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My wife isn't into oral in general, she'd rather use her hand or feet. Would her not performing oral or no wanting oral on herself an issue for getting into the LS community? 

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I think it would be out of the ordinary. Other than kissing and intercourse, it’s one of the big three. 

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I wouldn't say it's a huge issue, but it may cut down on your play opportunities.  Everyone is entitled to have their rules and boundaries. The tighter they are though, the smaller the sea you will be fishing in.  Nothing wrong with that, just be upfront with people about where the limits are at and then they can decide whether they are compatible or not.

 

For us, it wouldn't be a total deal-breaker.  Even sex with each other may or may not involve oral foreplay. We can have satisfying sex without oral. No kissing, that is a rule that is a deal-breaker to us though.  I guess because we can't imagine intercourse without at least some kissing involved somewhere between start and finish.  Oral sex we can.

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On 12/29/2022 at 9:22 AM, northviking1992 said:

her not performing oral or no wanting oral on herself

I can understand not wanting to perform oral, but not wanting it done on her is strange.  Now that would disappoint me.

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As someone who loves giving and receiving oral, it's a bit confusing BUT boundaries are just that. At least she's being upfront and honest about it. I've had reservations about receiving oral myself, not because i don't enjoy it, but due to things I'm not ready to disclose here yet. If she's not ready to divulge why she truly doesn't enjoy giving/receiving, respect her and slowly talk on as to why she doesn't like either. In the end, that does make things a bit harder to find couples to play with, but respecting her wishes is more important than pushing her beyond what she's comfortable with. 

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On 12/29/2022 at 9:22 AM, northviking1992 said:

Would her not performing oral or no wanting oral on herself an issue for getting into the LS community? 

For me it wouldn't be an issue.

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Boundaries are boundaries and respect everyones rules, but would be a deal breaker for us.

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I thought about this more and I would not repeat meeting a couple where the female refuses oral. The way a woman gives a blowjob is almost as important as any sex act we do, sex without oral would be strange. 
Using feet might be a deal breaker if that is her foreplay, maybe that is why the OP had one post then disappeared. 

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I think that the problem of no oral sex occurs only in heterosexual men. I judge only from my own experience, and I don't want to offend anyone. But really heterosexual men, i.e. those who have never sucked a dick, do not understand how difficult it is physically. Especially if they have seen a lot of blowjobs in xxx videos and think that every girl can blow down the throat of a dick.

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5 hours ago, devamona said:

But really heterosexual men, i.e. those who have never sucked a dick, do not understand how difficult it is physically.

Possibly the first few times I sucked a dick was difficult, the smell, the taste, my jaw, not knowing what to do with my teeth, was I doing it right, afraid of coming off as dumb and inexperienced. Difficult when the guy popped in my mouth, trying not to gag or throw up. Difficult having a dick shoved down my throat. I’ve learned after a short time how to make all those things enjoyable and don’t find it difficult for me. 
Do men find it difficult, or do female gays find it difficult doing oral on a woman? Is it physically challenging to move your tongue to satisfy? 
Throughout my sexual life oral sex has never been an issue, every guy I have been with I think was pleased with my not making it an issue. 
 

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I didn't know this is an issue. I have never had a woman that wouldn't suck my cock. Hell anymore women will give you oral as easy as a good night kiss. I love to go down on my partner then roll her over, stick my thumb in her pussy, rub her clit with my pointer finger while I lick her asshole. I guess there are men that don't do oral, but I don't know them!

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If or when we take the plunge I would expect oral as part of any sex. Certain things just go together. 
 

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On 12/29/2022 at 9:22 AM, northviking1992 said:

no[t] wanting oral on herself

Why is that?  Do you mean from  either a man nor a woman? 

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On 12/30/2022 at 5:22 AM, northviking1992 said:

My wife isn't into oral in general, she'd rather use her hand or feet. Would her not performing oral or no wanting oral on herself an issue for getting into the LS community? 

It would be a deal breaker for both of us, we both love to give/receive oral sex. 

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21 hours ago, Sophy said:

It would be a deal breaker for both of us, we both love to give/receive oral sex. 

The great thing about swinging is having sex in ways that your regular partner does not.  If a woman just wanted to have one type of sex and not another, I'd be ok with that.  I can get the other activities elsewhere.

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On 1/4/2023 at 11:25 PM, njbm said:

I think it would be out of the ordinary. Other than kissing and intercourse, it’s one of the big three. 

For some men, anal would be in there.

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Personally speaking, I don't think we have ever had a Lifestyle experience where my wife didn't perform oral. Keep in mind oral can just be foreplay and doesn't necessarily need to be performed to completion.

Having said that, everyone has their own set of rules and it's customary to discuss them up front and respect them during play. So I would recommend bringing that one up as far in advance as possible.

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5 hours ago, couplers said:

For some men, anal would be in there.

I think that for a guy to require anal sex says that he watches too much porn.  Yes, all guys love it, but girls don't love it nearly as much as the porn industry makes it out to be.

 

4 hours ago, hunterdonNJcpl said:

Personally speaking, I don't think we have ever had a Lifestyle experience where my wife didn't perform oral. Keep in mind oral can just be foreplay and doesn't necessarily need to be performed to completion.

Having said that, everyone has their own set of rules and it's customary to discuss them up front and respect them during play. So I would recommend bringing that one up as far in advance as possible.

I would think that if one refuses to do oral in a swinging adventure, they should bring a set of other skills to make up for that.

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We played with a couple where the wife would not perform oral, but would have intercourse. The husband would perform oral, but not participate in intercourse.  Ok!

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24 minutes ago, njbm said:

We played with a couple where the wife would not perform oral, but would have intercourse. The husband would perform oral, but not participate in intercourse.  Ok!

Sure, whatever works.  Were they good at what they did?

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1 hour ago, Baconheads said:

Sure, whatever works.  Were they good at what they did?

Yes they were. Did not bother me. 

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I can’t remember meeting a guy who didn’t want a blowjob from the very beginning of my sexual life. I do remember girlfriends first starting to have sex talking about their first time getting over the gagging so many years ago. Back then the girls talked more about giving oral not as much as receiving knowing not every guy was quick to do it. Things changed in college where oral sex was just part of all sex it wasn’t even a question. 

Swinging without oral has never come up. 
Additionally I never heard of using feet but I’m not aware of other’s kinks and wants like that. 
 

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18 hours ago, Baconheads said:

for a guy to require anal sex says that he watches too much porn.

My guys don't "require" it and don't watch porn (why would they when they have us girls?) but they do head back there from time-to-time. 

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On 12/29/2022 at 8:22 AM, northviking1992 said:

My wife isn't into oral in general, she'd rather use her hand or feet. Would her not performing oral or no wanting oral on herself an issue for getting into the LS community? 

We only do soft (oral) swap so, yeah that would likely be a dealbreaker for us. However, we know and acknowledge that we are in the minority. 

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4 hours ago, shy_couple said:

We only do soft (oral) swap so, yeah that would likely be a dealbreaker for us.

Beat us to it!   ;-D

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