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Elusive BiFem

How much time elapsed between when you began discussing swinging and did it?

How much time elapsed from when you started discussing swapping till the first event.  

894 members have voted

  1. 1. How much time elapsed from when you started discussing swapping till the first event.

    • Has not happened yet!!!
      312
    • Less than 1 month
      111
    • Less than 3 months
      114
    • Less than 6 months
      82
    • Less than 1 year
      101
    • Less than 2 years
      68
    • Less than 3 years
      34
    • Less than 4 years
      14
    • Less than 5 years
      8
    • Five years plus (persistent people)
      50


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A couple of minutes.... if that long. On my 21st birthday, we were joking around (okay, I was flirting) with a single guy in front of Mr. Nekkid (don't know what came over me - must have been the alcohol...) The guy suggested the three of us getting nekkid. Mr & I looked at each other, smiled, we said okay, and the two guys attacked me.... AAAhhhh... great memories!!!

 

From that experience to the next one was about 3 years.

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About a month. We had the usual "what if" questions for awhile, but we met a couple at a Mardi Gras party (which was not technically a swingers party) and the F of the couple asked if she could kiss Mrs. WS. Well, after that Mrs. WS wanted a girl. About a month later for Mrs. WS's birthday we went to a casino with this a couple of hours away. I got a suite with a hot tub and we all gambled, got drunk, went back to the room, played in the hot tub, and the rest is history! Mrs. WS got her birthday wish. I really don't know how I'm going to outdo it this year. :lol:

 

Mr. WS

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I think a month or so but it's kinda hazy now. It took 3 weeks to find the right couple and then a couple weeks after that. If I went through my old posts from when I first joined here I could find the exact numbers.

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Guest smileytattoo

About three years. We talked about our fantasies, the what if's, the how we would handle this or that, then we finally jumped in feet first.

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Still vanilla. In December we made our decision. :) It may be a few months before we actually get do the deed....if at all. :rolleyes: Taking care of a couple of health items first. :cool: Then the house goes on the market next month. :kissface: After that the new house will be set, in between we might be able to visit a local club to see what its like a few times. :D We are a little picky especially her, but we want it to be as right as possible. :rollseyes I told her I have no expectations above or below hers....she's the boss on this job. It might take a year or maybe two.

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We decided to go for it last January 2004. We posted adds, so that's probably why it took so long but it was worth the wait. We had our first play encounter 2 weeks ago.

 

Clubs are fairly non-existant where we live. We'd have to travel to go to one and with small children and no family living where we do, travel for an overnighter is pretty much out of the question. That doesn't mean we don't want to try it though. It's on our list of things to do.

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We're still in the discussion phase, we seemed to talk daily about it since it was brought up. Sure has spiced up our lives with the topics we've been discussing. Time will tell. :D

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Does a FMF count before we were married? And actually, it was supposed to be a payback thing. We partied with my sweety's friend and then my sweety went and played with her and her boyfriend. He chickened out so it never happened. I have to think if he would have gone through with it, I wouldn't be waiting for almost 18 years for some more playtime.

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It took over two years for us. We discussed it for a few weeks about two and half years ago, and even went as far as having dinner with a swing-couple we met online (but dinner was it). Then, just when I thought we were getting close to going forward, the wife backed out. She said she didn't see any reason to tempt fate.

 

So the topic was seldom breeched again for the longest time. Then, gradually somethings came up, and about two months ago I got word of a swinger party in our area, and mentioned it as a passing fancy to my wife about a few days before it occured. She didn't even really seem to care. But on the day of the party, she said, "Isn't that party tonight?" Out of the blue she wanted to go. We had a great time, and our relationship has gotten better since.

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With us we started talking in April 04 and in June 04 we had our first swap and have been going since.

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My wife is not very receptive to the idea at all. I have tried at numerous times when it is appropriate to bring it up, but she says it will never happen. I'm pretty bummed about it. It is a huge fantasy of mine.

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I would suggest an off-premise dance club for the two of you. No pressure, go have fun with your wife and hang out with swingers. She might not be comfortable until she see's the lifestyle. IMHO

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It just happened ... it during college, my roomate, my boyfriend (current husband) her boyfriend ... we got drunk, a little high and boom wild sex,

 

The drinking has toned down quite a bit, the getting high is a very rare occasion but the group sex part has continued ... and it is GREAT! :)

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Well I guess we have talked about it in passing over the past few years. Then one night we drove past encounters like "what is that?" So drove up and ask the valet. Since then we were interested. I got on line and did a profile then I let him read it. He took over the online stuff from there. We went to a few clubs, met some cool, sexy people, got invited to a few things, got invited for a sleep over after about 2 months.

 

 

My

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We kind of fell into a threesome, and that led to talking about "Swinging" and visiting our first club about a month after that first discussion. That was 23 years ago ;)

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Over a period of about two years or so, I would occationally mention to Mr.101 during sex that I had fantacies that included other people.

 

It was March of this year that I sat at the computer and searched Swingers. I found the Board. :) That's when we really started talking about it. It was the begining of Aug. that we actually tried it. :D

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I've been talking about it for almost 5 years. head bang She's been listening for 6 months but she's been hearing for several weeks :claps: .....obviously, still counting. When she starts talking ......words other than "no way, never happen ..... wow, then we'll be making progress. :rolleyes:

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Well, I answered "more than 5 years". altough persistence wasn't involved, at all.

 

In fact, it was somehow a funny story. At the beginings of our relationship, 16 years ago, I told her I was curious about swinging, and she said NO WAY!

 

She was so confident about the subject that I didn't insisted anymore. I knew it would be pointless.

 

She even told me she'd like to watch me with another woman in a bed, but I took that as something coming from her own "fantasyland", something that we couldn't bring to reality.

 

In the other hand, we weren´t jealous and discussing the fidelity subject we allways agreed sex has nothing to do with fidelity, so we declared our couple as "open", as long as the other didn't knew of the affairs. Theoretically, you should be able to please yourself in this life, and if you wish to be with someone else, you'd be doing something good to yourself, but if your partner finds out -for sure because you were careless-, then you'd be doing something to your partner. Nice theory, hu?

 

Anyway, in all these years I didn´t cheated, and as far as I know she neither did. As for me, I hated the tought of hurting her feelings even by chance, so I wasn't looking for someone else, nor found out someone able to push me into it.

 

But a almost two years ago, one afternoon we were cuddling after enjoing each other, you know, chit chatting, when she suddenly told me "you know... I was thinking of what you told me, and well... yes". I was perplex, didn't knew what she was talking about, so I asked "what I told you about what?", and she answered "well... about exploring our sexual fantasies involving other people in our bed... swinging. Do you remember?" - "but... that was 15 years ago!" - "i know, but I tought about that and, now I say yes".

 

She began an explanation about not being religious, about not being jealous, about several philosophiical aspects and the degree of trusting we achieved, but I hardly was able to follow her, because I fell of the bed and almost broke my neck with the surprise.

 

I gave her no time to withdraw and before she ended her explanations I was looking for local lifestylers boards and chatrooms. We went to a club that night, and to another the next night, we related with other people in chat rooms, and at last... it took about 4 months to our first experience, which was great.

 

So i believe there wasn't a switable option to answer the poll :)

 

sereneiders

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About one month. We were lucky. I found a couple near our age and who lived not far from us who sounded like "our kind of people." We met them for drinks & dinner, and 2 weeks later we did our first spouse swap.

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Well for Mrs Van and I it would depend on what we use for a start date :D She initially shared her "fantasy" of a MMF encounter around 6 months ago or something. I didn't think she was actually serious about it, but then she brought it up again in pillow talk one evening. So then I started doing to research into how to make it happen and the first site I found was SLS. Then I found this site and we registered on both of them as soon as I shared them with her. From the actual registration part to this past weekend, I guess it was about 4-5 weeks. :D

 

We voted for less than 3 months since that was when we actually started to talk openly about it without fear of the other thinking it was a joke. As a side bar.. this whole lifestyle has taken our sex life to a completely new level. It was starting to die off for some reason then bang.. :D

 

-Van

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For us, it hasn't quite happened yet, but it will likely happen next week. We started talking about it openly in November, and started looking around for information right away. We placed our profile online at AFF in December, and have met 4 couples for casual first meetings. Only one of those couples we've clicked with (major chemistry for all 4 of us) and now we're just trying to arrange schedules so we can have our first night together. We are so excited about it!

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Over the 5 year mark and wife still says "no way". She did attend a few swinger dances with me but we did not stay too long. She was hot after but still says "no way, never".

 

I'm trying my best to give up on the idea. It's too bad cause I think she would like it.

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Guest cvillecpl2002

We talked about it for .... believe it or not... 10 years

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We talked about it extensively for about 2months before we decided to take action. It was first mentioned out of spite with him wanting a FFM threesome. I told him I would in no way do it while he was upset and while we were on unstable ground. But after things changed for the better, we started disussing the FFM idea. I was also in the process of discovering my bisexual desires, so I placed an ad looking for women to experiment with. Through that came more discussion of swinging with another couple, instead of just a woman. About a month ago, we went to a club where there was a couples only room and anything could happen. Nothing happened for us, but we were interested in another couple. We didn't know proper protocol as to how to approach anyone. We just went again Friday night and after talking all week and all that evening about it, had a hell of a night!!! We did a full swap with 2 different couples and I also got to perform oral sex with another woman -not quite soft swap, but what I wanted definitely.

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Chip and I started with wonderful discussions while watching porn. I made some comment about having more than one partner at a time sure looked like fun. I was even bold enough to say, "I could do that!" We cannot remember when that first discussion took place, but Chip and I actively started chatting here on the board in January of 2005 and met a really nice guy on here. After e-mails and instant messages, we met him for a 3 some in May of the same year. I found out that I really could be the center of attention. We have had several swing club encounters, which ended up being MFM. We had our first couple swap in December and had a blast! It is all fun!

 

Muffy

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We are so secure with each other, we kind of mentioned it together after sex one night and then as it turned out went on our holiday not long afterwards. One evening at the bar we were feeling particularly good and a guy started to hit on her. She looked at me and I nodded. She asked if I was sure and that was that. Best night we have had so far :)

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My partner at the time had already experienced swinging with his ex. He started off smoothly by mentioning things as fantasies. Later he started to talk about experiences he had actually had. After over a year of this he started to mention his desire for me to attend an event as well. It still took just over 2 years to convince me I should try...Haven't looked back since... :kissface:

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It took us a long time to meet the right people for the first, over a year and a half, hopefully not as long for the next.

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5 months for us...from the day we first met we knew we were into fulfilling our fantasies and enjoying life to the full.

 

However, I don't think it will be a lifestyle choice for us...it's just about trying different things out....

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Hubby & I actually got started when we were dating. It probably took us so long because we were in the south & surrounded by people who were stuck on color issues, but we were persistent & it paid off. :)

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We talked about it in June and played in August. ::P:

 

We're still trying to figure out why we waited soooooooooo long!!

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Twenty four years (+/-) and we are not swinging. Problem was, she was NEVER willing to talk about it. The first time I brought it up was about a year after we were married, the second was about ten years after that, and I last brought it up about five or six years ago. Now after five or six years of abuse (emotional, spiritual, mental) I'm not willing to talk about it either.

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Has not happened yet :(

 

I've brought it up a couple of times.... I think if the situation was right she might go for some same room sex but I dont think she would go for any kind of swap...... she might, however, be up for some oral play.... thats just a wild hunch though.

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Just barely less than 2 years. We started discussing swinging within a month of when we started dating... and our first soft swap was last week (just barely shy of our 2 year anniversary).

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It was only two months between our first discussion of swapping until our cherry was popped.

 

=)

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Wife brought up going to SMI (Nude Resort/Lifestyle Friendly) in late December or early January. We went to Sea Mountain Inn (SMI) Jan 11/12. Agreed not to swap.

 

Discussed swapping or a MMF later in January. Attended Swinger's Party in Arcadia, CA on February 16. Had our first MMF (it was incredible!).

 

May try and set up our first MFMF in the near future.

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I started talking about it when we had been married around 12 years, after about a year she was showing some interest, we were married 15 years and were 35 when she went with her first ever other guy “I took her cherry when she was 19”. I had to leave a party we were at and I arranged for a friend to take her home and when I arrived home the next day she told me that she had done it! (our friend had became more than just a friend) :kissface:

 

That was the start of 25 + years of swinging, swapping M F M threesomes and her being a hot wife, we have now been married 45 + years and still loving it all.

:rolleyes:

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Our first experience was an unplanned, spontaneous instance of same room (tent) sex with another couple on a camping trip back before we were even married, in our college years. We had never discussed anything of the sort before then, so if that counts as "swinging" then there was about 5 minutes between when the idea came up to when we jumped right in! :D

 

The next morning we all talked about what had happened, and decided we were going to make it more interesting that night, and added a little FF action to the mix, with a little light touching between couples. I had no idea what that was at the time, but after my terminology education from this site, I believe that would be classified as a "soft swap".

 

So in that case, it would have been a little less than 24 hours before it was first brought up, to first encounter :D

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Guest rdy46227

We were ready to go in under 6 months, but it took another year (and a couple of fizzles) before we actually hooked up.

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Guest jef

Four years. Wife had reservations about getting into lifestyle. I did not want to pressure her. I worked slowly to make it easy for her to give in and finally she did.

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I haven't voted yet, but we have talked about it off and on for 3-4 years. I think it might happen someday, but we might be in the over 5 year group when it does! LOL

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We started going to clubs in late Dec/10 or early Jan/11. We decide that we would soft swap if it came up. Mostly we just have sex in front of others in the public rooms. About a month to six weeks later we got an invite to a house party and decided that we would full swap if we meet a nice couple. To say we jumped into the deep end of the pool would be an under statement. We ended up full swapping twice that night and have again almost every other weekend since we are having an awesome time.

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We talked about it and went to a party within 2 weeks. And another party, and another party. Went to 4-5 parties before doing anything, although we were looking to play after the 3rd party, never had the chance though to act upon it until about a month after our first party.

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A most interesting question. When we first met, I shared sordid stories of my single sexual escapades and that truly sparked an interest in him of wanting to swing. BUT, at that time, I was far too insecure in our relationship to truly consider it. The one time I swung while with a partner in the past basically ended our relationship. Fast forward five years or so after a major health issue and I approached him about swinging - finally coming to the conclusion that life was too damn short not to enjoy all the pleasures of the flesh it had to offer. There was little discussion of swinging in the middle, but somehow knew he would still be open to it.

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About 1 year total from the time we first talked about it until she had a 2nd cock in her hand. :D

 

First few experiences were with another girl joining us. They went ok.

 

Later, with all the other toy cocks joining us in the bedroom, I started suggesting that perhaps she would like to try a real one. She said no at first, claiming that she would never want to even try it and infact preferred having a girl join us instead.

 

She started off slowly with the boys, only willing to give him a handjob at first, while I fucked her. Then she started blowing them also. Then fucking them. Now, she takes a DP and a Facial finish and has a great time. She much prefers the men joining us now, then the women.

 

We haven't met with a couple yet, but will soon. It will be interesting to see how that works out.

 

Frank

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