind·ed adj. Having or showing receptiveness to new and different ideas or the opinions of others. I think we are all very receptive to different ideas. And generally speaking we are a very tolerant group. For example, and I will use Mr Menage again, Mrs Spoo and I are not "poly". But we respect those who are and do not judge them or question their choices. We think people who can succeed at a polyamorous relationship are amazing. While it is not something that we would want to try - it is certainly something that we respect and accept as a valid lifestyle (and sexual) choice. By the definition above, we are quite "open-minded" towards those who are poly. That is an example. So - are we "open-minded" as a "culture" (of swingers) or not?
