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The O'Conner experience is not unusual in extended care facilities. My ex wife is an RN who worked over nights in one of those places in the early 90's. They had to count noses several times a night to make sure patients were in their own rooms. Both men and women would wander off end end up in someone else's bed, often naked. At the time I thought "ewwww" but as I've gotten older, I now lean towards, "good for them" with a smile. Of course that presupposes that both parties are capable of giving consent.

That's not gay, that's just being polite.

That is my recollection as well. It does make me realize that our need for sex is part of our need for love and companionship.

As a male, it's extremely hard to argue against two women who both want to suck my cock. That's not how you spend most of your time in a real FMF, though. I have no complaints about any of it, but there's a lot of work involved keeping both entertained and running warm unless they're both bisexual enough to help with each other. MFM isn't just easier to find a partner for, it's easier to perform in a way that leaves everyone thoroughly "done".

"Ah, there's a fine line between Saturday night and Sunday morning . . ." - Jummy Buffet, Fruitcaes

Yes, that is true and supposed to be . thank you

Would think swinging Evangelicals but vaguely remember a sting about it being okay to sin on Saturday as long as you were in church on Sunday...

I agree. Considering my wife needed to to even consider sleeping with another man showed me she was more than content with me. Especially since we were and still do have sex all the time. Now that she enjoys other men, it does not mean she's not satisfied with me... just that she also enjoys other men.

I would like to try DP. I almost tried DVP. I was “in” a friend, another man asked if we wanted to try DVP. I got so turned on by the idea that I came immediately.

I followed this story contemporaneously, and my recollection is that O’Connor’s husband was in the middle stage of dementia and that O’Connor was in fact supportive of her husband’s relationship with his fellow resident.

That's another good approach. My wife, however, has no interest in anal sex at all, so we do oral and vaginal. It's all down to what works best for your group.

Please save your psychoanalysis for someone else. And rest assured that, were I talking about you (and my post did not indicate that I was talking about you- a conclusion that you've jumped to, I guess), I know enough about you to know that I would never want to seek an invitation. To return to the point, and the question of the OP: I, and many of my friends, like single male swingers who go against the stereotype of single guys, who are respectful and courteous, who are three-dimensional people who are interesting and interested, who think of themselves as more than appliances, and who are capable of becoming good friends. Those are the single male swingers to seek out. It's worth sorting through the rest to get to those people!

I do not think any thought police have checked in here! I support your right to post your opinion, just as I expect you support my right to disagree with your opinion and explain why I disagree with it. I'm not asking for sugar coated answers. I just think that people in the lifestyle should be treated with respect. In my particular case, I would not be inclined to spend time with a couple who did not have basic respect for me as a whole person, who thought of me as a piece of equipment. Others' opinions vary!

I have to say that that is not a very respectful way of thinking about single men. Now, I realize that many single guys have failed to earn respect, by being themselves disrespectful and inconsiderate. But not all guys are like that. Some are actual three-dimensional people, who treat the women and couples with consideration and sensitivity, and are interested in the friendship as well as the play. Those people deserve to be treated as more than a piece of anatomy, just as women deserve to be treated like more than sex objects by single guys. I feel that a core concept of swinging is the aspect of allowing sex without the romantic emotional attachment, non-monogamous fun sex. According to that concept, lots of people are swingers, including single and solo men and women who are not swapping a significant other. It may not be your cup of tea, but I see no reason to try to exclude them from the ranks of swingers.

Interesting this topic came up. As some of you read in my introduction, I am now a single M.Male back in the lifestyle with my wife's permission. When my wife and I swung several years back we started out with couples. I soon realized that the sight of my wife with another guy distracted my focus from the attention I needed to direct to his wife. It wasn't because I was uncomfortable with my wife screwing another guy, on the contrary, it was because watching my wife with another man seemed to turn me on even more that having another woman. Don't get me wrong, I did encounter wives that I was VERY attracted to and things worked great. BUT, I wanted to see my wife screwing another guy so much that we found MFM situations were actually the best sex for both my wife and I. I never knew I had a cuck side until we got into the lifestyle. Now that I recently got back into the lifestyle as a single M.Male my focus has changed. What I want now is to be that "other" guy for men who love the same thing I did and as a side benefit to explore my bi side. I am not after his wife, honestly, I truly want to see both of these people have great orgasms and I prefer they orgasm before I do because that is how my mind works best. Kind of my reward to myself for doing a good job I guess.

My wife and I have no interest in the MFM thing but she does like men, single or attached. I always feel uncomfortable about answering on behalf of my wife, but it is apparent to me in a big way that to her a man is not a piece of meat. If a man is not able to achieve a ceribral seduction, he is going to have to seduce some other woman.

I am just under 7 inches and average girth. Never had a complaint and suits my wife just fine even tho it is a little too long for her. I cannot usually pound deep as it hurts her. We hooked up with a couple one time and the guy was so thick I gasped, "Honey I don't think you can do that!" She whimpered back, "But I really want to!" And she did! Most women I talk to prefer thickness over length every time. Regardless, if a man doesn't know what he is doing size and/or thickness mean absolutely nothing.

Personally although we are not swinging yet, I have some very serious issues to deal with. He is the more adventurous of the two of us. I was angry, hurt, and very very confused when he suggested swinging. It was kind of like... I love you so much, I am going to fuck this other woman just to prove it to you. Yeah right, in divorce court you will. However...I did get to thinking. I have never seen people having sex. It seems like such a PRIVATE thing, such an intimate thing, and to be doing this with someone that you love, but to be looking at them ON THE NEXT BED, with someone that you barely know? I thought he had gone insane. Then....I continued to think, that perhaps I wasn't all that he needed in the world. It sounds offensive to say that he wanted and needed new pussy, when he wanted to be WITH ME? Talk about some angry reactions, but if I understand it correctly, this CAN bring about some very close and personal interpersonal reactions about someone that you love and care about. That is what is important to me. I am not real crazy about the process of being close to him over another woman's body, but I think that it just might be possible. I don't know how I will react to seeing him being sexual, another woman bringing him pleasure without me freaking out, but I am going to try to make a friend of this woman. I am going to try to make sure that she has as much as I do to lose, and that she is going to entrust her husband, someone she loves, to ME! I am going to be very careful to earn her trust. To know that I AM NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING that is going to damage her relationship with her husband, and to hope that she has the same considerations as I do. Yes...It's difficult to imagine that he wants someone other than me (at least once in a while), and that he still loves and wants to stay with me, but I can't pretend to understand other than the variety that he needs or wants can't be done so in a very safe and protected environment, and hopefully, one that I can share in! I am not saying that this is going to be easy, I don't think that it should or could be, regardless of what or how other people manage their relationships, but for ME, the important thing is to provide to the extent that I am able, an interaction with another human being, (unless she is a real pig, or has absolutely no moral standards, then she would most likely NEVER GET INTO MY BED), knowing that he loves me, and we can do this in a way that can lead to our relationship being enhanced, not undermined because she simply is willing to a sexual interlude, or because he wants to have someone other than me. I hope this helps. It has helped me kind of sort things out, except when he is "in lust" with someone. I am still working on not feeling inadequate, but I trust that because I love him, I will (and so will he) make the right decisions for us.