Ladies... how open are you about swinging with your doctors???

[mediccouple 45]

Ladies heres the dilemma im in... i want to be safe but i also dont want the weird looks etc from being that open. Have you found GYN docs that are understanding of the situation we are in or are they all sort of... well prude. I have approached this conversation with one other doc in the past and it went..... not so good.... so im a little gunshy for sure. Any tips

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,086]

Most Docs will have the same reponse yours did, so honestly that's the one thing neither of us share with our Dr.  But we are the strictest lifestyle couple we know in terms of making sure we and our partners are std tested and have paperwork and we conduct that business outside our regular Dr. and use a site/service (stdtest.com) and pay outside our insurance plan for it.  Bottom line is we are behaving as responsibly as possible and choose to spare ourselves the usual reprimanding from our Doctors.

[lcmim 1,008]

I (male) told my doc (female) the whole story in the context of a discussion of an ED issue that had begun to surface.

 

Other than the expected cautions on her part, which this group gives to each other on a fairly regular basis about STI's, there were no negative responses.

 

There were some good questions on her part about the whys and how's. How it affected our marriage etc.

 

The conversation lasted over twenty minutes. She ordered a testosterone test. She offered in house STI screening which she said my insurance would cover, offered the strategy that if my wife and I each spaced our physicals 6 months apart that we could effectively have two tests a year. 

 

I also walked out with a recommend to a urologist just to make sure there were no other players than age in the ED matter and a script for sildenafil.

 

My advice is if your doc is not understanding, then find another doctor.

Edited April 28, 2021 by lcmim

[adamgunn 1,456]

Perhaps I'm naive here, but can't you simply tell your doctor, "I have multiple sex partners," and leave out the how, when and how many?

[njbm 2,728]

Two doctors with whom I discussed it were actually supportive. 

I agree with the sentiment that if they are not at least clinically responsive to address your needs, go elsewhere. 

 

[GoldCoCouple 4,014]

If you don't feel like you can be open and honest with your doctor, then you are not doing yourself any favors. Just tell them that you occasionally have multiple sexual partners and leave it at that. Even if they notice that your chart says that you are married, most won't ask about it since it doesn't really matter when it comes to your health. If they DO ask, just ask them what difference does that make? If they persist, then they aren't the right doctor for you. Doctors are like finding single guys to swing with...there are thousands that you can choose from.

[lcmim 1,008]

1 hour ago, adamgunn said:

Perhaps I'm naive here, but can't you simply tell your doctor, "I have multiple sex partners," and leave out the how, when and how many?

Personally I'd rather be known as a swinger than an adulterer.

[Idahocouple6969 294]

 

Yeah.... hard no. Few doc's have a private practice. Mostly large hospital based large groups. And as a result your information mysteriously gets spread around.  HIPA doesn't mean much if you can't trace where the information came from. Around here Drs routinely refuse to treat you with no clear reason given (usually a religious conflict).  

 

If we were in need of sti testing we would go to a free clinic far away from home and pay cash.  

[Fundamental Law 2,817]

Interestingly, as prelude to a standard annual checkup, one of us yesterday completed a "standard intake form". There was a new question on the form, "Do you wish to be tested for sexually transmitted infections?"  There was no judgment implied, and no one particularly bats an eye at whatever tests need to be done. 

 

As an aside, in addition to the usual tests screening for lipid abnormalities, cholesterol levels, blood sugar and hemoglobin A1C, colonoscopy needs to repeated. I mention all of this simply to emphasize that conversation about sexual activity and sexual risk is sandwiched between the questions about alcohol use and exercise habits, and with not particular stigma. 

[PSULioness 754]

Ewww. I thought the post was about swinging with my doctor. 

[NerdsAreFun 224]

56 minutes ago, Fundamental Law said:

Interestingly, as prelude to a standard annual checkup, one of us yesterday completed a "standard intake form". There was a new question on the form, "Do you wish to be tested for sexually transmitted infections?"  There was no judgment implied, and no one particularly bats an eye at whatever tests need to be done. 

 

As an aside, in addition to the usual tests screening for lipid abnormalities, cholesterol levels, blood sugar and hemoglobin A1C, colonoscopy needs to repeated. I mention all of this simply to emphasize that conversation about sexual activity and sexual risk is sandwiched between the questions about alcohol use and exercise habits, and with not particular stigma. 

Yeah at my doctor there was a simple selection for sexual orientation and partner(s) to indicate whether you were exclusively monogamous.  A result of which was a change in vaccine recommendations(hepatitis/hpv) and an ask at checkups if I need sti screening.  Took all the awkwardness out of it.

[ROCKlandCpl 436]

My GP has questions asking what sex is on my birth certificate, what sex do identify as, and what gender pronoun I prefer. Easy questions for me to answer. There is one question that was very easy for me to answer my whole life, 

Do you think of yourself as lesbian/gay/homosexual, straight/heterosexual, bisexual, something else. Easy answer was straight/heterosexual. Recently had a bisexual occurrence, do I change my answers on my next office visit? 
My OB/Gyn was the one who gave me my IUD, removed my IUD and prescribed medications and hormone therapy. My drive had changed and sex was becoming painful. She recently asked if things are better, my answer as a joke was my husband is very happy. I did not mention our meeting with a couple or my having a bi experience. 
The sex we had was not safe sex, something we talked about after the fact. Being our first meeting went as easy as can be, neither of us stopped to make sure we were doing things the right way. We also don’t know if there will be others couples we will meet outside of who we met. 

[couplers 4,140]

The only time I had a weird experience was when I had my first appointment with an obstetrician with my first child.

 

Clair had accidentally become pregnant by David my husband, and we had always talked about the two of us to being pregnant together and giving birth around the same time.  Clair and I talked about what to do the afternoon she took a pregnancy test (actually, like three of four, all positive) and we decided it was time to put the plan into action.  I stopped the pill and in order for me to get pregnant as quickly as possible, I had sex with Red and hubby.  I wanted to have at least one child by each, and hubby was ok with that.  The guys could start intercourse with Clair (Lora wasn't part of our family yet), but had to ejaculate in me.  It worked.

 

Hubby went to the first visit to the obstetrician with me.  The doctor said something about hubby being a father, I said we don't know yet, Red might be the father, and his reaction made it clear we had to change doctors.

Edited April 29, 2021 by couplers

[Baconheads 397]

On 4/28/2021 at 12:07 PM, PSULioness said:

Ewww. I thought the post was about swinging with my doctor. 

You beat me to that one!

[couplers 4,140]

On 4/28/2021 at 12:07 PM, PSULioness said:

Ewww. I thought the post was about swinging with my doctor. 

 

On 5/12/2021 at 3:56 PM, Baconheads said:

You beat me to that one!

Me as well.  There was one young, cute, personable gyno that I had, and as she was examining me, my mind did wonder...  She spoke of her husband and I wondered some more (FFM is my favorite).  Perhaps I should have pursued the small chance that something could have come of it.