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...So me and my guy finally went to a club together. My first time at a club, but not his, though he hasnt been in involved in the LS in years. We went to The Velvet Curtain in Dallas, attending the New Years Eve Bash they were having. We didn't play with anyone or even play while there at all. We did watch a little in a public play area and that was hot. I loved the way everyone seemed so nice.. It was a great time, even though we didn't really find anyone to play with, I had a blast. And now I feel much more comfortable going to other clubs and trying other things. We are new to this...so I feel this first step was a total success... Thanks for reading.

Nothing to say right now, as we taking very small steps, or we can say we take one step forward and two steps back, but i don't want to push more, it will come by time

We certainly will! Thanks again for the advice. We need to add some photos already! lol

I’ll start by saying I’m the wife in the scenario. I’m excited to try again, we already have a much better idea of how to go about things for our next outing. One were he can enjoy himself too. I was telling English if you were ever in the area you would be fun to get to know you two. Lol!

Participated in my first one a couple weeks ago . Dvp that is . It wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be .a lot Of fun lol.

Sometimes people, both men and women, come on here and you can tell they're getting dragged along for a ride they didn't really want to go on and they don't know how to stop it. ...which, learning to communicate and set boundaries is part of marriage, whether it's about divvying up yard work or having a threesome with your wife's sister. I think it was totally reasonable for Jane to ask. Her reply that there is no "normal" is the same thing I was going to post, because everybody has their own checklist of kinks and insecurities to address. Sometimes things happen and you genuinely wonder, "why does THAT turn me on", it's you and won't always be for everybody else. You just seem like you're in a little bit of distress and got upset when Jane pressed the issue, which really makes it sound like she hit too close to home. It's hard for us to tell if you're getting off on what sounds like cuckold play or resenting it. To be more specific about your question, if it helps you, we have two couples that we play with fairly often. One are old friends of hers who she had fallen out of touch with. The wife invited us when she figured out we were toying with it. They trust each other and we keep communication between the same genders - usually the two of them find out we have a good opportunity to meet, then I and the other husband talk and figure out logistics. The other is a couple we met through them and she and the wife became good friends, as well. They text a lot, and get physical when we play. Again, she doesn't call or message the husband separately, and we think that's the best way to avoid jeopardizing those friendships or anybody saying anything stupid. Neither live near us. Since we started, we've had a situation pop up where we are spending some time apart. We know ourselves well enough to realize it might be difficult, so we had some honest conversations. Some things are inconsequential, can be done separately, and don't need to be discussed in advance. Intercourse does. Seeing someone a second time does. We can both say "no". No sleepovers, no intercourse without a condom, nothing within 100 miles of the house, and nobody who is in touch with people we know professionally or socially. This could all be summed up "we're both horny, physical people who like to go out and have fun, let's not get mad if somebody cums, but keep it away from our vanilla life". We have no male friends we would play with locally. It would be a terrible idea that could really destabilize our lives if somebody went popping off their mouth about it. The situation that you're describing would really go downhill fast for us, and she wouldn't do it in the first place because it'd really be at odds with the way she wants to be seen.

I dated a woman physicist in college. She was a great sex partner and we did some swapping with other couples. But she wouldn't engage in an FFM or MMF. It puzzled me until I realized that it was because physicists couldn't deal with the three body problem.

Don't tell my mother that I'm a physicist; she thinks I'm the piano player at Schrödinger's cat house.

I won’t say I have a fetish for a small penis. I do enjoy the variation of different men. The anatomy of a penis. Mike and I enjoy when I find a stranger having no idea what the surprise or prize will be. I think my fetish is the unveiling when I meet a man. Opening his pants and finding what is in his underwear. Most men will already be fully aroused by then. Some will need coaxing. Some men will show and I do have wow moments. Some will look smaller and grow. The men who are very small when soft know they are not huge. Getting a small one to grow is exciting. It’s easy to get the whole thing in my mouth and feel it grow. A small one will triple or quadruple in size while a large one sometimes doesn’t get much bigger.

I gotta tell you that your emotions are valid. Your feelings aren't out of line based on what you experienced. That being said, you do not have to feel that way if you don't want to. I'm not saying there's a switch you can flip or anything, but you sound a bit wounded. And if you want to and take steps to do so, you can heal. Step 1: trust your wife. She's been by your side for 30 years. That means something and if she says you make her happy and you say she is your rock, believe here and count yourself lucky. Not every one has that. Continue to trust her and believe her when she tells you how she feels. Step 2: Find yourself a quality counselor you can trust. You deserve to be happy, and a counselor can help you see things in a healthy light. Step 3: Start small and make some changes for a healthier physical you. I'm a stranger and I'm no body shamer. But, what you said seems to indicate that you are not satisfied with how you look and feel physically. Look at your diet. Consult with a doctor to develop a fitness plan. You don't need to look like you did 20 years ago, but you should be able to live your life feeling strong and alert and alive and happy and healthy. Do it for you. Not your wife, not that couple you mentioned, not anybody but you. Step 4: Try to give yourself a break. You come off as a pretty decent guy with a good heart and a great wife. If that other couple did reject you, so be it. It says more about them than you. Maybe it was because of your shape or they weren't feeling the chemistry or who knows what. It doesn't have to matter. You control you, and you control your present. You can't control them or the past. Step 5: Go to Desire Pearl. That place is awesome and we saw every shape and size there - all accepted and appreciated. You got this, bud. You're gonna be just fine.

At every party, club, or resort we have ever been to, the other people there were wonderfully accepting of our limits. No one gets upset if you don't want to do certain things. It's about having fun, connecting, being comfortable. My wife and I are soft swingers, which for us means we do lots of fun stuff with other people, but not intercourse. And we are always together. We have never felt like we weren't welcome or accepted by people who weren't into what we were into. I can almost guarantee that wherever you end up, the people in the lifestyle will treat you and your wife with respect and you will experience zero pressure.