Jump to content

Recommended Posts

You may have painted "The Kolonel" as the the devil but I am "The Devil". And the Devil says....

 

People have the right to be as discriminating as they want to be when it comes to their sex lives. If I only want to have sex with people so physically specific that I should be attending therapy for that predilection it is my God given right to do so and it is not your job to pass judgement on me for the specific criteria I place on my bedfellows. And by being so disapproving of these individuals for choosing to be specifically selective you are actually guilty of what you are accusing them of being.....JUDGEMENTAL!!!!! My bedroom is certainly not an equal opportunity workplace. Nor should yours be either.

 

It's like me getting upset and thinking its unfair because I can't play for the Lakers. If you think such a club would be distasteful then do not attend it. Face it.... Most people end up with people within a certain range of their own looks category. So if you are Height/Weight proportionate/Fit, are of above ave. looks and are 25yrs old chances are that you are not going to want to have sex with someone your fathers age, 265lbs. and facially unattractive. So whats wrong with having a place you can go to to meet others who would be in your own dating league(we all have one to some extent) if you fit the criteria I mentioned earlier instead of spending half your evening fending off people you would never consider sleeping with in a million years no matter how nice they were. If you only like extremely large people and find people who are thin unattractive then wouldn't it be nice to be able to go somewhere where you didn't have to weed through a bunch of anorexics and it attracted exactly the type of individuals that you would be interested in? And no matter how much you want to talk about making friends and meeting all sorts of people, sexual attraction is still the driving force behind swinging. And lets face it.... Aesthetics play an enormous role in sexual attraction.Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but the beholder is allowed to be as picky as he damn well pleases.

Share this post


Link to post

Gotta agree with the Devil. :D Why should I drop good money to go to an open club and weed through all these people I'm not interested in seeing naked when I can go to a screened club and be sure that many of the people are at least physically appealing to me and in my desired age range? It's like having a party attended by all the people who already fit some of your desired criteria through the personals. Why waste time? Especially if I have to be in the same venue as these people when I'm having sex. Forcing me to be in a situation I don't want to be in because of some principle of openness is insanity.

 

Impishcpl, you, like a few of the others, have a healthy viewpoint. I read that Playboy article and felt exactly the same way you did. Then I went to a couple of the parties the author mentioned and realized they are not *that* exclusive. It's just media hype.

 

Alura, Ted was condescending. Period. It's one thing to attack ideas. It's another thing to say people are stupid for holding them. He fired the first volley when I was trying to be reasonable with him. If you cannot see that it is because of your own bias toward his viewpoint. Your definition of bigot fits him pretty well, as he is irrationally attached to the viewpoint that I am not free to associate sexually with people I find attractive. And the restaurant analogy is weak. You aren't forced to see your fellow restaurant patrons naked. Incidentally, the question was, "would you go", not "should people be admitted". So my personal preferences are, indeed, germane to the discussion. Re-read my original post. It was about *my* preferences. I wasn't telling anyone else what to do with their lives. Thanks again for your highly objective analysis.

 

Yawanna, it's better to be rejected by the organizers up-front than drop cash on a party where the vast majority of the people in attendance won't be interested in you. Seems like it would save a lot of trouble in the long run. At least you have a better understanding of what you're getting yourself into. Yeah, there's a long history of informal groups. Why not let them host parties for their particular subset? It's only a hierarchy if you attach yourself to the notion that younger and skinnier people are somehow "better" than you are. In reality it's just a sexual preference.

Share this post


Link to post
Quote
Originally posted by thekolonel

Your definition of bigot...

It's not my definition, Kolonel. I should have given credit to The Concise Oxford Dictionary. Sorry for the omission.

 

Quote

,,,fits him pretty well, as he is irrationally attached to the viewpoint that I am not free to associate sexually with people I find attractive.

 

I don't believe anyone, myself included, has suggested you are not free to have sex with anyone you find attractive. By the same token, no one has suggested you must have sex with someone you find unattractive.

 

Quote

Incidentally, the question was, "would you go", not "should people be admitted".

 

You're right. The former was the original question but, as is often the case in these forums, the focus soon changed to the latter. We would not go, therefore, we don't personally care if people are excluded. We think they would be lucky. Still, to suggest exclusion is not bigotry, albeit a much milder form than racial bigotry, we believe is incorrect.

 

Y'all have fun, y'heah?

Share this post


Link to post

The original query was:

 

Quote
What do you think about this type of swinger event? IS it a swinger event if age and looks are the criteria?

 

I gather that responders feel that this IS swinging and event organizers have a right to charge admission and screen participants based on any criteria they choose. Those who disagree with this type of event or practice, can choose not to apply or attend.

 

Does that about sum it up?

 

And... thank you thank you to all who shared their thoughts and opinions, dissenting or not :D

Share this post


Link to post

A most interesting thread....:eek:

 

As to the original question, would you attend such a party? I have, once, and would not do it again, and here is the reason why.

 

This was the very first party I ever attended (and it was with someone I swung (swinged? whatever) with for about a year and a half subsequent to this. The hosts did the screening bit, although nothing was said about it being based on looks. However, at the party we turned out to be in a distinct minority, to wit, we were not twenty-or-thirtysomething Barbie and Ken clones, which about 80% of the attendees were.

 

I always wondered if they made a mistake, even though we had sent them current pictures as part of the screening process.

 

I would never dispute the right of any private group to be selective about who they admit (this is why I have no problem whatsoever with the Boy Scouts excluding gays from their organization).

 

But having attended such a group, whether by accident or not, I learned a few things about the "beautiful people", by listening to their conversations and observing how they interacted with others. Essentially, I learned that these people are for the most part:

 

1. very shallow

2. very self-centered

3. inconsiderate

4. not very bright

5. and younger people, regardless of looks, are lousy lays

 

Now I will be the first to say that physical attraction is highly subjective, and that "likes attract" in this context. And I'm glad I did attend this one party, because of what it taught me about "class distinctions" as it applies to physical appearance.

 

But the bottom line is that, even if they BEGGED me to join one of their groups (yeah, never happen, but this is purely hypothetical), I would not because of the reasons listed above.

 

I've had orders of magnitude more fun at parties where the attendees were simply chosen on the basis of a dress code and an assumed ability to behave properly in large groups. What was particularly interesting was that the Barbie and Ken clones who attended parties like this (maybe they made a mistake and just walked in the wrong door...:) tended to behave far better than at the party where they were in a clear majority.

 

But at parties like this, the conversation was generally more intelligent and interesting, the manners displayed more pleasant (just because you have no intention of playing with a person, does not mean you have to treat them like a dog who just peed all over your new carpet just because they dared to try and strike up a conversation with you), etc. Oh, yeah, and the sex was much better, too...

 

No, give me a venue where all shapes, sizes and ages are represented any time. Much, much more fun...:fun:

Share this post


Link to post

It doesn't take a psychology major to ascertain that your disdain is founded in envy. We often resent what we wish we were ourselves.What you've posted is what you must tell yourself in order for you to not suffer from feelings of inadequacy in a sexually competitive environment.

 

Aesthetics,intellect, and sexual prowess couldn't possibly exist within the same entity for that would possibly render me an inferior specimen in the proverbial sexual food chain.

 

People often construe blanket derogatory beliefs and hold contempt for what they can not attain but covet so.

 

My wife and I have played with people several years our senior who were sexually inept and people younger than us who were gifted beyond their years.

 

My wife and I are both young, fit, and extremely attractive. Probably even in the top half of the Barbie and Ken category.

 

We are also both MENSA members.

 

So keep in mind when you consider stereotyping and criticizing those younger and more attractive than yourself that they may be your sexual and intellectual superior as well.

 

I bid you farewell my green eyed mammalian friends.

Share this post


Link to post

I know I haven't been here very long and I hope I don't piss anybody off.....but....I think Jerry Falwell and several other REAL bigots would be clapping their hands (and whatever else they can get together) over this "flap". The thing I like best about reading these postings is the generally non-judgmental comments.

 

My wife and I are 52 and 50 respectively, that being said, we believe that beauty comes from within....we believe that anybody who has a standard of beauty does it from a sense of insecurity: i.e. "I'm very pretty but don't look for anything else!!"

 

However, one thing that is as sure as taxes....everybody ages!! The very people who cull all of us "non-beautiful" people will be fighting for the cause in a few years!!

 

Again, that being said, I can allow them their opinion as I am sure that others have allowed me mine in the last 50 years.

 

This site is a blessing to people of our "persuasion", I know I'm just a newcomer and please don't think I presume to "correct" anybody but the phrase "Divide and Conquer" comes to mind.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

I never once said that someone was stupid, or anything else. I said "IN MY OPINION, THE IDEA OF SOMEONE DOING SOMETHING WAS STUPID OR THAT THE IDEAS WERE BIGOTRY" meaning that their thoughts to me, were bigotry or their actions were stupid not that they were in general bigots or that they were just plain stupid. In fact I even tried to give the kolonel the benefit of the doubt and told him that I really didn't think he was stupid or a bigot and believed him better than that. Okay, I now pray that I am right but so far some people have told me I was wrong. I still haven't made that judgement but have made the judgement that he needs to grow up and accept it when someone disagrees with him and calls his ideas stupid. He did on the other hand call me names and I do take offense to that which is why I made the judgement that he needs to grow up.

 

Now that I have said this, I want to make one thing clear......I would not go to a club that screens because I do not believe in bigotry, I don't believe in giving my right to decide away to anyone at any time for any reason, and I certainly wouldn't pay someone to take my rights away. After all this is America not China and not the old East Germany or old Russia where someone always has the right to tell you what to do, say, or think! So if you want to go and let someone decide on what you see or who you party with then be my guest after all it is your own freedoms your paying to have taken away. ENJOY!!!!

 

Ted

Share this post


Link to post
Originally posted by DevilzAdvokit

My wife and I are both young, fit, and extremely attractive. Probably even in the top half of the Barbie and Ken category.

We are also both MENSA members.

 

Such unmitigated modesty. Oh how do you contain yourself? Pray, do tell.

Share this post


Link to post

Okay. Enough.

 

Can't you just agree to disagree now? Do you really have to keep arguing? I think we are all aware of the viewpoints of the two involved in this "tiff". Kolonel and Ted, we all appreciate your opinions, but I for one, am weary of reading your argument.

 

We all have our own opinions. This is mine: The club has the right to select whomever they wish to enter. Anyone has the right to not enter the club's party.

 

I resent generalistic views-- no matter what they are, or who they concern.

 

I just celebrated my 28th birthday this week. I am tall, thin, and sexy! I am certain that I would be allowed entry into this selective party, as well as my husband- who is beautiful. Does that mean that I would go? Probably not.

Am I shallow? Nope.

Am I self-centered? No way!

Am I inconsiderate? I am probably one of the most considerate people you will ever meet.

I also happen to be extremely intelligent, and a KICK-ASS lay!

 

I don't agree that the people condemning this Club or "Beautiful people" are all suffering from the green-eyed monster. I think that they have probably had bad experiences with shallow people.

 

However, please keep in mind that you cannot lump us all together. Your experience with a shallow, inconsiderate person should not be your automatic perception of me, simply because I am physically similar to them!

 

Just my opinion...

SARA

Share this post


Link to post

I should probably add, in view of Nymph's above post:

 

I am honestly not being conceited with my post. I had nothing to do with my physical appearance-- God and my mama were responsible for that. I am much prouder of my inside being beautiful than my outside.

 

I am simply saying that none of us can take credit for the way we look on the outside. We all have to take responsibility for the people we are on the inside, and give EVERY individual the opportunity to reveal who they are, not who they APPEAR to be.

 

Have a wonderful holiday!

SARA

Share this post


Link to post
Originally posted by wcplnsac

[H]e needs to grow up and accept it when someone disagrees with him and calls his ideas stupid. He did on the other hand call me names and I do take offense to that which is why I made the judgement that he needs to grow up.

 

Okay, a little exercise here. If you or anyone else can show me where exactly I called you names or did anything other than come down on your ideas and your attitude towards me I will gladly apologize. I'm willing to put down money that no one will find anything. Yet all I'm hearing from you are "grow up" and "get a life". If you have a problem with me take it somewhere else.

 

As sara pointed out, all I've seen in this thread are negative attitudes directed at younger and/or physically attractive swingers. I think it's all a sad sort of psychological defense mechanism. They aren't interested in me, the thinking goes, so they must be worthless individuals. This comes through quite clearly in bear's posts.

Share this post


Link to post
all I've seen in this thread are negative attitudes directed at younger and/or physically attractive swingers. I think it's all a sad sort of psychological defense mechanism. They aren't interested in me, the thinking goes, so they must be worthless individuals. This comes through quite clearly in bear's posts.

 

I couldn't have PAID to get these responses needed that show just how divisive and NON swinger a 'beautiful people only' event is.

 

Saying and organizing events for attractive people only is most definitely a negative attitude directed at everyone else. You don't want to play with certain people, you don't have to. It's this trend of segregation and intolerance that is annoying me, this 'let's set up our OWN club' of pitting one group, those arbitrarily deemed 'attractive' against everyone else, because that's what it does...this thread is an example. It's narrow minded, an attempt at elitism, and discriminatory and if it happened behind the scenes, rather than promoted by swinger clubs, we wouldn't care because it DOES happen informally and therefore isn't in your face offensive. Swinging is looking to find people to have sex with that you are also comfortable with in other ways. I don't know about some of you husbands, but mine won't let just any guy be with me, you have to talk at least a little so you know he's going to be respectful and there won't be any bad fallout.

 

In all kinds of other threads on this board, it's stated over and over again that swinging is all about choice, respect, and diversity in yes, choosing people to be sexual with.

 

So one organizer promotes, with the support of clubs, an after club private party for 'attractive people only'. And look where that takes us all.... what are we at here, 7 pages? And the key issues stay at 'we're attractive and could get in, but we won't go'..."we're attractive and WILL go cause we want to be with only other attractive people for play'.... and..... 'we won't go because we don't want to be with people who care mostly about looks".

 

You don't hear anyone bitching that BDSM clubs are discriminatory, do you? If I want to wear leather and get paddled I can go or not. I just have to want to participate in that venue and I can make that choice because it's very clear to me, or at least I can learn, what exactly BDSM involves. Where would I find out exactly what 'attractive' includes? I can tell you another thing, the Beautiful People Only event organizers posted their pics and I gotta say... they don't get me all wound up like Roger Rabbit looking at Jessica and going 'aWOOOOOOGGAAAA!!!"

 

 

I don't find them any more or less attractive than most people - but then again, that's just my opinion. :D

Share this post


Link to post
I couldn't have PAID to get these responses needed that show just how divisive and NON swinger a 'beautiful people only' event is.

 

Saying and organizing events for attractive people only is most definitely a negative attitude directed at everyone else. You don't want to play with certain people, you don't have to.

 

It's only divisive because some people want in, for whatever reason, and complain about it. If you are truly happy with your swing circle there's no reason to be upset.

 

For me, going to these events is not about negative attitude. It is about wanting to get the most out of my investment in terms of time and money. Yes, it's MY time and MY money. I have nothing against people who feel they wouldn't make the cut. It's just that, in all likelihood, I wouldn't find them physically attractive.

 

I saw a post where someone described walking into a club and finding to her dismay that the majority of the patrons were "morbidly obese". This is the sort of thing that some people would just as soon avoid. It may be painful for some people to hear things like this, but sex, even swinger sex, is a very personal thing.

 

The bottom line is that if screened events didn't exist there would be few, if any, places where I could go and be reasonably sure I'd be comfortable in that environment. And if you're new to the scene like I was a little while back, you lack those informal networks that might lead you to groups of like-minded people.

Share this post


Link to post
Quote
It's only divisive because some people want in, for whatever reason, and complain about it. If you are truly happy with your swing circle there's no reason to be upset.

 

I am getting SO tired of some missing the point (ignoring?) to speak about how attractive they are and how ugly we are and dumb..they are mensa...blah blah blah.

 

The point I'm trying to make which has yet to be even seen let alone noted or responded to by these smart beautiful posters is this.....

 

even OFFERING a club to beautiful people only is an attack on those people who don't consider themselves attractive, who don't fancy themselves as attractive, who are attractive but don't think that is the be all and all of attracting partners.

 

Quite frankly....I think you all should create your own club of intolerant, mensa, bodybuilders, blessed with good looks. Because if I talked to you in a club...I'd walk a mile to get away from y'all. And guess what.. I'm smart and gorgeous and can't abide snobs.

 

P.S. I will definitely do a follow up posting, when these snobs finally stomp off in a huff.. of just how this beautiful people after club fails...because it surely will.

Share this post


Link to post

And as far as attractive people go....well, God love 'em. There is no crime in being smart or being beautiful.

 

I can think of one particularly attractive woman that I work with. She is doubly attractive to me because of her attitude. She does not think of herself as beautiful, though she surely is. She is quite modest, and it is rather fetching.

 

There is no crime in being attractive or being smart. Arrogance however, is pretty lame. And beautiful people clubs are simply arrogant. But I would not deny them the right to freely associate with one another. Nor do I think it is discriminatory- in a civil rights kind of way.

 

Let them do what they want to do- I could care less. We have plenty of partners to choose from :D

Share this post


Link to post
I am getting SO tired of some missing the point (ignoring?) to speak about how attractive they are and how ugly we are and dumb..they are mensa...blah blah blah.

 

I haven't said anything about my looks nor bragged about my intelligence, but I do take exception to the notion that young attractive people are automatically shallow, unintelligent snobs. And I think DA was just sticking up for himself in light of bear's negative generalizations.

 

The point I'm trying to make which has yet to be even seen let alone noted or responded to by these smart beautiful posters is this.....

 

even OFFERING a club to beautiful people only is an attack on those people who don't consider themselves attractive, who don't fancy themselves as attractive, who are attractive but don't think that is the be all and all of attracting partners.

 

Um, I have already addressed this notion a few times in a few different ways. Think about it this way. If I throw a play party at my house and decide only to invite those who I deem physically appealing I'm sure everyone would agree it is my choice to do so and doesn't infringe on anyone else's choice to do as they please. In fact, some people might even find out about my little party and be miffed that they didn't get an invite, but still, who can argue that I am somehow morally obligated to invite them? It's my party, right? And I'll cry if I want to, as the song goes. Now suppose, further, that I place a personal ad mentioning I'm throwing this party and that I'm looking for barely-legal swimsuit models or whatever. Still my private individual choice as a swinger, right? Certainly not an attack on anyone.

 

So how's this any different than me deciding I want to rent out a place for the night and fill it with people of my choosing, handing out a flyer with my requirements rather than posting a personals ad? It's still my party, after all. How is this suddenly transformed into an affront to swingerdom?

 

This is the crux of the issue, and thus far no one from the anti-beauty camp has put forth a logical explanation as to how the former scenario can be considered a perfectly reasonable individual choice and the latter an attack on humanity.

 

Quite frankly....I think you all should create your own club of intolerant, mensa, bodybuilders, blessed with good looks. Because if I talked to you in a club...I'd walk a mile to get away from y'all. And guess what.. I'm smart and gorgeous and can't abide snobs.

 

Hmmm... who's sounding intolerant now? If you met me at a club I'd hope you'd at least treat me with respect, but alas, that seems to be too much to ask for around here. Yeah, I'm a snob. A bodybuilder. I'm applying for my mensa membership as write this. Tomorrow I'm having my picture taken for GQ. I'm part of a sinister cabal named "Ban Teh Uglees". We meet by firelight and sacrifice virgins. I also abuse small animals, including several on the endangered species list. Whatever psychological defense mechanism helps you sleep, Y.

 

P.S. I will definitely do a follow up posting, when these snobs finally stomp off in a huff.. of just how this beautfiul people after club fails...because it surely will.

 

I wouldn't ever pray for someone else's party to fail because, quite simply, I'm satisfied with my own. Which again gets at the core of my suspicions about some of the naysayers; lacking true contentment in their own swinging activities they attack those who they suspect are having a better time of it.

 

I'm quite sure there are a ton of parties going on which wouldn't have me on the guest list for whatever reason. But you know what? I hope they're having fun.

Share this post


Link to post

To steal a bit of a phrase form a very good movie if you will forgive me this transgression.

 

There are a lot more of us average people than you "BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE" in this world so you better watch out. We will conquer.

Share this post


Link to post

For a private party sponsored by an individual, invite only midgets in wheelchairs for all I care. NASCA members, clubs, are supposed to promote the general swinging community.

 

NASCA and their members, the clubs, are supposed to be Equal Opportunity.

 

I respect this board and the majority of posters. I find that they promote swinging in a healthy, respectful, supportive manner and this is what I expect from the swinger community. People are encouraged to explore all that is offered and the underlying message is that they will find a club or activity or other people they feel comfy with and vice versa. Kind of hard to explore, and very much IMHO goes against a swinger ethic, to have some swinger clubs and their events closed to you by something as arbitrary as 'attractiveness' and to have to subject yourself to an application and a personal interview to assess only your 'attractiveness'.

 

I don't care that I could pass the interview and attend. I wouldn't attend or apply and in fact the reason I posted to this message board is I wanted to hear what other swingers think about it.

 

I think it's elitist and classist that a club is offering this 'service for swingers' (at a price of course...it is a business after all) and divides the swinger community. And I don't think that's a good thing.

Share this post


Link to post

So many so threatened. The fact is that you wouldn't be so bothered by clubs that catered to specific groups if you didn't didn't feel inadequate and slighted yourself in some fashion. Why would you if this was not the case? I personally don't care what type of clubs exist for specific groups of people. Even if I would be excluded from them based on some criteria.

 

Because I feel okay about myself. Because some group wants something that I'm not doesn't diminish my worth. If it didn't diminish your self worth in some fashion you wouldn't have become so venomous over this subject. If the truth were to be known I dont even go to clubs. But I support the right for any type of club to exist that wishes to as long as what goes on is between consenting adults. The people you should be making smartass cracks about are those who have attempted to defile an entire group with a derogatory stereotype. I have merely defended them. I haven't made one negative statement about any group based on physical or intellectual attributes. Have you ever experienced an argument where the opposing side is so busy trying to come up with what they are going to say they miss what their opponent has said altogether. I feel this is exactly the case here. I certainly didn't come here to slight others intellect or aesthetics.Nor did I. And I would love for someone to show me where in my posts I did so. I only supported the right for such a club to exist. I certainly wasn't the one who insulted an entire group of people and stereotyped all of them in such a derogatory sense.

 

I merely defended myself. Think about it people!! If I had attacked the overweight and their right to have a big and beautiful club and had questioned their intellect, sexual prowess, and decency as human beings based on their physical attributes, What kind of response do you think I would have received? But it's okay to say what ever and the hell you want to about someone because they are fit and attractive. Their not real people after all. Why else would they referred to as plastic toys by Mattel if they were?

Share this post


Link to post

Why does it bother YOU so much?

 

Facts not subterfuge Sir.

 

Look... over there...OMG is it? Can it be? Why my goodness I do believe that was a FACT ... oh.... rats.... you missed it

 

:D

 

and now... watch me pull a soapbox out from under him.....

 

*whip* *thud*

Share this post


Link to post
For a private party sponsored by an individual, invite only midgets in wheelchairs for all I care. NASCA members, clubs, are supposed to promote the general swinging community. NASCA and their members, the clubs, are supposed to be Equal Opportunity.

 

What NASCA actually says:

 

EOLO following a listing means that the club is an Equal Opportunity Lifestyle Organization. ... NASCA and Affiliates have adopted this designation as a means of telling potential members and visitors that the club or publication is open to all races and nationalities.

 

Note that this is 1) a totally optional part of being a NASCA affiliate and 2) EOLO in no way refers to age or looks. Just a point of order.

 

NASCA is opposed to race and national origin discrimination by swing organizations. At the same time, we uphold the right of a swing organization to operate in a manner of their choosing, provided that they make known to potential members/participants their policies. In other words, NASCA asks that such organizations be "upfront" with their policies so as to avoid embarrassment and discomfort for any person answering their ad.

 

So in other words, yes, you can have your midget party as long as you are upfront about your door policy. Sounds reasonable to me.

 

Kind of hard to explore, and very much IMHO goes against a swinger ethic, to have some swinger clubs and their events closed to you by something as arbitrary as 'attractiveness' and to have to subject yourself to an application and a personal interview to assess only your 'attractiveness'.

 

I think it's elitist and classist that a club is offering this 'service for swingers' (at a price of course...it is a business after all) and divides the swinger community. And I don't think that's a good thing.

 

Well, then, fine. I can respect your opinion even though I might not share it. All I can say is I feel a little put off because I came to this message board to hopefully learn some things, and now I feel like I'm being damned for swinging the "wrong" way. I thought it wasn't about that. Anyone who thinks I went to any of these "exclusive" parties out of some sense of superiority or snobbishness is dead wrong. A friend simply said, "hey get in touch with so-and-so, you'll enjoy the parties." I didn't want to waste time on the big clubs I had heard so many bad things about, and being used to living in a city where there are velvet ropes guarding just about everything I didn't think twice about the attractiveness caveat.

 

So yes, Y, I do "dig" what you are saying, and I am open-minded about many things, but I feel like I have been backed into a hard-line position by certain fools who would paint everyone my age with the same predjudicial brush. If you guys would focus more on having an open, honest exchange with me as individuals rather than reflexively circling the wagons I think there are some ways we could bridge the divide.

Share this post


Link to post
If you guys would focus more on having an open, honest exchange with me as individuals rather than reflexively circling the wagons I think there are some ways we could bridge the divide.

 

Absolutely! But no one circled their wagons, seriously.....

 

It's a controversial topic, yes.....calling in all kinds of issues.

 

As for NASCA information, I won't counter respond with quotes from there because, one has to obtain their permission before posting information from their site onto other sites, and I didn't make that request. I remember reading what you shared, and I read more about it being for all types of people, a place for everyone, and the promotion of swinging in general, not just for pretty people.

 

Something else I don't 'get' about this attractive qualifier to attend a club's event, is..... why are we all supposed to just say 'no thanks' and be polite and not hurt anyone's feelings on a one to one level..... but when it comes to the business end of swinging, feelings and being discriminatory doesn't matter. "You're too heavy for your height...you can't give us your money and attend."

 

I think that blows chunks and I've been watching that trend of superficiality take over a few clubs here. Sometimes it comes from the club, like this attractive people only sub club, sometimes it comes from attendees. It's hypocritocal because swinging is touted as all sizes and ages are welcome and everyone can find their niche.

 

But how would YOU feel if you were met with 'no fat ugly people' (trust me, that's a quote). It's hard enough to get started in this without having other major hurdles and attacks thrown at you.

 

Maybe I'm the only one trying to keep discrimination out of swinging.....but....I'm usually made party to those comments about others by others, and I always give them a 'look' and walk away. Everyone has at least one shortcoming below 'perfection' and in five years I've held to the belief that swinging is open to anyone with a good attitude and in the case of couples, good relationships. If it's not for them, they'll figure it out, or work past it. They'll also eventually find their own group of friends and grow from there. But they should all at least have the chance?

 

If I'm wrong, and swinging is definitely subdivided into predetermined groups and cliques and you need to know a password or have a key to participate, and this openness is just shit, I'd appreciate knowing that and I suspect so would anyone new to this.

Share this post


Link to post

Okay, guys. Nothing constructive is coming from all of this animosity and arguing. I think everyone has voiced their opinion, and everyone has been heard.

 

I think it is time to agree to disagree-- and stop bickering. We are all intelligent adults, and we should concede to respect each other's views, even if we don't agree.

 

Best,

SARA

Share this post


Link to post
Quote
Originally posted by saranmark

I think it is time to agree to disagree-- and stop bickering. We are all intelligent adults, and we should concede to respect each other's views, even if we don't agree.

 

Best,

SARA

 

And I absolutely second the motion that SARA has just made. This entire thing is a no-win situation because it is based on opinions. I have mine. You have yours. Someone's opinion cannot be wrong because it is theirs. While opinions may vary, I think we all have something to learn from reading others if we will only allow ourselves a little room to digest them.

 

Thank you SARA for introducing a motion to cease fire.

Share this post


Link to post

As always the ladies are right. You know us guys are like a dog with a bone sometimes. But you can't say it didn't have its entertainment value at points. A little dissent goes a long way. I'll be nice now.

Share this post


Link to post
Originally posted by yawanna

As for NASCA information, I won't counter respond with quotes from there because, one has to obtain their permission before posting information from their site onto other sites...

 

I could be wrong, but I believe posting attributed excerpts of material put up for public consumption is governed under fair use, like quoting part of a book or article. At any rate I encourage people to go look for themselves.

 

But how would YOU feel if you were met with 'no fat ugly people' (trust me, that's a quote). It's hard enough to get started in this without having other major hurdles and attacks thrown at you.

 

I agree that there's no reason for people to be rude. It's one thing to openly state your requirements and it's another thing to rag on people who you feel do not fit them. To my knowledge, none of the events I have attended advertised anything along the lines of "no fat ugly people" and if I did see something like this I'd take my business elsewhere.

 

Maybe I'm the only one trying to keep discrimination out of swinging.....but....I'm usually made party to those comments about others by others, and I always give them a 'look' and walk away.

 

Yeah, I think it sucks that people develop such an attitude about it. I've overheard some rude comments, and I'm sure I've been the recipient of some rude comments. Hell, I'll admit that when I got into this I had some preconceived notions about swingers but as I learn more I'm beginning to shed some of my own biases.

 

If I'm wrong, and swinging is definitely subdivided into predetermined groups and cliques and you need to know a password or have a key to participate, and this openness is just shit, I'd appreciate knowing that and I suspect so would anyone new to this.

 

Honestly, Y, I don't know exactly what swinging is or should be. It is oft-said that if you ask ten swingers what swinging is you will get ten different answers. Sometimes I look at the way other people I know go about it and think they surely must be missing the point. But I'm still trying to figure out what I want to get out of all this myself.

Share this post


Link to post

Ummmm just found this thread today, when I could have offended people for a long time with it. :rofl:

 

It is really to late to jump in, but I can't say I'd be offended by such a club. I'm OK looking, my wife is very good looking, we may well 'qualify' for such a club, and while I don't think we would be interested, I can understand there being an interest with it.

 

Perhaps it is because we are somewhat young swingers (though that changes a bit every day) we find a majority of the people to old/out of shape for us. We don't want to swing with people as old or almost as old as our parents, though there seems to be a lot of people who want to swing with someone as young as their kids :kiss::rolleyes:

Share this post


Link to post
Originally posted by yawanna

A devil's advocate is a person who advocates an opposing or bad cause for the sake of argument.

 

This is a message board, a discussion board, an everything BUT an argument board. I thought.

 

If this poster takes great pride in his nickname and arguing - why do we care? Don't respond and he can type away til the cows come home...no one cares. It'll all just go into that dead air we call the internet.

 

Just talk around him or about him but not 'to' him is what I'm suggesting.

 

Although... someone could always just fire up the chain saw and take care of that soap box once and for all :D

 

I agree, yawanna, for the most part, but this Board is a place to share opposing opinions and thoughts, too. That is how we all learn. It opens us up to new thoughts and ideas on a variety of subjects. And when delivered with a certain degree of tact, I greatly appreciate the opinions of any devil's advocate, and in fact, solicit opposing opinions.

 

However! I don't enjoy reading the posts when they become filled with hostility and anger, or simply argumentative - only because one opinion varies with another. That is what I said earlier. They are opinions and none are more right or wrong than others.

 

The other thing that really bothers me is the way new people might perceive this Board...saying for example they simply click on one of these hostile type threads as their first reading. WOW! For me, long ago, I may have thought, "These are a bunch of ranting wild people" and gone away forever. In fact, for a period of time, I very rarely visited the Board because it had become so filled with negative postings.

 

You made a good point...for posts that particularly anger or rile you...just ignore. Everyone gets tired of arguing with air. - EBF

Share this post


Link to post
Originally posted by OhioCouple

Absolutely disgusting. If that is what this term means, it has no place on a swingers board, at least it MOST definitely DOES NOT apply to me or anyone else I've met or come to know.

 

Disgusted, and definitely offended to have been perhaps put in that catagory.

 

Mrs. O

 

I really don't think it was any intent to put you or anyone in that category, Mrs. O...merely being used to illustrate a point.

 

However!! (my favorite word)...a swinger's board is certainly not the place for any type of discussion or reference to that in my opinion. Goes right back to what I said to yawanna...what would someone just opening a thread think if that was the first thing they saw? For me, it would be a case of close the thread and go away...(assuming I knew what it meant in the first place).

 

Can we just end this thread? It may have served a purpose in the beginning, but it deteriorated rapidly. Everyone seems to have hard feelings about some things that were said and done, but again, like yawanna said, you have the choice of ignoring or resonding. Sometimes, the greatest "power of an opinion" lies in a non-response.

 

So why don't we all say, "enough, already!" and agree that we each hold our own opinions dear to our hearts and while they are not necessarily in agreement with others, that makes them no less valuable. Who really cares what anyone else thinks or believes as long as we, individually, are comfortable with what we think and believe?

 

And now, I am through with this one. - EBF

 

~ TYF ~

Share this post


Link to post

It seems to me, fellow board members, that a couple of posters on this thread will not allow it to be ended voluntarily until the rest of us agree that they are superior to us in beauty, intellect, debate and, I suppose, sexual skills.

 

The same points have been made over and over again. No agreement or even a truce is in sight.

 

I see this thread as a threat to gaining more of the kind of folks we'd like to have join us here. Surely this sort of "bad-mouthing" can only serve to cause reasonable folks to decide this is not the site for them and surf merrily on their way, never to return.

 

Therefore, I've written Julie asking her to end this thread. I have no idea if she will or will not. If she does, I take full responsibility.

Share this post


Link to post

I think this is a case like so many others where people are allowing a thread to drag on. It's not just one or two people that won't give up, it's everyone because they keep feeling the need to respond back. If those who want the topic to end will simply stop responding to it, it will end. Those who are egging it on simply want a reaction and when they stop getting it, they will stop posting.

 

Stop throwing fuel on the fire and it will die on it's own. This isn't the first thread on this subject (looks/weight/etc) that we've had and it's not the first to go in the same direction this one has. It's the norm for topics like this and really for any topic where there are going to be such extreme differences of opinion.

Share this post


Link to post

We also touched on young swingers... I'm not so sure that's an elitist venture.... we've seen and heard from younger and younger couples who are venturing into swinging.. I mean.. who are we to say what a couple's relationship is? If you meet and they seem good together and behave like a healthy couple.. and there is mutual interest.. I don't see why not :) Hasn't happened to us yet.. well....only from younger single men :D

Share this post


Link to post

Damn, just when we all find something fun, someone has to come along and mess it up for everyone with some stupid rule!! I just want to know if the people at the door or the interviewers of these clubs/parties are beautiful people? If so....who made the decision that they are beautiful?:confused:

 

Don't y'all just love the free world? Do you suppose there are any of these forums in those countries that cannot speak out for or against anything? Choices and options.....how wonderful for us!!

 

I'll step out on the curb here so I don't have far to be pushed by who ever (or is it whom) that I may offend. Do looks matter? Sure to some....it's only human nature. (I prefer tall men with nice shoulders and arms. I am probably missing out on a lot...but that's my own fault. I like what I like....just as most people) BUT do I think a public place has the right to make that decision? Hard to say...it's all about the bottom line and whatever makes the most $$ is what "they" are going to do. Unless, of course, "they" are average looking like most of the world. If I owned a club or had the parties I would let everyone in!! AND they could sit any place they liked....no matter their shape, size, color......that's just me. Variety is the spice of life!!

Share this post


Link to post

If screening for age and looks is bigotry, then screening out single men, which 95% of clubs do these days, is the worst kind of bigotry.

 

YES it is!!! There are those of us that like the occasional single male. Guess what???? Nice single men are just as hard to find as nice single women.

Share this post


Link to post

Ummm private clubs, which swing clubs are, can have any kind of members they want.

 

If they want to limit it to people 120 pounds, bald, and missing 2 fingers they can.

Share this post


Link to post

But at parties like this, the conversation was generally more intelligent and interesting, the manners displayed more pleasant (just because you have no intention of playing with a person, does not mean you have to treat them like a dog who just peed all over your new carpet just because they dared to try and strike up a conversation with you), etc. Oh, yeah, and the sex was much better, too...

 

No, give me a venue where all shapes, sizes and ages are represented any time. Much, much more fun...:fun:

 

I would have to agree!! Not that all beautiful people are stupid, but a vast majority of them have the "It's all about me" syndrome. Give me intelligence any day!! With knowledge comes power....and who doesn't like a little power? Both are very sexy. When a person becomes sexy, they become better looking all the time!!

Share this post


Link to post

There's a party hosted in different Texas cities called the "Beautiful Party" which is more or less the same thing described in this thread. I believe the next party is tonight in Dallas.

 

Since it is a private party and invitation only, I believe they have every right to set whatever criteria they choose.

Share this post


Link to post

I don't think anyone is arguing their right to set whatever criteria they choose, only the sheer ridiculousness of it all. We ourselves are considering holding a party for cyclopses with one brow that goes all the way across their forehead.

 

And back hair, both sexes need to have copius amounts of back hair.

Share this post


Link to post

Would you consider a private party that excludes single men, as well as couples with bisexual men, or couples into pain, etc. ridiculous as well?

 

These people are being selective with regard to physical appearance, just as others are selective with regard to other criteria (marital status, age, sexual orientation, maturity, personality, etc). People have been and will continue to be excluded from private parties and/or sexual encounters because of any number reasons. To each his own.

Share this post


Link to post
Originally posted by fun_pairTX

I don't think anyone is arguing their right to set whatever criteria they choose, only the sheer ridiculousness of it all. We ourselves are considering holding a party for cyclopses with one brow that goes all the way across their forehead.

 

And back hair, both sexes need to have copius amounts of back hair.

 

This may strike you as odd, but, the rather well trimmed single brow across my one eye has gotten me into places that I believe I might otherwise have not been allowed into.

 

I do hope that your comment about back hair on women is sincere. I find it quite attractive and a great bonding experience to groom.

 

Incidentally, I tried the link. For some reason, I was unable to view their picture. I guess access to that site is exclusive. Now, I may never know what beautiful people look like.

Share this post


Link to post

I think that most of these exclusive clubs are actually looking for people who are height/weight proportionate. The problem is that people often refer to others as beautiful when the more fitting term would be fit and or HWP. I can't tell you the number of times I have received pictures from people claiming to be gorgeous just to find out that they spend 30 hours a week in a gym to make up for the fact that they look like Don Knotts with breasts. Cruel but true.

 

I am apologizing ahead of time for all those I'm bound to offend.

Share this post


Link to post

Perhaps the real reason people are sensitive to this issue is that this couple is stating their preferences out in the open rather than keeping them private. Their looks are irrelevant to whether or not they have the merits to guage beauty.

Share this post


Link to post

I've been reading these posts for awhile, and am having a hard time believing that these beautiful people clubs exist... who is to judge another's beauty for true beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Oh, and yeah above all CONFIDENCE is what I find most appealing!:8-0::

Share this post


Link to post

they are saying they are above average in physical condition and looks.

 

Yes.. beauty IS in the eyes of the beholder..and in some cases.... some are a legend in their own mind methinks.

 

It just brings me back to... who's to say what beauty and above average physical condition is to some...I mean..he has no shoulders and looks to have manboobs maybe even. Nothing wrong with that... except..when they tout themselves as above average in looks and physical condition.

 

Maybe this is much ado about nothing..if they think they are exceptional looking, then hell.... I don't have high expectations that their party will be full of barbie and kens :D

Share this post


Link to post
Originally posted by yawanna

quote:

Only people like you and ourselves get invited! People in their 20’s, 30’s to mid 40's (we’ll stretch the age limits a little for very exceptional people).

 

 

The funny part about this is that I think they are asking 'our age and lower'. Sounds like they want to party with good looking swingers who are younger then they are. Being low 30's they seem to old for our tastes.

Share this post


Link to post

Bottom line is that they do not want to "play" with anyone who they consider old and fat. Guess 50 = old.

 

I am fortunate to look like I am in my early 40s. Would I ever love to get the invitation to their party, "do" that host, and then afterwards casually advise him that in December I turn 54.

 

Oh, but that would never happen, even if I were to be so "lucky" as to get an invitation, because he doesn't turn me on. Superficial, aren't I?

 

Live and let live.

 

To each is own.

 

Yada, yada, yada........

 

Pauline

Share this post


Link to post
Quote
Originally posted by Tantra

Would you consider a private party that excludes single men, as well as couples with bisexual men, or couples into pain, etc. ridiculous as well?

 

Yes, I would actually, but then again if it is a private party in a private place then who really cares. I am arguing the clubs not the personal parties. But all in all the criteria making is ridiculous unless it is for legal reasons. But that is my opinion. You can have what ever opinion you like.

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Content

    • By SPaige24
      My husband and I have been together for almost 10 years. I have always been bi- curious, but kept it as secret until the last month. Little did I know that he had a small feeling (thanks to a few drunk nights with my friend). Our marriage is very strong, and we are very opened with each other. I told him that I wanted to have a have sexual encounter with another female. He is on board, and we even talked about a MFM threesome as well.
       
      Here is my issue... How do I find someone? That friend is no longer a friend, I can't do dating apps because of my job, and I personally don't want someone we know. I have looked into Swinger Clubs, and I realize that finding a bisexual/lesbian female who is single is hard. We are opened to a couple if need be. I just want my husband there and or involved.
       
      My question is... What is it like going to a swingers club? Will there be people our age (27-30), are "predators" real, and how do I find a club? We are located in Washington, PA.
    • By Tcav45
      Hi all. I was wondering if you could help. We are a married Female/Female couple that recently became interested in swinging. My partner was the one who brought it up initially.
       
      She has pretty much been sexually inhibited most of her life. She is now a gorgeous body builder with a rocking body and she has decided that she does not want to be inhibited anymore. She is not very experienced, so she is not very confident. And recently on several occasions during playtime with people she has felt very rejected. Kind a like the odd one out. This rejection has completely devastated her and she wants to quit the lifestyle and just go back to a sexless life. I don't know how to help her deal with this, she is crushed and thinks she is repulsive and unfuckable.
       
      Can anyone give me some advice? Has anyone else ever gone through this?
    • By AdamGunn2
      It was a fairly typical night at D.J.s Island, an early autumn evening. Mary and I hadn’t set anything up in advance, we’d decided to go almost at the last moment. From the second we entered the door our radar was beaming across the club, searching for a couple that might be searching for what we were also interested in - an enjoyable tryst.
       
      Mary took a few minutes to change into what she called a ‘trolling outfit.’ As I remember, that night it was a black babydoll with a loose bodice, thong, low heels. Many men admired her legs as I checked the forty or so women, many as scantily clad as my wife. None of our regular playmates seemed to be in attendance that evening, but we had our customs, we weren’t concerned. Perhaps an hour and a half later, I sat at a table next to the dance floor, Mary was on her feet, on the parquet, moving her body, seeing if anyone would move in. A slow sequence of men approached her, danced with her. Some would take liberties such as moving their hands under her garment, feeling the small of her back, perhaps place their palm on the roundness of her ass.
       
      I’d seen this many times before, I waited for one of two reactions.
       
      The first was that she’d spin away from the man; it signified she wasn’t interested in what he had to offer.
       
      The second was that she’d get closer, I’d watch her whisper in his ear. I knew the question, “Where’s your wife?” Some of them would shake their heads, they were attending as one of the few single men the club allowed, and when they received Mary’s response, they’d move away - that’s not what we were looking for at the moment.
       
      But the man might indicate where his wife was dancing a few feet away. When this kind of thing happened, Mary would glance to me and give our special signal - she’d put one hand on the back of her head, one on her stomach. When I got the cue, I’d come out, we’d dance as a foursome.
       
      As I approached, a man grasped the elbow of a tall attractive lady who was more modestly dressed, at least for the club. There was no conversation on the dance floor, the heavy volume of music and the thumping of the bass wouldn’t allow for speech. But I could tell the woman was interested in me, the four of us paired off and I often found myself facing this vixen. It was obvious they were as interested in us as I was in them, I could tell by the way Mary was rubbing against the man that she felt the same.
       
      After a couple of songs, Mary led the way off the floor, holding his hand, leading us off into a corner away from the speakers. As we sat, the man said, “I’m Ed, this is my wife, Marilyn.”
       
      Marilyn and I softly shook hands, I believe she raised the hem of her skirt to give me a view of her upper thighs. Ed had no problem seeing Mary’s legs, or where they met - she was sitting so that the babydoll was gathered to her side, leaning forward so her globes were exposed to his view.
       
      “Do you come here often?” Ed asked.
       
      “Every few weeks,” I responded, “you?”
       
      “This is our first time here.” Mary gave him a look that asked for further info. “We’re just starting this,” he admitted.
       
      Marilyn picked it up. “We’ve only had one time with a couple of friends. We liked it, heard about this place, decided to see if we could get into more trouble.”
       
      “Trouble’s our middle name,” I joked.
       
      Our conversation continued, where do you live, what movies have you seen lately, etc. It was a screen, of course, we were all calculating if the four of us would be pleasurable bedmates. I paid my attention to Marilyn, my wife had told me numerous times not to worry about her, she can take care of herself. My hand found Marilyn’s knee, she smiled at me, encouraged me to reach a tad higher. We bent towards each other, our mouths met.
       
      Marilyn opened her lips to me, the kiss was ardent, her mouth moist. She licked at my upper lip, her hand fondled the back of my neck. Our tongues clashed, promising cupidity, mimicking what I presumed our bodies might be doing in a few scant moments.
       
      We broke for a moment, Marilyn invited, “Would you guys want to go to one of the rooms?”
       
      I, of course, was all for it, but then I heard Mary. “Uh, not right now. But thanks.”
       
      We’ve always had the guideline that if one person doesn’t want to do something, she speaks for both of us. Regretfully, I pecked at Marilyn’s lips a last time, we stood, went separate ways.
       
      “You’re not upset, are you?” Mary asked me.
       
      “Of course not, not at all. You’re not in the mood?”
       
      “Oh, I’m in the mood all right, just not with Ed.”
       
      “Something wrong with him?” I asked.
       
      “I tried to get him interested,” Mary revealed, “but his kiss was a little cold, indifferent. I put my hand on his leg, he was too busy watching you and Marilyn, he never responded. My guess is that if we went into a room, he’d be watching you two, I’m not even sure he’d get hard for me.” It was a reasonable thought, it had happened to us a couple times before. “Hope you don’t mind, bet she’d have been a firecracker.”
       
      “Maybe. But you’re a firecracker too.”
       
      We headed back to the dance floor, in search of another couple.
    • By Ntexcouple
      I have posted several stories about Dee’s and my adventures in the swinging lifestyle. Then, I lost the love of my life to a drunk driver. I never knew a hurt as bad as losing the one person that gave meaning to my very soul. The first year I was just getting by, living if you want to call it that, day to day. I would wake up, go to work, come home, and sit outside drinking and feel sorry for myself. I still had friends that Dee and I had made, and they would try to get me out from time to time, but I just felt I was the odd man out, and it was more of a pity fuck than anything else was.
       
      Sue and Don were our best friends in the lifestyle, and they tried their best, but without Dee, I just couldn’t get back into it anymore. One Saturday, I was at home setting out by the pool, drinking, and, as usual, feeling sorry for myself when Sue showed up. She walked into the backyard, took one look at me, and gave it to me with both barrels.
       
      She said that Dee was dead, and as much as we loved her, that was not going to change. She is dead, and she is gone, and the way I was living my life, I might as well be dead also. Dee loved life, and she would not want me to be living like I was. She told me it was time for me to move on and start living again. After about an hour of us talking and crying, she had to get back home. I sat there the rest of the afternoon, thinking about what she had said and how true it was. Dee would not want me moping around, just like if I had been killed in that crash; I would want her to get on with her life. I set the beer down and just thought of all the things Sue had said. I called her that night and told her she was right and it was time that I started living again. She said that they were going to go to a house party the next weekend, and they had a friend that wanted to meet me. She told me her friend had seen some pictures of me, and she would e-mail some pictures of her, and if I wanted, she would fix us up for the party. I agreed, and she sent the pictures of Nancy for me to look at.
       
      The pictures she sent were of Nancy clothed, and I know the pictures of me that Sue had were not clothed pictures but were pictures of some of the parties we had been to. So she had the advantage over me in that regard. Nancy is a good-looking woman about 7 years younger than me, 5’6"/7" tall. She had blond hair and a good-looking body, from what I saw in her swimsuit picture. I called Sue the next day and told her that I would like to meet Nancy. She gave me her phone # and said she was expecting a call from me. She also said to be at their house at 6:30 Friday night, and we would all go to the party together.
       
      I called Nancy, and we talked for about an hour just to get to know something about each other. She knew all about Dee from Sue and said she went through something like that 3 years ago. Her husband of 18 years just up and left her with twin boys to raise. She had been single a little more than a year when her sons went off to college, and she decided to start living her life for herself. She was upfront and outspoken and said that she had always liked sex, but over the years, it had become predictable and ho-hum with her husband until he left. She told me that she got into swinging with a friend from work and her husband. She found that she liked the excitement of having sex with different people, both men and women, and she was not looking for a husband, just a fuck buddy. I agreed with her and told her I was not looking for a life partner but just needed to start living again.
       
      As Friday approached, I began to get nervous about going to the party. I knew several of the couples that were going to be there because Dee and I had been with them for some time or another. Even the thought of fucking Sue, no matter how many times she and I had fucked each other, made me nervous. I stopped by Don and Sue’s house Thursday night after work and told them I did not think I could go thou with it. We were sitting at their bar, and Sue told me I was just nervous about meeting Nancy. She said that I already knew most of the couples that would be there and I just needed to relax.
       
      Sue then took my hand and told me to come with her. She walked me into the den in front of the couch and undid my pants, and pushed them down to my knees. She then told me to sit down and got on her knees in front of me. She reached into my underwear and started to stroke my dick. I could feel my dick responding to her soft touch when she said to just close my eyes and relax and enjoy. With that, she pulled my underwear down to my knees and started to lick my hard shaft and balls. When her tongue left my balls and started up my shaft, her left hand would start holding and roll my balls around oh so softly. As her tongue got to the head of my dick, her right hand would start to stroke my shaft. Her mouth opened, and she took the head of my dick in her mouth and swirled her tongue around it. I had almost forgotten how hot her mouth felt when she would suck my dick or how good she was at it. She knew just what she was doing and how to please a man with her tongue, mouth and hands.
       
      I opened my eyes to watch her head bob up and down and see my dick disappearing and reappearing from her mouth. I saw Don sitting at the bar, just watching his wife suck another man's dick. This was not the first time Don has seen his wife suck my dick, but in the past, he was with Dee or any of the other ladies in our little group. If not, he was most likely helping me with Sue, either licking her pussy or fucking her while she sucked my dick. But to watch him sitting there fully dressed while she was sucking me was a little strange and comforting at the same time. I realized just how good of friends they both were.
       
      I started to feel my climax grow deep down. I guess it had been a while, and I felt a rush of heat as I started to shoot my cum in Sue’s mouth. She sucked and stroked my shaft to get all she could out. I also forgot just how horny Sue got when she had a fresh load of cum shot in her mouth. She was humping my leg like a dog, and I could feel the heat of her pussy through both her pants and mine. As I tried to catch my breath, she looked up and asked if I was relaxed now. I told her that I was, and she said good, now go home and have a good night's sleep and they would see me at 6:30 Friday.
       
      Don started to protest that I could not come over and get his wife all hot and bothered and just leave him there alone to take care of her. Sue kissed me on the cheek and said yes, he can because he will need all his strength for when she and Nancy get a hold of me the next night.
       
      I stood up and redid my pants and told Don good luck, and as I was leaving, I heard Sue tell him to get his clothes off right now. She needed a good hard fuck.
       
      Friday came, and I arrived at Sue and Don’s house at 6:30 as planned. Nancy was not there yet, but Sue told me that we were not expected at the party until 8. Sue, Don, and I were sitting at their bar talking, and I asked where was this party we were going to and they said it was at a couple's house (Dan and Barbara) who they had met about 8 months ago. I did not know them, and I asked if they knew that I was coming, and without knowing me, were they ok with that. Sue told me that they knew and were fine with it, also that Robert and Cathy, and David and Joann would also be there, and that they all had vouched for me. Sue asked if I was still nervous, and I said yes I was.
       
      Meeting a lady for the first time, as a single, would make any man nervous, much less one you were going to a swinging house party with her as your date. Who would not be nervous? But knowing 3 couples that were going to be there helped somewhat. (Robert and Cathy were the first couple that Dee and I ever played with when we got into swinging, and David and Joann were part of the group that we got together with for about 3 years).
       
      Nancy arrived about 15 minutes later, looking stunning. She wore a low-cut gray blouse and a black skirt that stopped about halfway to her knees. Dark stockings and black high heels. She stood 5’7", about 135 lbs., and had legs to die for. Blonde hair, blue eyes, great smile, and very well-gifted up top. Her blouse was cut just right so that the mounds of her tits were showing down to the top of her nipples. She had an incredible tan line that went from a dark bronze color to almost show white ½" above her nipples. She was in her early 40’s, and I started to feel very nervous again. The four of us sat and talked until it was time to leave for the party, Sue ran and got her party bag, and we all loaded up in their SUV for the drive over. Nancy and I were going to sit in the back seat for the drive over, and as she was getting in, I saw she had on black garters that were holding up her stockings; with her low-cut blouse, I already knew she was bra-less, panty-less, well only time would tell.
       
      We arrived at the party, and I was introduced to Dan and Barbara. They are a nice-looking couple, early 40’s early 50’s, like most of the couples there. I saw that Robert and Cathy were already there, along with David and Joann. With a total of 10 couples there at the time, that made it 3 that I knew and 6 plus Nancy that I did not know. (I kept hearing Dee’s words; Mingle and meet, Mingle and meet over and over in my head).
       
      The party was going along like most house parties did, with people greeting one another, some snacks, some drinks, music, and dancing. Small groups standing around talking, a lot of flirting going on. As time went by, there were more people in different stages of undressed. A couple would be seen walking down the hall towards one of the bedrooms, more couples would be going out to enjoy the hot tub on the patio. Everyone was having a good time excluding myself. I had almost forgotten how at ease one could be and how much fun it was to be around people that thought of recreational sex the same as Dee and I did.
       
      (You see someone and you say, "I would like to fuck that person" They look at you and say, " I would like to fuck that person", and the two of you get together and fuck. Both enjoy it, and that is that. Your spouse knows about it and, most of the time, is there to enjoy it with you if not joining in. No jealousies ,no hard feelings, no fights, and most of all, no means no. But in the back of my mind, I kept thinking that I am now a single man in a couple’s lifestyle.)
       
      I was talking to a couple when I looked towards the area that had been set aside for dancing, where I saw Nancy, Joann, and Barbara all dancing together. All three had shed their blouses and were giving one hell of a sexy dance performance. I knew from what I could see from her low-cut blouse that Nancy had a nice set of tits, but to see her dancing topless they were great. They were round and firm with nipples that stood out ¾". At 43 years of age, they were more than likely bought, but real or Memorex, I did not care. I just wanted to suck on them. Her stomach was flat and firm and showed that she took care of herself at the gym. She still had her skirt on, but those long legs and that flat-toned stomach just started me to think how beautiful the meeting place must look.
       
      When the song ended, Nancy walked over to me and put her arms around my neck and kissed me. She looked me in the eyes and said, let's go. I want to have you alone first, and I had no problem with that. We walked down the hall and checked the first two bedrooms and found them occupied. The master bedroom was at the end of the hall, and when we opened the door, we saw Sue and Dan had already gotten there. We started to close the door, and Dan said to come on in. There was more than enough room on the bed; he and Sue only needed half of it.
       
      Nancy put her arms around my neck and kissed me, and whispered that she wanted me naked. At this point, she started to unbutton my shirt. I felt her firm breast pressing against my chest as I ran my hands down her sides. Her skirt had no snaps but was held up by the elastic waistband. It was just a matter of hooking my thumbs under the waistband and stretching it out a little so it would slide down her long legs. Just as I had suspected, she was panty-less. As she undid my pants, I cupped one of her tits in my hand and lowered my mouth to her nipple. My other hand found her wet hot pussy, and I started to finger fuck her with ease. Her hands had pushed my pants down to my knees, and she was stroking my swollen cock with both of her hands. I could hear her breathing getting heavier with each passing moment as I sucked her nipple and fingered her sweet wet hole. She looked me in the eye and pulled my head closer to hers for a long sexual kiss. She started slowly going down to her knees, all the while kissing my chest and stomach. When she reached my now rock-hard shaft, she cupped my balls and the base of my dick in both hands and opened her mouth to take its head into her mouth.
       
      As I stood there getting this magnificent blow-job from this woman, I looked over to the bed. Sue and Dan had moved to the sixty/nine position, and Sue was sucking his cock like she did mine the night before. Dan had his face buried between Sue’s legs, licking her sweet pussy for all its worth. He had his hands spreading it as far as he could to get his tongue in as deep as he could. I remembered just how good Sue’s pussy tasted when she would come, and she always came from a good licking. I wondered just how Nancy’s pussy would taste and did she enjoy it as much as Sue. It would not be much longer before I would find out because of the way she was sucking my dick and watching Sue and Dan, I started to unload in her mouth. My first squirt was deep inside her mouth; the second one she had pulled back but had her mouth open so that it landed in her mouth but mostly on the tongue. As she was swallowing the first two loads, the third hit her closed lips and started to run down her chin. She wiped it off with her finger and then cleaned her finger with her tongue. She stood up and looked me in the eye, and said thank you, we kissed deep and long, and then I told her it was my turn. As she landed down on the bed, I removed my shoes, socks, and pants. She was on her back naked except for her garters and stockings.
       
      I laded down beside her and started to kiss her gently on the neck; slowly, I worked my way down to her nipples, where I sucked and nibbled on each one of them. All the while, I was running my fingers in and out of her hot wet pussy. Her pussy was neatly shaved with just a puff of blond hair left above it. I have always preferred a little hair left instead of an all-shaved pussy, (I wondered if Sue had told her that and she shaved that way just for me). I was working my way down to her honey pot, and she was opening her legs for me. I normally like to work a woman by kissing, nibbling, and sucking on the inside of their legs before I dive into pussy licking. That always seemed to bring their tension up a notch, so when I did go for the gold, they were more than ready for it. With Nancy having her garters and stockings on, that kind of blocked that approach. I soon found out that she did not need that step of foreplay; I also found out that she was anything but a quiet climaxer. I had no sooner started licking, sucking, and nibbling her pussy than she started humping and screaming and cumming. She was begging me to fuck her right then, I needed a little more time to recoup from my climax before I could go on, and she didn’t seem to want to give it to me. I looked from between the legs, and I don’t know if Sue saw the whipped dog look in my eyes or if she was so turned on by Nancy's pleading for a hard fucking or what, but Sue came to my rescue once again.
       
      Sue was on top of Dan, and he was hammering away at her for all he was worth. Sue leaned over and started kissing Nancy and telling her to let it come. I was still down licking her pussy and thinking, "Let this climax run its course, and things will settle down till I recover and can produce again. With Sue's kissing and sucking Nancy's tits and Nancy sucking on Sue’s tits and a double effect. Dan announced that he was coming, and I felt myself coming back into the game. As I slid back up on Nancy to where I could enter her, Sue sat back up on Dan and started riding him hard. She was about to have her own climax and needed to concentrate on that. Just as I put the head of my dick to Nancy’s pussy she said NO, not this way; she pushed me off and got on her hands and knees and said do me from behind; I like it this way the best.
       
      I have no problem with doggie style, so I got behind her and guided the head of my dick into her pussy. I normally like to start slowly, but Nancy told me to do it hard and fast. So I jammed it into the hilt. She instantly started to rock back and forth, and it took a couple of seconds to get into her rhythm, but I got there and was on the in-stroke when she was rocking back and on the outstroke when she was going forward. Like I said before, you know when Nancy comes, everybody knows when Nancy comes, and it did not take long for her to come doggie style.
       
      After she came down from her climax, her body just went limp, and she sank onto the bed face down. Ok, I understand about fast climaxes; been there and done that a time or two myself, but this is the first time I had experienced it happening with the woman I was with. Normally it’s the man that has this happening. I lay down beside her and put my arm around he, and kissed her on her shoulder. I can hear and feel her breathing hard, but that is all the response I get. I look over and Sue is still riding Dan’s dick. I see that glazed-over look in her eyes, one that I have seen many times before, and I know that she won’t last much longer. Just then, I see Dan arch his back and drive into Sue as deep as he can go, his hands are pulling Sue down onto his shaft, and I know that he is releasing his load into her. Sue is wide-eyed and tells him Yes, give it to me, and I know from being there that she has also reached her climax. I lay there and watched her rock back and forth as Dan kept his back arched to give her as much dick as he could. I know the feeling of her pussy muscles on a dick, and I know what he is feeling at this moment. They are constricting and relaxing, constricting and relaxing as she rocks back and forth. Milking every bit of his juice out that they can. I watch as they slow down, and then Sue collapses onto Dan’s chest; she starts that silly giggle that lets you know that you did a good job.
       
      Sue rolled onto her back next to Nancy and looked at me, and asked if I was enjoying myself, and I told him yes. Dan said he needed a drink and asked if any of us wanted one. Sue wanted a margarita, Nancy wanted a glass of ice water, and I said I could use a beer. As Dan was off to get the drinks, the three of us sat up in the bed, the women sat cross-legged, and I just slid up between them and used the headboard as a backrest. I could smell the must of just fucked pussy in the air. There were two women sitting crossed-legged with their pussies open for all to see, and I still had a hard-on. Sue spoke first and said to Nancy, " Did I not tell you he was a good fuck or not" At that point, I could have crawled under the bed, except that Sue was now rubbing my hard dick. Nancy agreed and said that she can’t wait to go again. Sue said that the night was young, but Nancy would just have to wait her turn now because she was next. Thank god Dan showed up with the drinks.
       
      The four of us sat there talking and sipping our drinks. We could hear the party going on in the other part of the house with the music and the occasional orgasm from one of the partygoers or another. Sue asked if we knew where Don was, and Dan said he saw him with Joann, to which Sue said, "Well, he will be occupied for a while". All this time, Sue was stroking my hard cock, then she said that it looked like I was ready to go again, and so was she. Nancy asked her if we could all do it like they did it at the last party. Sue looked at me and then back at Nancy and said that she thought it would be all right. I must have had a questioning look on my face because Sue told me that I would defiantly like this.
       
      Sue had me sit on the side of the bed with my feet on the floor. She then turned around and straddled me backward. I felt her guide my dick into her pussy as she sat down on my lap. " As exciting as the unknown is when having sex with a new partner, it is just as exciting as being in the know and having sex with someone that you have been with before. You know just what they like, and they know what trips your button; Sue knew just what to do to trip my button." She started to rotate her hips to give my dick that just-right grinding. Feeling her slow humping up and down along with the rotation was driving me insane. About that time, I felt a tongue wrapping around my balls and work up my shaft to where I was buried into Sue’s wet box. I looked around Sue to see Nancy on her hands and knees licking not only my balls and dick but also Sue’s wet pussy, and Dan was behind Nancy just fucking away. Sue started to rotate and moan, which caused me to shove up harder; Nancy was licking and sucking faster, which made Sue moan and rotate faster. It was like a snowball rolling downhill. The more it went on, the faster it got. I don’t know what was going on with Dan, and I did not care. I know that I came harder and longer into Sue’s pussy than I can ever remember doing. I remember falling back onto the bed with Sue laying on top of me and still feeling a tongue licking the both of us, and then I heard a far-off scream that said fuck me fuck yes fuck me.
       
      Sue was pulling on my arms and telling me it was time that we rejoined the party. We walked down the hall naked and into the den. We went to the bar, and I sat down on one of the stools. Sue went and got us both a drink and stood between my legs with her arms around my neck. She asked me what I thought of Nancy, and I told her that she was definitely different than any woman that I knew. She said that there was a long story behind that and she would tell me later, but not tonight, I laid my head down between her breast, and she was holding me and rubbing the back of my head when Don came walking up to join us.
       
      Don sat down on a stool, and Sue went over and put her arms around him and asked if he was having fun; I said that he looked like he had been road hard and put up wet. To which he came back with a one-word answer. " Joann". Sue and I just laughed, and I asked if she was still a whirlwind in bed, and he said that she was a man killer if you let her.
      Sue kissed us both and said that we men better get used to the whirlwinds because they are going to rule the world someday.
       
      Note from Jay:
      I have tried to express some of my feelings, thoughts, and happenings into the stories about how I got back into swinging after Dee’s death. I know that it is not your typical swing stories that you are used to reading here. I know that I have brought up couples out of the blue for those that have not been on this site for very long. There are stories posted by " Jay and Dee" that tells how we got started in the swinging lifestyle, how we found out that Don and Sue were swingers, and stories that were milestones in Dee’s and my journey into this wonderful lifestyle.
       
      A lifestyle that I thought had ended with Dee's death. A lifestyle of freedom, pleasure, understanding, and pure joy that I thought I would never be a part of again if it were not for Sue. Some might read into these stories that I have an infatuation with Sue. That is not true. I love Sue. If you go back and read The Surprise, you will know that I have known Sue since we were in elementary school. Her older brother was my best friend until we graduated high school; now, her husband is my best friend.
       
      If it were not for Sue and Don standing by me and pulling me out of my depression, getting me back into not only the lifestyle but life itself did I meet Pam.
       
      Pam is another story all together
       
      I lost Dee in 2004, and the stories about how I got back into the swing happened in 2006. In future stories, I will try not to go back too far into the past, but sometimes my thoughts go there, to a time, a place, or a person that is so important to me that I must bring it up for the story context.
×
×
  • Create New...