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JustAskJulie

Are you totally new to swinging or do you have experience?

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Well, Mike and I have only been together almost 4 years now. We have both had threesomes in the past in other relationships, but never swapped. And to this day, we as a couple have not done anything. Our sex life has remained just between us. I actually brought up the idea of swinging as an option to give us something that could enhance our love and diminish jealousy or insecurities in the relationship. I understand that the lifestyle could makes these worse as well but, it triggers deeper communication and helps us open up about our feeling. If that is as far as we go in this, I still count it as a success. If more comes out of the experience, I chalk it up to a bonus! We love each other deeply, have a child and know we are together for life. If we can bring more enjoyment in, why not?

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Do you already have experience with swinging? Or is this a new idea for you? If you are experienced share your experience. If you aren't tell us what experiences you'd like to have.

 

I have been swinging since 2000; started out when I was an instructor at NIIT. I've been rather tame for the past few years and am looking to get back in the game.

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JustAskJulie said:
Do you already have experience with swinging? Or is this a new idea for you? If you are experienced share your experience. If you aren't tell us what experiences you'd like to have.

I guess you could say I have swing experience, but it was a while back. In the 1980's I was living in a rural Hippie-like community. Sometimes the lines were blurred as to which partner belonged to who. Fun times.

 

My interest in swinging goes back before that though I think, probably to when I became sexually active in my late teens (late '70's). I feel like it is part of my psyche, but I suppose most every guy can say that, it is just how nature has wired us up. I've controlled or suppressed this desire before, for years at a time even, but it keeps floating back up to the surface.

 

In the mid '90's I got on the Internet, and eventually stumbled onto the term "Swing Lifestyle", which was the first time I'd heard it put that way. Since then I've been on a quest for both information, and a compatible partner. This BBS looks to be the best information source I've found so far... by a wide margin.

 

My main fetish I suppose is the Exhibitionist and Voyeuristic side of things. I discovered webcam venues for this around 2007, which is a V&E dream come true. :"> Soft-Swap is a keen interest as well. Safety is an issue for me, so Full-Swap is off on the horizon somewhere, but really, that has always been my biggest interest, so 3-some's and groups are in there too.

 

One big SNAFU for me has been that my first real lover gave me HSV2 when I was a tender 22 years old (I'm 52 now), which well explains my safety concerns. I've certainly come to grips with that by now, but my sexual energy has not really ever changed. In fact, that is how I stumbled on this BBS... with a Google search for HSV2 friendly Swing Groups, which led me to this post here.

 

What would I like to have? That is easy: A stable female partner who shares my interest and energy in play-time. It has been a long journey, and the way the deck is stacked right now I'm not holding my breath... but this Lifestyle thing is still an interest, so I pursue it. I still have my fun, so I don't worry about it all that much.

 

So I'm here for the fun of it. To learn, and perhaps to share when I can. And maybe I'll meet some kindred spirits along the way. I know that just in the few days I've been here already, I've come to learn and understand quite a bit.

 

Thanks to the host and all the contributing members that make this BBS possible.

 

Be Well... Have Fun!

 

bud

 

?

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We consider ourselves to be fairly new, although I just realized that we've been going to a local club for almost a year now. We've had a few experiences with other couples (largely same room play, although we've explored some boundaries with a couple we've met at the club), and have discussed how far we think we're comfortable exploring. For now, we have fun hanging out with our club friends, playing with a few of them now and then, and exploring what this lifestyle has to offer.

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My wife and I are totally new. One club visit down, where we watched but stayed to ourselves. Played some pool, drank, did a little exhibition in a veiled room and on some of the couches. Looking forward to going back but we are on a very slow track towards involving other people. We have had quite a few discussions about all the possibilities and are prepared but we are not rushing into anything. Considering the possibility of going to the club 2x a month and we have been looking at other clubs as well. :rolleyes:

 

This sounds very much like my SO and I. We have taken this journey very slowly, making sure that we're both OK with each step. We've made a few missteps along the way, but luckily are strong enough together that we have been able to regroup and reestablish our boundaries and comfort level. Enjoy your journey!

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The hubby and I are newbies to the swinging experience. In reading some of the posts I was relieved to find "gentlemen" among the community who seem to pour themselves into their commited relationships. My husband is very much a gentleman; we love and adore each other very much. With that being said, we find it quite interesting our desire to have a sexual encounter with another person. It was quite liberating just having the discussion without hurt or jealous feelings (of which took place just three days ago.)

 

So we are know here in this forurm and are excited to learn from the experiences of others so we can make an informed decision as to proceed or discontinue this possible lifestyle.

 

:) Mrs. Intrigued8

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I was swinging before I really knew it. Early in highschool I realized I was turned on by the. Idea of it. I was at a party my freshman year and hooked up with a guy in a spare bedroom. I was about to pull his cock out and pulled away from making out so I could see his dick. He lay on his back and I sat up to take him out. I realized the door was wide open and a group of 6or7 guys were all staring in. Instead of embarrassed I was completly turned on. I proceeded to pull his cock out and jerked him off with both hands. He was huge compared toany dick I had seen at that age and I was also turned on by the. Size of both his cock and his cum. He told me he was going to cum and I wanted to see ir all!

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My first REAL swinging experince apart from exhibition was when I was 16. :) 'I had already realized that I liked being watched. I was n the backseat of a ccar bt the boy I was dating at the time and his friend. The 2 boys in the front seat had cheered us on when they saw us makingout. I had been rubbing his dick thru his pants, and I started to feel his friend on my rt side movin alot. My date noticed when I turned and saw his friend almost playing w himself and I couldn't help the look on my face, his friends penis was starting to get hard and I was clearly visable and very big. My date smiled and guided one of my hands toward his buddies dick. I ended up giving them both hand jobs in theback. When they started 2cum I leaned over and swallowed 1load then the other. I was obsessed with group sex of any kind ever sin ce

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We're totally new. Neither of us have participated in any group sex (3some, 4some, or swap) - apart from a few cyber role plays which don't count! :rollseye:

 

Like other posters, I believe that swinging (and even being open to the concept) strengthens the core relationship. We find it very exciting to have discussions regarding a threesome or having sex with each other with another couple in the room. No one is jealous yet, and we continue to communicate with each other to keep checking to make sure everything is ok!

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My wife and I have been swinging for 10 years now, on and off. We have experience with MFMF, FMF, full swap (same room and separate) and house swap. We haven't ventured into the MFM scenario yet, but I'm sure it will happen sooner or later.

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I am 18 yrs experience as solo and as couple with previous relationships.

 

Wife was aware of my swinging past and made it known that she wasn't interested in that and didn't want to do it.

 

Well, 15yrs together and 7yrs of marriage later, she is enjoying it and wants more. After 10 yrs of planning and careful selection process, had a very successful mfm. She loved it and since the first one, we've had several. Most with males that had been hanging around as friends, waiting for her to open up her "swinger" door.

 

Are biggest problem now is controlling the emotions that i am feeling and figuring what frequency or pace we want to continue forward with.

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We are new to swinging as a couple, but I (husband) have been in a few threesomes in the past. We're very open to new experiences, so this seemed like something we'd like to try. We're discussed it for 2 1/2 years and just had our first experience at an on-premise party over the weekend and it was great. I just posted the details over in the first-time experiences forum.

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I would say that we are pretty experienced... We have been together for 14 yrs and throughout our relationship we have had relationships with others... We have had mmf, ffm, and mfmf full swap and in the same room... As of right now we have a couple we see about once a month... but we are always seeking for friends with benefits... We have been to a swingers club and been to parties but really dont feel we are "group" people... We are more couple on couple kind of people... We enjoy having drinks and talking and then having an intimate night and then waking up with them... :blush:

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Great question! For me, it will require a long answer.

I suppose that in one sense, I'm not new at all, but as a lifestyle, it's been intermittent. When I was 20 yo, I had a 30 yo GF and she was bi and very enthusiastic. At one point, quite by chance, we ended up with another woman and had an ongoing thing for a while.

Through the years I had different girlfriends and was always a bit leery of bringing the topic up with them. The few times I did, they looked at me as if I had a third eye. I always felt like I would have nice memories but no new experiences.

About ten years ago I began a relationship with a woman that I had been a platonic friend with for twenty years. She was divorced from her husband and we were discussing his cheating and how the dishonesty is what really destroyed the marriage. She had always been interested in women, but had never acted upon it. We agreed prior to getting together that we would have an open relationship and be able to explore with other people solo and as a couple. This seems to run contrary to many who choose to only play together exclusively. Her interests were only with other women and not other men or couples. We enjoyed a number of close friendships with women. Although it would have been easier to explore this lifestyle as a couple with couples, I have never been one to manipulate or pressure my partner into anything. To complicate matters, about five years ago, she had endometrial cancer and is unable to have intercourse without pain. Hope this isn't TMI. She has had solo experiences with women, and has a single profile on SLS, although she isn't real big on getting online and pursuing things.

I have been to a few house parties back east and played with several couples and single women here in Louisiana. I don't know if I'm a swinger or just a non-traditional guy. I'm sure someone will have an opinion. . .

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I have tried to get my wife to go to a swingers club or just plain fun swaps with friends for years and years, long before the swinging groups and computer searching, guess what, nothing. It has reached the stage that her latest thing is that we are too old. Sigh, sigh, alas and woe..:nono::sad:

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I've had several FFM experiences with couples and have really enjoyed them. I've had one MFM experience but my partner had an unexpected issue with jealousy so that didn't happen again (but it sure was fun, lol).

 

I've been to a club once, with a platonic male friend (we went in as singles, not as a couple) and it was a wonderful experience.

 

I don't know if any of those count as swinging, though - do they?

As a newbie myself, SURE they count as swinging... there are just many varieties....

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I suppose that we are essentially new to swinging. We have had a previous experience (testing the waters) at a swingers club a couple years ago. It was just the 2 of us having sex in a curtained area of the club. Since then, we have discussed our boundaries and may be ready for the "full monte" as we have discussed.

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I suppose that we are essentially new to swinging. We have had a previous experience (testing the waters) at a swingers club a couple years ago. It was just the 2 of us having sex in a curtained area of the club. Since then, we have discussed our boundaries and may be ready for the "full monte" as we have discussed.

 

I've talked to my wife (ThePinkHalf) about doing the club and just having fun together. How did this go for you, was it pretty laid back?

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I have tried to get my wife to go to a swingers club or just plain fun swaps with friends for years and years, long before the swinging groups and computer searching, guess what, nothing. It has reached the stage that her latest thing is that we are too old. Sigh, sigh, alas and woe..:nono::sad:

 

You are never too old, I would say. My wife and I have discussed having a threesome with another guy and I think she really wants to do it.

 

A few nights back she mentioned, while we were in cuddle mode in bed (no sex) and talking that we should join a swing club. Was she kidding? I don't know for sure.

 

Then the next day we ended up having amazing sex in the swimming pool. Mind you, we have no privacy fence, or hedgerow and the neighbors were in and out of their houses, doing chores, barbecuing, etc while we went at it.

 

Last night I mentioned that I had booked us on a "Swingers Cruise" for an upcoming cruise vacation in August. She seemed to like that idea, but alas, our cruise is not a "Swingers Cruise." Maybe we will end up hooking up with a guy or a couple while onboard. I think both of us are open to the idea.

 

As you can tell, we have yet to take the plunge that I know for sure I want to take. I am 95 percent sure she wants to explore group sex, threesomes, swinging at least once. And with both of us in our 50s now, I think the time to do it is now.

 

It's not that we are old...we are just a more mature version of younger, that's all.

 

I am happy I found this amazing site and look forward to posting, reading and learning from all of you nice folks.

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Hi everyone, first post here.

 

The idea of swinging was brought up to me by a friend of mine who has been swinging with his girlfriend's friends for a while.

 

I work as a male model in the adult video industry and I was in a long relationship untill recently. When I had sex on film it was just work so my girlfriend didn't mind but we were monogomous at home. Well I just became single and another male model sugjested to me that I get in to the swinger scene and that I should only date a girl who is ok with swinging.

 

Only thing like swinging I've ever done was I met with a married couple right after I got single and showed them my photos and video from work, she was 48 and I was 24 and her husband was 53 and liked to watch. We all had dinner and chatted and then he watched his wife and I. It was absolutely amazing (in terms of chemistry)

 

So here I am freshly out of a strict relationship with a long list of sexual history on film but nearly no experience swinging in my personal life (except the once).

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I am very new to the lifestyle however my boyfriend has some expirance, well alot ..lol..but im very new, with none

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I have tried to get my wife to go to a swingers club or just plain fun swaps with friends for years and years, long before the swinging groups and computer searching, guess what, nothing. It has reached the stage that her latest thing is that we are too old. Sigh, sigh, alas and woe..:nono::sad:

I was too in this situation. Withg my ex for 16 boring years. I tried all angles too. You might need to forget about the lifestyle if she is not interested. You can lead a horse to water, but you can`t make her suck off your friend. Sorry maybe not funny, but true. This is why she`s my ex. Nice lady, but I knew I was different than her, so I moved on and met my new gal and we have been swinging foe the last 3 1/2 years. I am not saying you should leave her. What I am saying is that you will need to decide what is important to you.

  • Confused 1

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Hi every one. We just moved to Arizona from NH where the lifestyle is huge. We are not new. We hosted many partys, including 3 day summer fuckfests. Went to other house partys and clubs. We are still getting settled down here but would love to meet some others in our area. Is there anyone around Tucson? How do we find them? lol.....

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good question.no i have been in a few swing paries. love it!

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I would say-I said on here before,I had some experience.But it was basically trying things out in college with other single friends,or trying things out with people I knew...

but none of us were in any swing communities.

Don't really have experience with the clubs or parties,and have only been swinging as a single.

I'd like to visit clubs,parties.Nudist groups that are lifestyle friendly.I'm not really interested in bdsm-I'm more into sex,not the power thing.

I have tried a MMF 3some,a FFM 3some.

Interest in orgies, gang-bangs, FFF 3somes, polyamorous relationships.

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Hi, My Wife is totally new to swinging and has been against it for years. Her biggest hang up is STD and a concern to both of Us.

She has expressed a little interest in playing with another Woman so I suggested a Swingers Club and She has agreed to go.

We will be at a club in LV on Aug 1 and if things go well Aug 2.

My goal is for Her to have a very good experience so what ever She wants is OK.

Regardless of the outcome it will be great experience for both of Us and hope to have many more.:)

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New to this but i no we are both freaks so hope emotions do not ruin it for us. i think its going to be great even if we do not meet a couple at the party i would love to have sex with my love in front of a bunch of other sex crazed couples :)

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Hi, My Wife is totally new to swinging and has been against it for years. Her biggest hang up is STD and a concern to both of Us.

She has expressed a little interest in playing with another Woman so I suggested a Swingers Club and She has agreed to go.

We will be at a club in LV on Aug 1 and if things go well Aug 2.

My goal is for Her to have a very good experience so what ever She wants is OK.

Regardless of the outcome it will be great experience for both of Us and hope to have many more.:)

 

We went to the Club Monday night and imediatly meet a very good looking Young Man. We talked with Him for an hour and He asked if We wanted to go to a bedroom. Wife said not yet. We got naked and into jacuzi for a little bit. He asked Her again and She said Yes. The next 2 hours fullfilled most all of My fantasies and gave Her a very good and pleasant 1st time experience.

The Young Man was very gentle with Her and let Her decide how far She wanted to go.

He does not go to clubs often and this was just Our Lucky Day! He says He will call Us and wants to come to Our Hotel for another great evening.

As far as the club goes We were to busy to really get involved and check out the other activities.:)

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We r new to the swingers board but have enjoyed the lifestyle for about 15 years.We r both very voyeuristic and exhibistionist and luv clubs and group parties. Have traveled to swing resorts and enjoy meeting new cpls.

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Lisa and I have 15 yrs experience as we started in the lifestyle when she was 22 and I was 26. We enjoy group fun more than anything else.

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My husband and I have an open relationship. He doesn't do the lifestyle stuff, but I do. He started sharing me before we got married, and it continues today. Our relationship has been "open" for about 4 years.

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New to this but i no we are both freaks so hope emotions do not ruin it for us. i think its going to be great even if we do not meet a couple at the party i would love to have sex with my love in front of a bunch of other sex crazed couples :)

We have done the soft group sex and it was great, but the wife will not have sex with another. Good luck and have fun

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we did our first swing thing. im not going to lie i had some anxiety but loved it non the less i think i need to learn to relax and enjoy it i feel the anxiety messed with my performance a little bit. she loved it had a pretty good buzz going on but said the next day she wants to go do it again :) .may be next week will see.

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We had been talking about it for years now but it had never gone beyond the fantasy stage. Last fall created our profile online, and this past spring we started meeting couples. Looking back I think moving slowly was the right choice, because if we had tried it before we were ready to I don't think it would have gone as well as it has.

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I'm totally new. Only been experimenting for a month. Had 5 experiences to date.

 

Prior to this I was in ltrs for the past 20 years...totally monogamous. But in order to be totally monogamous, I had to shut down my sexuality. Along with my sexuality there was a hardening of my spirit and a dampening of my creativity and capacity to love. In short, I was a bitch. The benefits of monogamy did not outweigh the loss of my own passion.

 

Then I met my current boyfriend, who is a swinger and we fell hard and fast. So, I started to do some research. What I found, shocked me. Humans weren't made to be monogamous and open relationships have a better statistical rate of lasting a long time.

 

I can't say that I haven't already had a few issues about The Lifestyle but none of them were areas where I thought I would have problems. I thought I would have major jealousy issues. There are a few, but nothing like what I thought and none of them really related to swinging, just general jealousy related to our personal situation. The hardest thing I ever did was tell bf about my first experience. Being open and honest was harder than I thought but it got easier.

 

There are still many areas that require exploration but so far, I'm happy and looking forward to more. We still haven't done same room or any #-some-stuff together but it will happen.

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I'm totally new. Only been experimenting for a month. Had 5 experiences to date.

 

Prior to this I was in ltrs for the past 20 years...totally monogamous. But in order to be totally monogamous, I had to shut down my sexuality. Along with my sexuality there was a hardening of my spirit and a dampening of my creativity and capacity to love. In short, I was a bitch. The benefits of monogamy did not outweigh the loss of my own passion.

 

Then I met my current boyfriend, who is a swinger and we fell hard and fast. So, I started to do some research. What I found, shocked me. Humans weren't made to be monogamous and open relationships have a better statistical rate of lasting a long time.

 

I can't say that I haven't already had a few issues about The Lifestyle but none of them were areas where I thought I would have problems. I thought I would have major jealousy issues. There are a few, but nothing like what I thought and none of them really related to swinging, just general jealousy related to our personal situation. The hardest thing I ever did was tell bf about my first experience. Being open and honest was harder than I thought but it got easier.

 

There are still many areas that require exploration but so far, I'm happy and looking forward to more. We still haven't done same room or any #-some-stuff together but it will happen.

Whoahblackbetty,

 

it is a treat to hear that you have decided to enjoy your life to the full, I am still between a rock and a hard place with my wife, I think it has alot do do with narrow minded past beliefs that has been put on us by the church and society.

 

Just carry on and enjoy life.

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I am new to swinging. I've had sex in monogamous relationships and once as friends with benefits. I talked about swinging once with one partner and she was hesitant, which I respected. I'd like to enjoy adult fun with women as well as with more than one woman at once. I'm open to playing with a couple if I'm comfortable with both partners. I'm also open to new experiences that others might show me along the way.

 

Do you already have experience with swinging? Or is this a new idea for you? If you are experienced share your experience. If you aren't tell us what experiences you'd like to have.

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me and hubby are new.We had tried a soft swap with a couple once and injoyed it very much.Were not sure to go about finding other couple in the area because we like to click first any help

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