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If vaginal sex is painful, what about oral, anal or manual sex? You guys need to talk.

Keep talking with her and really establish the trust and openness that comes from great communication. Maybe once she sees that you are real about this she will accept it as something that is okay...or maybe she won't. Either way, honor her wishes and if she says no, then leave it at that.

Good post Sean. I understand your situation. Even though all systems are go, there is something holding you back. My suggestion is to go to a bar, have her sit alone where you can observe from a distance. Analyze your feelings as she is approached. How does it affect you to see her smiling into another man's eyes? If all you feel is pride and a tightening in your belt, you are probably ready. If you are uncomfortable in any way, you are not ready. As ready as you feel, these feelings are a warning, best to heed imo. We were kinda in your situation and I bailed on opportunities for some reason. Then we had an event that could have ripped our marriage apart and she stuck it out with me. That gesture showed me her true colors. Up to that point, I assumed she would be leaving me at any time now. I didn't realize that she really does love me, which is what I needed to be able to accept her doing this. We were tested when a male lover fell in love with J and felt she should leave me. He is really rich, really good looking, huge dick backed up with years of talent. Overall, a much better match for J than me. I barely flinched when she told me this. I was mostly bummed because we wouldn't be seeing him any more, he was a lot of fun lol. Last piece of advise, looking for a bi man. Be ready to meet guys that are all bisexual until the time comes and you can barely pull him off your wife. Look through the posts here on how to find a reliable bisexual man, it only sounds easy. Good luck!

Welcome Funcouple. I think it was a good idea to come here and post this prior to doing it. Usually, when it comes to swinging, or any kind of planned extramarital sex, the decision is left to the wife. With guys, it's easy to think we can jump in and go crazy. Married women, being asked to have sex with strangers, may need to process it a lot more. They also may process it and decide to not do it, as it may jeopardize another aspect of their lives. Women will look at the big picture more, where we just look at the surface pleasure. If she is saying no, please honor that. You can bring it up with her, and she may eventually go along, but manipulating a situation rarely works and is kinda underhanded. Keep in mind that sexual equality rarely exists in a marriage. There is almost always one that is more into sex than the other. Experience tells me that trying to bring the lagging person up to a more sexual level is frustrating at best.

I don't think the rest of the LGTG is a lifestyle. I suspect a gay man and a lesbian woman, for example, would say they are attracted to those of the same sex. I don't think that would be considered a lifestyle. I certainly would say I'm a heterosexual first and I dabble with those of the same sex. I see that more of a lifestyle than not. I chose to play with both sexes, but at the end of the day, I'm heterosexual. I could also see a lesbian woman, who may also play with men defining herself as homosexual and yet enjoys playing with men on occasion. I guess it's about degrees. Who would you be with if you had to choose. A person of the opposite sex or a person of the same sex. Then a second tier might be, would you play with the opposite as a lifestyle choice. I guess a true bi-sexual wouldn't distinguish between either.

Better find your gear then Bacon... they’re gonna be pretty good this next year. Mark my words... 9-3 or 10-2

Ok, that's kind of what I though your response would be. Just wanted you to identify it a little better. You have to understand that we all have an instinct of self preservation in the face of danger either real or perceived. In some circles(mainly high stress, ie soldiers, first responders)it's taught as the three Fs Fight, Flight or Freeze. In a traumatic situation we WILL do one of those three things to prevent physical harm to ourselves. Cops, for instance are trained to overcome the urge to run away and the ability to keep from freezing up. They aren't paid to run away or freeze. "Scared shitless" is another term describing it and it's what you've described as an "oh shit" feeling. On a more generalized level this instinct is what tells us it's not a good idea to jump out of an airplane even with a parachute or to rappel off of a cliff even with a rope capable of holding several times our weight. There is a nagging voice that is saying "what if". If you want to do those things you have to find a way to overcome that self preservation instinct. That is generally called courage. Sticking a hypodermic needle into your leg for an intramuscular injection takes a great deal of courage, far more so than doing it to someone else or letting someone do it to you. What I described is physical self preservation but the same goes for emotional self preservation. Your fear is most likely tied to emotionally guarding your relationship. The "oh shit" feeling is coming from your fear of something going wrong that might damage or ruin your relationship. Right now, it sounds like you aren't really sure if that fear is real or perceived and that would come from a place of insecurity in your relationship most likely. You love the thought of seeing her with another man but you know the reality may bring consequences you aren't prepared for(can't take it back). You are protecting yourself emotionally and you are protecting your relationship. Nothing wrong with that at all but if you want to get to sexual non-monogamy you are going to have to be sure of your relationship and find the courage to take the step. Only you will know when that is right. My advice is to get more secure in the relationship by taking baby steps and getting used to one thing at a time. You say you have good communication, you should be able to talk about what concerns you have and she should be able to understand them and move at your pace. I'll tell you from first hand experience, having jumped from a plane and rappelled off of a cliff there is a great satisfaction in being able to summon the courage to overcome the fear. The adrenaline rush and subsequent perma-grin for a week after having done it is evidence not to mention the enduring self confidence boost. Same thing goes with sharing my wife with another man only it's just way hotter. Understand also that some people just can't take that step. The fear is too great and they can't overcome it. That's OK. If it's something you won't ever be willing to risk she should love you every bit as much for that. Good luck!

What kind of details are you looking for? We’ve been once.

To me, this is a ridiculous stance. Insert any other hobby into the OP's sentence. Shooting, baking, motorcycling, running, golfing, needlepoint, etc. No matter how much I love you, if you don't take up golf - we are done. Any ultimatum like that before a relationship has even gotten off the ground - ditch him. Now, if he had said I have been golfing for the past 25 years. It's a costly hobby that takes a lot of time and requires an ugly wardrobe but I enjoy it. I hope you know it's an important part of my life that I intend to continue. Maybe one day you'll even join me... Very different conversation.