Newbie questions about soft swap on cruise

20 years married and the lifestyle hasn’t been brought up. Wife wants a cruise and I brought up the adult and she thought about for a couple weeks and said yes but only soft swap I think you would call it? Said she would probably do oral and touching for us both. My question would this go over well in the community?

20 years married and the lifestyle hasn’t been brought up. Wife wants a cruise and I brought up the adult and she thought about for a couple weeks and said yes but only soft swap I think you would call it ? Said she would probably do oral and touching for us both . My question would this go over well in the community ?

In my short and limited experience, people who are truly in the lifestyle are not pushy at all. Fun can be had in all kinds of ways

Welcome to the site! We haven't been on a cruise yet, but I have no reason to believe they aren't like all other lifestyle venues where no means no, and how far you go is totally up to you and no one else.

You shouldn't have any problems at all, go and enjoy!

Some swinger couples are not interested in soft swap. In our experience, these are the really hard core folks. We're a full swap couple who are not adverse at all to soft swap situations. To us, the goal of sex is giving and receiving pleasure and orgasms. We like orgasms and we like to share them with friends. Where they happen is not nearly as important (penetration) as simply having them and sharing them. Many soft swap couples, as we were initially, ultimately and almost effortlessly slip into full swap as their comfort level and confidence increases. Our advice: Go on the cruise. If you meet a couple or couples to whom you're both attracted, be up front about your preference. I'll bet you'll have a good trip.

I’m not sure how you envision things happening but just let the other party know that it’s soft as you get started or soft with oral. Once expectations are properly set, there should be no problem, especially if she is willing to give oral.

Said she would probably do oral and touching for us both ...?

All of the above is good advice, but a question - it seems like you are looking for/anticipating a particular situation, MFM. Have you talked to your wife about what arrangement she would be happy with? Don't assume that what you have in mind is what she wants. For her first sexual outing she may be most comfortable with anything from being with a guy alone, to FFM with you not touching the other woman, to MFM with you watching, or any number of other arrangements.

The most important thing is that your wife is enjoys what she is doing AND is comfortable with what you do. Keep in mind that this is the first step, so if it's not everything you want, don't worry, she and you will explore more if she's had a good experience.

Best of luck.

Thanks for the replies. We really didn’t have any ideas of how this would go but think she just wants to take it slow and ease into it. I’m all in with whatever she decides but told her we needed to figure out beforehand. I mentioned that if she wants to try it she can book the trip I don’t want her to feel like I’m pushing her into it.

Man that’s great advice, glad I found this place. This is definitely some of the info that we need to know before hand that I haven’t thought about.

We have a partner and all she ever wants is soft swap - we have been friends for years. Things started slowly when she and I had a bit of a fling. She would come over when my husband was working and we would touch and kiss but never get naked. I shared that I was bisexual and was interested in taking things further. We got more physical over the next year and things progressed. She asked if I would be okay if she could join my husband and I. She touches us but isn't interested in any penetration. She loves to watch us and will touch us and give oral - she says letting my husband fuck her is too far. I think it's strange because she loves playing with him, but we respect her boundary and have a great relationship.

... We got more physical over the next year and things progressed. She asked if I would be okay if she could join my husband and I. She touches us but isn't interested in any penetration. She loves to watch us and will touch us and give oral - she says letting my husband fuck her is too far...

Our advice: Go on the cruise. If you meet a couple or couples to whom you're both attracted ...

. . . So it's absolutely NOT necessary to swing to have a great experience at a swingers' event!

Just let any couples you meet know UP FRONT that you are a soft swap couple. If they only want full swap, then they will walk away (and don't take it personally). You will still be able to find plenty of other couples that are interested in soft swap. Set the ground rules up front and there won't be any misunderstandings.

He or I give her oral