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Content Count
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Joined
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Days Won
7
Mr.Essex last won the day on June 5 2009
Mr.Essex had the most liked content!
Community Reputation
264 ExcellentAbout Mr.Essex
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Rank
Shy but brave
- Birthday 11/26/1978
Personal Info
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Relationship Status
Single Male
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Location
North Dakota, where freezin's the reason!
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Interests
Practicing G-spot orgasms, writing, biking, and not arguing politics
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Occupation
Military
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Swinging Experience
2 Years
Swinger Info
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SLS Name
MrEssex
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Favorite Club(s)
Carousel Club, Club Downtown, etc.
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Mr.Essex started following Wife diagnosed with herpes, says she'll not swing anymore, What is your profession?, What are GOOD reasons for a single male to be single? and and 7 others
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What are GOOD reasons for a single male to be single?
Mr.Essex replied to bbarnsworth's topic in Swinging Solo
You haven't been involved in the dating market for a while, I'm assuming? I won't go as far as to say that all women are tunnel-visioned narcissists, but I've met far more than my share of "Sex and the City" archetypes in my travels. For clarity's sake, I'll say that they were the type of women who couldn't have even had a conversation about churning butter without tying the event into whatever their overweening passion was at that point in time. Suffice to say, if your wife had an unerring ability to turn even the most innocuous conversation into an anti-liberal screed (as in, "Those pansy-ass Obama-huggers don't have enough upper-body strength to make butter!"), a pro-fashion screed ("Well, I've always loved the color of freshly churned butter. It's the same color as that dress that Angelina Jolie was wearing at the SAG awards banquet, the one that happened year before last that brought shoulderless dresses back into fashion for about three weeks before Heidi Montag made the trend/...") or worse, you can't sympathise with me at all. Then again, I've also been "lucky" enough to have dated a lot of city mice and country mice (the type of "mice" who tailor their entire lives around living the stereotypes), and it becomes awfully dull after the first few months. And the less said about the couple of women who decided to enlighten me on the "truths" of HBD, the better... -
What are GOOD reasons for a single male to be single?
Mr.Essex replied to bbarnsworth's topic in Swinging Solo
Even though this thread seems to be long dead, I'll put in my handful of change. I'm single because... I'm widowed My few requirements for entering into a LTR with a woman have never been met (can cook, is neat, can hold conversations that don't revolve around politics/celebrities/religion, isn't a habitual substance user {aside from cigarettes} and likes me for me. Younger women have a tendency to fail at the first three and I'm tired of meeting women in my own age group who treat alcohol and weed as crutches. No exaggeration in the above statement, sad to say.) tl;dr-I attract flaky young women (with the housekeeping skills of rabid ferrets) and jaded older women (who have a tendency to see me as prospective Husband No.2, but with their prior husband's same faults.) My job specifics involve large amounts of travel, and most women prefer to have husbands who are home on a daily basis. All of the functional (if not happy) marriages in my circles involve couples who are (at the very least) in "open-ish" marriages (IOW, what happens TDY, stays TDY). Now, if women like that were a dime a dozen, I'd be in business. However, they most definitely are not (whether they're "I'll overlook if because he'll be home soon" types or "Well, he told me to have fun while he's gone, so I'll do it because he loves me" types. Never let it be said that I'm not flexible.) Marriage and kids are expensive. To maintain the type of lifestyle to which the average American woman is accustomed, I'd have to earn at least 50% than I'm currently earning at this time. As with the ^^ example, I've seen quite a few military marriages fall apart because of the no money/hubby not home complex. Finally, if I meet another woman who either claims that she's "this close" to divorcing her husband or expects/attempts to get me involved as a "secret second husband", I'll just give up and move to the Yukon. I don't have a personal problem with polyamory, but I'm not readily built for that lifestyle. Long story short: I want to marry a woman who knows how to take care of a house without becoming a "Stepford wife", a woman who knows about more than pop culture/religion/politics-feminism, a woman who I can assume isn't going to leave me because I'm "too poor" or "never home", a woman who isn't going to go home to her "real" husband on Sunday nights and is still going to appreciate sex. You'd think that it's an easy thing to accomplish. You're wrong. -
Good advice, but I have to say that I'd never knowingly swing with anyone who referred to a penis as a snot Nazi.
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My opinion-Swinging and family shouldn't mix. If your daughter lived in a separate part of the country, then I'd have no problem with the idea of introducing her to a few potential partners or businesses. In fact, I knew a few couples with swinging children. They all had one thing in common: wen Mutti und Vater besuchen auf Koeln (Bonn, Essen, Mainz, Dusseldorf, die NRW, etc.), Tochter und Marko/Sohn und Claudie will besuchen auf Frankfurt (Wiesbaden, Wallau, Hanau, Darmstadt, etc.) Keeping a few hours difference between their circles was their way to avoid any awkward physical encounters (visual or otherwise) while still being able to enjoy play. Admission: I've visited couples in all of those towns.
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He doesn't want to have a threesome because the other guy is black
Mr.Essex replied to a topic in Swingers Talk
I have one piece of advice: Start to pay more attention to the way he treats and/or talks about the people around him. I don't have anywhere near enough information (nor do you) about the veracity or complete origin of his comments, but his ability to ignore your personal judgments (re: your black paramour) and immediately lump him into the the same category as his former "betrayers" speaks volumes. IMHO, his statement that he refuses to swing with black men because of prior slights (and his implicit assumption that you'd choose to swing with black men with the same worldview as his former "friends") may turn out to be a stumbling block in your combined future. I mean, if I told prospective swingers that I refuse to play with Southerners or Midwesterners due to past incidents of bad behaviour, I'd look like an idiot. If the lifestyle requires one thing, it's a level paying field. -
Is Porn-Style Sex the Swinging Norm?
Mr.Essex replied to coupleOswingers's topic in Let's Talk About Sex
*Snip snip* Answer No. 1-It depends on the person, to be honest. I will say this: there are a lot of people in the lifestyle on this side of the Atlantic who see swinging as a sexual contact sport (especially among the metropolitan crowd). For them, tender and slow lovemaking is for their SOs and the inevitable "favorite partner(s)", but casual playmates are seen as "emotionless humpables". I wish that I was joking about that idea, but the first couple who I met in this part of the country put me on their "Recommend to others" list because I'm not a big fan of extreme porno-style fucking, and they were looking for an Eric Everhard/Nacho Vidal-type "pussy punisher". Of course, the people who they suggested for me to meet were usually in the 35+ crowd, so everything worked out pretty well. Answer No. 2-Once again, it depends on the person. And once again, that ideal seems to be American/Asian-centric. The first couple that I met in Europe was shocked that I was putting on my clothes after the first encounter. The wife had to literally grab my sleeve and say, "Is that it? Do you have to go somewhere?" When I told her that I thought that they wanted me to leave, he laughed and gave me a glass of wine and said, "It's Samstag. What else is there to do on a weekend?" OTOH, the last couple that I met on my last trip to New York pulled the yawning and clock-watching trick before an hour had passed. IME, newer swingers seem to be more likely to expect a "Wham, bam, thank you ma'am", style of date, and the more experienced ones are more likely to want to make an evening of it on this side of the world. Answer No. 3-I'm the type of person who likes to take his time and smell the "roses":hahaha: I'm already down a couple of points by being a single male, I'd rather not compound my deficits by appearing to be a selfish or inconsiderate lover as well. And your post adds credence to my belief that slow and steady wins the race.- 31 replies
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"Crappy" she may have been, but I wouldn't have set foot behind the rudder of a 30's plane for all of the gold in Fort Knox. That takes a pair far larger than mine...
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No, most single male swingers in America aren't actively bisexual. To be honest, I've met my share of single male swingers who would... "go the extra mile" to have access to a woman (America), but I've never met a bisexual, "I'll take what I can get.", male swinger. Europe, OTOH, is full of heteroflexible men. And given the location of the OP, I'd assume that they've found themselves surrounded by people with "international" experience.
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What does a straight guy get out of sharing his wife in a MFM?
Mr.Essex replied to burton's topic in Swingers Talk
That's easy. The joy of seeing a woman taken to her carnal limit.- 21 replies
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I couldn't do it, and (given that I'm pretty good looking:hahaha:) you can assume that my family is filled with gorgeous people.
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Wife diagnosed with herpes, says she'll not swing anymore
Mr.Essex replied to lnm98's topic in Let's Talk About Sex
It's her decision, but I'll add a personal anecdote: My mother suffered from cold sores from her 3rd birthday to the year after she gave birth to me. As far back as I remember, I've never seen her or any of her paramours (ex-husband, fiance, etc) with any sort of viral outbreak. I, OTOH, developed cold sores during my (very, very) virginal high school years. They went away after I began to have sex on a regular basis. Adding an extra ball of confusion to the pinball machine: when tested (through blood) for all STDs, the woman who devirginized me and my former fiance both tested negative for herpes (for clarification, I was engaged to both of them and I lived in a state in which disease screening for engaged couples was "encouraged") Bottom line: Herpes does not have to equal the death of swinging. I wouldn't suggest that she jump headfirst into the lifestyle with sores raised, but that type of infection soon sorts itself out, and a few changes in diet and increased exercise does wonders for suppression rates. Plus, of course, there's always Acyclovir/Valacyclovir.- 14 replies
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What if he has a much larger penis than me?
Mr.Essex replied to tmayou's topic in Look and Feel Your Best!
If a larger than average penis was a woman's sole requirement in a man, then a microphallus would measure 8" x 6". Instead, microphalluses are always under the 2" mark and men are still being born and reaching physical maturity with penises that barely measure 5" on a good day with maximum stimulation. Bottom line, if you're insistent on entering the swinging lifestyle, you'll eventually meet a man who dwarfs you in cock size. Hell, I'm well-endowed enough that 9 times out of 10 I'm the biggest guy in the room, yet that 1 time out of 10 has occurred enough that I don't sweat the measurement. Believe me: you haven't truly entered into the swinging lifestyle until you've found yourself at a party or in a club surrounded by gossiping women who "accidentally" peeked in the shower and saw "Big Bad John". Allowing that fear to derail your desire is senseless to the extreme, and (unless you're literally under the 3" mark) your size is sufficient to satisfy any woman who crosses your path. And if you are under the 3" mark, there's always room for happyfunsquirt time! Bring a woman or 5 to a squirting orgasm and they'll line up for a chance to taste your teeny weeny. Hell, you'll probably make yourself the most popular guy in the club! -
Elderly couple wants to get into swinging
Mr.Essex replied to sirlancelot's topic in Curious About Swinging?
70 isn't that old. tongue in cheekLast year, I was evilly seduced by an older woman who refused to tell me her age until I satisfied her depraved lusts. As I lay gasping beside her, drained from our earlier activity, she told me that she was 82 years old and said that I was the best partner who she'd had that year.tongue removed from cheek In all seriousness, I thought that she was about 60 years old and I still let her lead me into a bedroom for playtime, so (if you're fit enough to keep up the pace) I don't see any reason why you'd let your age stop you from entering the lifestyle. Like the old saying goes, "You're as young as the people you feel."- 33 replies
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There's an old saying, "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush". Right now, you're the lucky owner of a "bird" in each hand, why risk losing both "birds" to chase after another one? Invest in some Jergen's and some "serviettes", and bide your time until your training is finished.
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Our 1st FMF threesome..what was yours like?
Mr.Essex replied to Paul&Audrey's topic in First Swinging Experiences
I'm not a fan. It's strenuous as hell, doubly so if your women are unwilling to help each other out or "your woman" has issues with allowing herself/yourself to interact with the new lady.