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We are guilty of that, we try and gather as much information from the pictures and profile as we can and then we subconsciously have a very detailed idea of what this couple is like, hasn't worked out for us so far lol, definitely changing our thinking on this one and another reason we are leaning towards a club environment where we can talk to people we may have waved away online because their house wasn't tidy or some similar misdemeanor

I would also state again, that IF you can get your BF to discuss what happened, and If you are honest with him , as you have been honest with us posters, I think that you can definitely work this out. THEN, you can discus boundaries for your relationship. One thing I am constantly amazed by, are people who get into relationships and will discus every detail, from financial to child-bearing, to the color of paint on the walls, but never discus sexual issues, beforehand? That would seem to me to be a "no-brainer".

Lioness, you will recall that in one of my first posts, I said that your BF would have more of a problem with you having sex with the man, than he would with you having sex with the girl. This should clue you in to which issue is the more important. Your sex with the girl...or your cheating with another man. Those posters who are advising you to deceive you partner aren't doing you any favors, they are setting you up for serious relationship problems , in the future. Let me state again, in BOTH a vanilla or a swinger relationship, honesty is the ONLY way for that relationship to be a positive one. Nobody here can show that a relationship based on deception is , in any way , a good thing. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING, and don't let anyone tell you different.

Nobody should have to be applauded for being honest, and nobody should be surprised by people who view cheating as a deal breaker. If Lioness wanted to have a bisexual fling to satisfy her curiosity, then she should NOT be in an exclusive relationship , at the same time. If you are honest, then you don't have to end up like Lioness.

She admits she cheated. She never said she wouldn't care if it was just a guy. She said she never cheated before and if she had cheated with just a guy she would have not told her boyfriend. She knew that was wrong. I believe she would never had cheated with a guy but she succumbed to her curiosity with her friend, the guy was something that just happened. She admitted the girl sex on her own and didn't lie about the guy when asked. She didn't want to hurt her boyfriend. What happened wasn't planned. Her curiosity got the best of her.

Thank you for your apology and encouragement! Being in the beginning of this process is an experience itself and having everyone here for guidance and education is a privilege. Hopefully in the next couple months we will be able to share our stories like everyone else on here!!

I'm not saying you can't have your own view on this, we're all different, but I don't think this definition would fly outside of the swinging world, either. I'm absolutely certain that I've never been in a relationship where "sorry, it just suddenly happened and I feel really bad about it" would have gotten me off the hook.