Leaderboard

Perhaps there is a misunderstanding red adding my original post...we haven't participated in any play since this incident. And we won't until we can both agree we are good to go. There is no pressure from either of us to rush it. To be fair, we HAVE already had several experiences...this issue just came regarding this newest couple. But you are correct...there are many different ways to dabble in the lifestyle. It's whatever works for the two of you. I just found the thought that I could enjoy it and that could affect his respect of me interesting. Shows we have a way to go!

In the LS, I have been fortunate to never be with a woman that had any kind of disagreeable smell down there. Little bit different stories in my single days, I did come across a couple that kinda made me cut the licking short. Of course diet can have a huge effect on the smell also. I found when I was in the navy that Asian women sometimes had an odor somewhat distinctive to what they ate. Not necessarily bad, but definitely different.

First of all, just because you have all connected very quickly doesn't mean a thing...it's called new relationship energy (NRE) and most couples AND singles experience it. It isn't until the bloom starts to come off of the rose that you start really 'seeing' things with clear eyes. Don't be sucked in and assume too much at this time. Take it slow and easy, make sure that your (and their) current relationships come first and foremost. Sure, spend time together and have fun, but make sure that this second relationship is...well, secondary. Only time will allow everyone to really see through the image everyone portrays and allow you to see the 'real person' inside. There is no reason to rush into this, you have the rest of your lives, literally. So who am I saying this? Well, we have been 'dating' another couple for...7, almost 8 years. We have talked about what would happen if one of us were to die, how the remaining couple would that them in and 'take care' of them. We have even imagined about the possibility of all of us moving in with each other...but we have kept it just at the talking stage for the time being. We always have a great time together, but we try hard to keep our primary relationship primary. At this time, the 'risk' is still not worth the reward and while we can get together however often as we want, we can all still go home with our SO and be able to have our private space. Maybe someday we will move towards more, but right now we would rather have a great primary relationship along with a great secondary relationship and not risk rocking this boat. It ain't broke... A better question to ask is why do you want to move into this type of relationship so quickly? Is there something 'wrong' with your current relationship (cuz this won't fix that)? Think about singles who move too quickly when they first meet and how more often than not those relationships don't work out either. Take some time, enjoy what you have, and there will always be the opportunity for more in the future. There's no reason to rush into anything as rushing (IMHO) all too often is what causes these types of relationships to fail. Enjoy what you have and let tomorrow bring what it will...tomorrow. I know, not what you were looking for, but we hope it helps somewhat.

Hello everyone, my husband and I have talked for years about bringing a second man into the bedroom so that we can have the experience of this MFM fantasy. We’ve never worked up the courage to try, but the kids are grown and out of the house and we’ve decided it’s time to open that door again. In the past I’ve stated that it would have to be a stranger, but as I’ve gotten older, this makes me uncomfortable. It is a very small gene pool in our area, and everyone seems to have huge mouths! I couldn’t trust a local in this. We have a long time acquaintance/friend of over 10 years, who I would consider to ask for this. In all fairness, he is very close friends with mutual friends of ours, and this makes both of us a little nervous as we don’t want to disrupt the friendships. That being said, I have developed a friendship with him a bit more than husband has over these years by being more involved with activities of the group of friends than husband has been. As husband doesn’t know him personally too well, and so doesn’t trust him, he does not want him to be involved. I do believe, if this were to happen, he would be discreet, although I do think that a few of the group already recognize the flirting, but with discretion, the rest could be kept quiet. It was about a year ago that, out of nowhere, that we started up with some subtle, friendly flirting back and forth. He lives several hours away and only comes to our area 4-5 times a year, so all that has happened is just that, a little flirting. (I would never cheat on Husband! Never have, never will!) The flirting has gotten stronger over the year, but I’ve compartmentalized this in my head-it’s just fantasy. I might like to see this become a “friends with benefits” situation in the future if it feels right. My heart is straight, I love my husband more than I could ever say, and I know, for me, this would just be sex. I told husband about this fantasy about 10 weeks ago and he was understandably upset. He is worried because he see’s the flirting and recently, more obvious actions and comments that indicate that this friend is into me too. Husband is worried that he is falling for me, or already has. I don’t think this is the case, he has been in a 20+ year marriage himself, although I don’t know much more than that. I’ve been told that his wife is not too supportive of him (this info comes from the mutual friends, not him). Husband stated he would consider this man if he was able to form a friendship with him & learn to trust him, but rescinds that frequently, not only because of the friend being who he is, but because of husband’s religious upbringing and other factors of his upbringing; there are things he needs to work through for himself before we did anything with anyone. So, obviously we would not be extending an invitation the next time we see him. We have talked about “the long game”, where husband tries to get to know him over the course of the next year or so when he is in town. I understand his fear, but I think husband would feel this way about any man that was a possibility until he experiences it for the first time. Also, I thought it might be best to test the waters for an MFM with someone other than this man as a first experience, and since we will be traveling soon, I thought I would compromise and I suggested that we might just find a stranger in another state to invite in to make sure husband can handle seeing me do another man. Our communication is great and I know there is a way to figure this out. What do you all think? Am I crazy?

Hi all, My wife and I have been classifying ourselves as swingers for as long as we have been doing this (3 years now). We have had may amazing experiences and some not so much. One of the biggest issues is that 4 way connection. We found it in a couple that we are quite close to but we still see it as a "swinging" relationship, even though we adore them so much. At one point they entered into a poly relationship with a couple that lives in the same city as them and although kind of sad for our loss we were so happy for them. That relationship ended poorly for them and there was alot of hurt and a little strain on their marriage for a short time. Being involved in a large community I have seen numerous swingers travel the poly road and in many cases I have seen heartache, hurt and even marriages ending. In fact, I have yet to see a successful swinger -> Poly transition work out. Well, recently my wife and I met a couple we connect with like mad. I'm talking crazy connection. Lots of amazing sex, amazing friendships, communication and similar goals and values. I've never seen a man please my wife the way he does and I've never been so comfortable with another woman as I am with her (besides my wife of course). All of this is just so incredible we are talking about labeling it. We talk about the future and we have booked a family vacation with them in March. We are all very excited.....BUT, with the numerous failures I have seen for friends and acquaintances it gives me pause. I fear that it is destined for failure. Worse than than I fear a strain on our marriage as feeling develop. Not for any specific reason other than what I have witnessed. What I am asking is for people to weigh in on their stories. Stories of successes, failures and how to navigate through both keeping our relationship as the priority and without damaging it. Another note to help get you in my head. My wife and I are childhood sweethearts. Been together since we were 14. We had only been with each other up until 3 years ago and certainly have never fallen in love with anyone other than each other. Our marriage is strong, we communicate and still have so much passion for each other. We have gone through issues since swinging but nothing that we have not been able to resolve easily. We are aware of the intense NRE involved here and keep ourselves in check but we are excited to see where this goes. I just don't want to end up being hurt or hurting anyone else involved.

It's a little hard to unravel this from a distance, but you mention the "lady in the street, freak in the sheets" thing. It's valid. There's a lot of cultural baggage about women enjoying sex. Our situation was the other way around, in that she had reservations and I was pretty open about it, which maybe isn't as helpful here since the gender roles aren't interchangeable. However, what helped a little bit, I think, was being able to get conversation about sex separate from talk about the relationship. Sex is what bodies are for, and it's not easy to disentangle that from a bunch of other issues, but at a basic level people have been getting off for fun from the beginning and it's normal to thrive on a little novelty. It doesn't have to "leave" anybody else anywhere. Getting past the idea that there's something morally wrong with casual sex in the first place was a big hurdle, and then she wasn't convinced until we'd actually done soft swap (oral) that we had the general idea "right" and we could do full swap without reservation and get off on each other getting off. "What if my spouse likes sex with other people" assumes that there's some reason to think sex with everybody else automatically became unenjoyable when we got married. Most orgasms aren't about romantic love and don't need to be (although the ones that are certainly great).

Good question! I believe it's about me enjoying another man...now I am going to ask him and see! But some of it was about me enjoying a woman as well...he's not one of those guys who enjoys girl on girl, so he sees that more as something he can't do for me and worries ( he knows unnecessarily...he has said so, but still) that if I really enjoy that part of it, where does that leave him?

The 'biggest deal' about the finding of the dead sea scrolls is that they had not undergone generations of being rewritten and therefore were missing the spelling mistakes and changes that took place later. I don't recall where the Bible says much about homosexuality. I had several friends (male and female) in high school who later 'came out' as gay (I went to a very strict christian high school) and while they were afraid of being condemned by the 'morally upright' members of the class, but there's just no ammunition (especially in the new testament). Roman bath houses were kind of known for the different 'pairings' that took place in them. If the Bible would have been written now, it would have been like condemning people for eating high fat/high sugar foods. With most people doing it, the book wouldn't have been very popular. Things that people 'think' are in the Bible, a great deal of the time just aren't there. Post your stories away. Lots of people who come here do it for the stories...

There was a church in our area that had a swinging scandal several years ago: seems that the pastor and several other members were using the baptismal (actually a hot tub) for 'extra curricular' activities. Didn't hear about the church until it was in the paper and thought that there was finally a church I could really get into only it was now out of business...

Wow! With the preacher and his wife! I need to find a church like yours! The people at my church are such prudes!

Lots of the guys here like to talk about how much they like watching their wife get fucked by another man, either in a threesome or swapping, but they like to see it. These guys give two reasons; they like to see their wife enjoying herself, and they like to watch the action themselves...it gets them hot knowing some other guy is doing his wife. Most of the other time it's the other way around for me. Sure, I like it that my wife is having a good time, we wouldn't do this otherwise, and it is hot watching her in action. For me though, it is way way hotter looking down and thinking, whoa, that's another man's wife that I AM fucking. When I blow my load in her that is what is in my mind, it's another man's wife taking it. I don't say anything to a wife, but seeing her wedding ring while fucking her gets me hot. The one where I really lost it though was when this couple we swapped with had just got engaged, and she only had an engagement ring. While we were screwing I saw the ring and stated thinking how I was fucking his girl he promised to marry, and although I usually have good control, I blew my load right then, way too early. Any other guys like this??

Question: is the issue that he is worried about the other man enjoying you, or about you enjoying another man?

Okay another update. After some discussions and more than a little confusion with someone or another being left out of the loop! This whole thing from start to now has been so much harder than we ever expected or imagined! lol There was a Skype chat, but mainly via the phone we've all arranged to meet up at a hotel not this weekend, but the next.......sort of an early valentines thing........as someone put it? So far everything and everyone seems fine, but we've made it clear that we're only committed to meeting at the moment and we'll see how it goes......although I think we're both on the same page regarding planning on getting involved, we're just keeping our options open as far as their all concerned. Our friends although initially concerned are absolutely fine about our decision to hold back with the guarantees. One of the other couples have already asked us to consider them on their own if we don't want to play with the others.....a little forward, but flattering I suppose? So it looks like we'll be having a get together with another 3 couples shortly! The nerves are already building!! lol

I think the notoriety of extramarital sex is what makes swinging hot, doing the forbidden and being married to a woman hot enough to be turned on by it, too.

My wife and I are completely new. It is for the reasons you stated above that we are going to take this ultra slow. The first step is just being around people having sex, adjacent to people having sex while we do (with each other) and some touching/feeling/caressing and potential toy play with another couple. I've learned a lot from this board, and one of the biggies is that swinging comes in all shapes, types, varieties, and flavors. We have even read of a couple going to Hedo that wants to do Chastity play while there. A couple people questioned why that at Hedonism 2 of all places, but they reminded them that they swing in a different way than others, but that it was still a valid way to swing. Reading that was when it dawned on me how many different ways to participate in the lifestyle there really are. If my wife and I only ever have intercourse with each other but touch, breast play, and play with toys with others and that is as far as it goes -- it will still be non-conventional and a flavor of the lifestyle. And it will be OK if that is as far as it goes! Don't feel pressure to go any farther! The universal truth is this: your marriage or relationship should be of the ultimate importance. If an activity is going to risk your marriage don't do it. Period. It will impact so many more people than just the two of you. A happy couple is more important than a couple willing to do a certain activity just because others are doing it. I'd rather be with a happy couple than a couple that is forcing and pressing the limits because of peer pressure. Wow! I surprised myself with this post since we haven't even been to Trapeze yet. That adventure starts in less than two weeks.

So when you say "I've never seen a man please my wife the way he does" does that also include yourself? I see and here this a lot - i still do not get it! Surly you know how to please your wife better then he can - you know after over 30 years together we can jump into bed ( ok we slide more then jump these days lol ) and she will say don't!! Which Means - "i know you can make me cum with in seconds and i do not want to yet" lol - if you do not know your wife's body that well then more practice is needed. And girls if your husbands don't know your body that well yet then for the love of sex show them!!! Back to the point NRE is what is going on and that's great - but let that be it, just like you i have never seen a swinger to poly work. Best of luck.

A cock in her cunt and one in her mouth

There's a lot of interesting stories here. As to my wife and I, I think that we've actually been discussing it in code for the better part of our marriage (so, close to 20 years). As to discussing the idea in less abstract terms, well... it all started with me asking my wife what her deepest darkest sexual fantasies were. Upon being asked about her fantasies my wife basically gave a very generic "romantic sex" answer, but then insinuated that there may be more things but she was too embarrassed. I like writing, so I decided to write erotic literature for her, mainly to open up a surrogate dialog and help her not feel embarrassed. Basically I tried to guess at what her fantasies were and and wrote sort of scattershot, refining the stories with each "review" my wife gave. It quickly became very apparent that she had exhibitionist fantasies that slanted heavily towards gang bangs, light humiliation, putting on a show, and sex with strangers in unconventional places. So for fun I decided to write her a sexual questionnaire with 60+ multiple-choice questions, and then set aside some time to have a very frank very open conversation regarding her turn-ons. After the dust settled and all the cards were on the table we both realized that she had a wild exhibitionist kink, and I had a pretty substantial voyeuristic fetish... It was like two pieces just went click. The linchpin to the conversation was one single moment, where she looked at me and said "you don't really want to watch a stranger slide his cock in me do you?" She said it with a sort of wide-eyed look that said, and with a vernacular that said, if you say yes I'm going to confess everything that has ever turned me on. There was a long pause, and I scooted in close to her and told her if it turned her on I would absolutely watch her do that. And we were off to the races, she basically had to steady herself on the furniture in order to regain composure and continue the conversation A few of her more prevalent fantasies, meaning ones that she had given serious consideration making a reality (i.e. talking to me about the possibility of making it happen) where the mfm threesome, a gang bang situation, putting on a show with observers present, and more than a passing curiosity at goings-on in sex clubs and swinger parties. I was both floored and not surprised at the same time. Not surprised as I knew she definitely had a kinky streak, especially the things that she would talk about when she had been drinking. But floored at her frank honesty regarding being curious at the possibility of making these things a reality. Her main fear was that I would be angry and judgmental, as I tend to be a little judgmental sometimes. Or that confessing any of this would drive us apart in any way, as all her fantasies revolved around US, rather than just her (she wanted me to be into it) I basically told her in no uncertain terms that the idea of winding her up and watching her go was a massive turn on, and nothing that she had said was either shocking or upsetting. This conversation stands as probably one of the most amazingly erotic events of my life. Oh, and hilariously, I ended up compiling all of the short stories into a series of small books and started selling them on Amazon. Which added a nice exhibitionist turn on for my wife because they were all about her. I'm not sure that there is anything better than finding out that your partner is as kinky as you.

Great sex with my partner is always just that... regardless of who else may be in the room, watching, or not. There is always that familiarity and fondness present. Involving other people in sex play opens up another whole realm of possibilities. But in the end, after the experience of the day (or weekend, etc.) is done, there is always that memory to draw on. Good or bad, it helps set the scale. Is every experience great? (Even just with my partner.) Not likely. But it can make a great story for later, one way or another. The first question I had in starting out in this thread was: "How well do you trust the couple setting this up?" ... And my thoughts were also echoed by the comment made about "how adventurous are you feeling"? An extreme personality clash could ruin the experience, we've all been there I'm sure, but how often does that happen, really? Like minds and personalities tend to attract. Is there some risk plunging into the unknown? You bet! The LS is a risky business, in many ways... but then again, so is driving to work every day. When I was 18 (I'm now 59) I met a couple that had a rather profound effect on my life. They were old enough to be my parents, but we interacted more like peers. It was different. (They were a "back to the land" hippie couple. I was working on their farm for a few weeks while I was traveling.) They introduced me to a lot of ideas that had a profound influence on my life to come. (In some cases they just watered seeds already planted, but you get the idea.) One conversation I recall to this day... Whatever it was, I made a comment along the lines of "not wanting to loose control" (of a situation)... to which they both blurted out, "Oh No! Sometimes you just gotta loose control!" ... I just looked at them with reserved caution. I was rather taken aback by their response. ... It would be a while before I really got what they were saying, but eventually I did. :-) As usual, especially with the LS, the quality of the return depends mostly on the degree of trust. Best of luck. Enjoy the moment.

We took the plunge into a sex club this past weekend. Like you, I was a bit reluctant. But it could not have been better. There for us was no swapping. We did not hesitate to take the plunge to making love in the play area. We loved it. It was an amazing positive experience for us. At the end of the evening (morning) we had made some contacts and have every intention of exploring further. But we did not swap or play with other couples. Was there some touching, some foreplay? Yes. But it was at our option. The club we attended (Twist in SF) was safe and everyone respectful of the rules. And our sex was off the charts. That said, spectators were around bit no one was groping, no one demanding sex. It was all up to us. We felt welcome. We fit in. Its all personal. Don't want to go beyond watching and having some sex with your SO in a semi-public venue? No problem. Baby steps, stop if its not fun. If you choose to give it a whirl and stand by your boundaries it can be an amazing experience. My 2 cents........................

I don't want to kik, talk on the phone, video chat, or exchange photos beyond what is in my and their profile. None of those things will let me know if there is an attraction, but 5 minutes over coffee will. So, I move quickly to an invitation to meet me for coffee. I'm not sure if I'm just lucky or if experience helps here, but only once have I had a meeting where I decided to decline the invitation to do more private things (and their profile was on the edge).

Don't push her...let her go at her own pace and if she never plays with a woman so be it.

Apparently, your wife is not interested in female on female. Okay, no LifeStyle law that says there has to be interest in that. Appreciate your wife's feelings, let her have the experiences she wants to have.

Agreed! And that's what we've been doing. I even posted a new thread about one of the interesting things that's come up in those discussions. It's all a learning experience and while we both want to continue on, we are both good with just taking it one step at a time. If it happen ( and I agree, it likely will, someday) it happens...if it doesn't that's ok too. As long as we are talking about how we feel, what's to lose?

I’m not sure that I understand the benefit of talking on the phone. I would rather meet in person and if it’s not clicking, make it a quick half hour and leave.

Well, in our case, it turns out it was because the lady of the couple was texting with me (we were looking forward to my first bi experience) and he felt like a third wheel. He recognizes he should have said so up front - there's that communication thing again - but when it came down to the wire he just wasn't up for it. I don't know where we are going to go from here. Remains to be seen. Unfortunately, there are no clubs closer than about 7 hours away, so makes it harder to make that our thing. Not to say we won't, but it's up in the air for now. While I'm really disappointed that we didn't get to try it, I of course respect his choice. Just wish he'd been up front from the start ( which I've told him).

Another thing - to be poly you have to not only be comfortable but actually feel good about your wife telling the other guy "I love you," and hearing the same thing back.

We have no interest in polyamory. We like the excitement of meeting a new couple and exploring sexually. But our relationship is primary. We like our friends and we see some couples periodically, but if we lost contact, we’re not crushed. We are doing this for fun and we are trying to avoid emotional connection.

Hello, Petra here again with the same old story and a few questions. Actually, I'm not sure even what "poly" is; is it just something sexual or must it be more? I have accepted the label for our group, or "family" as I like to call it - two guys, three women and five children (so far, probably two more before we quit) from various combinations among the guys and women. Our family was not the merger of couples, but the accretion of individuals over the years. If you want to read more, I joined the Swingersboard ten years ago and have documented over the years how it all evolved. (Short version: I broke up with my fiance but never stopped seeing him, met a guy who was OK with it and married him, I got over my jealousy and found women for hubby to date (and explored my lesbian side), two of the women joined us, and we bought a large house and had children. To me just because you like, have great sex with, and get along with another couple doesn't it poly, even if you're exclusive. It's a flavor of swinging. Poly requires that everyone in the group is equal and makes sacrifices for the others, and lives together. Here's my test: 1) Try a couples swap for a week; at the end does everyone feel good about it? 2) For a week live as an FMF, halfway through switching out the M; then live for a week as an MFM, switching out the F halfway. How do the dynamics work out? See how it feels when your wife is wanting him and you have to settle for sloppy seconds. See how the household works. 3) Are you willing to let your wife has his child? He let his wife have yours? 4) Most importantly, can you manage finances of this ménage à quatre? We've been there and done all that. It has many difficulties, but if you sacrifice to make it work it is worth it in every way.

Mr. NWlovin’ here. I would like to reach out to everyone here who has taken the time to read and post your thoughts on the matter. Your thoughts and words of wisdom has brought a lot of clarity to the Mrs and I in this matter. We’ve been reading the boards and learning a lot about this LS. We’re so glad that we found this forum, it’s a great community of people. So a great big Thank You for bringing clarity to this! I would first like to express that my initial concerns with the acquaintance still hold true today and will not change in the future after some recent reveals. I had reservations and a feeling in my gut about him from the beginning. He is a married man who I’m sure has a loving and caring wife at home who does not know of what started out as innocent flirting between Mrs.NWlovin’ and himself, and I suspect his wife would not agree to this LS. I was unaware of the flirting for sometime myself, I believe that his wife deserves the respect to know of this flirting, no matter what. Which I believe that he is responsible to communicate that in his marriage as we do ours. I also see in him something that could be seen as stronger feelings for my dear wife, (she is quite a catch you know). Either way, I firmly believe that he recently chose to behave in a way in front of myself and the Mrs that was crass and disrespectful, breaking the unspoken code of men. Innocent, friendly flirting is one thing, but you don’t, in a round about way, proposition another man’s wife. (Which Mrs. quickly put him in his place for). Also I strongly agree with the code of the community, no swinging with people you know or people who know of your friends and family. KEEP IT OUTSIDE! No need for a “head on” social collision. I have the most loving wife in the world by my side (“she’s the one and always will be”) and for myself and her the idea of a MFM is a total turn on for us. I have for many years thought this would be something I would want to experience. This is a hot fantasy for me and for her too and I know that I would love to show her off and see her being the center of attention. I’m also working on getting rid of some of those stigmas that the Mrs was explaining about earlier, it’s something I’m trying to shake off, and they are slipping away as the days go by. So in conclusion I just wanted to add a little of my thoughts to this and express my gratitude to the forum.

we have fallen "in like" with a couple or two over the years but I don't think we would be happy to find either or both of us falling "in love" with anyone. For us this is recreation and fun, we love one another, we have to like our playmates for it to work even once but deep and abiding love is what we DON'T share with anyone else.. Long term, we'd like to have a REALLY close relationship with another couple but that's not an easy thing to find. Even if we did that couple, Mrs Doc would draw a few lines, sharing bathrooms, bed hair and morning breath just wouldn't fly with her. In her mind the allure would disappear and the uniqueness of sharing orgasms with friends would become mundane. We're looking to accessorize our relationship, not complicate it or confuse it and I think if you start talking about love with another couple things begin to get blurry.

You must not be too experienced if this is the first time you had a problem like this. We have experienced on more than a few occasions where the man just couldn’t or did too fast. We have also met many inexperienced couples so it may happen more with us. My wife is pretty good at handling all scenarios. I understand it can be frustrating knowing that everyone else is having a good time. It would be easy to say your partner for the night didn’t do the right thing by going to sleep or not trying other ways to let you enjoy. You can’t control what he did. You could have taken control of what went next. You could have tried to awaken the dead. You could have lowered yourself over his mouth. Or you could have joined the fun in another room. You were put into a frustrating situation, there was no wrong way to go forward. You decided to live with it.

It's more important (to me at least) that the woman enjoys herself than I enjoy myself. Making sure that the woman has a great time is the easiest way to make sure that I have had a great time. Even if it was quick, there' s other ways to please a woman...

What bryonboru says is correct. If a guy ejaculates and decides the night is over, he is either insensitive or inexperienced. There are at least 999 different ways continuing after an orgasm.

In our opinion your new playmate was selfish. Sometimes the new guy has anxiety and can not get hard, other times they do not last long. Either way he should of continued the fun another and made sure you enjoyed yourself.

Thinking about this more, I'm thinking the same thing when I'm fucking the other guy's wife as when I see my wife enjoying another guy, this is a woman so sexxy that she need to get it from multiple guys. For me, I think that's the biggest part of it, that these are good women because they have a good attitude toward fucking multiple men.

The image that is burned into my memory forever is when his wife gripped the base of my cock with the hand she had her wedding ring on and sucked my cock while he watched.