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WesternSwing

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WesternSwing last won the day on December 24 2023

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About WesternSwing

  • Rank
    South of disorder
  • Birthday 06/29/1965

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Kinky, Polyamorous Partnered Male
  • Location
    Utah
  • Swinging Experience
    19

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  1. That's pretty cool. In my experience lesbians are more sexually fluid then gay men. My wife was in two long term relationships with another woman before we started dating. She said that many lesbian women she knew would say: "I don't need a man and I don't want to date one, but sometimes I just need some cock." But gay men don't want anything to do with pussy.
  2. I love it when these old threads come back around.
  3. There certainly are good single guys out there. In fact, there are some golden single guys out there. I've been friends with a couple single guys I met in the lifestyle for going on 20 years now. But, you'll wade through a lot of no-goes for sure. I don't know what swingers site you are on, but I would look at contacting some single guys yourself, and if you have the option to, I would filter by those only are certified, have photos, and have been active in the past 30 days or so.
  4. I don't get the race play thing, either. To me sex is sex, it doesn't matter what color someone's skin is. This doesn't discount attraction as people are attracted to who they are attracted to, and there is no accounting or explanation for that. I've always been amazed at who my partners have been attracted to, whether it's past lovers, spouses, current people they like fucking, whatever, because they don't "look" like me. We have a daughter who has dated White, Hispanic, and Asian men, but prefers Black men and is married to one. She is just more attracted to Black men than to others. And I get it, I'm more attracted to curvier women, redheads, and Hispanic women. Those women will turn my head for a second look more than others will. I have no idea why, either. It just is. But as you mentioned, the idea that one race is always "bigger" or "better" at fucking than another is just plain silly. I think the BBC thing plays into the taboo our society has built around Black men, and as you mentioned, many Black men use it to their advantage to get laid. But I've also read articles about this subject and many black men feel the strain of having to live-up to this image of the well-hung animalistic sex machine, when in fact they are just normal men like every other guy out there. One such article that sticks out in my head is this one: https://www.playboy.com/read/is-your-dildo-racist
  5. Oh, by no means did I mean to "school" anyone. I wrote that while having a dozen other things going on around me so my words were not well thought-out. A few hours later I went back and re-read what I had written and thought "Oooh... That wash harsh", but it was too late to edit my post. I think "hotwife" can be many things to many people. The classic definition is a wife "who has sexual relationships outside of her marriage, with the full knowledge and consent of her husband, who himself doesn't have affairs." But many husbands of hotwifes also have sex with other women besides their wife and he may still call his wife a "hotwife". I think it's really just a term to describe one type of non-monogamous activity. My personal view is that a woman doesn't have to be, nor are many, just a hotwife. I feel that hotwifing is one activity that couples engage in, along with hothusbanding, partner swapping, threesomes, cuckolding, gang bangs, etc. I think couples have many fantasies and interests and many move within all the different activities in open relationships as they explore. Most couples I know that have been in The Lifestyle a while do engage in many of the varied non-monogamous activities and don't stick in just one category. They may swap with another couple one week, she or he may go out on a date alone the next (hotwife or hothusband), they may have a threesome the next week, they may do some cuckold play the next. Wittol is just one of those terms that is very specific and I think gets confused and lumped-in with cuckolding, which is different in that a wittol doesn't care if his wife is fucking around. I think many companionship marriages are that way, where everything about the relationship is perfect, but they just don't have sex anymore, so the allow, or tolerate their partner getting sexual satisfaction elsewhere. Cucks get off on their wife's infidelities and the humiliation. In hotwifing the husband loves his wife's extramarital activities and encourages them, but there is no humiliation aspect to it. I haven't found a term for a female wittol, though, just a cuckquean. This should probably be a thread all it's own not attached to this topic.
  6. If we have never met someone we'll start with dinner or drinks and see if there is chemistry. I think THAT is the ice breaker. I think most people know within the first half hour of meeting someone if they are someone they want to fuck. But, some newbies like to take it slower, and I get that. It's all very daunting and when you are just wading into the pool the deep end looks very scary.
  7. Throughout my 20 years in The Lifestyle I can't think of a time that we didn't play on the first date. For us it's the whole reason we are there. However, we have not played with everyone we've met for a pre-fucking "date". Sometimes the chemistry just isn't there.
  8. I need to ask, as a former Swingersboard moderator, why this would be relevant to the discussion of swinging? True incite to what? What is the Also, why are we only addressing women cheating and not men? I think - and this is totally acceptable and okay - that you might have a bias here in that you are turned-on by the cheating wife scenario. Maybe a bit of cuckold or stag/vixen fantasies and this discussion is feeding into building that fantasy. And that's okay too. Just trying to get to the bottom of why the question was asked as there are existing topics on this board about cheating within swinging and if cheating brought a couple into the Lifestyle.
  9. Unfortunately anecdotal evidence is about as reliable as studies done regarding infidelity. I've seen studies claiming anywhere from 30% to 50% of women have cheated in long term relationships. I've also seen a study where men and women were asked if they would cheat if there was a 100% chance that they would never get caught, and 90% of both men and women said "yes". Overall, in my nearly 6 decades on this floating blue orb in space, I think that women cheat less than men. Women and men cheat for some similar, but also some different reasons. Men are horndogs and opportunists. We also get rather stupid around naked titties. Women tend to be more level headed about sex in general, and for the most part I don't think are as opportunistic as men. For the most part women have less opportunity to cheat as many are stay at home moms and have children with them 24/7. Most men don't have that obstacle to deal with. Interestingly enough, a study a few years ago about sexual desire in long term relationships inadvertently found that women require sexual variety more than men. It's always been thought that "men will be men" and need sexual variety. Most men in the study responded that even after 10 years they desired their wife as much as when they first hooked up, even if they had or were currently having an affair. However, women's desire for their husband diminished as the years went on. We hear this over and over from men in long term relationships, that their wife never wants to have sex. But those women that were happy in their marriages in every other respect, and that admitted to having affairs, reported a greatly increased desire for sex with their husband again. This seems to also hold with the old trope that men drag their wives into the Lifestyle, but the wives keep them in them in it. So overall my opinion is: Some women cheat, most don't. But women benefit from sexual variety more than men.
  10. First, discuss this with your wife as it has to be her fantasy also. If it is, discuss the rules of engagement. Then discuss them since more. Once you both are comfortable with how you want it to go down and what activities she’ll engage in with the other man. also, develop some contingency plans for when things go wrong, because they will. What seems really fucking hot when you’re horny, can produce a whole different set of feelings when you’re not. So you need to discuss in advance how you were going to handle potential problems and jealousy. Then create a profile on a swingers site and start messaging single men that you are interested in. My ex-wife and I always liked to meet new playmates in a public place for food or drinks and get the warm fuzzies with them. Some people will give you the eebie-jeebies and it will be a no-go. Others will be the golden ticket. But you BOTH have to be into him, not just you. It may be your fantasy to watch your wife fuck another man, but she’s the one fucking him. In fact, you’ll probably be surprised that who you would pick to see fuck her will not be who she picks to fuck her. Then, after all is said and done have a post mission discussion and talk about what was good, what was bad, what you’d like to do again, and what you’d change. Good luck in your adventures. P.S. Talk, talk, talk. You can’t have too much communication about this, before and after.
  11. I understand a wittol to be a man who knows of his wife’s extramarital affairs and tolerates them. Wittols don’t typically get involved. Wittols turn a blind eye to their wife’s infidelity. Wittols don’t get off on their wife fucking other men. Stags get off on their wife fucking others, whether they do it together or she sees others by herself. Stags also join in when they want. Stags can take an active or passive role in their wife fucking other men. Lastly, not all men who get off on their wife fucking other men are consider themselves stags, either. Some just like MFM threesomes or MFMF couple swapping.
  12. I used to feel that we wouldn't play with someone if they were cheating on their spouse. That was 20 years ago and another wife. Today, my thoughts about that have changed, and my wife feels the same way. We are not going to police anyone else's relationship, and we are not going to fault someone for looking for sex outside their marriage is their sexual needs are not being met within the marriage. When two people become monogamous they are making a pact to each other that they will meet all their partner's sexual needs (within reason) because they have agreed to not fuck anyone else. No one person should be able to unilaterally decide sexual frequency, activities, etc. But that happens often in long term relationships and may relationships move toward being more companionship than romantic. I think that this is where a couple needs to be honest with each other and if one partner is unwilling to meet their partner's sexual needs, they should allow them to seek satisfaction outside the marriage. But that doesn't often happen, if at all, and that's a diffrent post. And sometimes, when a relationship is good other than the sex, getting some elsewhere keeps them from going crazy and being resentful of their partner and keeps them together (which is why maybe they should be openly allowed to seek sex elsewhere. Again, another post.) Currently we are playing with an old friend of mine that is married and he and his wife are open. In fact I met them in the Lifestyle 20 years ago this year and my ex-wife and I played with them often. These days they are still married and still open, but he gets off on her playing by herself and loves to hear about her playtime with others (he's a bit of a cuck), and she has had a regular fuckbuddy for several years. She however does not like to hear about his extracurricular activities, so she is open with him, but prefers a DADT relationship regarding his adventures. The problem with playing with cheating men or women, or people with DADT situations, is that they are married and have responsibilities to their family, which means their playtime will be severely limited and may not always match with when you're available. For instance, our fuckbuddy is only available during the day when his wife is at work. Daytime is also our "money hours". My wife and I are self-employed, but when you're self-employed you wake up every morning unemployed. So we can make time for him, but it does take away from money making activities. He's salaried and works remotely, so he is making money while we are fucking. We aren't. We also watch a grandkid several days a week to help our daughter save money on daycare. So all this creates scheduling issues. They may also not be able to make a playdate if something comes up with their spouse and you'll get stood up. Throughout the decades that I've been in and out of the Lifestyle I've found this to without exception to be the case. You are going to be stood up, and stood up often by cheating spouses and people with DADT situations. If you're okay with that, then I say: Game On.
  13. I hadn't heard this. Al and I were not Facebook friends, but did converse via email some over the past decade that I haven't been super active here on The Board. This certainly explains why I've heard nothing back. I'm very saddened by this. Al was a wonderful, insightful, and intelligent man who also had a very high emotional intelligence quotient. the world will miss him.
  14. Not for me personally. I don't mind FMF threesomes, but I don't like being the center of attention like that. I am definitely a Pleasure Dom/Service Dom, so I get off by through my partners' pleasure. My orgasm is physically satisfying, but mental/emotional satisfaction comes from my partners' pleasure, and I need that to truly have a good time.
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