Bisexuality in Swinging

[ken -N- lea 15]

After reading all the posts on this thread my jaw is on the floor. I always thought that swinging WAS all about sharing and accepting others IDEAS without judgment of them. Personally I have never been interested in a bi experience but I can see that for others its OK. If someone approaches me and asks me if I want to have one (bi experance) I tell them no, if they insist or badger me then I will walk away as in turn the other cheek. You can always ignore someone or walk away if you don't like them or what they say.

 

So let's all take a breath and look at how we want to be treated and and treat others the same way.

[TNT 1,155]

GOOD GRIEF CHARLIE BROWN !

 

Can we all agree that it is not only okay to be different but thank God that we all are different?

 

There is NOTHING WRONG with being "bi" or being "straight". No one should ever try to convert anyone to their way of thinking. It would be just down right boring if we all thought and felt alike.

 

If you meet someone who has different sexual preferences than you do, and it is something that you are not interested in trying and/or necessarily turns you off...just say "Cool, it's not my thing, but I hope your happy and enjoying it".

 

Just remember...everyone is not going to think and feel like you do and you are not going to think and feel like everyone else, but we can all respect each others views and bouderies.

 

Teresa

[BiFriend 15]

The whole point of swinging *IS* to be "converted!" The whole point of swinging *is* to venture beyonds society's narrow constraints of sexuality and sexual expression. The whole point of swinging is for couples (male *and* female) to have sexual experiences with other males and females. The last time I attended a swing party it was, of course, couples-only and gender balanced, but there were loads of naked men there. Indeed, half the population was MALE! Hot, sweaty, perspiring, muscular naked men!!! I even saw two guys embrace each other in a hug (I don't know for sure but I think they were good friends). So, is this nauseating?? No, of course not! Is this "bisexual"? Sure! That is if you look at the experience you are having as already including equal parts male and female. I have not done a lot of swinging but what I have experienced is that people end up kind of blending, that there are bodies all over the place, and that you can't help but rub up against some hairy sweaty guy just as easily as you rub bodies with a beautiful blode babe! It's simply part of the scene. One cannot help it. And it's sad to think how some people still feel ashamed of their bodies, even after sharing sexual experience with others. It's sad to realize that other men, my fellow male brothers, are among these individuals who are still ashamed.

 

Good luck.

 

-- P.T.

[Stratecpl 19]

Originally posted by BiFriend:

The whole point of swinging *IS* to be "converted!"

 

 

To borrow a word from Dan... Wrongo!

[CanadianCouple 18]

Originally posted by BiFriend:

The whole point of swinging *IS* to be "converted!"

 

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I rest my case.

[Chicup 38]

Originally posted by BiFriend:

And it's sad to think how some people still feel ashamed of their bodies, even after sharing sexual experience with others. It's sad to realize that other men, my fellow male brothers, are among these individuals who are still ashamed.

 

Good luck.

 

-- P.T.

 

if you replace 'ashamed' with nauseating I think you have it. I view having gay (male) sex with about as much desire as eating my own shit. It is not shame, it is some basic genetic/hormonal trait.

[JustAskJulie 2,589]

Originally posted by Chicup:

if you replace 'ashamed' with nauseating I think you have it. I view having gay (male) sex with about as much desire as eating my own shit. It is not shame, it is some basic genetic/hormonal trait.

 

 

Funny, I mentioned this thread to my hubby last night and we were talking about it. He is as straight as they come with no desire to try otherwise. For that matter he doesn't even care to see me with other girls. Now having two girls on him at the same time, yes.. but to just watch 2 girls... no.

 

We equating all these who try to convert straight people to being bi to this:

 

I have no desire to be peed on, some people do. Are you going to tell me that because I swing I have to be open to being peed on?

 

It's the same thing. Swinging is about whatever the person who swings wants it to be about. It is about exploring THEIR fantasies (not them exploring yours). If their fantasy is to be with people of the same sex, so be it.. if their fantasy is to be peed on.. so be it. But if that's not my fantasy then that is not what swinging is about to me.

[CanadianCouple 18]

Originally posted by JustAskJulie:

Swinging is about whatever the person who swings wants it to be about. It is about exploring THEIR fantasies (not them exploring yours). If their fantasy is to be with people of the same sex, so be it.. if their fantasy is to be peed on.. so be it. But if that's not my fantasy then that is not what swinging is about to me.

 

I do believe that's what Stratecpl and I have been saying in this thread since October 4th.

[BiFriend 15]

Gentlemen, Counsel, Esquire, Judge, and Jury... :-)

 

Ease up! Please, please, please don't feel like you're eating your own shit! No one wants you to eat your own shit! I personally haven't tried it, but I doubt it tastes all that good.

 

My experience of actual SEX (both in and out of swinging) has been really quite friendly, joyous, helpful, relaxing, uplifting, educating, enlightening, fun, silly, giggley, sometimes scary and frightening, usually surprising. All this was way, way beyond what I expected out of the experience, out of life. This "beyond expectation" aspect required me to see what I was actually getting out of the experience, what I was actually experiencing, and what I was unwilling to experience. This required me, nay DEMANDED me, to drop my own biases, prejudices, uptightness, fear, shame, guilt, what have you.... I am personally very grateful, EXTREMELY grateful, especially to some people (women actually) who helped me immensely.

 

I know the fear some people experience because I've been thru it myself... Does this mean I want to "convert" them? Heavens no! It means I can relate, that's all...

 

I genuinely hope you guys have a wonderful time in swinging. If your experience is anything like mine, you will discover that you can and will look around someday and see people, just people, beautiful, splendid, wonderful, sexy, erotic, PEOPLE. And that's when it's hits you: "I'm pretty wonderful, sexy and erotic in my own rite, and I feel really great, and I'm OK afterall, and I don't need to be so hard on myself all the time, and I can give myself and others a break, a big break."

 

Take care,

 

-- P.T.

[MattMann 17]

I think men are very reluctant to agree to having anything to do with another man's penis even if we may be curious. We go our whole lives trying NOT to look at the cock next to us in the shower, urinal, next tree over, etc. just to prove we are real men and NOT gay! Men need to protect that image because not only do we seek the respect of other men but also that of women and if we think they would deem it less than manly for us to want to explore, then we will definitely go without exploring that part or our sexuality. Women don't have to worry about such rigid standards of their sexual identity (they can wear dresses, or jeans makeup or not, short hair or long, can be nurses or doctors stay at home or go out and work a paying job all with no worry of stigma that they are not feminine, a man cannot make any of these choices without worrying that he will be seen as less than a man.)

 

I have these same hangups and try never to even brush up against another man when in close proximity while having group sex. But I just wish men had the OPTION to try the same things as women if we were so inclined, seems like it would only be fair.

 

In the end, I ask this question though, men have their hands all over their own penis a lot for pleasure, if it were possible to suck your OWN would you do it?

[Flori_DAMAN 25]

Homophobe....homophobic, gaybashers etc. are words that seem to be used much more by men that are "proud" of their masculinity. Again I say what the hell is there to be "proud" of? Is it some sort of accomplishment? If it is then one must be denying there own temptations huh.

 

99 percent of my friends are straight (I think), and I would never call them homophobic if they said they found MM sex nauseating or compared it to eating shit. I would however question why they would feel the need to be so graphic. Hearing the words "like eating my own shit" is nauseating to me. My neighbors dog does it all the time and I understand it comes from some sort of dietary deficiency.

 

It is so predictable that disease transmission is used as a case against male bi-sexuality when in fact bi-sexuality can involve safe sex, oral sex or just plain mutual masturbation. There is a STD topic discussion on this board I believe, and that subject has nothing to do with what turns people on.

 

If someone posts a subject concerning foot fetishes I would not participate because I have no interest in it. But if I found it necessary to say that sucking toes is disgusting to me then would I be footophobic? Nah, I would probably just be considered annoying.

 

I don't have time to go back to Dan's posts and quote the words he used that I referred to but I am referring to them. And to the rest of the JURY. This is not a trial it is a message board. There is no one guilty of anything. John

[CanadianCouple 18]

First of all, the jury remark I made wasn't to liken this board to a trial, I simply used a courtroom analogy to point out a previous post where the author stated swinging IS about converting others, contrary to claims by some denying that. Yes, I'm aware only one individual came out and boldly stated in here that it's about converting other's way of thinking, but my point is they're out there.

 

Second, I opined that PERHAPS the main reason clubs frowned on m/m behavior is because of the much higher rate of HIV transmission associated with that activity, specifically anal intercourse. No, gay male sex need not include intercourse, but it's certainly a possibility, no? After all, club representatives aren't going to monitor sexual activity between men to ensure that doesn't happen. And after more than 20 years of watching AIDS bloom and spread within the gay community, is anyone in here willing to make a fool of themselves and deny the fact that HIV and AIDS is much more common among gay and bi-sexual men? After all, it was gay rights groups like ACT-UP which accused Reagan of not taking the disease seriously enough BECAUSE it affected mainly gay and bi men. You can't have it both ways.

 

No pun intended.

 

Dan

[LIZA 20]

I think Matt pretty much hit the nail on the head as far as men and bisexuality. I think if they were more free around each other, not always trying so hard not to look and not to appear a "faggot" then there would be a lot more acceptance of male bisexuality, as there is of female. Maybe it's just a matter of time.

Michigancouple, I REALLY doubt that 99% of the people you know are completely straight

 

Dan,

 

HIV infection is spread most easily thru anal intercourse and sharing infected needles. The anus in question can be male OR female. So perhaps instead of banning male-bi activity, swing clubs should just ban anal sex?

My personal experience (4+ years) in going to clubs is that there is not much if any anal sex going on anyway....but if a guy wants to blow another guy you can't sit there and tell me that is any more dangerous than a woman doing it.

[Stratecpl 19]

You people can do as you all please. As for me, I won't ever be coerced or sweet-talked into changing my standards or beliefs for anyone. Period. And I don't really give a damn who analyzes me to death, either, it's my life and my decision. And I think Dan would agree with me here, too.

 

To answer the question, would I suck my own dick.... Hell, no, I wouldn't. Why do that when I could have a willing woman do it for me? You say that swinging is synonomous with change, with evolving? I say that many of you out there think it means becoming as nasty and as perverse as you possibly can get. I might be rude and crude but I am STILL a gentleman. I spent my life growing up around a bunch of foul-breath, farting guys. Never once did I ever dream or fantasize about sucking one of their dicks, or having sex with them.

 

WHY??? Simple. Because I fantasized about women.... voluptuous, tall, short, petite, blonde, auburn, redheaded, white, black, red, yellow....WOMEN. It was (and still IS) my choice.

 

If you prefer male-male sex, so be it. While all you males are out there pawing at each other, guys like me will commandeer all your women....Right Dan!

 

Ron, Husband of Stratecpl

 

 

and for the female point of view on what Ron said..while all the bi women are out there pawing each other..straight women like myself will be MORE than happy to entertain their men... Right Janette!

[CanadianCouple 18]

Originally posted by LIZA:

but if a guy wants to blow another guy you can't sit there and tell me that is any more dangerous than a woman doing it.

 

Liza --

 

It is if one of those men is already infected, due to having engaged in anal intercourse with another infected man sometime prior to his present oral encounter, which is a definite possibility. It's also my belief bi men are largely responsible for the sudden increase in HIV among heterosexual women a few years back. In fact, if you were to trace all infections among heteros back to the source, I'm willing to bet you'll find that in nearly every single instance the cross-over transmission to a hetero was either bi male intercourse with a woman, or needle sharing.

 

I've always found it amusing (in a very sad way) how AIDS activists have claimed we all need to be able to talk about this disease in an open and constructive manner. Sounds good, but open your mouth to point out AIDS is a behaviorally spread disease, and watch these champions of the first amendment do everything in their power to shut you up. No one is 'blaming the victim', but AIDS was NEVER treated as the health issue it really is, but rather a social and political one. And that's where we've really fallen down, IMO. An immigrant testing positive for any other communicable disease, tuberculosis for example, would find it quite difficult to gain entry into the United States. Deny entry to an AIDS sufferer, and the INS are now homophobes.

 

Regarding the "eating your own shit" reference made by someone else, I agree it's a brutally graphic analogy, similar to the one I made some weeks ago about incest. But I believe the person who wrote that was attempting to illustrate how personally repugnant gay sex was to him , if he were to engage in it, as I was attempting to do so also.

[CanadianCouple 18]

Originally posted by Stratecpl:

To answer the question, would I suck my own dick.... Hell, no, I wouldn't.

 

Hell no, I wouldn't either. BUT, it'd be nice if it was long enough to do so.

 

Seriously, what these people can't seem to grasp is the majority of us heteros, especially within the swinging community, don't care what others do with and to each other, but we're going to stand our ground about what WE will and won't do. And that includes refusing to engage in bi-sex, and refusing to feel guilty about it.

[LovinSwingin 15]

This is a board on bisexuality. I personally feel that women and men bisexuality is just as bad as beastiality. C'mon two women licking eachother that is soo gross...what is wrong with ya?? How could any man think that two women together could look good?? A woman was built for a man.

[LIZA 20]

Dan,

 

If a straight man getting the blow job had shared a needle with an HIV infected person prior to said blow job, he could also possibly pass it on to the woman giving it to him. I say possibly as the odds of HIV infection via oral sex are very, very slim unless you have bleeding sores in your mouth

[MattMann 17]

Hey calm down, I agree with the hetero point of view, I can't see looking at a man's hairy ass and being turned on; and while two women together makes a much nicer picture, it really doesn't do anything for me either past the first few minutes of the nice aesthetics. (In fact, it seems nearly all the couples we meet want a bi-fem and my wife, while not opposed to it, really isn't bi and prefers men and doesn't want to be the center of attention. I sometimes wonder if there are any women out there who just are attracted to men. But that said, I was just trying to say that for a man, wondering what giving a blow job is like is not something that makes you a screaming queen and is a normal curiosity even if you refuse to admit you have it. If you don't, fine, that may be true, but be honest with yourself at least. To say you wouldn't suck your own if you could because you have a woman to do it is not honest. Would you say you never have masturbated because you have a woman too? We all would know that was a lie.

[danc694u 19]

I'm making my last post on this...

 

Preferances...IF you prefer men, and you are a man..you're GAY...not bi. If you're equally happy with men and women. You're BI.

 

Again, we're back to that word preferances. I think a dictionary, and less time posting your arguements on this board would help more.

 

I haven't found the term "closed or open minded" in the definition of preferances yet!!!

[Flori_DAMAN 25]

I think there are many degrees of sexual preferences that do not fall into bi or gay or straight.

 

As an example, I find nothing attractive about males in a sexual way. I could not tell you if a guy is a hunk or not other than he may be muscular or whatever.

 

I am attracted physically strictly to females. However. because my wife likes to watch me have oral with men infrequently and it is a curiosity thing for me then I guess I may not fall entirely into the straight category but I do not beleive I am bi at all. When I was single except for a couple of bad MM experiences as experimenting when very young I never considered it at all and would not consider it without my wifes' being there.

 

I think the gay pride parades are ridiculous because they gain so much liberal media attention that sort of suggests gays should receive preferential treatment. But especially because sexual preference is absolutely nothing to be PROUD of. It is nothing you can control and it is just simply a part of who you are, not good or bad.

 

On the subject of converting however there are many many groups that atttempt to convert gays to straight. Mainly religous organizations. I have NEVER seen a group try to convert straights to gay. The very thought is nothing short of laughable. Of course if I were to say "try it you might like it" then some would think I was some sort of flaming gay that is trying to coerce an unsuspecting straight guy into haveing a transgender operation.

 

I happen to know a male that is totally effeminate. He has told me that he knew he was gay when he was under the age of 6. He has absolutely no attraction to females and finds the idea of them even being around when he has sex to be a turn off.

 

He has also indicated that this has been the single biggest problem in his life. His parents rejected him and he has a very difficult time finding employment and friends that are not gay. I think that is very very sad.

 

The remarks made by swingers considering bi-curious males shocks me to no end. If someone came on here and blasted them for there lifestyle they would be up in arms but they smugly insinuate that their sexual preference is somehow better than others. They feel it necessary to express opinions on how bi people are somehow trying to convert them or looking down on them for being straight.

The totally opposite situation is a very real problem with many thousnds of gay and bi people in this country however. Find me one group of people that are trying to convert straight people to bi or gay. Go to the christian coalition links and there are dozens of groups attempting to do the opposite.

 

Of course there are individuals that do so for there own purposes. My wife is straight and I would never push the issue that I would like to see her with another female. Some males are obsessed with the thought and really push there wives into it. I think that is so wrong. She said she'd like to see me have oral with a guy though and after thinking about I acted on it and it wasn't bad at all. Nothing like fireworks of course for me but it sure made her day.

I also see a lot of back slapping and high fives between people that agree with each other in here.

Again this implies that everyone else is wrong and that the person they agree with has just made some profound statement that ends the issue. Truly ludicrous and immature imho. john

[Stratecpl 19]

Well, this was supposed to be a "DISCUSSION" of bisexuality in swinging. For many, it's the greatest thing on earth. If you do it strictly because you want to do it, with no pressure from anyone else (wife, swing partner, guys at work, etc...) then that's just fine. It's your choice and you can and should do whatever it is that turns you on. And if you are dyed-in-the-wool straight (as my wife and I are) then it's ALSO your choice, your decision, to do as you please. To try to force someone to "try it your way" is wrong. Too many women are forced into bisexual encounters by husbands who want to get their jollies watching this. And from what I've read here, some husbands are likewise coerced into it for similar reasons.

 

I have no problem with swinging in the presence of some guy who may be turned on looking at my privates. Looking is just fine, but if he does anything more than just look, I really don't think he will be ABLE to try it again. He will receive one caution beforehand, and he's expected to honor my or our wishes. If he crosses that line his ass is mine.

 

Period.

 

As for the statement made by Matt.... "I sometimes wonder if there are any women out there who just are attracted to men." Matt, the answer is YES. My wife is one of those women who are attracted ONLY to men. Matt, as far as masturbation goes, we've all done that.... men and women alike, whether we admit it or not. But it's not exactly the same as one guy masturbating ANOTHER guy.... you see my point?

 

This entire thread was pretty simple. Either yes, you do or no, you don't. Since I stated a hundred and something posts ago that no, I did not, I have been labelled as a homophobe, a freak, whatever else some of our forum experts may choose to call it.

 

I don't care what anyone's choices are, mine are mine and no one can ever change them.

 

Ron, Husband of Stratecpl

[MattMann 17]

Ron, I am glad to see your wife is one of the few women who aren't bi-hungry, my wife is as well (I don't know why, but I just take it personally when most of the straight women start preferring women to men, who does that leave ?)

 

And I hope you don't think I was one of the ones attacking your choices, I only questioned your adamant refusal that you would not perform oral sex on yourself if you could, not suggesting you would be interested in doing anything to another male. Since you admit to using your hand on your penis to pleasure yourself , I don't see what difference using another part of your body to achieve the same pleasure would make, that's all.

[Pac 15]

Hi I am fairly new here but I have been reading the post on Bi men, it seems there this is not an area of swing open to quite a few men here. I would think the group would be more with the live and let live. I agree no one could or should get me to do anything I didn't want, most of the posting I have read have a strong opinion of what they would or would not do. But if some one else is getting into a bi thing with each other what would I care as long as I wasn't forced to join. thats my view.

[HondaXL350 15]

Just my opinion: If someone is straight and not willing to try "Bi", they are not closed minded. Being Bi is a matter of preference. If someone was not willing to have sex with animals, are they close minded? To each his/her own!! As far as the definition of Bi or curious, I think each person seems to have there own opinion. I think women can kiss & be straight, assuming it is not a passionate kiss. Sort of like a hello or goodbye kiss. To the couples that won't swing with Bi couples or vice versa; Just set up ground rules... no touching between same sexes. If they don't like that, they're not the right people to be with. If you're with another couple, all involved people have to agree on what they're gonna do or not gonna do. Obviously we are all open minded or we wouldn't be swinging at all.

[Flori_DAMAN 25]

Originally posted by HondaXL350:

Obviously we are all open minded or we wouldn't be swinging at all.[/QB]

 

If all swingers were open minded then there would be no problem with MM bisexuality at swingers clubs. MM bisexuality would not be compared to beastiality or incest or eating shit. Swingers are like everyone else. Have you ever heard anyone claim to be "closed minded"? Of course not, but they always give themselves away by expressing unsolicited overly descriptive opinions on a given subject.

 

Swinging is not about being open minded or about being better than non swingers. It is about enjoying your sexuality in ways that are not normally socially condoned.

 

Certain factions of the gay community totally abhor bisexuality also. They do not condemn heterosexuality but are very vocal about bi. Go figure huh.

 

Weak minded people need to belong to a group to get the support they need for there huge egos. They must have compadres that are just like them so they have someone to look down on. Beleive me, the swinging community is not anymore open minded than any other group. Individuals within any community will have individual degrees of open mindedness.

 

The subject matter of MM bi-sexuality on this board and the rude insulting comments make this very clear.

 

Finally, the straight women are all over the place. Why is there more female bi-sexuality at swinging clubs than anywhere else? It does not seem logical that the swinging community would have a higher percentage of bi-sexual females than the general population.

 

At the risk of offending the "proud straight people", maybe it really is because females have a higher sense of getting in touch with there feelings then most men do. Many of the bi females at clubs were initiated into swinging by there husbands but found that the idea of FF playing was intriguing. My wife along with many many other female swingers is not in that particular group but is not proud nor ashamed of it. There is no shortage of straight people in the lifestyle. There is definitely a shortage of open mindendness though. John

[BiFriend 15]

MichiganCouple, et. al,

 

Well said....

 

We Men have been so oppressed by a society that makes us believe that the only way to relate to each other is through competition, fighting, war, and to focus on material and financial gain alone. While competition and material things have their merits, I'm afraid they will NEVER give us the happiness we seek, and eventually we become pretty unhappy if our lives are totally governed by these THINGS, the very things society says we *should* have.

 

Bisexuality is, to me, a rather "advanced" form of sexual expression. It feels neither "gay" nor "straight" and I know people who practice bisexuality can be completely happy identifying with one or the other (and free to choose either way too!). Most of the "bisexuals" I have met identify as "mostly straight." I myself feel quite "straight". I know many women who consider themselves "bisexual" are actually in long-term loving relationships with their husbands or boyfriends.

 

I think the swinging community CAN and SHOULD change to become more allowing of bisexual play among men. Furthermore, I think the swinging community is the PERFECT place of it! Why not?! I personally know a lot of *women* who think it would be wonderful and a lot of fun to see men together! Truth be told, I think there are *already* a lot of bisexual or bisexually-inclusive men who happen to be swingers right now. Naturally, they feel awkward if their environment isn't condusive to something, and especially if there's a HOSTILE environment around sexuality.

 

So, I think swing clubs should have a "Bisexual Couples" night once a month. And, people are mostly curious afterall and I think swing parties are a lot more wholesome and healty a way for men, especially married men, to enjoy this aspect of their sexuality than other forms of "recreational" sex, most of which strike me as pretty un-healthy.

 

What's mostly upsetting on this board is a sense that, even in this day and age, the 21st Century, we live in a global age, we see so much more acceptance than before, so many people with different backgrounds and diversity living side-by-side... Yet, some people are still propping up the same old me-first exclusionary vision. By no means am I scolding people saying this vision is "wrong", it's just something like, "give it a break", when has this vision EVER made people happy in society, how is this ever gonna make YOU happy? Sex and sexuality are meant to be enjoyed afterall, and it's somewhat disturbing to hear people say things that make me believe they aren't very happy. Sadly, I'm afraid that no amount of swinging is gonna help in some extreme cases.

 

Happy Holidays,

 

-- P.T.

[J.Bunny 15]

Ok, let me see if I'm understanding what you are saying correctly, Bifriend. You are saying that since I'm a heterosexual woman and since I am not sexually attracted to other women OR have any desire to have sex with another woman, then that makes me an unhappy person? That has to be the most off the wall slant on this topic I have heard yet!

 

J

[Stratecpl 19]

Bifriend,

 

If I am "repressed" or whatever it is that you stated, then I'm supposed to be sad and mournful? I'm supposed to go out and have sex with other men so I'll be "whole" or "unrepressed?" HAHAHAHA!!!!!

 

You do it, I don't want any part of it.

 

You stated: "I think the swinging community CAN and SHOULD change to become more allowing of bisexual play among men." You would probably ALSO say that every person has inborn homosexual tendencies, right??

 

Yes, this is the 21st century, but not all of us want to do what you want to do. It's all a matter of choices and preferences, RIGHT????

 

Tell you what, YOU do the same-sex stuff but you'd best NEVER try it on ME. I don't think I'm the only man left out here who feels that way, either. Meanwhile, I'll just take my miserable, unfulfilled self out and have sex with WOMEN.

 

Ron, Husband of Stratecpl

[danc694u 19]

Awwww Gawd!!!!

 

I can't believe you guys fell for that little trolls post!!

[Stratecpl 19]

Well, we figured he was a troll, but it was kinda fun... LOL

 

Really....

 

We don't care what the preferences of others are. We all make our own choices. Sometimes people try different things if they are curious. If they have a bad experience then they may revert back to their original status. As long as they are respectful of the wishes of others, I see no problems. It's just those trolls who piss me off....

 

Ron, Husband of Stratecpl

[BiFriend 15]

J Bunny et al,

 

Well, I don't think *anyone* is suggesting people do things they don't want to do -- we certainly wouldn't have a very good time in swinging if people did THAT! It would also be against the rules.

 

Please note that I've never used the word "repressed" to describe anyone's sexuality... Please also note that I've never stated anyone's sexuality is either "good" or "bad" or "better than" anything...

 

Speaking only from my own experiences around bisexuality, it's almost an anti-climax to say at this point: it's *SO* not a big deal! It's so not the dreaded things I might have feared at one time, nor is it all the hottest and greatest either. I guess you could say this is no different from anything else we might discover in swinging, afterall.

 

Hope this helps,

 

-- P.T.

[Us 15]

This is the craziest thing I have ran into so far in this lifestyle. I am a BI WOMAN...then you ask a woman if she is bi and she says no..but she will kiss, touch, and received oral?? What is up with this????I could maybe see the receiving....suppose what is the difference between mouths..but if they touch and kiss??? I would call this bi...but they just will not do the dirty work...maybe lazy. I dont know...just my opinions.

[JustAskJulie 2,589]

This same basic topic of "what is bi and are you" just came up on a webmaster/amateur board that I frequent. A new term was posted there that I think some of you might liked.....

 

hetero-flexible

[CplFromMD 15]

I'm sure to be flamed for asking this question, but it's worth a shot:

 

Is a "supposedly straight" guy that enjoys sucking cock or having his cock sucked by another guy really bi?

 

We've been to many a group sex party where the participants get heated up and turned on to the point that some guy will usually end up with a cock in hand or mouth, and it goes unannounced. The guy being handled or sucked is usually none the wiser, most times just enjoying being pleasured - so who is bi is this case, the guy sucking or the guy being sucked and what difference does it make. Group sex is group sex - everyone pleasures all the participants...

[CanadianCouple 18]

Originally posted by CplFromMD:

Is a "supposedly straight" guy that enjoys sucking cock or having his cock sucked by another guy really bi?

 

The answer is an absolute, unequivocal yes.

[Stratecpl 19]

Originally posted by CplFromMD:

Group sex is group sex - everyone pleasures all the participants...

 

Which is exactly why Ron and I don't ever do group sex!

[JustAskJulie 2,589]

Is a "supposedly straight" guy that enjoys sucking cock or having his cock sucked by another guy really bi?

 

If the question had ended here I would have agreed with the others and said yes. However it didn't. It went on to say....

 

The guy being handled or sucked is usually none the wiser, most times just enjoying being pleasured - so who is bi is this case, the guy sucking or the guy being sucked and what difference does it make. Group sex is group sex - everyone pleasures all the participants...

 

In this case, I would say that the guy sucking is very definitely bi. However, the guy being sucked (as you said) has no realization of who is sucking his dick, it could be a guy, it could be a girl, it really doesn't matter to him. So I would not say that he is bi.

[SagaCapt 15]

Hi All,

 

I'm new here and maybe its too late to join this thread but as a bisexual guy married to a bisexual woman, I'd like to throw my two senses in.

 

First, I'm a slut for sensations. It doesn't matter WHO is giving the sensation. I also LOVE to pleasure others and will happily pleasure guys as well as girls.

 

Second, I have found that "swingers" in the past have been fairly bimale-phobic but on the west coast at least, I've seen a change over the last few years. There are even bi-swingers groups there. Also the Pansexual and Polyamory communities in California play in ways very similar to swinging but seem to openly embrace all sexual orientations.

 

Third, safer sex and bi-guys and aids/hiv. Practice safer sex with EVERYONE! We ALWAYS use condoms. Yes, from the stats I've seen biguys who did not practice safer sex and contracted HIV did pass that onto their wives in large numbers but let's blame unsafe sex not the fact that it was bi-sex.

 

We expect those we play with to be open minded but don't expect them to change their minds. If you say your straight, fine, we'll play that way. We might take a moment to let you know where we're coming from but we wouldn't push it on anyone. On the other hand we don't expect people to run out the door when they hear that we're bisexual.

 

The key is CONSENT. Before we play with anyone, we talk about who likes what and how and that's what we do.

 

Hugs to all,

 

Alan

[Bicouple 15]

Wanted to have an input here also, so here goes. As you can see we are a bicouple, meaning we both like bi-play. I myself am only orally bi with men, I dont do anal. Ive been this way since I was 14 and enjoy the fact that I can please both men and women. And get this, my girlfriend loves watching me pleasure men!Like so many of you have said, its not something we push on anyone, but then again we dont hide the fact either. We do tell people upfront that we are this way, but also let them know we dont have to do that if they are not interested. And again like so many others, we are shunned at times because we are bi. And about meeting single guys, well, it seems that there are alot of bicurious fellows when they find out a woman is involved, even if its only for her viewing purposes. But then alot of guys, and couples for that matter are what I call.....talk the talk, but cant walk the walk!

[LaudableMule 15]

Very few women have ever been able to perform oral on me the way a man can. My wife absolutely loves watching a guy give me head, and I get off knowing how turned on it makes her. As far as what other people think...who cares. There is a swing club in Pittsburgh, PA that caters to the Bi community. It's called the Swingers Palace. One could never tell that bisexuality is unpopular among swingers when clubbing there. The place is always packed, and it is common to see two men going at it. I agree though, the mainstream swing community is frightened by the thought of men getting off with men. Oh well...

[JoeMama 15]

Hi All,

 

Just a new guy here. I really liked this thread, and thought I'd throw my 2 cents in.

 

I personally think of myself as "try"sexual.......I'll try anything once, and if I don't like it, I'll try it again just to make sure )

 

Hey Michigan Couple, Macomb County area here.....how about you two?

[Perseus 16]

Originally posted by michigancouple:

I think the gay pride parades are ridiculous because they gain so much liberal media attention that sort of suggests gays should receive preferential treatment. But especially because sexual preference is absolutely nothing to be PROUD of. It is nothing you can control and it is just simply a part of who you are, not good or bad.

MichiganCouple,

 

Please don't take offense to this, but I think you may have missed the point of “Gay Pride” and all the outlandishness that surrounds it as many people in America have. It not really about being proud of their sexuality but more about being 'comfortable' enough with their life and lifestyle that the can come out of the closet. In the days and years following Stonewall (the beginning of the gay rights movement, for more info see Stonewall 25: Cases 1-2. The first thing that had to had to happen was the 'coming out' of gay, lesbian, bisexually, and transgender people. You can't stand up for your rights if you live a life in secret. To help this along, the term "Gay Pride" was coined by leaders in the movement to increase their ranks. Of course, in their enthusiasm for the movement, as well as the shear joy of no longer living a lie, the flamboyance that you see in gay pride calibrations and is so common much of the time in the gay community followed (and I believe is an act in most cases, just as ‘gruff, tough, and mean’ is in the motorcycle community). Only when people were ‘out’ could a true movement for rights begin, just as women and minorities had to overcome their fears before they could truly begin their journeys to equality.

 

At least that is my take on it.

 

Perseus

 

P.S. I do agree that it does come off to sometimes that they are seeking preferential treatment, but I think the minority and women's rights movements get the same kind of stigma sometimes.

[Sweetdevil 17]

Perseus,

 

Without starting a war, what are the "enumerable civil rights" which gays are being denied?

[NittanyLion 15]

Perseus has said what needs to be said very well, so I'll just say "bravo!"

 

There was a recent episode of the "Troy" comic strip that both poked fun at and supported the gay pride marches and parades that I think summed up why we still celebrate gay pride. Most of the characters focus on the silliness of the parades but it's left to the main character in the last panel to explain what pride day means to him: He had come from a small, conservative town, a place with only one gay bar, with blacked out windows and a hidden side door, all signs that being gay or bi there was something to be ashamed of or something that could bring on violence. Gay pride parades, for him, was a way to be open, free and happy to be safe and accepted. Gay pride parades are silly, and even a bit shocking, but they are harmless. Judging the entire gay community based on what is seen at a pride day parade is like judging an entire town based on any wild festival like Mardi Gras.

 

Just 2 cents from an openly bi guy in rural Pennsylvania.