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I am the one always giving advice that is outside the box, and I will do it again. Since you're already living apart, take a break from each other and stop trying to be glued together. Date other people, have sex with them, and check in with each other at coffee and lunch to discuss your lives and how it's going. Not all marriages are meant to last, and sometimes are better if they morph into some other type of relationship. You're already partially apart, so take a break, explore, reevaluate, talk about it as friends (or even FWB), then decide what to do.

Don't worry, it will burn itself out. There hasn't been much discussion of it lately here, but new relationship energy (NRE) is common. It flames fast and hot, then dies quickly. You're not wrong, he's wrong. The approach I suggest is to tell him that it's ok for him to have feelings for the other woman, it's natural and you respect him for being more than a sexual animal with her. BUT, the rules of the game are that he needs to share his feeling for her with you and show you everything. It's part of what makes swinging and your marriage special. And from what you imagine in your mind that they are saying, tell him that you think that it is hot. Then when he does share, be gentle and don't criticize him. Kiss him, tell him that you understand and love him, because in doing what he is doing, he doesn't love you any less; by understanding and letting him continue, he will love you more. Also, be extraordinarily nice to her.

Our every thought, our every word, our every deed, tells the world who we are. People will, and should judge us based upon this, as we form conclusions of them based upon the same. Some are surprised when that happens; they shouldn't be. Per the OP; disrespectful language seems to flow from disrespectful mouths in our experience. We are in agreement with you - their words tell the world who they are.

couplers is spot on. There was a lady that I was full blown in love with. If disease hadn't taken her I still would be. My wife and her husband were in the know and very supportive. It is an interesting dynamic when you have two couples each as protective of the others marriage as their own. My wife still dates him, and we are close friends.

No, you are absolutely not wrong. I would STRONGLY advise you stop playing with the other couple, or anyone else for that matter, until the two of you figure out your trust and communication issues.

There's a saying about swinging that applies here: Swinging is a magnifying glass. What it finds, it magnifies. If there's deep love and closeness, it amplifies that. If it finds problems, it will make them worse. Your marriage seems like a volcano that occasionally goes off. I wouldn't throw swinging into it, as it will, in my opinion, make it worse.

Can we offer this please Seanandem. You are seeing this from the other side. Your attempt is to make the LS fit your relationship/situation. This may be problematic as the LifeStyle has its own rules/norms etc that are largely inviolate. Until you are ready and able to ride that horse, as it is, don't ride.

You're over thinking this. I prefer that a man finishes in my vagina, but if he ejaculates in my mouth I'll make a show of proudly rolling it around with my tongue for a few seconds (guys like that) then swallow. Taste is pretty much the same. Delay swallowing if another girl wants for us to pass and play with it. The End.

No you are not wrong! You should always be number one for him and you have the right to know everything when it comes to your swinging activities. Playing with this couple would end immediately if this shit was going on for us. If he has a problem with that then his priorities are no longer you and your relationship together.

I am a proponent of developing feelings. THIS situation is not being well handled. You are well within your bounds wanting to be inside the loop. Your husband is wrong keeping you out. The two of you need to get the transparency required fully functional.

No prude here either but I believe abundance of online porn and lack of 1:1 interaction during the pandemic is largely to blame. Isolation really killed lots of social skills for everyone. Very noticeable in our oldest child who spend junior and senior years at home. while at home lots of those same people were watching porn. No issue with that but if you are isolated and begin to believe that it’s real, that’s how people treat each other, that’s what women (or men) want then you are out of your fucking mind. it’s not a selling point who when someone approaches online and boasts about being dom and wanting someone to worship him or want to shame hubby as cuckold. What happened to people enjoying sex and playing with likeminded people? you don’t have to be a bitch, brat, cunt, whore, cumslut. I enjoy sex and people who treat me with respect. These should be separate and exclusive!

The fundamental key to a relationship is vulnerable, open and honest communication. Both parties need to be able to share, warts and all, and be received. Too many couples cannot do this without introducing sex with others. If you are unable to live together, I question being able to have sex with others. Before you engage in that, you need to settle your marriage one way or the other. That is more important than what a client of mine trmed "sport fucking". Just don't think you are there yet.

I could see swinging as a gasoline can for a couple that has relationship problems. Ditto on the therapist.

From all the research my wife and I have done I'd strongly suggest working on solidifying your relationship first. There's so much involved and invested in a sound and secure relationship before introducing another dimension into your already rocky situation. It's interesting that you've watched her give another guy a BJ. Was that while you were married? You may have found it "hot," but what were the circumstances surrounding it?

I am sexually bi-sexual but have no desire for an emotional connection with a man. I deeply enjoy the deep emotional connection I experience with my wife but have no desire or inclination to seek such a connection with another man or woman, and should she pass before me I will probably connect with another woman.