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Showing results for tags 'inhibitions'.
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Alright! So about two weeks ago, my boyfriend and I for the first time ever visited a really great swingers club. We haven't had any other experience swinging wise, but we have been interested for a while. So on this night when we went to the club, we found a couple. The female half of the couple and I (also female) really clicked and were dancing and kissing most of the night. At some point we got disconnected with them, and later we found them by accident in one of the erotic rooms. We asked if we could take place next to them. We had told them already before that we are still new to this and weren't really sure how far we were willing to go this first evening, that we weren't really ready yet for any type of swap, but having sex next to each other and the females touching is okay. Which is what happened, but at some point, it felt like they really wanted more (but of course, didn't try to push us into anything, they were very very respectful) and we started to feel bad for not wanting to give more at this first time. Anybody else have any experience with this? I almost felt like we were too boring for them. Tonight, we are going to the same club again, and don't want to have this repeated situation. Would you all suggest to just move on fast to another space and don't spend too much time with the same couple because it will bore them?
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Hello, We've been in the lifestyle for about a year. We've really enjoyed it, and it's changed our lives for the better in countless ways. However, we're having some issues with the style of sex that lifestylers seem to want and expect from us. Perhaps we're a little vanilla in our own right, but neither of us have experienced the type of techniques as we have with the couples we've met in the lifestyle. After talking about it this morning, we thought that we would post this question to the swingersboard community and see if what we're experiencing is typical of swingers in general, typical of swingers in our area, or just a run of bad luck on our parts. Let me start by saying we're not judging anyone's style or technique. We fully understand that everyone has their way of doing things and that they do what they enjoy. It could be that lifestylers tend like it one way, and it's just not our thing. Please understand, we're also not saying EVERYONE does what I'm going to be describing, but it has been the most common technique. I'll get to the meat of things: We've been with about 15 couples in the past 11 months. It seems that the vast majority of the people we've been with like a faster style of sex. The best way to describe it is to compare it to what you would see in pornos. Go fast, go hard, and pound her until she's sore. We're both 40 and have both been with our share of partners. We both think we were good lovers and neither of us ever had any complaints. At the same time, neither of us had really experienced anything like this in the vanilla world. We both tend to prefer slower and sensual style of sex -- not that there's not a place for going faster on occasion, but it was never like it is in the lifestyle -- where I've had women pace me (moving my hips) at a quick clip from literally the first thrust. Mrs. O'swinger always felt she gave a good BJ, but the guys she's run into in the LS seem to want to (as she describes it) "f*** her face" -- thrusting quickly in and out of her mouth. She doesn't really care for that. It's all just a little too much for us. It's too fast and not very sensual. We find it animalistic and impersonal. We both feel a little out of our element. So, here's what we want to know: Is this the norm? Do you find that this is what most LS'ers want as well? Is this what you enjoy? We are NOT looking for advice on finding compatible couples. This is the first step in doing exactly that. We just want to get a handle on how common this is so we know how to approach getting what we want. If we hear that this is the preferred style of sex in the LS, we'll handle things one way; if we find it's just been a run of bad luck on our part, we'll handle it another. Thanks for the input!
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