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The body beautiful? Tired of seeing "HWP" in ads

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Dan/ala Canadian Couple,

 

Half the fun is reading one's post way too fast, reading into it without really paying attention, then creating ten different interpretations, then debating them all! lol. I am ALWAYS guilty of it, but hey, IT"S FUN! hehe....

 

If a persons different race was an impediment, I agree that tact is crucial. I would prefer to eat a buzzard then to put myself in a position to exclude someone based upon race. It is like kicking out the cane from under a blind man, or hitting a puppy. Some things a decent person just does not do.As to the weight issue, if I were to run an ad, i would say in shape healthy people desired, rather than no fat chicks, which is crass.

 

In swing clubs, if a women or couple has approached me that I don't wish to be with, my tactic is to say that I just got finished and am recuperating and smile warmly. I try to preempt that by having eye contacts and warm smiles to people who interest me, you know, a tad bit of flirtation.

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TheSexMonsters Wrote:

 

For us, it's not that we automatically exclude anyone that is of a certain weight, ethnicity, etc.

 

Automatically excluding someone on the basis of weight (or any other physical characteristic, for that matter), is really more a limitation using ads to meet people than anything else. If you meet someone in a night club, you know with just a quick look over whether or not you find them attractive, and it doesn't make any difference what their exact weight is. In an ad (especially one on the internet) you're contacting a much larger group of people (which is a good thing) whose attractiveness you can't asess quickly (which is a bad thing). Unless you have to time for a face-to-face with everyone who responds, you need to have some method for winnowing out the flock a bit, and weight as a rough measure of physical attractivness is probably about as good a measure as any. It's certainly not perfect (no such criteria is), but I don't think that you need feel bad about automatically excluding someone on that basis - any more than an employer need feel bad about specifying a minimumm of 10 years experience in an ad for a job, and then not interviewing anyone who doesn't have at least that much.

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I think as long as you are upfront about your appearance - you shouldn't have problems with people being rude to you. However, it is probably true that a fit couple is more likely to look for another couple that is fit as well.

 

There are site and parties for BBWs that many couples enjoy. Look them up!

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Originally posted by BayCouples.com

I think as long as you are upfront about your appearance - you shouldn't have problems with people being rude to you.

 

Likely not, however many of the ads are themselves written in a very crass way. Some examples have been listed earlier in this thread.

 

However, it is probably true that a fit couple is more likely to look for another couple that is fit as well.

 

Our point exactly. The question is WHY??

 

There are site and parties for BBWs that many couples enjoy. Look them up!

 

We have. Unfortunately, none pertain to our area. We'd have no qualms at all with only swinging with overweight, BB couples only for the rest of our sexual lives, but the limitations stated in the majority of ads severely curtail our potential partners right across the board.

 

Yet another nugget seen in a Swappernet ad this evening.

 

"No overweight people who don't own mirrors."

 

Now, were those last four words really necessary? You tell me.

 

Dan

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One last thought before turning in (wife's long since there) -

 

I think we'd all agree swinging is one of those sub-cultures in our society that defines a specific interest group. Agreed? And one of the main objectives of these groups, aside from finding hopefully like-minded people, is to expand that base as much as possible. To get the message out to interested people who may not otherwise be aware there are others out there with the same desires and fantasies.

 

By continuing to propagate the notion that swinging is only for the young and beautiful, how many interested people who don't fit into that catagory are discouraged from ever taking the plunge by reading ad after ad that specifically says they're not wanted?

 

Just a thought.

 

Dan

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Dan,

 

I am curious, are you basing your opinion on the ads you are seeing off of one site in general or several? Also, are you just looking at ads for your local area?

 

While I agree with your overall views, I am just wondering if it isn't something geographical, as well as a mindset. You know kind of like if you live in *Hollywood* let's say, and if you aren't one of the *beautiful* people then you aren't given a second glance.

 

Hope that made sense.

 

Lori

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Personally, I find it easier to screen if people put what they don't want right up front. Lots of people eliminate us based on age alone. But thats ok, at least we don't have to go through the trouble of e-mails that lead nowhere.

 

Also, don't forget about the overwhelmingly huge number of pic seekers online. I'd bet that a great majority of them place adds that would imply no overweight or older people. And there are tons of them. John.

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Guest everlast
Quote
Originally posted by michigancouple

Also, don't forget about the overwhelmingly huge number of pic seekers online. I'd bet that a great majority of them place adds that would imply no overweight or older people. And there are tons of them. John.

 

What's up with those people anyway? Are there not enough porn sites on the net for them? That's one thing I guess I haven't figured out yet :confused:

 

Well, that and just about everything else :D

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Quote
Originally posted by OhioCouple

Dan,

 

I am curious, are you basing your opinion on the ads you are seeing off of one site in general or several? Also, are you just looking at ads for your local area?

 

While I agree with your overall views, I am just wondering if it isn't something geographical, as well as a mindset. You know kind of like if you live in *Hollywood* let's say, and if you aren't one of the *beautiful* people then you aren't given a second glance.

 

Hope that made sense.

 

Actually, I've noticed the cliqish tone in ads on just about every swinging site out there we've been in, but the examples I've used in this thread have all come from Swappernet. Perhaps it's just me, but Swappernet seems particularly bad for this sort of thing, possibly because each ad specifically asks what type of people you do and don't want to meet. Usually that's where you'll see the "no overweight need apply" comments. It doesn't seem to be geographical, choose any state and it's the same thing.

 

Unfortunately with this crowd, if you aren't one of the "beautiful people", you aren't even given a first chance.

 

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While this has been discussed many times I find it will always bring more in-depth answers every time according to how the first statement is worded and how the conversation goes. Many times I am contacted by someone only to be asked right away for my pic .I will not do this, instead I suggest we chat and get to know each other a bit. If the pic question is immediately re-asked, I block these people and do not bother to go on with them. I want to get some info before I even care what a person looks like. If I can't know what makes you tick in this lifestyle I am not going to touch you in a million years.

 

Second if you can't make me laugh you are not going to be having a long conversation either. I am a very mental person (in more ways then one) and if you are lacking in the head dept then it is a no-go so don't even bother asking for the pic. I have had pics stolen and sent to friends (can you believe it?) with the person stating they were of his wife! LOL..good thing my taste in lingerie is so distinct. The ruse was spotted immediately and we no longer show pics as freely unless we have determined the couple is a serious contender and many times we go on cam so we don't have to worry about pics and such and then they can make their decision from that.

 

However, many times if I have made up my mind to meet them the only thing that stops it is finding out that we were lied to. HWP means nothing to me as I have met some HWP people and almost laughed my but off as their idea of HWP is nowhere near anyone else's! I find that attitude rude and if anything it limits the people responding because as a SO to a photographer you will find some of the most attractive fit people do not consider themselves HWP the way they think it is supposed to mean so where does that land the HWP people? I don't know.

 

An

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Actually, anyone can take a screenshot from a web cam image and get your picture that way, so you're not really protected that way. Of course, the quality of many of those images are going to be fairly crappy anyway...

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Yes I know that..however a web catch from a cam as opposed to pro shots is a huge difference to us...LOL so we did not appreciate the theft.

 

An

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