Sex Accidents - What's Your Worst Case Scenario?

[warkman 31]

A long time ago my girlfriend and I were going at it pretty heavy in this tiny room where I was living on a twin bed. We kind of lost track of its inadequate width and rolled off together pulling a chimney lamp down on my head which shattered. No cuts, but a big bruise on my forehead. Earlier than that, one of my first sexual experiences (and most likely hers too) ended up with some pretty good penis bruising after oral. I think teeth were most llikely involved but I sure didn't notice at the time. Surrender

 

BTW, Atilla--nice avitar.

[pauldavidnews 15]

Last weekend my wife got into hard and heavy all Saturday. We fucked a couple times in the middle of the day, but the hard session came that night. She rode me hard for about a half hour and then demanded I get behind her. That went on for awhile longer until she told me she couldn't take anymore. To make a long story short, she's still sore a week later. She even had trouble walking for a couple days. We've gone at it hard before but not like that night. Needless to say the only damage done was that I haven't had sex since.

[biblonde 22]

We had some playfriends over our house for some fun. We are all on my bed, which sits kinda high off the ground, and haveing a real good time. The guy I was with decided to lift me up to pull me ontop of him and well we both went flying off the bed!!! and crashed into my nightstand. He ended up hitting his nose and my upper arm got the full corner of the nightstand into it. He landed first and me ontop of him. We both checked to make sure the other was okay then busted up laughing .. The next day his poor nose hurt and I had a huge bruise on my arm that looked like someone had grabbed or hit me. Try explaining that one at work...ummm I was drunk and fell off my bed...lol

although it hurt for a week it was funny.

[tracy1878 19]

a friend of mine had told me (i was young and inexperienced at the time) that if you flick the base of a mans dick, it's really great for him.... well, either i did it too hard, or didn't do it right cause my poor hubby (then boyfriend) flew up off the bed wanting to know why i was mad at him! Another one was when we were going at it hot and heavy and were allready sweaty... he rolled me over to do doggy style, and i ended up scratching my forehead with my fingernail by accident... i had a 3 in long cut going from my nose to my scalp... that was an interesting one to explain!

[Sonya 15]

Early in our Sex life we had a similar eperience to the water-glass-on-the-head-board situation. Only instead of water it was a candle on the bed stead......ouch!

 

We ended up with hot wax all over his chest and my thighs! (

 

I know.... I know... you thinking "Hot wax? kinky!", but in the dark and unexpected, it was painful and ruined the moment.

 

.....................At least we can laugh about it now.

[beaverz 18]

Posted by Sonya:

We ended up with hot wax all over his chest and my thighs!

 

Ouch, it's a good thing the wax didn't land on your face or other sensitive body parts.

[EvilMJ 65]

Happily I can say this next story does not belong to me...but my sister .

 

Through most of senior high school she was involved with this guy - one of those on again off again sex things. So anyhoo...she and all her friends were down at the local hang out, the house of one of the guys in the town. While everyone was hanging out on the deck, these two snuck off the the garage and climbed up to the roof and proceed to have a go at each other.

 

What they didn't know was that somewhere in the middle of all this was that the father of the guy who's house it was had returned with his friends, so everybody decides to go to the garage (where all the beer is ).

 

Suddenly without warning the roof of the garage snaps and the two of them fall to the floor, buck naked, surrounded by everyone.

 

She certainly knows how to make an entrance ! (I'm just glad it wasn't me)

[SecretAsianMan 348]

Okay - this is just a fun thread I figured I should start...

 

A place to swap stories and share tales of FUNNY injuries or accidents which have happened to us during the throes of passion. It could be one of those "THUD - I fell off the bed and knocked myself unconscious" -type things... or banging on a sex swing and suddenly knocking your head into the night-stand -type stuff.

 

Keep it light & share some of our ...less than glorious moments!

[SecretAsianMan 348]

Here's a moment I had a few years ago:

 

I had brought my friend with me to a swing / birthday party for a friend of mine. And as the birthday boy was getting his b-day blowjob from one of the other guests. My friend and I were sitting on the next bed in the same room - just enjoying the sights and getting a little worked up.

 

I decided to shift positions... and next thing I know, I'm sliding off the bed and into the tiny little gap between the bed and the wall of the hotel room where at. My arms are over my head I can't generate any leverage - so basically, I'm pinned.

 

My first thought was... "Help, get me outta here" - but it was immediately squashed by the ridiculous humiliation of not being able to move and the idea of being stuck there all night while couples played all around me.

 

My friend was of no help - since she was busy laughing hysterically at my dilemna ...

 

Luckily, one of the other guests took pity on me and pulled the bed out from wall, allowing me to climb out from there.

 

Didn't really suffer any INJURIES (except my bruised ego) but it gave everyone a good laugh and relaxed my friend enough to join in the "celebrations" for the rest of the evening.

[jdavisauto 73]

Ok, this happen years ago while I was still in the army. I went out with a girlfriend of mine and did all the normal date stuff. We went back to her place and had a drink or two (as if we really needed more to drink). The foreplay started and as we got undress and after a few minutes of licking and sucking I got up to get to my pants for the condoms. Got the condom and put it on and when I turn around here she comes leaping up on me as I was standing, wrapping her legs around my waist. My back just said fuck you I’m not supporting her weight. We both went down to the floor. She broke her finger on her right hand and I strain my back. We both went to the hospital, she was place in a finger splint and I was place in a back brace. I told the guys in my unit that I hurt my back while helping a friend move. We both was hurting so bad that we never did had sex.

[bbarnsworth 2,536]

I told the guys in my unit that I hurt my back while helping a friend move.

 

Well, at least that's not entirely a lie

[sweet_tna 680]

Nothing spectacular, but . . .

 

Mr. Sweet was going down on me, and I jumped a bit as I orgasmed. I hit my head on the corner of the nightstand. No permanent damage, but OW! (And yes, we kept going)

 

We have broken TWO beds during sex, though . . .

 

=)

[lotsoffun201 175]

Well I do have a friend who broke her SO's penis. Not funny but it did happen.

[good times 990]

I think I have told this one here before, but it is the best story I have involving myself.

 

We were playing with a couple and the male half of the couple finished up with Mrs. GT quicker than I did with his girlfriend. So I am going down on her and he interrupts and asks if it would be ok if she sucked his dick while I was down there. I said, "sure, no problem". We were on a big bed and she was lying on her back. As he was swinging his leg over her to straddle her chest he smacked me a good solid whack in the face with his knee. Like a good trooper, after the stars and little birdies stopped swirling around my head, I continued on with what I was doing, and a good time was had by all.

 

The next morning as we were getting out of bed, Mrs. GT asked me, "what have you got on your eye". I go look in the mirror, and low and behold, I had a major shiner going on. Fact is, it is the first black eye I have ever had in my life. We laughed about it and commented on how that was going to make a good story. But the funniest part of the story happened later.

 

We had a weekend long function to attend with a bunch of vanilla friends that have no idea we are swingers. Mrs. Gt asked me how I was going to explain the black eye. I told her if anyone said anything I would think of something. Turns out first thing someone asked me was how I got the black eye. I decide that since I am a lousy liar, I would try the truth. So, with the straightest face I could muster, I told them, "I was eating this girls pussy and her boyfriend kneed me in the eye". They all laughed at that and said, "sure GT, I am sure that happened. If you don't want to tell us what happened, why didn't you just say so?". Mrs, GT and I still crack up about that one.

[Chris&Amelia 253]

Okay... gather 'round while I tell you a story 'bout a man named Chris.

 

We had a playdate scheduled for a Saturday, and we were both pretty hyped up about it. The outline was pretty much:

 

1) Meet couple at their house.

2) Go out to dinner.

3) Go see movie.

4) Go back to hotel.

5a) Hot swinger sex.

5b) Repeat #5a

6) ????

7) Profit!

 

Okay, maybe not #6 and #7, but you get the idea.

 

So I wake early in the morning because one of my dogs wanted to go drink some water. I open the bedroom door and she runs out to the water dish, and I sleepily return back to bed. Amelia was not home because she was still at work. Eventually, the dog returns and wants to go back onto the bed. We have a pair of little steps that they usually scamper up, but she was being lazy and/or clingy, and she wanted me to pick her up.

 

So, instead of doing the sensible thing, which would be to get out of bed, pick the dog up, put the dog on the bed, and then get back in myself, I just lean over the side, grab her, and with a twist of my back, haul her over the side. As I do this, I feel a slight "poink" in my back. "Oooh, I'm gonna feel that later," I think to myself.

 

I wake up shortly after that, hop out of bed, and promptly collapse in a heap. My back is KILLING me. I can barely walk. I can't stand up straight. I'm hobbling around like I'm 100 years old. The pain is amazing.

 

Do I cancel our playdate? Hell no.

 

As long as I'm sitting or lying down, I'm fine. So we drive to their house, and I hobble in. Our playmates, being the evil snarky bastards that they are (and we adore 'em for it) think this is amazingly hilarious.

 

So I'm hopped up on painkillers as we drive to the restaurant for dinner. Our playmates and Amelia snicker as I hobble, Bilbo Baggins-style, into the restaurant. We had fun at dinner, with some good food, a pitcher of sangria, and a cute (and quick-witted) waitress who we briefly considered inviting back to the hotel with us.

 

After dinner, we all agreed that we didn't want to catch a movie after all. So we head to the hotel, check in, settle into the room, and get down to business.

 

Of course, I can barely walk, which made things... interesting. If I was sitting or lying on my back, I'm just peachy. Other positions were a little more problematic.

 

She starts off with a back-rub, and things heat up from there. Considering my handicap, things are moving along quite well, considering the frequent breaks I have to take to reposition (and the resulting laughing 'cause they're evil snarky bastards).

 

I eventually end up on top and I'm thrusting away. She's positioning herself on the bed and pushing herself up a bit so that she's more on the pillows. As she slides up the bed, I follow her up (obviously... don't really have much a choice).

 

As we move up.... I find my head banging up against the headboard as I thrust. (thrust)(BANG)(thrust)(BANG)(thrust)(BANG). I try to reposition a bit, and a surge of pain shoots through my back. She's obviously enjoying the moment and not realizing the dilemma I'm in. (thrust)(BANG)(thrust)(BANG)(thrust)(BANG). Well, being the gentleman I am, I'm not going to be the one to ruin the fun, so I end up turning my head to the side so instead of the top of my head banging up against the hard solid wood headboard, my ear is slapping up against it again and again.

 

We finally all finish, and we're all enjoying the afterglow. Of course, now I have a throbbing back, and growing headache, and a sore neck. It's a shame they don't give out Purple Hearts for swinger-related injuries.

 

Did that prevent us from Round 2? Or Round 3? Hell no.

[sweet_tna 680]

Okay... gather 'round while I tell you a story 'bout a man named Chris.

 

We had a playdate scheduled for a Saturday, and we were both pretty hyped up about it. The outline was pretty much:

 

1) Meet couple at their house.

2) Go out to dinner.

3) Go see movie.

4) Go back to hotel.

5a) Hot swinger sex.

5b) Repeat #5a

6) ????

7) Profit!

 

Okay, maybe not #6 and #7, but you get the idea.

 

So I wake early in the morning because one of my dogs wanted to go drink some water. I open the bedroom door and she runs out to the water dish, and I sleepily return back to bed. Amelia was not home because she was still at work. Eventually, the dog returns and wants to go back onto the bed. We have a pair of little steps that they usually scamper up, but she was being lazy and/or clingy, and she wanted me to pick her up.

 

So, instead of doing the sensible thing, which would be to get out of bed, pick the dog up, put the dog on the bed, and then get back in myself, I just lean over the side, grab her, and with a twist of my back, haul her over the side. As I do this, I feel a slight "poink" in my back. "Oooh, I'm gonna feel that later," I think to myself.

 

I wake up shortly after that, hop out of bed, and promptly collapse in a heap. My back is KILLING me. I can barely walk. I can't stand up straight. I'm hobbling around like I'm 100 years old. The pain is amazing.

 

Do I cancel our playdate? Hell no.

 

As long as I'm sitting or lying down, I'm fine. So we drive to their house, and I hobble in. Our playmates, being the evil snarky bastards that they are (and we adore 'em for it) think this is amazingly hilarious.

 

So I'm hopped up on painkillers as we drive to the restaurant for dinner. Our playmates and Amelia snicker as I hobble, Bilbo Baggins-style, into the restaurant. We had fun at dinner, with some good food, a pitcher of sangria, and a cute (and quick-witted) waitress who we briefly considered inviting back to the hotel with us.

 

After dinner, we all agreed that we didn't want to catch a movie after all. So we head to the hotel, check in, settle into the room, and get down to business.

 

Of course, I can barely walk, which made things... interesting. If I was sitting or lying on my back, I'm just peachy. Other positions were a little more problematic.

 

She starts off with a back-rub, and things heat up from there. Considering my handicap, things are moving along quite well, considering the frequent breaks I have to take to reposition (and the resulting laughing 'cause they're evil snarky bastards).

 

I eventually end up on top and I'm thrusting away. She's positioning herself on the bed and pushing herself up a bit so that she's more on the pillows. As she slides up the bed, I follow her up (obviously... don't really have much a choice).

 

As we move up.... I find my head banging up against the headboard as I thrust. (thrust)(BANG)(thrust)(BANG)(thrust)(BANG). I try to reposition a bit, and a surge of pain shoots through my back. She's obviously enjoying the moment and not realizing the dilemma I'm in. (thrust)(BANG)(thrust)(BANG)(thrust)(BANG). Well, being the gentleman I am, I'm not going to be the one to ruin the fun, so I end up turning my head to the side so instead of the top of my head banging up against the hard solid wood headboard, my ear is slapping up against it again and again.

 

We finally all finish, and we're all enjoying the afterglow. Of course, now I have a throbbing back, and growing headache, and a sore neck. It's a shame they don't give out Purple Hearts for swinger-related injuries.

 

Did that prevent us from Round 2? Or Round 3? Hell no.

 

You know, that story's even funnier the second time around!

 

Ya' gotta' play through the pain, Darlin' . . .

 

And I bet you learned not to roll over and pick up your dog like that any more, huh?

 

=)

 

P.S. Don't forget that COMMUNICATION is an essential element to successful swinging! (ahem)

[Markspurangel 15]

friend of mine once was busy with his gal & the chandeler fell & he required stitches in his azz from the broken glass.

 

When he told the story, he said he was awful lucky it didn't happen a few minutes earlier. It would have killed him, he said.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

seems a few minutes earlier, the broken chandeler would have hit him in the back of the head.......................

[sweet_tna 680]

I don't know about a worst case scenario, but I've endured my share of charlie horses at inconvenient times, broken two beds, and bonked heads several more times than I care to count. That's enough for me, thanks.

 

=)

[LOL_OMG 130]

Many moons ago, doing a woman from behind while a bit toasted. Penis slipped out and hit her full stroke in the butt cheek. Ouch, then a bit of dull pain, then back to work. A few days later after an uncomfortable feeling in the groin area I went to the doctor. One hernia operation later things got a bit better. I know there's a moral somewhere in this true story, I'll try and think what it is heh.

[TravlParty 87]

Dancing around nude in a bedroom, 6 inch stilettos, nothing else. Four couples totally nude. Ready to get some action.

 

Tripped, fell, broke leg, dislocated elbow, torn rotator cuff.

 

Had a PE after surgery - ICU 7 days.

 

Spoiled the mood.

[JustAskJulie 2,588]

Dancing around nude in a bedroom, 6 inch stilettos, nothing else. Four couples totally nude. Ready to get some action.

 

Tripped, fell, broke leg, dislocated elbow, torn rotator cuff.

 

Had a PE after surgery - ICU 7 days.

 

Spoiled the mood.

 

You win!

[rpu3 630]

Dancing around nude in a bedroom, 6 inch stilettos, nothing else. Four couples totally nude. Ready to get some action.

 

Tripped, fell, broke leg, dislocated elbow, torn rotator cuff.

 

Had a PE after surgery - ICU 7 days.

 

Spoiled the mood.

 

This has to be one of the worst sex-accident stories I've heard. Not good if you end up needing surgery. And ICU on top of it?

 

I think I'll just be thankful that any odd sex issues are nothing more than the occasional head butt, leg cramps, bruised knees, and having fished a couple condoms out.

[athenagirl 36]

When Sex Goes Bad (Not to be confused with bad sex or no sex life)!

 

We watched the movie “Chasing Amy” over the weekend and could relate to the scene where they were discussing injuries they obtain while having sex. I thought it would make for a good thread.

 

Here’s one of our (When Sex Goes Bad) stories.

 

This occurred when my wife and I first started dating. We were in her bedroom in the dark. I was on top and raised up and pounding away. The bed was rockin and the headboard was slamming the wall (no one else was there, so no problem). Anyway my wife (girlfriend at the time) began to buck wildly, hell I thought she was really getting into it. She also started making strange noises (like gargling). I didn't relize anything was wrong, I guess half my brain was shut down due to the lack of blood flow, I just thought she was having a violent orgasm and plus I was doing all I could to stay on. She was like bucking horse, I was really enjoying myself.

 

(Hang in there it's nothing disgusting)

 

I began feeling a liquid substance on my arms and hands and noticed she was spitting and gagging. That’s when she finally managed to tell me to “GET THE HELL OFF” (she didn’t mean sexually). I stopped, got off and she got up and went straight to the bathroom. I stumbled around in the dark, trying to find something to wipe my hands and arms off. I figured she had gotten sick. Of course I thought to myself maybe “I fucked her too hard”. I knew I was good, but damn.

 

She came back in the room holding her head. I asked if she was alright. She said, no, I have an extremely bad headache. I asked her was it something she ate, she replied with “what are you taking about”. I said, didn’t you just get sick. She said NO, I didn’t get sick. She went on to tell me what happened. Apparently there was a 16 ounce glass of water sitting on her headboard. It tipped over dumping water into her open mouth and then fell on her, hitting her right between the eyes.

 

I obviously I wasn’t paying much attention and didn’t notice. Like I said it was dark and I was in enjoying myself. She was trying to get me to stop, but was unable to speak due to gagging on the water. She said she thought she was going to pass out from the glass hitting her in the face or drown from the water dumped in her mouth. She had a nice big bruise right between her eyes. Being the caring guy that I was back then, I had to ask “I guess a blowjob is out of the question? That obviously ended the night’s activities. We had to make up some story to tell her mom about the bruise, which was funny in its self.

 

Lesson learned; clear the headboard and leave some type of a light on.

 

Anyone else experiences a sexual encounter that went wrong maybe causing an injury.

 

I’m surprised the Fox Network hasn’t done a special “When Sex Goes Bad” right after “When Animals Attack”.

This brings a new definition to the term "waterboarding."

[Cpl2share 147]

How the hell do you follow that one?

Anyway: Lights off. Mrs. Cpl and I are in bed foreplaying (is that a real word or not?) and I ask her Why don't you get that little thing up on my mouth? She says, nope, why don't you get down there. I said because you want me to lick it, you can bring it to me. She says fine, but you batter make it worth my while. She throws back the blanket, spins around swing leg over to straddle my face, but not quite high enough knee hits nose, nose breaks! Even with a swollen nose she tasted great and was less filling.

[Markspurangel 15]

Ok, I guess enough time has passed.........

 

Several months ago Ms Pure & myself were going at it pretty hard & heavy. I was having fun using toys on her, one right after another.......everything from the little pocket rocket to the G-spot vib she absolutely adores.

 

Anyway, we conclude our 2 hour long interlude & she starts having chest pain. Being a nurse, I'm immediately concerned & do all the normal things that need done, check her B/P, pulse, look at her nail beds/lips for any signs of oxygen depravation. Everything is within a normal range, so I start taking care of her further - "slow deep breaths, relax on the bed, monitoring her closely, give her two chewable baby asprin........" Nothing helps.

 

So, about an hour after she tells me she has chest pain, it suddenly flairs into "crushing chest pain, radiating to her left jaw & down her left arm with numbness & tingling of her left hand/fingers".

 

Dial 911.

 

EMT's/Paramedics arrive (by this time she has her jammies on, but it still smells of sex in the bedroom)

 

EMT #1 says: "What were you doing just before your chest started hurting?"

Ms Pure: "Watching TV"

EMT #2 says: "Is that all you were doing?"

Ms Pure: "Yes"

Paramedic says: "You're going to the hospital, because your ekg is abnormal, your having extra heartbeats that shouldn't be there."

 

(Remember this is about 3AM on a Wed night)

I say: "Ok, she needs to go"

 

Arrive at hospital about 20 minutes later, chest pain is now gone, without any meds or anything. Doctor finally comes to assess her about 3 hours later.

Doctor: "What were you doing before you started having chest pain?"

Ms Pure: "Watching TV"

Doctor: "At 3AM?"

Ms Pure: "Yes"

Doctor: "I've never seen a heart case like this when someone is resting in bed. You must have been 'exercising' earlier to throw all these strange heartbeats."

Ms Pure: "I was. I went for a walk before going to bed, trying to get some sleep. I haven't slept but a couple hours for a few weeks".

Doctor (looking at me): "I'll give you some medicine, but you need to follow up with a cardiologist later this week."

Ms Pure: "ok"

 

We left knowing what the problem was. She just had too much fun!!!! We did follow-up with the cardiologist, found no problems with her heart. But as a prevention, did start her on some medication, similar to mine.

 

So, $8,000 later, we find out I cannot give her 25 orgasms in a row, without letting her have a breather..............................

 

[bbarnsworth 2,536]

Doctor: "What were you doing before you started having chest pain?"

Ms Pure: "Watching TV"

Doctor: "At 3AM?"

Ms Pure: "Yes"

Doctor: "I've never seen a heart case like this when someone is resting in bed. You must have been 'exercising' earlier to throw all these strange heartbeats."

Ms Pure: "I was. I went for a walk before going to bed, trying to get some sleep. I haven't slept but a couple hours for a few weeks".

Doctor (looking at me): "I'll give you some medicine, but you need to follow up with a cardiologist later this week."

Ms Pure: "ok"

 

Argh! Lying to the doctor too... naughty naughty

 

I understand being bashful and not wanting to say what you'd really been doing, but it's not like doctors don't know people have sex. They're not monks with PhDs or something

 

It IS good that you were so careful in regards to her health. Bravo!

 

 

So, $8,000 later, we find out I cannot give her 25 orgasms in a row, without letting her have a breather..............................

 

Death by orgasm. Wow

[Markspurangel 15]

Well, she was watching TV a few moments before the chest pain started.

 

'Course we always have the TV on.................

 

 

 

And I was having fun giving her pleasure. I'll do it again, given half a chance.

[BiloxiCouple 694]

Having recently lived the cardiac situation. It's not as funny as it sounds. And yes, my wife is a nurse too. And she is still concerned.

[MrLuvamon 15]

I too had a cock ring accident. I bought one in Nashville Tenn. at the largest sex shop that I had ever seen. I put it on there and drove back to Huntsvegas, Al. I wore it for that Friday and Saturday having one hell of a time since it increased my girth from seven and one half inches to about nine inches. It was so wonderful, I was considering porn with a cock like that(My length is ten inches easy)! Well on Sunday I was showering getting ready to take my girl back on campus and I noticed my erection had not gone down. I had been hard all weekend but had not cared since we did not leave my house and were naked the whole time sexing. I tried to take the ring off but to no avail was unable to as it was toooooooo tight. I had to go to the hospital and after sitting for six hours the staff member assigned to help me was a gay man that reminded me of Herbert from family guy, An elderly ephebophile who resides just down the street from the Griffins and impotently lusts after Chris and other young boys(does that explain the lust in his eyes for my cock?). The DR. had him use a jewelry cutter to remove the ring since it was metal. Once the cock ring was removed my cock returned to its normal state in about an hour or so and I was told that my condition was called Gorilla syndrome. shit hurt but after ten years its funny now.

[Sophy 551]

Not long ago we were playing with a couple we met that night and during a very passionate foreplay I got accidentally penetrated by the other guy before he had the opportunity to put the condom, we both jump back like cats! he almost fell from bed, my husband and the other girl were shocked, then we all laugh, It was most hilarious than anything.