Profiles with false advertising

[ownerspet 506]

Ok let me lay some background on our weekend...me and the mrs. went to nashville last night to go tour favorite club and we had fun over all. Met this couple that seemed cool, they were nice, we danced, alot of grinding going on, chemistry seemed to be there, and then we decided to play, so we got a private room at the club. It was really hot watching the other Mrs going down on my wife and some heavy foreplay. Then the other Mrs had not gotten naked yet. Although I soon found myself in a situation finding out that she looked better with clothes on, and I lost the mood totally after that. However, I was polite, this couple finishes with each other anyway, so it just accelerated her going back to her husband. Me and the Mrs... just made out while they finished, and didn't make a seen. We had a fun night anyway, all things considered. I know what does this have to do with profiles.

 

Now if it wasn't bad enough that I was turned off, when we got home, me and the mrs. decided to just go look at the profile SLS and I started reading their profile. I get a couple of minutes into the profile, and my wife points out the weight that they had posted. Don't get me wrong we realize that many probably understate or underestimate by 10 lbs., but this couple had understated by 40-50 lbs on the female half and 20-30 lbs on male half. This just made the situation worse, because I thought I was being nice by not causing a scene. However, now I'm sitting here viewing these individuals as blatant liars.

 

Someone, Please tell me have you found yourself in a situation where you wanted someone to put their clothes back on, and what did you do? (keep in mind, I'm not the Ken doll, and that we really aren't that superficial)

 

Also, More Importantly: Please tell me what are your views on this obviously blatant False Advertising on profiles for swinging/dating sites?:eek:

[ncmd_couple 597]

No offense, but you had to wait for them to take their clothes off to know that their profile was not representative? Hell, we aren't perfect, but we don't lie about it. And if we meet in a club I assume that you will know the truth then. One way or the other. Then if you decide to play then we assume that you accept us as we are.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

No offense, but you had to wait for them to take their clothes off to know that their profile was not representative? Hell, we aren't perfect, but we don't lie about it. And if we meet in a club I assume that you will know the truth then. One way or the other. Then if you decide to play then we assume that you accept us as we are.

 

You might be a little confused since he actually hit two different issues with this thread.

 

We didn't see the profile until after we met them at the club. That was just an after issue (as far as them lying in their profile).

 

Beyond that there was the issue of she looked better with her clothes on. Yes, we both accepted them as they were and it was obvious that they weren't skinny folk (and neither are we), but clothes keep certain things in certain places and sometimes when you take off said clothes things aren't wha they seemed when the clothes were on.

 

Please don't turn this thread into something it's not, or take offense when none was given.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

I got the feeling that Pet was talking about two separate surprises with this woman.

 

First, she didn't look as good naked as she did with her clothes on. That is a surprise we can all come across, no matter what a person weighs.

 

Second, Pet was surprised and bothered that when he read their profile she obviously lied about her weight. Maybe this couple's profile didn't have pictures that clearly showed how this woman really looks and so they think they can get by with the lie.

 

I figure most people lie about their weight (we don't) but I have looked at many pictures and I know they are waaay off with the weight they list. False advertising is pretty prevalent I think. People will also fudge on their age by 5-10 years.

 

I don't think you can make people tell the truth about these things. It's something that you just need to be aware of when viewing ad sites.

 

Only once or twice have we been disappointed by what we saw once our playmates disrobed, but that didn't stop us from playing with them.

[socolais 696]

I find it difficult to make a stand on any single position here although I generally support honesty as the best policy. From what I've observed, I'd rather discover the intention behind the apparent misinformation in the profile (yeah, I know, by the time ya find out, it's too late). I know one couple that misrepresents their age to land in more searches - I think this one is OK because they look and act more like the age they report in their profile. Interestingly, another couple has an old photo from when they first made their profile and I think she looks way cuter now. So, while it may be rare, it goes both ways.

 

As for looking droopier than expected after the clothes are on the floor - I think that's the luck of the draw, some are likely look much hotter....

 

Glad y'all had a fun time

[cocpl2007 170]

Not all that long ago, I found myself in the dating world. I was quite amazed at the quantity of falsehoods in individual's profiles, probably the worst of which was "missing" their accurate age by more than a decade! Now, go figure...you are on the site because you want a serious relationship with a person of the opposite sex, perhaps even evolving into some form of commitment (formal or informal), and how do you go about representing yourself at the very start...with a falsehood! Just doesn't make much sense.

 

That is part of the problem, generally people believe they can "advertise" sufficiently (truthful or otherwise) to entice a couple to meet, then just overwhelm them with their magnanimous personality. Much the same as commercial advertising, whatever it takes to make the sale. It is a g r a n d turn-off for both of us, but like the locals say: "We're different up here!"

 

We're with you Pet.

[LFM2 1,482]

I have a vanilla friend who posts to singles boards. When she had me look at her profile, I noticed that she put "fit" into the body type drop down. Now, I'm not trying to sound condescending, because I love this woman to death, but her perception and everyone's else's perception of "fit" are two totally different things. She is a BBW (>250). She says she feels she's fit if she can walk a mile in 25 minutes and can lift 2 lb weights for that long. (not really a challenge, I know) Her perception is that she's "fit". The men she meets often call her on her fit status and tell her they feel she's lied to them and she feels she's told the truth. Who's right? Is it all about perception and how the other person sees themself?

 

All and out lying is not a good thing. There are people we've met who don't look anything like their profile picture or have gained a few pounds. I've never really gotten upset over the physical aspect of their profile. I get more upset when they lie about their marital status or what they're really looking for.

[Ed & Bunny 160]

Don't get me wrong we realize that many probably understate or underestimate by 10 lbs.,

 

Both Bunny and I think you may be a little low here. We always add an aditional 20 lbs to many profiles stated weights. Now before anyone start questioning us, we both have spent alot of time weighing people in our jobs. Most of the time when we do the weight the people are only wearing a hospital gown. We know what different weights look like. I personaly have suprised some women when I can guess really close to what their actual weight is.

 

The problem is, that women have been lying about their weight to men for so long that nobody really has a clue what real weights look like.

 

My take personaly though is I dont care what that number is. I care only what you look like. It doesnt matter whether the weight is 130 or 280 or somewhere in between. Its the overall look that is what attracts me. But I will say that seeing someone state a weight that is 40 or more pounds less than what they are is not something I like to see. If they are that dishonest about that, what else will they lie about?

[BiloxiCouple 695]

We have never used our real names.

[funcpl4life 51]

I for one put an "average" weight down. My weight varies substantially between finals (heavy) and spring running season (very light). Though I am rarely the weight that I use, it's about a yearly average. Also, the bigger you are, the less it matters. 10 lbs on a 5'2" 95lb woman is a big deal. On a 6'2" 240, guy it's less of a big deal. (I'm not being sexist here, I've just seen few women that size, though I'd be interested in seeing them naked.)

 

Smaller percentage error?

Anyway...

[sexcupid 809]

I agree with ncmd on this one...even if the weight listed was 30-50 lbs off, how did you not notice something amiss when you were chatting, dancing, etc?

 

I know that people wear clothes that flatter their figures, so maybe it wasn't immediately apparent. However, if you were up dancing, grinding and otherwise touching the other person...you can get a pretty good feel for what they are hiding under the clothes.

 

You did the right thing in not making a scene and you are entitled to feel like they are liars. You say you aren't that superficial, but apparently on some level you might be if this has you upset. I don't mean that in an ugly way...we are all superficial to a point, that's why we don't drop trou for just anyone...most swingers are kinda picky about who they play with.

 

You state the chemistry was there up until the time the other woman got completely undressed...unless it was like the 'corset story' someone else posted (Spoo? WS? Chicup? Sorry, I can't remember who) where when the laces were undone they whipped out of the loops so fast they could've put an eye out and instead of a stacked hottie you were left with a saggy mommy....THAT is false advertising. I mean, it happens that when the wrapping comes off the package is not what you expected.

 

Overall, glad you had a good time at the club. But there are plenty of 'false advertisements' on SLS...everything from weight, height, pictures, dick and breast size. On one hand, I don't know why you would bother lying...once you meet someone and play time rolls around, they are going to know you aren't 130 lbs with perky DDs or a 9" cock. On the other, I can see why folks do fudge it a bit to either turn up on more searches/matches and to have more potential contacts. If I am reading Julie's other post (Vegas Lee is right!) correctly, you met and played with these folks BEFORE reading their profile. If that is the case, technically they weren't falsely advertising to you...because you had already met them. I know, I know splitting hairs...but apparently there were some other red flags on their profile that had you read it first, y'all may not have played with them.

 

Maria

[TNT 1,155]

ownerspet said:

Also, More Importantly: Please tell me what are your views on this obviously blatant False Advertising on profiles for swinging/dating sites?

 

My views are, why do it? Once you meet someone in person and you've obviously lied on your profile/ad, especially if it is more than a "little white lie" about weight, the ones you are meeting are going to know you lied.

 

Teresa

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

sexcupid said:

I agree with ncmd on this one...even if the weight listed was 30-50 lbs off, how did you not notice something amiss when you were chatting, dancing, etc?

 

Once again. We DID NOT see the profile until after we met them.

 

When we met them their weights were pretty obvious (she's probably around 190-200) and he's probably about 210. The details of the weight were a little hidden by clothes and became more obvious once they came off. And to give the man (my husband) credit, I don't think he's ever been with a girl that big naked so he didn't know what she would look like when the clothes came off, and to give him more credit with a bra on her boobs looked alot more proportionate to her body than they did when the bra and everything else came off.

 

It was the next day after we got home when we looked up their profile that we saw that her weight was listed at 150 (which is what I weigh btw and what I have listed in my profile so WE KNOW what 150 looks like and since she's taller than me 150 on her should look a lot smaller NOT heavier).

 

One of my Pet's comments to me was that he expected the false advertising from singles and had encountered it many times as a single. However, he felt that as couples he would think that the couple would keep each other check about what they put in their profiles.

[Guest ibn battuta]

On issue #1: Kudos to you for being cool about it. I am sure we all have stretch marks, scars, cellulite, odd body hair etc that just isn't hot and is to be expected and overlooked. That being said, yes, it sucks when you have those shocking moments, that go way beyond normal everyday bodily flaws. I once dated a girl with inverted nipples... really freaked me out the first time I saw it, and there was obviously no way to know with her clothes on. Since I was a horny teenager and she was kind enough to let me see her naked breasts, I quickly got over it . Just a question for thought: would it be rude to suggest playing with some clothes on? Obviously this would involve playing with the couple a 2nd time,(which y'all ruled out, but hypothetically...) but if the couple would have been really cool except for boobs that look terrible out of a bra, would anyone be offended if they were asked to just leave the bra on, or wear lingerie?

 

On issue #2: Lying in your profile does seem silly, as someone will find out eventually, and you will most likely just be wasting everyone's time. Lying about your age, interests, experience, skills, or "size" all seem like really bad ideas, and the only profile area where I would accept some half-truths would be weight. In terms of weight on profiles, I guess I agree with Ed&Bunny on this one. Weight as a number matters a lot less to me then "how you carry it", your personality, and if we have chemistry. I have been turned on by women of probably every weight (within reason...), and I guess I expect a little fudging in this area, because I think everyone probably just rounds up/down on this one. I'll be honest, I am also guilty of this sin as my SLS weight is listed at 150, and this morning I weighed myself at the gym and found out I actually weigh 147.8... am I going to change it? No. Am I lazy? Yes. But I guess as long as I am close to my listed weight I don't think its that big of a deal.

Now obviously, there is a reasonable limit to this: If you list 150 and weigh 220, I would be pissed, not because you may not still be hot, but since this was obviously not just some error/lie of convenience or ignorance, but rather a bad way to start a relationship that demands a fair level of honesty and trust.

[tribbles 490]

We were surprised how much many not quite true ages and sizes we have found.

 

We don't even bother to believe what a profile says anymore and we don't always believe what people tell us in person either. As in, lots of 'married' folk are not. Or at least not to each other.

 

We enjoy whatever parts of encounters we can enjoy and let the rest go.

[good times 991]

...unless it was like the 'corset story' someone else posted (Spoo? WS? Chicup? Sorry, I can't remember who) where when the laces were undone they whipped out of the loops so fast they could've put an eye out and instead of a stacked hottie you were left with a saggy mommy....THAT is false advertising.

I believe the corset story came from me.

 

Yep Ownerspet, been their, done that, didn't even get a t-shirt. I have actually had this happen several times. And while I am a pretty observant fellow, and have seen enough naked women that I should be able to tell before the clothes come off what they will look like naked, in real life I can't. Some women are just real good at accentuating their positive assets and and minimizing the negative. Some may say it is shallow on my part, but if I don't find a woman physically attractive when the clothes come off, nothing is going to happen. It doesn't matter how much I liked the girl or how much she turned me on when she was clothed either.

 

As far as lying in ads goes, we see it all the time. We know one couple that uses pictures of them from the 70's, they don't look anything like their profile pictures any more. I don't understand that at all. Then again, our profile pictures are a couple of years old, something we have been meaning to update lately, but haven't found the time to do it. That being said we still look like our pictures except that Mrs. GT has changed her hair style a bit. As far as our weight goes we list ours as our average, our weight varies about 10 pounds throughout the year, but it is never more than a few pounds off what is listed in our ad, and as often as not our listed weight is higher then we actually are. My weight is currently 4 pounds higher than listed (I had to go look at the ad to see what it said). I never could figure out what someone would think they would gain by lying about their weight. In fact, it seems to me they would be setting themselves up for disappointment when people see the truth on meeting them and decide they aren't willing to go there.

 

The age thing is one we have actually run into more often, and I have to say, I have yet to see someone who underreported their age that didn't look closer to their real age than the one they put in their ad. And while I understand the search problem for older people, I still don't see that it really gains them anything in the end. At least for us, the couples we decide to hook up with is based mostly on physical attraction, so if someone looks older than our upper age limit, it doesn't matter what the ad says their age is.

[havefuninsun 122]

Having done the online dating thing as a vanilla, I learned pretty quickly people didn't always tell the truth. And like Rup said on one of the other threads, I was honest to a fault.

 

I think I have an average body. In online world, average means "fluffy" -- some of the guys I met were surprised at my size ... also, a lot of people fudge on the age because some people were so stringent about what age in their searches. Again, it never occurred to me to do that. For me, I got a kick out of the short guys saying they were taller than they are.

 

I found it peculiar that people would do this.

 

So am I surprised as to any of adult ads being "fluffed up" (or down) in some way? No. and, it really doesn't bother me. If we meet and there is chemistry, then game on. I don't care about any of the other stuff.

[sexcupid 809]

Once again. We DID NOT see the profile until after we met them.

 

Ok, that wasn't made particuarly clear in the OP...it was made clear in the other thread you started (which I referenced).

 

I guess my point is, why get upset about 'false advertising' when you didn't see their ad in the first place? I know in general it happens, either the age and especially the weight. I agree with Chicup, it's the 'in-between' range he gave that most folks fudge with the most. I mean, 150 sounds alot better than 160 or 170.

 

Particuarly for women, the closer to having a weight to 200 seems to be a social stigma. For better or worse, I have my weight listed on our profile (and it's accurate). Just like the aforementioned singles profile where the girl listed herself as 'fit' because that's what she felt like...there is a pretty big range (no pun intended) of what a person considers a BBW. So if I just listed that in our profile, but opted not to put my weight on there...someone might think I weigh much less than I do...while I'm not out and out lying (because I did mention BBW), I am being less than truthful by omitting a number that they could wrap their minds around.

 

Maria

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

ibn battuta said:

would it be rude to suggest playing with some clothes on? Obviously this would involve playing with the couple a 2nd time,(which y'all ruled out, but hypothetically...) but if the couple would have been really cool except for boobs that look terrible out of a bra, would anyone be offended if they were asked to just leave the bra on, or wear lingerie?

 

That was a question we had discussed amongst ourselves as well, and it's easy if you can catch them before they are taking it off or even as they are taking it off and say "oh leave that on it's really sexy". But once the clothes are all the way off it's really hard to justify saying "here put this back on". LOL

 

tribbles said:

We don't even bother to believe what a profile says anymore and we don't always believe what people tell us in person either. As in, lots of 'married' folk are not. Or at least not to each other.

 

I've run into this one more than once as well. There's another couple at the club that we tend to avoid because of that very thing. Sad thing is if they hadn't told us we wouldn't know and we wouldn't have a problem with them. They are a nice attractive couple and who knows what may have happened between us by now if they hadn't told us the first time we met them that they were married to other people and his wife currently thought he was in FL.

[prettylady 221]

I go with my average weight. My competition weight is really light and my off season weight is about 10-15 lbs heavier. I split the difference.

But to have a difference of several lbs or several years is not cool in my book. I am not difficult about size issues or age issues either. But I would like the people I am meeting to be at least a close facsimile of what they said they are. Besides an out right lie tells me something about the kind of person you are. What else are you willing to lie about that could have long term effects for me or Dog. I know that last statement is a bit dramatic, but there are strange people out there.

[ownerspet 506]

My take personaly though is I dont care what that number is. I care only what you look like. It doesnt matter whether the weight is 130 or 280 or somewhere in between. Its the overall look that is what attracts me. But I will say that seeing someone state a weight that is 40 or more pounds less than what they are is not something I like to see. If they are that dishonest about that, what else will they lie about?

 

Thank you for clarifying my point of view, because we look at people on how they look regardless of their weight. If we think they are sexy great. It doesn't matter if they are 120lb, 150lbs, or 200lbs. As long as they are evenly proportioned, and we think they are sexy, I'm obviously still attracted when the clothes come off.

 

In this case it, it was definitly the clothes holding things in places they didn't naturally stay, obviously. Then, the statement of an obvious lie about their weight just left me with a bad taste in my mouth. I'm not bitter about it, I was just looking for other people with similar experiences.

 

Thank you for everyones input.

[Greg & Sheryl 368]

If you have pimples on your butt, photoshop them out.

If you use Photoshop to alter your appearance in your profile pics, would that count as false advertising?

[good times 991]

If you use Photoshop to alter your appearance in your profile pics, would that count as false advertising?

I think that kind of depends on what you are photoshoping out. If you have a pimple on your ass that isn't normally there then I don't see the problem and think it would be fine. On the other hand if you use it to make yourself look different than you are then, yes, that would be false advertising.

 

Most of the modifying we do to our pictures are just to do things such as make the background unidentifiable, or make the picture more realistic (color balance, tone etc.). But in the unlikely event I decided to include ass pictures in our profile, and their was a big zit on said ass, I wouldn't have any problem editing out the zit.

[sweet_tna 680]

OP, I have to give you credit for keeping your cool. I can see how someone might look different than you expected once the clothes came off. And you saw something that just didn't do it for you. While I'd have found that disappointing, I don't *think* I'd have been that upset.

 

That said, I'd probably have done what you did and looked up their profile when we got home, just out of sheer curiosity. And yeah, I'd have been pretty perturbed to find they lied about their weight/age/whatever. It's bad enough if you set up a date with a couple based on their profile and find out they lied, but I can see how finding out the lies after your experience only upset you more.

 

I'm persnickety about keeping and my honey's and my weights current in our profile, in part because we're both working hard to lose it. The other part is, of course, that whole "honesty is the best policy" thing.

 

Sorry ya'll had that experience, and hopefully next time you'll have a PLEASANT surprise.

 

=)

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

If you use Photoshop to alter your appearance in your profile pics, would that count as false advertising?

 

I'd have to say it depends on what they are photoshopping. I know a lot about photoshop and I could do a lot with it. Granted we all want to present our best side online (it's all about marketing after all) and it would be easy to photoshop away 20lbs... that would be the same as lying about your weight IMO.

[Tia Vampire 167]

We hate profiles w/ false advertisments too. We have met couples that have been very over weight, we will atleast take the time to get to know them, but not play. I'm not a size 8 like my SO would like for me to be. That is what I was when we first met, but I think I get by pretty well being a size 10.

[Ed & Bunny 160]

Thank you for clarifying my point of view, because we look at people on how they look regardless of their weight. If we think they are sexy great. It doesn't matter if they are 120lb, 150lbs, or 200lbs. As long as they are evenly proportioned, and we think they are sexy, I'm obviously still attracted when the clothes come off.

 

In this case it, it was definitly the clothes holding things in places they didn't naturally stay, obviously. Then, the statement of an obvious lie about their weight just left me with a bad taste in my mouth. I'm not bitter about it, I was just looking for other people with similar experiences.

 

Thank you for everyones input.

 

With our opinion that many people don't know how to judge true weights, we decided to put a picuture of Bunny on our profile in just a simple bra and underware. This way those considering us see exactly what your gonna get. Just giving them her weight is not the best thing, most people thinks she weighs less than what she actually does. How a person carries their weight has a lot to do with appearance. An extra 20 or 30 pounds distributed all over the body, can be wonderful, but that same weight just tucked in one zone, can be a turnoff for some. Though Bunny is a large woman, her weight is basically evenly distributed, and due to her breast size is smaller than a DD, she is not considered a BBW. She's just the way she is and turns into a sexy goddess of love....in bed...

 

So the simple solution, bikini or bra and underwear shots, that way nothing is hidden, what you see is what you get..

[Pepper & Drew 384]

Greg & Sheryl said:

This statement stood out to us while we were browsing through the "profile pics that turn you off" thread, and we thought it was relevant to this thread. If you use Photoshop to alter your appearance in your profile pics, would that count as false advertising?

 

Notice I didn't say photoshop 20 pounds off of your ass....

 

I think it's safe to say that you're free to crop, erase or airbrush things that are not going to alter your overall appearance, ie pimples, that pesky red-eye thing or something similar. I'm not a purist. But changing things that are going to drastically alter your appearance for potential playmates is a .

 

We've also had issues where we wish someone had kept their clothes on once they took them off. That's the most awkward situation ever.

 

Pepper

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Pepper & Drew said:

We've also had issues where we wish someone had kept their clothes on once they took them off. That's the most awkward situation ever.

 

so what did you do in that situation?

[Pepper & Drew 384]

JustAskJulie said:

so what did you do in that situation?

Well, we played as much as we could... And got in the car and said . I don't know how we could have seen that coming. You expect a certain amount of skin elasticity and muscle tone for people of a certain age. It ain't always the case. Ladies, if you're looking to lose weight, do not starve yourself. You may be thin, but it ain't pretty. Your body will burn your muscle and you're left with skin and mush.

 

Sorry, done with the public service announcement. In any event, we played a while, said it was late, and went home. It bit.

 

Pepper

[Trace Ekies 186]

For me, I worry that the other Mrs. is going to be concerned with my looks when naked. I feel that I look heavier when I'm naked due to the way I carry myself when I'm clothed.

 

As far as truth in advertising goes, every detail in our various profiles is true. We find it difficult to start a relationship of any kind with lies as the foundation.

 

I do understand someone wanting to "shade" the truth in their favor but I don't understand actually doing it. In the end, everyone is going to know so why not just be up-front about it?

 

I consider putting a sock in your pants, especially if you're a woman, to be false advertising. A woman wearing control top panty hose and a push-up or shelf bra or a man (Trace) wearing a loose fitting silk shirt to "flatten" his 43 year old stomach a bit would not be false advertising. Making yourself feel better in your clothes is one thing but lying about your weight, age or anything else by 15 or 20 or 30% is wrong.

 

In the end, we don't "shade". We realize some do and that's okay with us, just don't think we're stupid enough to buy your BS when you blatantly lie to us about any detail describing yourselves.

[Tybee Swing 286]

Met this couple that seemed cool, they were nice, we danced, alot of grinding going on, chemistry seemed to be there, and then we decided to play, so we got a private room at the club. It was really hot watching the other Mrs going down on my wife and some heavy foreplay. Then the other Mrs had not gotten naked yet. Although I soon found myself in a situation finding out that she looked better with clothes on, and I lost the mood totally after that.

 

I'm WAY more interested in what happened here, than in what people put in profiles. This was during a real face-to-face enounter before you read a profile, so I'd much rather learn more about this!

 

During all of the talking and dancing, were you turned-on by her? What was she wearing, specifically? Did she look good to you?

 

After the clothes came off, what was it specifically that turned you off so much? Please be honest, I'm sure that a lot of us would really like to know.

 

It sounds as if you lost your erection over this issue, and there was nothing that could have brought it back, your reaction to her without clothes was so strong. In hindsight, was there anything about her you could have noticed before you went into the private room that might have prevented this?

 

Now if it wasn't bad enough that I was turned off, when we got home, me and the mrs. decided to just go look at the profile SLS and I started reading their profile.

...this couple had understated by 40-50 lbs on the female half and 20-30 lbs on male half. This just made the situation worse, because I thought I was being nice by not causing a scene.

 

You sound kind of angry and frustrated that this happened. Personally, I don't think that their profile has anything to do with it, because you saw it after everything was over and done with. Under the circumstances, I believe that you owed it to them to be nice and not cause a scene. You danced, talked and flirted with her as-is (what you see is what you get), liked her enough to want to have sex with her, but then changed your mind after you saw her naked. That's not really her "fault", is it? People just go out to the clubs wearing what they're comfortable in, looking for people who are interested in them. Unless she forced herself into a corset that made her appear to be 4 sizes smaller than she really is (or some other "deception" like that), there was probably nothing she could have done differently in this situation.

 

I'm sorry this happened to you, and I know you weren't comfortable at all when this happened, but can you really blame her at all, under the circumstances? You seemed interested enough at the time. I think it's just a huge learning experience, and you can look back now, reassess your initial attraction, and hopefully avoid this happening again.

 

If it was hard on you and embarrassing for you, imagine being on the other side. Imagine how it would feel to get naked for a man only to realize that your body is a huge turn-off (after you thought he was attracted to you). Ouch, huh?

[Tybee Swing 286]

Well, we played as much as we could... And got in the car and said . I don't know how we could have seen that coming. You expect a certain amount of skin elasticity and muscle tone for people of a certain age. It ain't always the case. Ladies, if you're looking to lose weight, do not starve yourself. You may be thin, but it ain't pretty. Your body will burn your muscle and you're left with skin and mush.

 

Pepper, I love it when people are honest here and not just tip-toeing around!

 

One of the trickiest things about "expecting a certain amount of skin elasticity and muscle tone for people of a certain age", is what pregnancy does to a lot of women, regardless of their age. Nursing, too. Sometimes, no matter what kind of healthy lifestyle they follow afterward, the stretched-out stuff just won't bounce back. The variables include things like how big they got while they were pregnant, genetic differences with skin elasticity, etc.

 

Some people lose a bunch of weight and have the same thing happen. Even if they lost the weight healthfully and kept their muscle tone, many will still end up with all that leftover stretched-out skin/"mush". It just happens, especially if they lost quite a few sizes.

 

I doubt that anybody can predict this sort of thing before the getting-naked stage, if the people look great in their clothes. I guess all anybody can do if they find themselves in this situation is to make the best of it and move on, like you did.

[NealnAnji 30]

Ownerspet:

 

Since you found the couple attractive enough to play with, the profile, after the fact, is immaterial. All the same, they should not have grossly understated the weight. We dare say, however, that most women 9and men) do look better when fully and properly clothed, particularly if they are overweight. Perfect bodies are few and far in between. What really matters is whether or not he woman or the man is attractive enough to play with, and, to copulate with for the act of intercourse. It is perfectly all right to walk away if one finds the man or woman so repulsive as to preclude the act of sexual intercourse.

[ownerspet 506]

Tybee Swing said:

It sounds as if you lost your erection over this issue, and there was nothing that could have brought it back, your reaction to her without clothes was so strong.

You are absolutely right, and it was more of an issue of the fact that her body looked significantly different naked than it did with clothes on. And it was probably a lack of judgement from my end, and it wasn't her fault.

 

 

Tybee Swing said:

You sound kind of angry and frustrated that this happened. Personally, I don't think that their profile has anything to do with it, because you saw it after everything was over and done with. Under the circumstances, I believe that you owed it to them to be nice and not cause a scene.

 

I would say that it was more of a shock factor, than anger, because I'm a typical man with typical hormones, for me to just loose an erection is not typical. So I would have to say I was more in shock initially over the experience. To respond to what she was wearing: It was odd when the clothes began to come off, she was wearing a girdle and a push up bra underneath her thong and baby doll. So that was a little more odd. I didn't cause a scene when the erection went bye bye, and overall I was able to handle it very well.

 

However, I agree that the profile issue didn't impact the night of play, because it was the next day. It was probably something I should've posted in a totally separate post, because it is really a separate issue all together.

 

Related to the profile issue: Looking at it really didn't help my opinion at the time. After all do you want to hang out or play with someone that may not be upfront when they act like they have something to hide (anywhere, online, in person, etc...)? Maybe it's just an ethics hang up with me.

 

 

Tybee Swing said:

I'm sorry this happened to you, and I know you weren't comfortable at all when this happened, but can you really blame her at all, under the circumstances?

 

For the situation in play, you're absolutely right about not blaming her at all. I had a bad error in judgement there is no denying that. However, related to the headline of this thread, I blame both her and her SO. I just don't understand, why do people have to over enhance themselves, when in the end everyone is going to know you for exactly what makes you who you are.

 

 

Tybee Swing said:

I think it's just a huge learning experience, and you can look back now, reassess your initial attraction, and hopefully avoid this happening again.

 

You are absolutely right, and thank you for pointing this out, because I have discussed it with the Mrs. I've been able to proverbially take a step back, and learn from the experience, rather than go away maintaining a bitter taste. Currently, I'm slightly more discretionary, when checking people out in the clubs. That's not to say that I'm looking for a model, but I may be more detailed in looking them over and checking them out. Because while I'm attracted to a sexy aggressive attitude out of a woman, but it takes more than that to keep me turned on. Overall though, just like some can't help the way they look, sometimes I can't help the way my penis reacts.

[sexcupid 809]

It was odd when the clothes began to come off, she was wearing a girdle and a push up bra underneath her thong and baby doll.

 

I'll agree with the oddness of the girdle (under a thong?!)...however, I prefer to wear a push up bra pretty much all the time. I like the way it makes the girls look and I like the way it helps show them off in some of the lower cut stuff I wear.

 

I'm a DD now...but even when I was a B cup, I still preferred the push up because they just aren't/weren't perky enough to pull of the sexy wear or lingerie.

 

I agree with you that the being ticked off about the profile should have probably been posted as a separate issue (since you didn't see it until after the fact)...but the concerns you posted about not finding someone as attractive once the clothes come off, are entirely valid as well...I replied earlier in this thread and felt that a lot of emphasis was placed on 'if I would have read the profile first...etc' but the fact is that wasn't the case and it is embarassing and frustrating that things don't work when then normally have no problems functioning. Glad that you are trying to view the situation in a more positive light.

[Strip n Maul! 25]

I don't like lying on profiles...but hey, it's the internet...it's gonna happen. But if you do ENGAGE, then "In for a Penny in for a Pound!"......do NOT whine afterwards.....I'll pull the plug FAST, if I don't think the "scene" works. My wife is 19 years younger than Moi....and I deal with this stuff ALL the time. You are the MAN...control your scene...and do NOT "whine" afterwards. RESPECT...if you engage it's your "show"...perform well and LIVE w/your choice Bro!...nuff said...

[Tybee Swing 286]

To respond to what she was wearing: It was odd when the clothes began to come off, she was wearing a girdle and a push up bra underneath her thong and baby doll. So that was a little more odd.

 

Whoa! Okay, this changes things. In my earlier post, I said that she is what she is and couldn't help it, unless she was forcing herself into a corset or something "deceptive" like that. I think this applies to your situation. It sounds like the thong & baby doll were a lingerie/nightie set? Nobody would ever expect a girdle to be worn under that, and not even a push-up bra under that. I've never heard of anybody doing this, and it kind of floors me. In a swinging setting, I'd be surprised by someone wearing a girdle under regular clothes, but really shocked to find that under lingerie.

 

Has anybody else ever experienced someone in swinging wearing a girdle under lingerie??

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Tybee Swing said:

Whoa! Okay, this changes things. In my earlier post, I said that she is what she is and couldn't help it, unless she was forcing herself into a corset or something "deceptive" like that. I think this applies to your situation. It sounds like the thong & baby doll were a lingerie/nightie set? Nobody would ever expect a girdle to be worn under that, and not even a push-up bra under that. I've never heard of anybody doing this, and it kind of floors me. In a swinging setting, I'd be surprised by someone wearing a girdle under regular clothes, but really shocked to find that under lingerie.

 

I thought it was rather odd. I didn't notice it until she was putting her clothes back on... well I noticed the bra.. but I kind of understood that as depending on the nightie sometimes things just don't hang where you want them to. It's taken me a while to get where I don't care and will go braless myself. But the girdle... I noticed when we were getting dressed after playing I looked over and saw her putting on "panties" then her thong and I was like "WTF, two pairs of panties?" And I basically said that, followed by a "what's up with that?". Since I wasn't paying a whole lot of attention to her after her clothes came off, I really didn't see what was what or notice anything "off" until that point and it was later on after we "reset" that Pet filled me in on what had happened.

 

He handled the whole situation very well, IMO, and did what he could to make sure that she felt good rather than looking like he just wasn't interested. It has been a learning experience for both of us and it's definitely changed how we look at potential playmates at the club.