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sexychoclit

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About sexychoclit

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  • Relationship Status
    Single Female
  • Location
    South Carolina

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  1. I wouldn't want to sleep with a bisexual or gay man, however I love to watch gay porn. Especially if two hot guys are going at it.
  2. You and your husband are the only ones who know if you are ready for this type of experience. If you are not comfortable with yourself then it will be harder for you to find people to play with. If you are unable to hide your insecurity, people may think that you are only at the club (house party, etc.) because you are forced by your husband. If you are going to be there, then be there. If you begin to feel uncomfortable, then you should leave. You will find people who are very willing to break you in. Just take your time, be careful, and go at your own pace. Others have been very honest when they talk about the different body types you will encounter in the lifestyle. Its been my experience that there are more attractive women in the lifestyle then what there are men. Single females are hard to find. There are more than enough single men. Good luck, but most of all have fun.
  3. I would hope that a man could tell. If he doesn't notice the difference between when his wife smells like sex vs. when she doesn't smell like sex, then there is a problem. Actually, that could be kind of gross. and
  4. Yeah, I am a little bit confused. Are you married to the man who is 18 yrs older then you, or the man that you are seeing on the side. Also, if the man who you call your "hubby" isn't legally your "hubby", then I would think about leaving him to pursue something with your man on the side. It sound to me like you are sexually frustrated with your "hubby" and you enjoy sex with the other man more. Not coming home?, not an option for most couples that I know. You need to decide what is more important to you and what will make you happy. Just don't leave your "hubby" hanging on if your heart isn't in it.
  5. I have told people who are close to me and my family knows. It's not easy but I find that most people don't talk about it. One of my male friends ask me if I am still dating the couple and my best friend and sister-in-law ask about them, but they have met them so they are considered part of the family. I don't know if I would've come out on national television. I saw the episode of "Oprah" and found that it didn't show the real side of lifestyle couples. There was only one woman who I found attractive and I do believe that she was a preacher. I think that the episode made swingers look like a bunch of desperate people who can't get laid any other way. I don't even think they had any single females on there (can't remember that part anyway). If you live in a large city then you don't have to worry about it. My only issue is that at my last job a woman was fired after she came out and said she was a swinger. Jobs are too hard to come by these days. If you own your own business and make enough to support yourself then it may not matter. But for most people, coming out would be a big deal and until people at large become more comfortable with swingers there could be a price to pay to come out. Also, what happens to the children (under 18) of people who come out to their community? I would think that they suffer in some kind of way. Kids can be cruel and so the children should be protected. If I were a parent I don't think that I would be so quick to reveal what goes on behind my closed doors.
  6. Just be patient with your husband. Most men will not admit to having sexual fantasies about another man. I love to watch gay porn and I have told the male half of the couple that I date that I would love to watch him be with another man. I don't think that I would want to watch him have sex with another man, but the thought of him receiving oral makes me hot. I don't know if he will ever do it and I don't know if I will look at him differently if he does. I guess we will have to wait and see. I guess you should know that you could be "freaked out" if your husband is with another man. But if you open the can of worms then you have to be sure that you are going to be o.k. with it in the end. You can't say "it's o.k. for you to do this" and then turn around and say "I can't believe you did that". Just be careful, be sure and have fun.
  7. "Mosmis84", the first thing that you should realize is "pussy rules the world". Having said that it sounds from your posting that you may be a little bit gun shy. The couples that are sitting on the walls could be doing it because they just want to watch, but I would bet that they are scoping people out just like you are. If you are going to the club alone, find a nice spot where you can sit and watch everyone that is coming into the club. If you find a couple that peaks your interest find a way to be where they are (without stalking of course). Walk by, catch there eye. Nod hello, smile, make eye contact. If they seem agreeable, go and start a conversation. It sounds like you are uncomfortable about your size. Just think "classy not trashy". I love women of all sizes, shapes and colors, but if they are dressed in something that makes them look dirty or cheap, it is an immediate turn-off for me. When I started in the lifestyle I did a lot of research on the internet to find sites such as this one to ask questions and find out what was really going on in the lifestyle. I also signed up for web sites to help me find couples & single females (I know, there aren't many of us out there). For me it was easier to chat with people online, talk to them on the phone (husband & wife) and then meet them in a casual & safe atmosphere such as a restaurant. It was clear in my personal ad that I didn't play on a first meet. It doesn't mean that the desire wouldn't be there, but it took a lot of pressure off of me as a single person meeting two strangers. I can say that the couples that I went through these steps with, I did meet later and had wonderful sexual experiences with them. I say all of this to suggest that maybe you should try another avenue of meeting people. If you chat on IM and then speak via phone & have an evening of dinner or drinks and you are feeling them, then you can either decide to go to a club & finish the evening off there or meet them there at a later date. It's bringing sand to the beach, but that might be better than not getting any sand at all.
  8. O.K. I am going to take a lot of heat for this one and I am prepared to take it. Unless you have a husband who only wants to play with couples that you both are into sexually you will be "taking one for the team" a lot in the lifestyle. Sorry to say it but I think this is one of the biggest complaints for women in the lifestyle. It is harder for a woman to find a man who rocks their world than it is for a man to find a woman who he can get his rocks off with. I believe (and yes I will get a lot of hate mail) that men are not hardwired to be with just one woman. For most of them NEW pussy is GOOD pussy. That is not the same for women. We like to get our groove on, but if you aren't hitting that spot then it is over for us. I think that the big issue is why a man would put his wife through such a bad experience over and over again just because he is having fun? What would your husband say if while he was the other mans wife you went and found yourself a single stud and went to town with him? What if he didn't have anyone else to get with and he had to sit and watch you enjoy the stallion? If he were to be put in that situation then maybe he wouldn't be so quick to make you ride the donkey again. Yet again, another one of the many blessings of being a single female. I can get with a couple & if either one of them doesn't do it for me then I can truly just be "friends" with them or I can walk away from them totally. Oh what a life.........style. Now bring it on.
  9. I have seen this happen to a couple that I love. Be it a man or a woman what she is doing is wrong and the way that your partner is responding to it is even more wrong. Remember, the contract is between you and him. She is not going to respect what you guys have unless he points her in that direction. Also, he should make sure that you are o.k. with things before he proceeds any further. Right now the "she is treating me like a god" side of your partner is kicking in. If she wants to be treated like a slut then put on your pimp suit and give her what she wants. Maybe she will realize that you are not the person to be messed with. If she still hangs around then pack his s&*^ up and send him over to her place to live.
  10. I can understand where you are coming from. I was distant from my family when I first started in the lifestyle. My family knew that I was traveling a lot to hang out with my new "friends" and when I came out to them that I was in the lifestyle they were very angry. They always felt that I might be a lesbian (which I'm not, I'm bisexual), but they were upset that I wasn't honest with them about what I was doing. Next, they were upset because of the time that I was spending with my friends. I can definitely understand that because technically I did lie to them, but the way I see it is (1) I'm a grown adult and it's really not any of there business and (2) what if the lifestyle thing is just a phase? Why reveal something so personal if it something that was going to come and go. Well, I've been doing this off and on for going on four years now and for those people who are close to me and are in my circle, I have no problem with telling them. There was a time when gays and lesbians faced ridicule because of their choices. Give it some time and you will find more people being honest and open about what they do in the privacy of their bedroom, or a hotel room, or a club. With shows like "Swingtown", being in the lifestyle will be looked at as just another sexual preference.
  11. I think that an open marriage is more "don't ask, don't tell". Swinging is when the couples choose to allow other sexual partners into their lives. How they choose to do it could be by playing together, playing separately, watching while the other one plays, etc. However, they still have the consent of the other person. A person going outside of their relationship without the other partners knowledge and lies about it if they are confronted is just plain cheating.
  12. As a single female, I am more often the guest star, however I find that most women in the lifestyle aren't really bi & that is frustrating because I wind up being with the male more than the female. I prefer to have equal time with both and love it when they focus their attention on me, but I really want everyone to be pleased.
  13. The first time I was with a couple it felt great until a few days later. I felt so guilty. I felt like I had entered a couples marital bed (even though we weren't at their house) and I felt awful. I was only with them for one weekend and I dropped out of the lifestyle for about a month or so. After thinking about it, I realized that they weren't the best couple for me and I moved onto another and that "relationship" lasted over 2 years. I think as a female, because we tend to be more emotional when it comes to sex that it is normal to feel guilty. However, it sounds like you are ready and willing to experience more, so I say go for it.
  14. As a single female I am the aggressor. However, during play I prefer the other couple to be the aggressors, once we have gotten to know one another pretty well and feel safe with that.
  15. I think it depends on the context in which the statement was written. In my profile it states that I prefer to play with couples who do not have children at home. Not to say that I wouldn't play with them if they have children, however if they do, I would never want to meet the children and would not want to play while the children are in the home. It may sound selfish, however, I don't have any children and my expectations are to be with a couple who is as flexible with their schedule as I am with mine. With children at home, the parents have a lot to work around and a person like myself has to be understanding about cancelled play dates. Not that people without children never cancel but they normally have more options of when they can play, travel, etc. And lets face it, some kids are just brats and for someone who doesn't spend a lot of time around kids, that can be a real turn-off. Now, some people list children in their dislikes right along with potty games and anal. I think that means they don't want to wind up with some twisted pervert who may be into activities involving minors.
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