Jump to content
Elusive BiFem

How much time elapsed between when you began discussing swinging and did it?

How much time elapsed from when you started discussing swapping till the first event.  

894 members have voted

  1. 1. How much time elapsed from when you started discussing swapping till the first event.

    • Has not happened yet!!!
      312
    • Less than 1 month
      111
    • Less than 3 months
      114
    • Less than 6 months
      82
    • Less than 1 year
      101
    • Less than 2 years
      68
    • Less than 3 years
      34
    • Less than 4 years
      14
    • Less than 5 years
      8
    • Five years plus (persistent people)
      50


Recommended Posts

We will have to let you know. We only started talking about it out. We have decided to go to the Yvette #4 event next july. Looks like a lot of fun but who knows what will happen between now and then

Share this post


Link to post

For those that it took quite a while 6 mos, a year etc. Did you find that you changed what you were looking for during that time? That you put yourself out there more? Was there anything in particular that you can see looking back on it that makes you think..."if we would have done that sooner!!"

Share this post


Link to post

It took us a while, we got the idea from a porn movie we had, and we talked about it for over 4 years before we ever acted on it. Mainly because we wanted to make sure it was something we really wanted to do. And for the most part, we have enjoyed the lifestyle. Mainly for us now, because of kids, and trying to find a sitter and find the time, we don't get together with other couples as often as we used to.

Share this post


Link to post

We started talking about fantasies one night, joined SLS about an hour later, and met our first couple within a couple of weeks. Just hung out the first time, then the week after went out to their place and had our first full swap. All within a month.

 

Good times...

Share this post


Link to post

It took us about three years from sharing fantasies and discussing to actually participating. We had religious hang-ups, job complications, and we are just pretty cautious, so we did a lot of research and investigating (which is what led us this site).

Share this post


Link to post

From the time I made the decision to swing it took about three months before I actually met somebody when I went to Jacksonville, Florida, and then three months after that I went to Crawfordsville, Indiana, and that was my first couple and that's why I have two anniversaries every year.

Share this post


Link to post

For us it is all very ne. It started with talk during sex. I'm pretty sure I started it as he is normally not the one to start. Lately we've been both super turned on during sex at the idea of watching each other with someone else, I'm very open but am super content in our relationship so I thought it was just talk. So the other day I get an email from him with a link to a craiglist ad, I open it and can see it is an ad he posted looking for a couple for us.

 

After I deleted the craiglist ad lol, I came in search of forums. So obviously nothing yet, it hasn't been long that we are talking about it, but we are in no rush, we want to be picky on our couples.

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Content

    • By Interestme82
      Hi out there. I’m married and in an evolving relationship. Last year I did a burlesque photo shoot for him as a gift. He loved the way it turned out but asked if I’d be willing to do something more risqué in the future. I got a reference from the original photographer (female) and told my husband the new photographer would be a male. Being the protective husband he is we both requested a meeting over a cup of coffee. We met which was great and made things all the more comfortable. I loved what I saw from his book and my husband did as well. 
       
      We had the shoot and the pictures came out great. He got really turned on by knowing another guy was doing the pictures. I was shocked. I asked him if he’d consider doing a couples shoot with me and he said he’d try but was reluctant. Pretty soon after he agreed and we were off again.
       
      Prior to the shoot my husband and the photographer talked about his career. My husband, who’s faithful, shocked me a bit with his envy and open talk about what the photographer experienced. I’m extremely open and joined in the conversation. Both of us felt like we were conversing with someone we really liked and knew a lot longer than we actually did. Unfortunately my husband had difficulties getting hard which is completely out of the ordinary. The photographer said it happened a lot and just to relax. 
       
      Surprisingly at my husband's request he asked for me to do a POV shoot the photographer showed us in his book. Basically it’s the photographer including himself in various ways while taking the pictures. As we started taking the pictures I liked being touched by the photographer even though it wasn’t active foreplay or sex. It really was strictly for the pictures themselves. During the pictures my husband quickly got hard and watched. Eventually the photographer asked him if he was going to get involved. The rest of the shoot went as we planned. Afterwards we all sat around and talked and went through the pictures.
       
      Some time passed again and we talked a lot about the fun we had with it. My husband admitted he liked watching the photographer touch me and if not for that he may have been to nervous to get hard. 

      I really want this to develop further but I’m apprehensive because it’s a major change in life obviously. I’m also not sure about how I feel about seeing him with someone else. When I say I’m not sure I mean most likely not. I don’t even really think he wants to. I almost feel like if I bring that up it will be too much too fast. Multiple times when having sex we’ve dirty talked about me doing another shoot and giving myself up. I’d feel more comfortable to actually do it than talk about it. 
       
      I feel like my husband has opened a door that I want to walk into. Am I reading it wrong? Is it best for me to just set something else up and let it work itself the way it will? Based on our interactions I have no doubt the photographer would be into it also. Would I be going to far given our relationship if I reached out to the him and told him how I feel, how my husband feels, and confirm he’d say yes? 
       
       
    • By Santokos
      First of all I would like to apologise for my English , as it’s not my first language. I’m a married guy and I just told my wife that my fantasy is to have sex with her and to be watched. So my question is what is better as a first timer , to go with my wife to a swingers club or to just meet another couple and have same room sex. What do you guys suggest? I’m not into wife swap. I just love to be watched 
    • By intuition897
      Mods, if you can find a better forum for this thread, please do move it. I'm not sure where it fits.
       
      I had a brain wave. I've been reading posts by newcomers to the lifestyle and I remember us being there ourselves. It's overwhelming, scary and you feel like a fish out of water. You don't know what's appropriate, what's not, and you have no idea what you should expect. There's such a huge learning curve, and I know it's kind of part of the experience, but still... I have to wonder how many of those monster mistakes could be avoided if couples had some guidance. Do we really need to make the painful mistakes to learn? Or could we still learn without the damage?
       
      Why is there not something like a newbie boot camp? A one-week resort take-over dedicated to getting newbies started out right in the lifestyle? Workshops on such things as club or house party etiquette, how to host a house party, STD protection, "speed dating" for swingers (learning to communicate with your partner), how to read and write a great profile, communication workshops, getting-over-jealousy exercises, body image discussion groups, and maybe a discussion group where sensitive questions can be addressed anonymously (such as about penis size, having a medical condition, or a physical disability). And of course, lots of opportunity to socialize with other newbs and veterans alike.
       
      We learned a lot from a more experienced couple, but we actually had our first full-swap experience with another "virgin" couple like ourselves. And it worked out great! Looking back, though, it's easy to see how many ways it could've gone wrong. Now that we consider ourselves more along the "veteran" end of the spectrum, we know it's important to "give back", and not avoid new couples. We've all been there, and we sure appreciated the guidance.
       
      So what does everyone think? Does that sound like it would be a good idea, or would it be too intimidating?
    • By AdamInEve
      We have read a few posts on this site about getting comfortable with others by easing into things slowly. Perhaps by playing naked games such as strip poker or truth or dare. We think this would be a good way for us as newbies to get comfortable with being naked around others in a sexually charged atmosphere. Perhaps the games could progress over a series of dates from just being naked to touching (erotic massage) to soft swap and hopefully all the way up to full swap. This way it might alleviate a good portion of the jealousy and nervousness that might accompany a first time straight on full swap.
       
      Our question is this. It seems to us this would be a good way to start, but just how many seasoned swingers would actually be interested in answering an ad from a newbie couple that stated this is how they wanted to proceed? Would the more experienced swingers just pass this type of profile by?
       
      Also, how would relatively new swingers, with just a few experiences under their belts respond (if at all) to a profile like this.
    • By intuition897
      I'm curious to see what everyone's initial experiences were in this respect. Perhaps this has been polled already, but I'll try it again. So did you start out slowly and gradually with much talk, or did you just decide one night, on a lark, to hit a club and the rest was history?
×
×
  • Create New...