Who brought up the idea of swinging? OR has it been brought up?

[swmnkdinthervr 52]

This was brought up by Mr Swm, We were dating and had just become intimate, he explained that since we were getting more serious that he should be upfront with me about his interests. (we've been members here a while as I'll explain later)

 

I (Mrs Swm) was previously married for 33 years to a man that was controlling, a philanderer and somewhat emotionally abusive, it's no wonder I never had an orgasm before meeting my present husband! I am now incredibly multi-orgasmic!!! My parents are also extremely conservative, not religiously or politically but I doubt they have ever seen each other with their clothes of with the light on even if they did have 6 kids!

 

Fortunately for Mr Swm and myself I was never told sex was nasty, dirty, wrong or anything negative...it was never even talked about. When he began to discuss/explain the lifestyle I found myself both intrigued and somewhat frightened. The Mr was a wise man, he brought me here to read about everyone's experiences.

 

The "lifestyle" has only enhanced our already incredible sex life, deep love, trust and respect for each other!!! Neither of us has any use for wasted emotions like jealousy or insecurity and we can't imagine anyone claiming love for their spouse/SO/GF that wouldn't want to make the utmost pleasure available to them! Our activity in the lifestyle in no way defines us nor is this more than a hobby for lack of a better term.

 

Have a super NEW YEAR everyone!!!

[mrfixit 15]

My Mrs. brought up the subject when we lived in California, after we had been together for a little over a year, said she had dabbled in swinging with her ex, he did not have the personality for it, became involved with the other dudes wife on the side.

 

Said she enjoyed the play, and trusted me to never do that kind of thing, and would I be interested in meeting one of her girlfriends to explore? WELL YEAH!

I am a southern man from the bible belt, out of a 25 yr relationship with an ex wife that was a prude and I get offered the chance to explore this with the new love of my life, I was all in!

 

Not all that many experiences over the years, but remember everyone, We have made some great friends and some people We hope never to see again just everyone else.

 

The wife's health, (Fibro, Diabetes, Asthma) have slowed us down, sometimes she is up to going out and having a little fun, some times not, but whatever happens, I am beside her all the way.

[sexyrose582 15]

My husband had shown some interest in open marriage/swinging. After a while it sounded interesting to me since I had only ever been with him and wanted to find out what else was out there. Now I am happily married to my husband, who I live apart from during the week due to work, I have a steady boyfriend where I work and I swing with both of them. I don't know if there is a label for what I am but I am having a great time!

[d62173 15]

Mine when we were dating... my wifes now that she is going through sexual peak...

[HornyHapyCouple 15]

Both of us want to experience fun people and new sensual sensations with other couples. We are particularly interested in playing with females together and i think it would make for a good balance to have interaction with couples who are looking to enhance their sensual experiences.

 

We have a super sex life together Jack is such a wonderful lover that i think it's only fair that we share

 

Hope to connect with some great people here!

 

xxx Jill

[Loomster 16]

We had hit a wall and he decided we either had to have sex or split up. We started adding people to the bedroom when we realized our relationship is fantastic, we just like haveing sex a lot and we were not able to get enough with just us. She actually went first with some friends. We don't swing much, but we have a lot more sex with each other now than we ever did before.

[whatwewant 38]

I guess, me the male half, brought it up. Rather typical I suppose, though we had been discussing it on off for a number of years...

[wannabe70 15]

I (he) tried to bring it up. I approached the subject with extreme caution and in very general terms (not specific to us as a couple) with the intent of building up to us specifically. I was very careful to gauge her reaction.

 

Her reception of the topic was pretty cold so I backed off. She isn't jealous in our relationship, so I'm not sure what her aversion to the topic might be.

 

Unfortunate because there are some attractive swingers in our area. Not sure what to do now.

[shy kitty 15]

He brought it up when he kept saying how great it would be to bring a girl into the mix, my response was that if we were seriously going to do anything I would want a couple because I wanted to do more than just have my first experience with a girl.i also think its a little more fair that way im not like a third wheel and I like the idea of two men just as much as he likes the idea of two girls.we have only recently been researching, but im the nerd who always wants to know everything lol:)

[VikingGirl 15]

My husband brought it up first.

 

We recently had a daughter, and sex has just not been the same. Obviously it will take some time to bounce back BUT ... our sex life could also use some perking up after 13 years of marriage.

 

My husband first brought up watching other couples "live" because I really love watching amateur sex videos and he thought I may enjoy enacting on this fantasy live... neither of us had thought about it before, but once the thought was out in the open and we started researching, turns out this may be something that's for us. In addition to voyeurism, there are definitely other fantasies I can see being fulfilled.

 

We've both been raised with Christian (Lutheran for me and Catholic for him) backgrounds, so it's hard for us to shake the stigma & the "forsake all others", but we're getting there and getting ready to take the plunge.

[SheerBliss 92]

We talked about it in a strictly fantasy kind of way for some time. Then I went to a class reunion and did some making out with an old boyfriend. When I told my husband that there had been some kissing but nothing more he said "you should have gone for it!"

 

That started a long series of conversations about whether he would REALLY like it if I slept with another guy, or if he just THOUGHT he would like it. It was very frightening to take the first plunge because what if I did it and then my husband did not feel as good about it as he expected to? I couldn't un-fuck the guy!!

 

Fortunately my husband loved it and that started us on the road to ...wherever we are now.

[wildluvin77 15]

My wife brought up the idea. Later we had a FMF with a friend.

[CalhounCouple 15]

We started talking about it as a fantasy of ours before we were married, but I think conversations have gotten more mature and serious and hot the longer we've been together. It takes time to see all the pros / cons and to fully understand my spouses concerns and desires. At this point, I think I'm excited to try to "date" another couple, but the unknown emotions that might develop scare me. I don't want to hurt my wife emotionally through any of these actions, but I also don't want to build resentment in my mind if my wife ultimately decides not to proceed. That possible resentment is what most scares me.

[SnowDragon 48]

I went to Angels in Portland, Or when I was hanging out with an ex-friend because I wanted to explore swinging because I was tired of the traditional relationships. I meet my other half there at an orgy. This is my first swinging relationship I love the freedom and the trust that it relationship gives. I like sex. So we both came into swingers and this is his first swinging relationship as well.

[Psyche 37]

I brought it up to my husband after reading Erosophia A More Intimate Love of Wisdom blog's swinging posts.

 

I love this blog in general, but the swinging posts really got me thinking.

[arb333 15]

I actually brought it up to my husband, he was selling our house in Wyoming and we were living in Texas when I realized how hot it would be to see him w/ someone else, so I texted him and asked, needless to say he was all for it.... We are doing research though trying to find out the best way to go about it, also trying to find clubs close to us...

[kennyva82 15]

I brought the idea up to my wife. I've always been open to new adventures so I presented this idea to my wife. At first she wasn't too happy with the idea. However, she has since warmed up to it and now is willing to give it a go.

[sxyrn76 15]

Hi... I have no experience. I was married for most of my adult life and brought up believing in monogomy. After my divorce, I decided to just engage in causal dating and its been that way for the last three years.

 

Currently, I've been dating an experienced swinger. We've been dating for a while now and have gotten to know each other very well. So well, that he has recently expressed deep feelings for me. I must admit, I'm head over heels for him too. We would both like to be more then just friends but the whole swinger thing is whats keeping us from moving foward.

 

I'm here because I would like to learn more about the lifestyle. I have made some hard judgements about it without really knowing about it. I hope that I can get sound info here that will help me decide whether this is something that i'd like to be a part of.

 

I'd like to add that my "friend" is not and has never in any way pressured me into doing anything that I didnt want to do. In fact, he's been very accepting about my choice to not be involved or even hear stories about it from him.

 

My friend is an awesome man in all ways but this is something that has me all confussed. I need clarification.

 

I'm here to learn and I really do hope to get the info that I need in order to have some clarity.

 

Thank You So Much,

sxyrn76

[Pu11er 15]

My wife,of 2 years, and I were at a drive in movie that showed XXX movies and we were watching a MFM scene while she rode me reverse cowgirl.....Just as the screen got the hottest, she asks, "Who can we get for a threesome? Any ideas?" Needless to say, I had all kinds of "ideas"....but choosing a friend we both could agree on took longer that we thought....but we came up with the perfect male friend by accident. He was part of a swinging couple and we shared a wonderful weekend with THEM.

[Dont.Stop 339]

I just giggled when I saw this and asked Mrs. We don't know who brought it up first. We were so on the same page.

 

I guess technically I did. When I was with my ex we briefly talked about a threesome and my current wife's name came up. The conversation went nowhere. Sometime later I told Mrs (we were still only friends then) that her name came up. She said back "anytime you want to do a threesome, just call me".

 

That probably had some subconscious factor in my eventual decision to date and subsequently marry her.

[Rakesh_Tiku 15]

Are you here because you are researching and trying to work up the nerve to bring up the idea of swinging? Or have you alreaday brought it up and you are now both researching together? Which half of the couple (if a couple) are you and which one of you brought up the idea of swinging? If it hasn't been brought up yet, then share what you are hoping to discover.

 

I was coaching a few girls (21+) and I just couldn't resist the urge and touched one of them. We were all having fun, till my wife walked in and decided to join us. Life has not been the same since.

[desertplay91 15]

I think Mr. Desert brought it up first, but not directly. We were talking about fantasies and I shared my fantasy of being with another woman, and our fantasizing went from there. Eventually he found the website for a local club, and after even more talking (and a few drinks!) we went for the first time.

[sexie2some 15]

When my fiance and I met and were having the whole 'have you done this, would you try this' getting to know each other conversation, he brought it up. I must admit it was something I had thought about in the past but at the time he brought it up I wasn't quite ready to try it. He planted the seed though and it grew quickly. Turns out he was the right person and it was the right time to jump into the lifestyle. We've had nothing but fun since and have found that each experience brings us closer together and makes us appreciate each other even more.

[inhopeofspice 9]

I've read all the posts above and the "Answer Is", the lady brings up the subject far more often than does the man. Such was also the case with my lady, now my wife of 8 years whom has lived with me 17 years. BTW, the subject was first brought up at the time we met as we both then were trapped in dying marriages that left us wanting so much more.

[eroticlens 45]

Mrs. introduced the idea first. The rest is history!

[tdurden 15]

My wife and I have been swinging for a while. I came across this site via a google search and it seems like a fun place to hang out and meet like minded individuals.

[kellyandtopher 15]

Hubby was very much a straight arrow when I met him... I was already into the lifestyle... so I brought it up to him... he was all for it... I mean really what man wouldnt want a ffm experience... then swinging just came natural after that...

[mcouple40 15]

hubby brought it up,,, know the wife is running wild with it,, go figure?

[pinkbutterfly11 16]

Well it came down to this we love each other very much BUT neither of us could see having sex with the same person for the rest of our lives......don't get me wrong we have great sex together but after years and years we at one point had became very efficient at it and therefore it got a little boring. So she acctually brought it up because she was considering an affair with a guy she knew and felt guilty before it even happned so she approached me with the swinging idea and I went with it and it has honestly brought us closer together no secrets no running around all cards are on the table and it's great......

[MrsGrisham 15]

My wife wanted to have a girl-girl experience, so I brought up the idea of a FMF and she thought that was great. When we discovered how difficult it is to find a F for casual FMF, we just slipped into couple swapping...and the rest is history.

 

Same here in a way. We've talked about threesomes before but never fully acted on it. I told him how I always wanted to experiment but never had the nerve to do it because I'm a shy person.

We both fell for the same woman when my husband was going to college. Once we realized that and confessed we decided to sit and talk. He said he didn't want me to go through life wondering what it'd be like to be with other men or woman to were it might drive me to cheat (which it wouldn't, not for cheating).

So I decided and told him that I wanted to try it. We discussed threesomes first but we had a hard time finding woman and still are. Kept getting stood up, setting dates and having them change their mind the day or a day before.

Thats when we decided to try full swapping after reading up on it and all that. We wanted to make sure we were doing all this for the right reasons. Wanted to make sure it wasn't to "fix" a marriage or to please the other. Our marriage is great and our sex life is just as great. We just added this to spice it up.

We've been into it every since. We've still had a hard time finding woman. We haven't really been to any bars or clubs to look for a woman, besides a strip club we love to go to. So we are looking for couples with bi or bi-curious wifes, hoping thats easier to find that way we both get pleasure both ways.

Thats all about ours, hope you enjoyed reading

[barefootjason 16]

Are you here because you are researching and trying to work up the nerve to bring up the idea of swinging? Or have you alreaday brought it up and you are now both researching together? Which half of the couple (if a couple) are you and which one of you brought up the idea of swinging? If it hasn't been brought up yet, then share what you are hoping to discover.

 

My wife brought it up first. We have been having talks about fantasies and I shared some of mine with her-none of them involved other people joining us in bed-and she has always shyly brought up the topic of having a MFM threesome with a young stud. That turns me on like you would not believe.

 

OK, maybe you would believe it; after all you are here.

 

And lately, probably four or five times in the past 10 months or so, she has mentioned swinging. One time she brought it up because a swinging club had posted an advertisement on a telephone pole. A few nights ago she brought it up again in passing. The next night we had an absolutely amazing lovemaking session in our swimming pool. Amazing and wonderful.

 

As a slight joke to "test the waters further" I mentioned that I had booked us on a "Swingers Cruise" in August. Alas, while we are going on a cruise in August for real, a swingers cruise it is not. But she was delighted with the thought of a swingers cruise. Then with her amazing acerbic wit, she said "yeah our luck would be we'd get hooked up with a 95 year old couple."

 

My comeback to that was, hey maybe we will get hooked up with a 25 year old couple and they will be just as disappointed with the age spread (both of us are in our 50s).

 

Anyway, it has always been my wife that brings it up first. I am going to try to edge her into further talking about it as the week goes by.

 

I am hoping that the cruise will turn into a fantasy fulfillment voyage for both of us.

[Payal 16]

pls add us to yahoo mesenger our ID payal_mail

[MrandMrsBangs 15]

When my husband and I started dating, we talked about fantasies, and he said he wanted FIVE women at one time. I told him that would never happen, but we can try another woman.

 

It was my idea to try MFM first, then we tried FMF. THEN we tried a couple, one of our FMF partners and her husband - wasn't wonderful, so we tried another couple, who was HORRIBLE.

 

We want to try again. I think we'll be ready soon.

[Twist&Insomniac 15]

I broached the idea of swinging years ago, but at that point in our marriage, our sex life was pretty rocky and she wasn't going for it (she had some biological issues for a good many years). Within the last year, her sex drive skyrocketed and rivals my own. I mentioned the idea of swinging again and she didn't resist at all.

 

So, we have yet to get our feet wet, so to speak, but despite our enthusiasm we're determined to take our time and find a compatible couple, rather than find a quick hookup.

[athenscouple 15]

My wife and I talked about swinging for many years, though each of us never thought the other would go though with it. After meeting a couple on swinger lifestyle we met them, and before we knew it we were full blown swingers. We have been enjoying the lifestyle now for 7 months and it has been incredible. We look forward to many more encounters.

[mk3031 15]

I brought up the idea of swinging to my boyfriend...we are going to do some research and hope we can be successful at meeting another couple

[fancy 15]

I (F) brought up the idea of MMF. I cant stop thinking about it and its consuming me I want it so bad. I brought it up to my husband and his first response was "no way" but it was like I could see in his eyes he was maybe thinking about it.

in return I would FFM with him and let him live out his fantasies.

How do I bring it up again and make sure he knows, its not about some other dudes dick. its not about love its about pure animalistic sex. I love my husband more than anything and its not about cheating. its my fantasy.

[fancy 15]

how did he react at first??

[suburbanitemom 15]

Fancy - I also brought the idea to my hubby. He is still getting comfortable but we are on our way to entering the lifestyle (have a date with a s. male tomorrow.) It's kinda funny how he reacted at first...thought it was hot then not and back and forth. He has some fear of jealousy and insecurity that he won't be enough for me after the fact. No matter how many times I tell him there is no need to think that way he doesn't fully accepted it and continues to flip flop. He is going to give it a try with the understanding no play is expected and if play starts may stop at any time by any participant. I'm also working on finding a female/couple to fulfill his fantasies.

[RandT4Fun 15]

The female half brought it up first about two years ago offering to bring one of her female friends into our bed, but it didn't work out and it went to the wayside for a long time. She later played with a single female friend of hers while she was out of town but it wasn't a very good experience for her and turned her off a bit from the idea. After talking about it again recently we decided that we want to try a a lot more than mww, and thus we started looking again for couples and a potentially better single female choice and have had much better luck since

 

Our first experience was me watching her with the male half of a couple we met. Took quite a while for her to get comfortable she was pretty nervous at first, more because she still wasn't quite sure that I would be ok with her having sex with anyone else, even when we was inside of her lol... After that though the ice was completely broken, no more nerves.

[Sweetiepie 15]

My now husband brought up the idea when we were still dating and I didn't like the idea at first until it happened about a year after we got married

[WeHoos 41]

This is the male half.

 

I told my wife that I was a swinger the first week we started dating. She dumped me about 20 minutes after I told her.

 

I did not mind because I had only a few days invested into the relationship. About a week later she give me a call telling me that her ex-husband shamed her because she wanted to try being with another woman.

 

So that weekend I took her to a house party and we have never looked back. It has been 15 years now.

[TheBucketList 15]

I (the female half) brought it up. Admittedly I was extrememly nervous that he was going to think that I was unhappy with our sex life or that I was looking to replace him. I was floored when his reaction was more like getting told he just won the lottery! I've more or less been left in charge of searching out our first experience (his work schedule and the fact we are in different states makes coordinating things a nightmare). We're not in any hurry at this point - we realize that there is still quite a bit of negotiating that we need to have over our comfort levels. But to some degree I'm convinced that we aren't going to be able to cover everything and that we are going to need to get in a situation and then talk it out afterwards and learn that way.

[BigDandLola 15]

I did initially in a conversation asking him if he would ever do it or what he thought about it. Then one day we kept talking about it and we are hopefully on the way to a happy swinger lifestyle, but who knows it may just not be for us...in any case we are taking it slow. As much as we are eager, we realize that soo many things factor into this lifestyle. But we are sooo having fun exploring!!

[TheRedHalf 81]

This is the male half...

 

I brought up the topic slowly over a few months. I started reading and listening to many podcasts back in February and then booked us on a lifestyle cruise (With her knowledge) . We started discussing it together and I got her to listen to some of the podcasts. We attended our first event and now we're looking forward to another on New Year's. We haven't swapped yet but we're moving forward at a comfortable pace. For the fellow nerds out there it feels like starting a fusion reaction. I just have to give her enough energy and let her run with it.

[StewartP 171]

We had been married for 25 years and had only ever known each other as sexual partners.

Then Fiona visited her sister and friends in the UK for her birthday, as she does every year, when she came back she very nervously showed me some books she had bought on open relationships.

I was a bit shocked, but read them and ddiscussed it with her and we agread that poly was just too comlicated, but we both liked the idea of trying different lovers before we get too old. We both agreed we'd rather be sorry for things we had tried than have regrets for the things we had never dared.

She is much more liberated and free and than I am, she has no issues or hanups and just loves making love.

It's brought some heartache to me, but overall I'm pleased and don't regret antything. I have had the privilege of making love with some lovely and stunning women.

It gets easier and gets better all the time, we communicate well and we are learning about each other and other people constantly

[sweetcpl3021 15]

It was me(hubby),we were talking for yrs and finally she wanted to try. had few mfms and one swap. so so far having fun.

[Carpe Omnious 15]

I brought it up to my husband, we have never been with anyone else and the sex is very good , so I thought why not try spicing it up some more... We have talked alot about it, we have also both agreed that if one of us decides we dont want to do it then we wont and there wont be no pressure. So now the hard part finding the clubs.

[30snewenglandcp 15]

husband here wife and I had talked about it before we were married, 6 years ago, now getting back into it.

[freakyweds69 15]

The idea of swinging kind of came up in mutual conversation. I don't even remember who was the first to bring it up as it was years ago. I am the wife and had a couple of experiences on my own prior to marriage as well as one with my husband thus far. We are researching as a couple to learn more so that we go about things the right way - or at least the right way for us.