Who brought up the idea of swinging? OR has it been brought up?

[chowhound86 15]

About 15 years ago I was telling my wife about something I had done in high school and she had filed it away in her mind. This past April she said she would like to see me fulfill a fantasy for her and like any good husband I readily agreed.

[sandy_paws 15]

my husband brought it up.. he knows that I dabbled in girl-girl in college, and we have now been talking (our relationship has always been honest, and open discussions before any judgements)

 

I think it will be an adventure, and good for both of us. He's really "anti social" and I used to be really social. Thru the 7 yrs we've been married, I've kind of become a home body.

 

He used to be really sexual (in past relationships), and he was my first. So thru the 7 yrs, I've kind of limited him in that aspect. So I am hoping to learn how to be my own sexual being thru this experience.

 

It just seems to be the right place and the right time for learning, growing, and advancing as a couple for us.

[Agentsforfun 15]

Well, he brought up the idea of seeing me with another woman, and about wet himself when I said I was very interested. Reading through this site, we have both learned to take things slowly, and not cross any boundaries too quickly. We want to have soft FFM with the ladies playing together while he only plays with me. The idea of him doing more is definately a turn on for me and I have told him, but we both agree to crawl before running here.

 

And I kissed my first woman this past Friday...and liked it a LOT!

[kcwordsmith 15]

I brought it up a couple years ago while making love. We've talked about it other times, too, but just in a very general sense. Her reaction has been positive but we never take it to the next level. It seems to be one of those things that sounds like a good idea initially but then you start thinking of the reasons why it might not work. I know I would like to see her with another man or woman, or I think I know that. As for her, she's put on a few pounds but is still attractive but she's become very self conscious about her body. That would be a barrier to meeting and getting naked with new people, I know. The more I think about it the more conflicted I become. I have no problem with sex outside the marriage for either partner ... yet I know if I did something like that and she found out about it she would be hurt. So maybe deep down inside I do feel swinging is wrong even though it seems like something I'd enjoy. I do know after 34 years of marriage sex has become routine for us. New adventures with others would certainly spice things up if we could really enter into it without guilt and jealously. Have I rambled enough?

[Supernova1963 15]

7 years ago, after being 15 years married, we realized that we need to spice up our adult life. Raising kids and being in the daily treadmill slowed down erotic and passion. As usual, the male part brought up and we became member of a large swinger platform. She was hesitant and unsure for the beginning, and even short calling stop due to some bad experiences ( … met with couples who did not understand the word beginner and and show / watch only). But, being a Capricorn, she voted for a summer vacation, where we found a hideaway to start very slowly our first steps. In addition met a nice couple, which became close friends. Now she is hooked and driving the train …..

[justifiedcouple 15]

It was a discussion that gradually evolved. We have a great sex life and very open minds, so we have always shared our deepest fantasies with each other. He has a craving for variety, and I have a craving for kinkier sex and scenarios, so swinging fits right into those desires.

 

The thought of adding someone else into our play has become very attractive to us over the last year or so, and we have had many discussions that focus on how to do this the right way for us.

[Sammy & Maryann 18]

Like justified couple the idea evolved. I had been married previously and we had a threesome which turned out badly, but at the time it was a big turn on, so the idea had been in my head for years. Maryann and I would talk about our fantasies, and they just gradually evolved.

[1sexycouple 15]

yes we have mentioned swinging and it was both of our idea

[shayjim123 15]

It started with my giving him erotic short stories I'd written for him. Some were very explicit about fantasies involving watching him with another woman. After he realized I was secure enough in our relationship to help him/us realize these fantasies we set out to meet people we could relate to. That was two years into our now six year relationship. Since then we've experienced 2 couples, several FMF, and one MFM. All of which were pretty positive.

[akdreddog24 17]

Before my wife and i met i was a bottom for this black guy with a beautiful 11in cock.(miss it) when we would make love we would talk about it and it would turn her on. I told her i miss sucking cock she said she would love to see that. I signed up on sls but she did not know at first, had no pics and was seeing no action. On our anniversary she got a guy friend to come over, he was a no show and she was really sad, so i showed her the website. She was so excited took the cock by the balls and jumped right in. We have been playing for just over a year and she get so wet watching me suck a hard cock and loves to share it with me. This lifestyle had made an awesome sex life even better. We have made all our fantasies come true now we are adding new ones.

[swinginCO 18]

We brought it up together. We did a three way once then took a break for 5 months. At this point it has only been me watching get it on or a three ways. We are still trying to find a couple we can do a full swing with (or even a soft swing).

 

Sent from my phone using Taptalk2

[4BiddenDezirez 15]

My wife & I had been dating about a week & we were swimming one night with a very good friend of hers.Her friend was a very beautiful BBW with hube breasts & was wearing an almost nothing bathing suit.There was alot laughter,horseing around, playing, between all of us in the water.My wifes friend excused herself to get a drink.While she was gone my wife{who was my new girlfriend then},& I were ever so pazzionately kizzing & getting real frisky.It was then that she shared her inner most sexual dezirez with me.I could see that she was scared as to how I would react.I kizzed her deeply & asked if she was sure.In responce she stripped naked & pulled my trunks off.When her friend had returned my wife & I were laying out on a large blanket & she was ravishing my cock.Her friend just stood & watched & you could see that she was getting rapidly turned on.My wife stood up & walked over to her friend & began to softly kizz her.Her friend was uncertain at first then gave into her arousal.I watched as the two of them kizzed.Hence the beginning of a wonderful 12 yrs of marriage & awesome pazzionate sex life.God Bless my wife & her sexual nature.

[junglejane 15]

My husband and I had enough wine for him to tell me he had a fantasy about watching me get fucked by another man. Well, that shocked the hell out of me. I told him I didn't see that happening, and I certainly wouldn't ever want to see him with another woman. But his fantasy got in my head, and I started thinking, "What if?" That converstion was less than three months ago, and I have to say that watching another woman make him come is way cool. I always stop what I'm doing to watch him get off. Oh, and he's gotten his wish as well. It's all good. Very good!

 

Jane

[rng 37]

I brought it up to my wife although we have not done anything physical yet we have talked about and put a profile on sls we have e-mailed other couples but she always finds a problem and it does not go any further, but during that time she does become extemely horny and our sexy play seems to go further in the direction of playing with another couple. I feel its just a matter of time.

[richandsteph98 15]

Hubby and I have been talking about this for over a year now. And talking some more. He had an experience way before I came along with his girl at the time and another couple. It wasn't a full swap, just the guys with their girls and the girls with each other. Neither couple were swingers, it was just the right timing I guess. The story of that experience has left me wanting the same.

Rich and I have a very strong marriage and in the last few years we have really opened up about our sex life. I admitted that I fantasize about being with another woman and he admitted that he wants to watch me with another man. My fantasy seemed pretty standard, but his really took me by surprise. We agreed that bringing another woman into the bed would be fun, but weren't sure how to go about it. Was there someone we knew that we'd be comfortable with? Do we hire someone? Try to pick someone up at a bar? The first option sounded okay, the last two were definitely out. Eventually we ruled out the first option as well. It was just such a risk and if the other party wasn't interested, would they then tell our other friends what happened? Now what?

Rich came up with the idea to look into swinging. There must be single females in the lifestyle. The more we researched it, the more excited we became at the thought of another couple instead of the single girl. We came up with our groundrules, created our SLS account, and started meeting new couples. I did get my girl experience (it was great!) but the guys were not available that day. We continue to talk about what we both want, what is unacceptable, and our concerns about feelings of jealousy. We have even started talking about full swap with the right couple!! I think as long as we keep the communication open, we will find this lifestyle is a great fit for us. We are easing into it. And if swapping never happens, we still have made some great friends along the way, enhanced our sex life, and strengthened our marriage.

[macknasty24 15]

I brought up the idea, it was a turn on for the both of us during and after having sex to talk about the idea of having someone else in our bed.Then I let her know that this was more than just talk, i wanted it to happen for real. Then one day out of the blue she asked if I was serious about it, and that she had someone in mind. And the rest is history

[KAZUALCPLE 33]

After bringing up the idea to my wife I thought I'd see what type of support is out there were I can show her it's not that uncommon or weird to do. About 30 years ago my now ex-wife and I enjoyed swinging very much. My current wife of 12 years thinks I'm crazy, but I want to show her examples of just how much fun and exciting things can really be. It made my ex happy and that made me happy. I'd like to share the experience with my current wife so I can see her getting the most enjoyment and fulfillment possible. She doesn't know what she's missing!

[NHswingSet 38]

I brought it up to the wife. I want it to strengthen our trust in each other.

[dovedark 15]

we are both researching . Female is the one who brought it up again and finally did something about it.. much to the delight of dear hubby.

[wayneincalif 16]

Wayne has brought the idea up so we are taking it slow

[midnitesurprise 16]

We SHOW OFF a LOT and I have several sites and groups as well and decided it was time to take it further and have even MORE FUN! And because I have some experience, I want her to experience it as well and together too. We have had issues in the past, but past them and just another way to keep going and be able to do things together we can both enjoy. As well as a way to enhance our relationship and do something different and possitive.

[natalie3442 72]

it was pretty much a mutual thing, though my husband actually brought up the subject.

[rachel66 16]

About 7 years ago, my husband was having some health problems that diminished his sexual performance and he suggested that I find a lover. His health improved but we continued to enjoy having other partners. I'm a hotwife so it's mainly my needs.

[ItTook36years 15]

About 2 years ago the wife and I were watching t.v. She look at me and said " I'm board. Want to have a threesome or an orgy" my jaw hit the floor and my mind went crazy for about 6 months with feelings of joy, and jealousy. We'd spoke about it before but inever took it to serious. Got very busy lately but the last 3 months or so we've gotten hot on it. Life's to short not to experiance as much as possible.

[gatita78 20]

It actually grew to this. After some talking with my husbands we decided to swing. In the beginning we swapped with couples, but now I am the only one left swinging with different men.

[jdsnow 15]

My wife and I just started talking about fantasies and I brought up the subject of swinging but didn't know anything about it. I think I'm more motivated to see my fantasies realized than she is. So this may or maynot happen, but I'm just going to learn and certainly not push or coerce her into anything. Our intimate life is pretty good. I just think it could be outstanding.

[RedRiver 15]

I actually brought up the idea to my husband. He was very surprised to say the least! It took him a while to absorb the idea but now he is more excited about it. I have only been with 1 man and can't fathom the idea of NEVER having another partner, and my husband understands that. Its wonderful now as we are both on the same page, our rules are very clear and we are looking forward to meeting up with some new people and seeing where it goes!

[hsc 15]

We kind of discovered it together. We had several discussions about fantasies. My wife had always wanted to be with a woman. From that our discussions went to, how do we get that done... It brought us to inquiries on the internet, that led us to the swinging community. We are soft swap only at this time and not sure if we will ever venture to full swap...

[london34 15]

Hi, I'm new here! London... I went to one event, and the couple let me watch them having sex. I was really into it... but shy, so I went off to be alone in the bathroom... it was a private event. But I would love to do that again!

[tnt48-88 15]

My husband I have reached a total respect and trust level in our relationship and want to take our expieriances to a new hights.

We live in Texas not far from Dallas.

I (tnt88jean) am straight and seeking to fulfill a fantasy of a sexual encounter while blindfolded.

My husband (tnt48david) is bicourious and is totaly turned on by feminim transsexuals. He is seeking a first time encounter.

tnt48david wears his heart on his sleave so please be kind.

Hope to hear from you,

 

Jean

[Mimigirl 23]

Both the BF and I are new to the scene. He started things off by taking us to the porn theater and I've gradually gotten more daring. Now we are looking for a couple to play with. However, I am having issues with the "green eyed monster" and get very emotional (not in a good way) when I think of him with another woman, which is something he wants. I think I am here to try and reconcile our desires with my visceral reaction when he brings it up. I'm sure I will find some really great advice on this sight. It is truly amazing how open and accepting everyone is.

[Baakpon 15]

I am a single male. I met a girl at work who was in a commited relationship(engaged). We were drawn to eachother physically. Intelleactually we were more than compatible. Nerds too . We hung out some and let me know they were swingers. We did some stuff and spent some time togather and when I felt comfortable( I am very private) I told her I was bi and it turns out her fiancee is as well. hmm freinds and friends and friends. My best story about that.

 

 

Edit: Sorry... just realized this question is reffering to couples only. Remove if you need to, I would but I do not know how atm.

[Baron-n-kitty 104]

I actually brought it up to the wife. Weve been married almost 10 years and before we were married we were both Bi. I suppose we are both still bi but, since weve been married weve had 0 contact with anyone outside our bedroom. I guess like anything else you havent done in a long time you want to go back and do it again if it was fun. So, really thats the one thing me and the wife cannot give each other. Sure....its going to be a hell of alot easier for her to find a lady to play with than me to find a fella and thats fine. Thats just how it is. We havent done anything about it yet. Not sure if we will or not. Im completly on board for trying but, shes not quite there yet. And thats ok too.

But, I reckon after the Red Rooster trip we might get to re-evaluate where we want to go with all this. Hell, just the fact that we are discussing it is a win in my book. Would love to share her with people. Think it would be fun and bring us closer together as a couple. Thats about it.

[Mr&MrsV 45]

Ok so I have a unique situation in that I was previously married 5 years to the love of my life and he sadly passed away 2 years ago. A few years into that relationship I brought it up but ultimately nothing came of it. I think both of us were bad communicators and frankly I was still really insecure...anyway we were always very open sexually (even went to a sex club once).

 

Fast forward 2 years now I am in a committed monogamous relationship and we plan to marry June 2014. He is deployed and we have quite of bit of time to chat during his downtime from missions. It started out with him writing me very erotic emails detailing fantasies. I guess I started to roll with it and I have REALLY been enjoying all of the sexual chats we have. One day I had been reading an "anonymous confessions" post in a FB group and I saw SO many posts about spouses having affairs, cheating, lying...the sheer disregard and lack of love I saw in these confessions just shocked and scared me.

 

Overcoming my husbands death has been the hardest thing I have ever done and our marriage wasn't perfect by any means but I imagined many more years. The thought of marrying someone AGAIN and taking all those risks - risks of years together - risks of infidelity and monotony just really started to scare me and thus began to re-visit my initial curiosity into a more alt lifestyle.

 

I am the one that brought this up. Mr. V is willing to explore and research and see where it takes us but he has major reservations so we have agreed to take things really slow. Specifically he needs to come home and we need to spend time doting on each other! I think I only brought this up because I wanted to be honest with him that if we were going to marry that this is something that I would like to at least explore.

 

I don't know where it will lead. We don't know what we are even comfortable with because we haven't been in these situations. We're trying to find a way to get our feet wet without making a choice we might later regret.

[MrsGrisham 15]

I can disagree on one thing there but it could depend on where you live. It is A LOT harder for me to find a woman than it would be for my husband to find a man for him (hes not into that, just using it as an example). He has had BUNCHES of offers compared to my 2-3 and we've been looking for a few years now. I've thankfully had the chance to finally get with a woman in a threesome with my husband. First time with a woman (going all the way). Had a good time and hoping again. Good luck with whatever you two chose!

[MrsGrisham 15]

Ok so I have a unique situation in that I was previously married 5 years to the love of my life and he sadly passed away 2 years ago. A few years into that relationship I brought it up but ultimately nothing came of it. I think both of us were bad communicators and frankly I was still really insecure...anyway we were always very open sexually (even went to a sex club once).

 

Fast forward 2 years now I am in a committed monogamous relationship and we plan to marry June 2014. He is deployed and we have quite of bit of time to chat during his downtime from missions. It started out with him writing me very erotic emails detailing fantasies. I guess I started to roll with it and I have REALLY been enjoying all of the sexual chats we have. One day I had been reading an "anonymous confessions" post in a FB group and I saw SO many posts about spouses having affairs, cheating, lying...the sheer disregard and lack of love I saw in these confessions just shocked and scared me.

 

Overcoming my husbands death has been the hardest thing I have ever done and our marriage wasn't perfect by any means but I imagined many more years. The thought of marrying someone AGAIN and taking all those risks - risks of years together - risks of infidelity and monotony just really started to scare me and thus began to re-visit my initial curiosity into a more alt lifestyle.

 

I am the one that brought this up. Mr. V is willing to explore and research and see where it takes us but he has major reservations so we have agreed to take things really slow. Specifically he needs to come home and we need to spend time doting on each other! I think I only brought this up because I wanted to be honest with him that if we were going to marry that this is something that I would like to at least explore.

 

I don't know where it will lead. We don't know what we are even comfortable with because we haven't been in these situations. We're trying to find a way to get our feet wet without making a choice we might later regret.

 

You at least started out the way you should have. Take it very slowly. Don't want to do anything you'd regret. Good luck!

[MrsGrisham 15]

I actually brought it up to the wife. Weve been married almost 10 years and before we were married we were both Bi. I suppose we are both still bi but, since weve been married weve had 0 contact with anyone outside our bedroom. I guess like anything else you havent done in a long time you want to go back and do it again if it was fun. So, really thats the one thing me and the wife cannot give each other. Sure....its going to be a hell of alot easier for her to find a lady to play with than me to find a fella and thats fine. Thats just how it is. We havent done anything about it yet. Not sure if we will or not. Im completly on board for trying but, shes not quite there yet. And thats ok too.

But, I reckon after the Red Rooster trip we might get to re-evaluate where we want to go with all this. Hell, just the fact that we are discussing it is a win in my book. Would love to share her with people. Think it would be fun and bring us closer together as a couple. Thats about it.

 

I can disagree on one thing there but it could depend on where you live. It is A LOT harder for me to find a woman than it would be for my husband to find a man for him (hes not into that, just using it as an example). He has had BUNCHES of offers compared to my 2-3 and we've been looking for a few years now. I've thankfully had the chance to finally get with a woman in a threesome with my husband. First time with a woman (going all the way). Had a good time and hoping again. Good luck with whatever you two chose!

[lovesattention 15]

I started the discussion. Pushed a little too hard at first and he got really jealous. Then he decided to try and surprise me with someone and he didn't handle himself so well. The three of us worked through it that night but he is taking it really hard emotionally. Not sure what's going on now.

[corymicht 15]

my boyfriend brought up the idea. He is not new to it but I am.

[CaptainFantasmo 15]

I guess I (female) brought it up, but I'm not really sure. We were just talking about this actually. I just remember telling my husband that I was attracted to women, and I thought that I was bisexual. My best friend from childhood is a lesbian, and we experimented as kids, and I think that kind of brought things out for me, but I never thought more about it until it came up with my husband. At that point we just wanted to have a threesome, but since that is such a rare thing we looked into swinging. Then we found out that we're both OK with it, and he's even comfortable with me doing things with other men, although full swap is not really for us. I don't mind him being with other women, I actually enjoy it, but I don't really want to be with other men, and he doesn't want it either. So for us, I guess swinging just kind of happened, and we went into it blind. It wasn't bad, but we did find out that full swap is not for us.

[sweetiepieCO 15]

I've always wanted to expirence It and try something with fmf and mfm.. excited!!

[Wifeypoo 42]

Neither one of us brought it up. Our neighbors did as they were trying to seduce us! We gave it some thought (about two years worth). Passed on the neighbors (now divorced). Headed down to the local club and dove in! Still swimming through the in's and out's. I'm sure we'll step in a few holes along the way (or may have already).....but MAN....this is fun. We have great communication, so whatever life (or lifestyle) has to throw at us...bring it on!

[36tncouple 19]

Hubby did and at first I had no idea what he was talking about getting involved in. Here we are years later (after lots of research and growth on my part) enjoying sexual experiences together of the threesome kind.

[SK3 15]

I'm not sure which of us brought it up first. It might have been me, or him, but it was absolutely something we both were feeling each other out for since the start of our relationship (nearly 5 years ago.)

 

We discussed threesomes and swapping first as a general, 'would you ever?' way. Then as we got more and more comfortable with each other when discussing fantasies. My partner absolutely loves hearing about my past sexual experiences when we're in bed together and was genuinely disappointed when I finally ran out of new stories. So we started exploring fantasies and got really excited about creating new experiences together.

[Sensualbicouple 121]

Hi,

 

Mrs Sensual here. It all started with me stumbling across a club during my lunch break when I was about 22yo. I made the suggestion to my husband (was my boyfriend then) and we both checked it out. It was nerve wracking at first to say the least but the couple who ran the club were very accommodating and it went off without a hitch. We visited that club a few more times and thoroughly enjoyed it. Then after a few years, we moved countries, then moved to a smaller country town and when we discovered there were no clubs here, entered the online community.

[Guy1964 177]

It was brought up when (female) friend wife works with talked to her about us coming to a club with them. We decided we aren't ready for the level of activity she describes, but we want to know more.

[AndrewandAnn 359]

Who brought it up?

 

I think I did.

 

It was during one of our many long discussions about our various fantasies and turn-ons.

 

Ann has always fantasized about threesomes (M-F-M) and moresomes, and I have have, too, so it wasn't a big stretch.

 

And we've had a couple of unplanned soft swing experiences that developed and we enjoyed them both and wished they had gone farther.

[Sumduva 15]

I def did...within two weeks of dating. I wanted to know from the start if he was willing. Lucky me. He is. :}

[ravenleegood223 15]

we met on a four sum. Never thought to find some one in that manner. It has happen never the less. I am very Blessed with her in my life. We backed away from life style for a while. Then here and there have met a few people and couple. We prefer finding friends over fast encounters.

[coravel 15]

i (the wife) was the one to bring it up, ihave had experince with it before and my husband has explored very little, i'm more or less trying to make him more comfortable with the idea, it sounds good in his mind, but not sure if he is ready to actully try anything, so we're testing the waters slowly but surely, if anything even the thought has brought our sex life to a whole new level! i can't wait to dive in! i'm hoping this site helps him understand a little more and is more open minded to alot more knowing its not him being silly for having thses thoughts, there is alot of people out there who do it, and its fine!