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In case you have not already, check out the film: “Hope Springs”. It has Meryl Streep, Tommy Lee Jones, and Steve Carell. Many marriages likely have this film to thank for in seriously spicing their sexy talk up. If you want to take it to the next level, Google a TED Talk entitled “Monogamish: The new rules of marriage”. Although it is still about monogamous relationships, it develops fantasizing with your partners about others. That is why I mostly lurk about here. The stuff swingers take for granted are hot fantasies in my book. Yeah, I am monogamous. So posters, please do not spare us the details! We are living vicariously through you here. ;-) Looking at the menu does not imply you are going to break your diet. You get to make the rules. For example, as they say in swinging, only go as fast as the slowest partner. In terms of decisions in the heat of passion, my thought is they are the equivalent of promises made under duress. For example, if a client tells seasoned strippers while getting lap dances that he will buy them each a house, I doubt many will run out to hire a mover. Similarly, couples do not usually propose to major commitments during sex. And anything said in the intoxicating heat of passion should be double-checked during a sexually-sober time. Thanks for the refreshing perspective.

I understand, I'm not into stranger sex at all. But I do like being "used," the one chosen over two other women in our family to simply satisfy a man's desire for an orgasm and ejaculation. This usually happens as a morning quickie. The best times for me are when I'm pulled aside by one, then the other, solely for their sexual release. It's very flattering and satisfying for me, even though the reason may be that Clair and Lora are not readily accessible. Genuine lovemaking comes later. BTW, I also sometimes desire aggressive Lesbian sex. Anyone else?

I like to take complete control, or conversely just lay there and let the other person take all the control or do all the work). Another way to say this is let the hornier partner take the lead and keep the less horny from getting in the way. When I am in control, I fantasize about being with a younger, sexier, inexperienced partner. When I give up control, I fantasize about being with an older, more stable, experienced partner. I will start this next paragraph by saying no one should ever be raped, period. Nevertheless, under consensual mutually-satisfying relationships, some people enjoy talking up a rape fantasy or may even partake in some progression as part of role play. This is where one-way rough sex comes up. One person just taking the other. Or one person is just being taken by the other. My paragraph above fits two moderate aspects of this. And I will warn that this often requires the role play “aggressor” to ask “are you ok?” once in a while. This is because the game can sweep things up and be so safe yet intoxicating that the recipient can sound like they are being hurt even when they are experiencing pure sexual satisfaction and nothing else. Which brings me to the point of why do rape fantasies exist? There may be 50 answers to that. They may span from mundane laziness (have the other person do all the work), to the indulging vanity of validating your desirability, to not having to be responsible for the hot sex if coming from a conservative upbringing. You can add bondage to further spice up the last one. Heck, bondage and a pre-agreed safe-word can go far here. I would like to hear from others for other reasons why having an aggressive partner would turn them on?

I really love aggressive sex where I feel taken and used, by my loving husband that is! (Have not had a swing experience..) But I also understand struggle between the allure and the reality with a stranger. It sounds like you're not sure you'll be completely comfortable with the couple, especially enough to open yourself up to being vulnerable. I would be open with everyone about your concerns but also how bad you want aggression, ask to start slow and build in intensity. You'll be able to give cues that you want it or need to slow it down and it won't come as a shock either way to anyone in the moment. One thing I love about aggressive sex is feeling "disrespected" but knowing fully that I'm not and very much in charge. I think that's where we get the ecstacy from. 😃 I, too, get caught up in thinking everyone is far ahead of me sexually, physically or in a different pleasure gear. The truth is we can all switch it up, and enjoy it! Good luck!

Poor Things with Emma Stone Worried adds excitement to the unknown every time we meet anyone new. We are still getting used to initial flutters, our first time having sex, just getting naked took time adding to the excitement. I figure most people looking on a swingers site are more hardcore, we are still newbies, our first was only months ago. I want restrained aggressiveness, not painful, pleasurably aggressive. We are married six years with half during the pandemic, plenty of role play. We had many laughs about the Amazon delivery knew about packages. My husband can be aggressive sexually and very satisfying in a predictable way. That sounds bad, it’s not. He is also an avid gym goer who looks at asses on the elliptical and enjoys telling me about it. He also tells me about some real gym rats that would “fuck me good”. We are open about wants and sexy talk, he knows because I told him about my feelings with the few we met. The excitement of newness and the unknown. FaceTime with the woman has gotten me even more wanting to meet. I think she won’t be afraid that something extra I want. Please have the reality meet the anticipation.

I think one of the perks of the Lifestyle is the freedom to experiment with people and situations outside your norm. Be adventurous. Push your boundaries. Usually you find there was nothing to be afraid of. Was the movie "Poor Things"?

I don't have any suggestions other than getting a golf cart and pimping it out with loofahs, pineapples, flamingos, and every other swinger symbol, and drive around in it daily. Extra points if you add pink fringe to the roof.