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Swinging will magnify any problems a relationship has. If you have a great relationship, it can make it just that much better, but if there are any flaws or cracks, it will make them bigger. Swinging almost never will fix a relationship that has problems. We would not recommend this as a solution.

Take care. Swing is not therapy. If there are problems in a relationship, swing will amplify them. I'm curious to know. For what reason did you use the word "prude" to describe your wife. The rest of what you say about her does not suggest prudishness.

My girlfriend and I like watching each other playing with the opposite sex and also with the same sex. Girls eating each others pussy and the guys sucking each others cocks. We also like sharing a guy's cock between us. I love it when she puts a guys hard-on in my mouth or I get to lick her pussy as she is being penetrated. I enjoy being a "fluffer" when he pulls out from between her legs, allowing me to lick her juices off his dick. Then I get to grab his hard-on and place its flared slippery head back at the entrance to her love canal, crawl back under them as they are enjoying each other on all fours and lick his shaft and balls as he is thrusting back and forth fucking her. My favorite position is laying underneath them in a 69 position, her sucking my cock as I am looking up watching her getting fucked, hoping he will pull out every now and then, letting his cock drop down to my waiting mouth. After a while of me orally pleasuring him, I again grab hold of his member and place it back in her pussy so he can finish giving her the creampie that drips his spent load from her sloppy wet kitty lips, all over my face.

My wife and I got into the lifestyle recently, about last six months. We did a ton of research. Actually, this forum helped to answer many questions we had before we ultimately decided to jump in. Jump in we did. We made a couple of profiles on free sites, and began talking to some couples online. At first, we really didn't know what we wanted, other than to spice up our sex lives. The first couple we spoke with, in hindsight, was pretty aggressive. I won't go into details, but we ended up hooking up with them on a first date after a few weeks of very flirtatious chatting. They ended up being a little too different from us. After a couple of other dates with different couples, we realized that we were looking for friends with benefits. I mean, we're not club people, and sex parties never sounded appealing to us, but we still wanted to bang other couples together! The only other couple we've hooked up with since we got into the lifestyle, seem to be what we were looking for. We made a good first impression, and on the second date, we made it to the bedroom with them. It started a little rough, and not in a good way. I had some performance issues the first time with her, but those have since been resolved. We chat with them on a regular basis(several days per week), and we've seen them several times since our first vanilla meeting. My wife and I, are looking forward to continuing to build our relationship with these two. They are good people, and I'm happy to call them friends. Friends that have a good time together on a king size bed, banging each other's spouses! All that said, I don't know how big of a part we will play in this couple's lives, but we're going to ride the wave till the end. Why not, it'll be fun while it lasts!

This is a hobby for us...sometimes life gets in the way and we don't have the time or motivation to pursue a hobby, and THAT'S OKAY. Sometimes you have to start over, sometimes a couple seems perfect but you later find out they aren't, sometimes not everyone 'clicks', sometimes other couples have problems that take them away for awhile...or forever. Just keep moving forward since it is only a hobby. My SO is the most important thing in my life and my first goal is to make sure she is happy. You can always come back, just do what you need to do to make sure that your home life is where it needs to be. This is a hobby and is never going to be more important than she is to me.

For us it was just a progression of games and play that lead us to That point. Before it happened though it was discussed various times privately and socially with the other couple to ensure everyone was onboard 100%. Didn’t happen overnight for us, no doubt. It was important to ensure everyone was truly prepared to take that step. Since then it’s been amazing and all the work to prepare paid off big time.

Swinging with friends can be the absolute best sex. But be ready to get along without them. People, even really good people, can do awful things. The feeling you have after a meeting right now, is not the feeling you will have in 6 months. But there may be room for NEW feelings, unexplored feelings. anyhoo, just a warning but for now, have fun!

UPDATE our friends invited us to the beach today. We went and had a great time! Our initial plan was to go to the nude beach but it was completely taken over by stupid zebra muscles, those cock blockers. So we went and just had a normal beach day, hanging out in the sun. When it was time to go we said our good byes and parted ways. Halfway home Ms sent us a picture of her playing with her pussy. I was driving and got so excited! We were kind of bummed out about not being able to get naked. When we got back to the city they sent us a text saying come over! By this time they had sent us multiple pictures of them playing. My husband and I were going crazy. We were so excited when they invited us over. Mr answered the door with no pants on and the biggest boner, it was so fucking hot. These are good friends that we’ve known forever and I feel like we may have something really awesome on our hands. We didn’t swap, but we did lots of oral and it was soo much fun. We’re going to their cabin next weekend and I could not be more excited!!

If you are not having fun, take a break. Swinging is a competitive sport. You win some , lose some. If it is getting to you and not fun, don’t do it.

You can never be 100% sure someone is safe. Even with recent test results it may be too early for something to show up or have had exposure since. Even with safe sex there is risk. That is something you both have to accept.

Yes, as often as possible. It did evolve over time. Since my friend worked nights and my wife was not working, the two of them had more opportunities to hook up during the day when none of our kids were home. I really found it exciting. Since his wife and I worked during the day and had kids around the rest of the time, we didn't get together that much. His wife also had other playmates she was more interested in. With everyone's knowledge it transformed into mostly threesomes with him, my wife, and me. The couple eventually switched partners permanently with another couple we knew. Everyone knew we were playing with him. A few years ago his second wife unexpectedly died and we became very close to him. We even became a non exclusive poly triad with him. A year ago he started getting close to a woman he had known when he young. She is married and her husband seems to be fine with it. They live across the country, and she has come back to visit and play with him several times. She knows my wife and I were playing with him and said she was fine with it. We've met her and she does seem nice but we stopped playing with him because we felt there was too much of a chance for drama that we didn't want to be a part of. Another part of the reason was our age. We are in our 70s and have all the aches and pains that come with age. He's about 13 years younger than me. We are still friends with him and even with his ex wife. Looking back, we have no regrets and know that what we have done has enriched our lives.

Thanks for all the sagely advice. So far, our requests for Video Chat have been met with excuses ( I was out studying late last night, didn't get home to late; My phone didn't notify me you were online). At this point, we are of the unified agreement ( the wife and I) that if Video Chat DOESN'T happen by Weds., we are going to break all communication and chalk her up to being a flake. She has no problem answering one off "Good Mornings" or " Good Evenings" but ignores the "Hey, there you are, let's video chat NOW" posts right after. Our search as always continues. We just joined SLS and SDC, so here's to continued hope...

When we got into swinging, we were in our early 50s. The people we played with were usually within ten years of us. But there were exceptions. We never particularly worried about it. I understand that a younger couple may not want to play with people significantly older than they are; in my opinion, it's their loss. While an older couple may seem less 'hot', they've usually got a lot more experience, they can show somebody a great time between the sheets.

All of us in our poly family have trimmed pubic hair and prefer it that way on ourselves and the others.

We have remarked previously that kids construct their reality based on what they see in their parents' behaviors. We have never hesitated to hug and kiss in the presence of our daughter. Casual nudity in our home was and remains the norm. She was told that mom and dad needed private time, and that was the only time our bedroom door was locked. She always had age appropriate information on sex. We told her that when she was ready, we preferred that she have sex under our roof where she--and not the boy--was in control of the situation. When we went on our first clothing-optional vacation, we told her. When we started having adults over for pool parties (we made sure she had friends to stay with that evening), she didn't take long to figure it out. Nor did it particularly phase her. Why? Because what matters to her is that we are her parents, we are still together, we are still in love. In an era of broken families, blended families, single parent families, second and third marriages, step-whatevers, we have been constants and we have been her parents. She is bi-situational, yet she is somewhat prudish. She does not want our lifestyle at this point--she wants a romantic marriage-- yet she wants our happiness.

My profile says something along the lines of we're happily married and seek the same in friends and playmates. But the happiness is what we focus on. We certainly aren't expecting people to show us a marriage certificate, so I guess it doesnt really matter. We have backed out from couple's, married and dating who we could tell one of them really wasn't feeling it. For the first time ever for us, we're meeting a couple next weekend with a whole bunch of other 'firsts'- they're close to our age, only engaged. It will simply depend on their relationship and our connection!

In public, my wife wore what was normal for her. She had a job in a school district, discretion was necessary. If we were out of town, yeah, she'd dress a bit more sexily. We both enjoyed her getting checked out.

Update: We are still with this couple, and we have fallen for them! It seems this sort of thing is rare! It's been a wild ride to this point, and we did hit a little bump in the road, but it's all good now. Next up is a trip to the mountains in Colorado!

Wear easy access clothing, maybe a skirt and a button down blouse, no bra and once everyone has had an adult beverage or two to relax make sure a couple of buttons are undone. Go sit next to the other husband, turn towards him, lean forward a little, look him in the eye with a sexy smile and whisper, "this isn't going to unbeaten itself big guy". If that doesn't get the party started, there won't BE a party!

I've never been the one to even think about swinging until my wife and i started talking about 3 and 4 somes. I never felt secure enough to even bring up the thought with ex's.But we talked about it and she said if she ever wanted to bang someone else it'd be my buddy who had a rep for being a good lay. Anyways, we went to a childhood friend's house for a party one Friday night and it went pretty normal she talked with the girls and I went to play beer pong with some friends. As the night went on, my buddy called me over. I went over behind the bar where he and my gf were tending bar with his hand on her waist playing with her thong and his growing erection. He then blurts out "Dude your gf is so hot I'd totally fuck her." (remember him and i have been friends since pre school). I replied back yeah i see that. And point down. Our friends laugh and continue on. I then walked outside and started chatting with some buddies who were smoking. Shortly after my tipsy but still coherent friend walk out sitting next to me, turns and asks if i would be okay with him banging my girlfriend. I looked at my girlfriend and asked her if she was interested in fucking him since i remember her saying he's the one she would try it with. She said she would as long as i was also going to participate. We proceed to go to his bedroom where it was agreed they would start with each other and i would watch and eventually join. They started off making out his hands running over her butt and up to her boobs (36ddd) pulling her shirt up over her head. She then felt his cock that was rock hard at this point. Unbuckling his belt and undoing the button letting his pants fall revealing his rock hard cock. "Should i suck it?" she says as she pulls down his boxers and caresses him in her hands stroking up and down his shaft. At this point i feel my dick getting hard, so i pull it out and start playing with it. She then sits on the bed where shes dick high and starts teasing the tip of his cock with her tongue.I hear him lightly sigh as she wraps her lips around his shaft and begins to blow him. He then pulls his dick out of her mouth stands her up unhooking her bra and removing her tight jeans and thong exposing her soaking wet pussy.She slides up the bed looking at me noticing me stroking. "You like what you see baby? Ready to watch another man fuck me good?" "Yeah baby." I reply, she smiles looks at my buddy and tells him to fuck her brains out as she spreads her legs waiting for him to enter her clean shaven pussy. He turns to me"Dude shes a freak!" he then proceeds to slide his cock between her pussy lips getting his dick wet. He slowly slides his dick into her as she softly moans to his cock entering her. He gradually picks up speed and her moaning gets louder and louder as he thrusts deep into her. "Oh my god (friend) your cock feels amazing.Don't stop!" he starts thrusting deep hearing his boys pelvis slap against her. "Fuck your pussy feels so good! He replies. He begins to thrust harder and faster into her as she climaxes then orgasms all over his cock.She pulls his cock out and tells him to lay down shes going to ride him like a bull. She then climbs on top and puts a condom on him. She then slides down him, putting his hands on her boobs as she gyrates on his dick. "You going to cum in my tight pussy baby?" as she begins to fuck him. "I'm going to cum in that pussy." "Mmmmmm cum in me right now gimme that seed" she begins screaming his name as he buries his cock in her. "Oh fuck (girlfriend) I'm cumming I'm cumming!" i see him pump deep into her. At this point I've shot my load, and she climbs off of him pulling the condom off his cock. "Well that was fun!" she says as they get dressed. We then head back downstairs and continue to party. It was pretty awesome.

Hello first let me start by saying that we are new to the boards here. My husband and I are also new to the LS. We have had an experience that I am not sure was a good one. I am going to try and really give the short version here. I also hope that I am posting this in the right spot. So, my husband and I really just started out looking at all this as a type of fantasy. We would talk about different scenarios and sexual situations and get ourselves worked up and have some really hot sex. I asked my husband if he would like to be with another woman and he said yes. Let me explain. I am a BBW and my husband is HWP. I have been a BBW since the birth of our son 26 years ago. My husband and I have been together 27 years. I was actually asking him if he would like to have sex with a woman that was thin as he had never been with a thin woman. I felt really bad that I had kept myself overweight and wanted him to experience what it would be like with a thin woman. Well we actually met a couple at the first house party we went too. They were actually the hosts of the party. We just talked with them and everyone there played some games. Now before we went to this party my husband and I set up rules. Our rules were no kissing, and no sex as this was just we are going to watch and see how we feel about this type of situation Which was to watch them have sex. The other couple there were looking for the same just to watch. Well as the night progressed we thought nothing was going to happen and were deciding whether or not to leave. Well before we got to that point the hosts asked if we would like to dance. So, my husband was dancing with his girlfriend and I was dancing with the boyfriend. (They weren’t married.) The other couple were sitting the couch watching everything as the man in that couple was getting a BJ from his wife. As I was dancing with the boyfriend he kept trying to kiss me but I would not let him. My back turned toward my husband so I did not see what they were doing until I got turned around in the dance and there was my husband over there kissing this woman and he had her tit out and was playing with that and then he moved to suck her nipple. The expression on my face must have been priceless as the boyfriend quickly turned me away from them so I could not see them again. Nope that was not going to work. I turned back around and I heard the guy on the couch from the other couple say damn lets finally get this party started. My husband had picked the woman up and he was still playing with her tits. He must have seen my face as he put her down and came over to me and asked if I was okay. I replied with yes. It was because I at the moment wasn’t sure how I felt seeing that. My husband decided it was time for us to go. He said something was going to go down if we did not leave right now. We left. We also talked about what had happened all night and all the next day. I told him that the boyfriend kept trying to kiss me but I didn’t let him because we had made that rule. I then asked him why he broke the rule and kissed her. He just told me it was like he lost his head in the moment. The woman had whispered in his ear that she wanted to fuck him and he told her I want to fuck you too. I didn’t realize that when we were at the party and I told my husband shouldn’t you have come over to me and told me something like that. Anyway, we decided then that kissing was okay as it didn’t bother me like I thought it would, but I told my husband that what ever rules we make from now on he had to follow them period. Now the hosts of the party invited us over to their house again for dinner and we went over and had a nice dinner and we all chatted about what we would like to see happen. Like I said my husband and I only wanted to watch them have sex and we told them that. So that is what happened that time. We watched them have sex and it was freaking hot. They kept saying we could have sex in the bed next to them if we wanted but we didn’t feel comfortable with that at all so we didn’t. The next time we went over we had come up with some rules as my husband said if they invite us to have sex in the bed I want to do it he said. I said okay. So, other words we would all be with our own partners. This also was a big step for me as being a BBW it is not easy showing my body. I have had 2 c-sections etc. We also said if they wanted my husband to have sex with the woman he would just take and slide his dick into her just once and pull out. If I didn’t like it he would stop and if I was okay with it I would tell him to keep going. This was because I wasn’t sure how I would feel watching him with another woman. Here is what happened. They decided to have us get in the shower with them. My husband was kissing and feeling up the other woman and I was kissing and feeling up the boyfriend etc. When we got out of the shower we dried off and we all got into the bed. My husband and I were with each other and they were together. This was just fine with me, until the boyfriend asks my husband if he would like to lick the other woman’s pussy. He asked me if it was okay and I said yes. It was hot. Then when he was getting ready to come back to me the boyfriend asked do you want to fuck her. My husband looked at me and said yes but I have to have my wife’s permission. I said do the dip first as we discussed. He slowly slid his cock into her and then out and waited to see what I would say. I said damn that is hot so yes you can proceed. They had sex as me and the boyfriend watched them. The boyfriend did not do anything with me at this time. My husband and I once again went home had hot passionate sex and talked and talked about what had happened. Wow! My husband and the boyfriend kept talking about fantasies that they each had that they would like to do. So, this was fantasies that my husband and I wanted to do together and the boyfriend and his woman had fantasies they would like to do. My husband and I talked about what we would like to see happen the next time we went over. I told him I was okay with pretty much anything as long as he did not cum in the other woman as I felt like that was way too much of an intimate thing and I wanted that to stay just between us. Here is what happened. We were all in the bed together and my hubby kept trying to be with me but the boyfriend would say to my husband hey why don’t you fuck her (his girlfriend) this way so my husband would go over and do her doggy, and there were other positions as well. I was not getting any attention at all from the boyfriend. He kept watching them do different positions etc. So, while they were all having fun and taking turns having sex with her I just sat and watched. I was very disappointed as this was the second time the boyfriend did not touch me or play with me. When we went home that night I told my husband that I was angry because I got left out and every time my husband tried to be with me they would pull him away so that he would be doing something else with the woman. My husband talked to the boyfriend and just asked up front why he wasn’t doing anything with me. He asked the boyfriend if it was because of my weight and he said no it was because his girlfriend said he couldn’t play. We were both like okay so where did this leave all of us. We had a decision to make. Well like a moth drawn to the flame we went over again and we were hoping that the woman would let the boyfriend play. Well she let me give him a BJ so my husband and I were like okay she is opening up more, and we still only had the one rule no cum in the other woman. Well when we proceeded to the bed that night we were all naked in bed. My hubby was with me and the boyfriend was with his woman. No sooner then my husband had penetrated me the boyfriend says we have a fantasy that we would like to try if it is okay with the both of you. He proceeded to tell us that they wanted my husband to cum in her so that the boyfriend could then have sex with her right after so he could play in my husbands cum. My stomach fell out I think. I said no I don’t like that idea. They were like okay and dropped it. They again pulled my husband away from me and he had sex with the woman while the boyfriend and I just watched. As they were having sex the woman kept saying cum in me and the boyfriend was like yeah cum in her and I was like no, but then my husband looked at me and asked if he could do it as he was close. This was also a fantasy that we had where we wanted to have another guy cum in me and then my husband would have sex with me right after. So, we told them we had that fantasy too. So, the boyfriend was like well you cum in her and then we will do your wife next. My husband and I thought hey the woman was going to finally let her boyfriend play as she was agreeing to it. Even though I did not want my husband to do it I told him it was okay and so he did. When he pulled out and I saw his cum oozing from her pussy I got sick and left the room and went and got dressed. My husband came out of the room to find me and we heard and saw the other couple having sex. I told my hubby that I did not like that and it made me sick and I wanted to go home. We let them finish and then told them we were going to go. So once again I did not get to play or experience any kind of fantasies. We went over again and at this point I told my hubby please just stay with me and let them be with each other. He said okay. The boyfriend said his woman still did not want him to play. We were respectable and said that is cool. So, we told them that we would like to just be with our own partners tonight if we decided to do anything. They were like okay. Once again, we were all in the bed and we were with our own partners when the boyfriend started talking about dp and dv’s. The woman was like I don’t think I can handle 2 dicks at the same time, but the boyfriend was like yes you can we will take it slow. My husband asked me could he have sex with her and I was like yes but do not cum in her. When he started having sex with her I was totally freaking out inside this time. I was so worried he was going to cum in her. If I thought he was getting close I would make him withdraw from her. Well what happened this time is the woman got on top of my husband and the boyfriend got behind her and they were trying to do a double vagina on her. No one even asked they were just trying to do it. The boyfriend would get it started but my hubby kept going soft. He said it was very weird having another guys dick touching his. Well there is another fantasy that we would have liked to have done together and here he was doing it with this other woman and her boyfriend. I was pissed. I told my husband we are not going to do anything with them anymore. Not only did he get to experience what it was like to have sex with someone thin, but I didn’t get to experience anything with another man, and I had to watch him and this other couple fulfill some of the same fantasies we had he did them with them and that was wrong. He got to experience what it was like to fuck another woman after another guy came in her as the boyfriend had cum in her so my husband has sex with her right after. He came in here and the boyfriend got to play in my husband’s cum. He got to try a DV with them, and the worst part I told him was when he would use me to get his dick hard and then go and have sex with her. He told me he was very sorry and was just so caught up in the moment. I was like no excuses we always talked after each and every time we had an encounter with them so he knew where I stood. How would he like it if I was the one having sex with another guy and he had to just sit and watch and didn’t get to do anything? He thought about that and saw where I was coming from. We stopped playing with them. We did find another couple that was full swap and I got to be with another man, and my husband was with his wife. It was same room. It wasn’t really as thrilling as I thought it would be and we have not done anything in over a year. We have just recently been talking about trying it again with a full swap couple. I just feel so jaded at the moment about what went down before which is probably our fault anyway as we knew she would not let her boyfriend play although he would tell my hubby that she was going to let him do it this time etc. The one time she did say it was okay, he went to have sex with me and then he just stopped and said I can’t do this. Well my husband said the woman was giving the boyfriend these dirty looks. So, he just didn’t even try. That is why we stopped as they kept leading us on. I am still not even sure why they didn’t just pick a male to come over and play with them, why did they pick us and then only played with my hubby and not me. Sorry for such a long post.

This relationship with this couple is growing into something quite amazing. We've spent time with them every weekend since the first weekend we met them. It's become so much more than swinging, and all four of us are completely on the same page!

This couple didn't end up working out with us. We found a new couple not long after I posted this thread. They are amazing people, and it's turned into so much more than swinging. We met them for the first time, alittle over a month ago, and connected with then instantly. It's been intense! We've spent time with them every weekend since we started chatting, and even took a roadtrip to Galveston last weekend. We were sure we wanted friends with benefits, but we've all come to the conclusion that this is a poly relationship. It's not what we were looking for, but it's what we found, and it's wonderful!

Congratulations! You have clearly described a common pathway in the LS. From the outside looking in (aka vanillas, interesteds, just about to dip the toe, breathless reporters,.. )the LS is all about sex. That's what is talked about, envied, disparaged, ... From the inside looking out, the LS is all about your primary relationship with your spouse or S/O, and how that journey unfolds. For a few in the LS, it really is "all about sex". For many others, it is about building relationships with like-minded couples. The friendship piece really does matter. Trust, intimacy, honesty in a space where no one is embarrassed to be having fun\. Compare that to the issues of ordinary life.