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Well, we're back (and questioning why we allowed ourselves to leave). I will have a write up in the next few days, once I catch back up at work and with sleep. Short version: I really saw the improvements from when we were there two+ years ago. It was good then and got better. Still concerned about the HUGE resort being built next door (400 rooms+?). More to come...

Hey all-- We recently got back into the "swing" of things and, for us, hit it with a fury. While we didn't go to any clubs or parties we had a ton of one on one dates with other couples. We really hit it off with one couple and it appears an actual play date is in the works. As my wife and I discussed, just going through a numbers game really helped and in the end, stacked the odds in our favor. So assuming this second date actually pans out, this long winded thread may finally be coming to a close. It will have only taken us a couple of years but hey, the journey can oftentimes be as fun as the destination! MrMarvin

I've never had doubts of my sexuality. During an evening of swinging it was hard to avoid encountering semen somewhere. I just never worried about it. When I kissed my wife, I was more interested in expressing how much I loved her, not that she'd just swallowed another fellow's load. There is nothing I wouldn't give to be able to kiss her just one more time.

Being raised in a very religious family, I have done more than a little research on this topic. I couldn't understand why in the old testament men had multiple wives but it just stopped in the new testament with no explanation as to why. If you also really search the Bible, there is actually very little information regarding sex and what is and isn't 'allowed'. What are big issues now were almost overlooked in the Bible: homosexuality for instance is almost ignored in the Bible, yet the Romans openly allowed it. Over the years, depending on who was in charge and what their beliefs were, the Bible was 'edited' and spelling mistakes and/or translation issues have changed what the Bible said. While the Bible may have been from God, it hasn't remained untouched or unchanged by man. Here's something that I previously ran across and bookmarked regarding marriage and monogamy: Monogamy Isn't Biblical, It's Roman

Sure, I have done things with play partner that my wife has been reluctant to do. We have both done this from time to time. We think that is part of the beauty of swinging- the freedom to expand one's sexual boundaries, and have some adventures in sex that we have not tried before. And we both always tell each other what has gone on during play with another person. That's part of the continual renewal of trust that goes with the lifestyle for us. The act of giving each other a Full Report about our respective playtimes reinforces the fact that we have nothing to hide from each other. And not for nothing, but it also can be a big turn-on! We also have been known to pick up a tip or two about how to please each other from these Full Reports- if one of us has a particularly good experience, the other person may go back and talk with the play partner who provided that good experience to find out how they did it!

Yes, I have done things with swing partners I haven't done with my husband. This has happened in the same room or separate rooms. We are very easy going and go with the flow. I like to have fun and give 100%. An example would be swallowing someone's come. This has never happened with my husband. He knows it's happened with other people quite a few times, and it is fine. I also orgasmed through intercourse for the first time with someone else. That worked out super well, because now I'm able to do it with my husband also. So, I don't really hold back during swinging. The only thing I don't do is go bareback for intercourse or say I love you. I want my husband to have as much fun as possible so I don't begrudge him anything with our friends as long as it is safe. If you care to tell us more about your situation, we may be able to give more input.

The result of the changed rule will be difficult to assess. Only three couples showed up. Don't know what that was all about. I was determined, however, that this situation not spoil my fun. A new playmate (new to me and new to the lifestyle) whispered into my ear that she had just experienced her first orgasm in more than ten years from just vaginal sex. I took that as a compliment. I thought this was odd but also thought it would be better to not ask how this might have come about. Another good thing is that one of the guests revealed herself as a Swingersboard member (this guest not the ten-year-dry-spell person). I have now met a couple dozen members over a ten year period of time. How was your party?

Speaking solely from my point of view, what the lifestyle adds is that it's fun. If something is missing that something is the ability to magically duplicate myself and fuck my wife from both ends simultaneously. I'm pretty sure that doesn't represent a weakness in our relationship. Seriously, the lifestyle is a fun, shared experience. It is also a framework, for my wife and I, to acknowledge and explore the fact that we simply aren't monogamous. For us, sex is a fun physical activity which can be shared with other people. It doesn't mean we love each other any less or that we're looking for something we can't find in our marriage (except the aforementioned third).

We've played in separate rooms with a couple, and one night we tried sleeping with them. It was just kind of weird to wake up next to a different face. Not comfortable. We all agreed to not do it again. This was a long time ago, but can't imagine that this experience would change for us, and by extension, I doubt doing it on our own without our partner in the next room would improve it any.

We've never done it, and probably neither one of us would want to for various reasons (see snoring comment above ), but in the right situation with the right person, I guess I could see it being possible. It wouldn't be something we would be trying to initiate no matter what, but I'll stop short of saying 100% no and leave it at 99% no.

I agree with all of the advice dispensed here, and it made me think of how I would react as a single guy. We all say things that fall flat, the joke that doesn't go over, or don't express ourselves well online. But I think your "gut" is right. What does that have to do with anything, why should it stick out? He might not understand what the lifestyle is about, and only the "taboo" part of it turns him on. If you've decided not to play, I'd just politely say that you aren't sure things are going to work out. If he "gets" things, he'll realize you are not interested and no means no.

Excellent advise in here. We have dealt with this many many times. It's hard for the 2 of us to agree on a guy and sometimes there isn't even a reason other than we just didn't feel it with him. Making that decision is easy, letting a guy down that has his hopes up isn't so easy. We have used a lot of different lies to break off an uncomfortable situation but always lay the blame on us and flatter the hell out of him. We want him to leave with confidence rather than feeling rejected. If he feels ok about the break he is less likely to continue picking away at us and move on. Sometimes though if the guy just has no clue, he may get a different note. Like one of the last guys we met. We were in a bar for almost an hour and he never once looked at or acknowledged that my wife existed. I had a long conversation with him starting with "wtf dude?".

Everybody has already given you good advice. I just wanted to reiterate what a trap it is to get into the reasons for a "no thanks" decision. Rejection is never an easy thing, but it is a fact of life in this thing of ours- some people are just not your cup of tea, and you will not be some other people's cup of tea. Trying to give (or get) the reasons is never going to make the situation better, and as SW_PA_Couple said, it invites a pointless negotiation. Better to simply part amicably, with an honest but non-detailed statement that you believe you are not a good match. And for what it's worth, I agree that you should trust that crawly feeling at the back of your neck, within reason. If I had been in your situation, and had a reaction like you two did to the chat, the Mrs. I would have weighed it against the totality of the impression the person has left with us, keeping in mind the limited ability of a little bit written communication and a few photos to convey a full picture. But if both of us had that crawly feeling at the back of our necks, we might make the same decision as you. As fairly new people in the lifestyle, it seems only prudent to try to avoid what you feel could be a less-than-good experience. After all, we all want you two to have positive early experiences, like the lifestyle, and visit our cities someday!

Hi, Ebonylehigh. I think you and Mr. Ebonylehigh might want to consider looking at the upcoming cruise in a different light...instead of having the expectation of going in order to have sex with other people, just go and enjoy the time together. If you two meet up with a couple that is interested, then great! If not, then at least you two are able to have some couple time with each other. I don't know about you but we have kids so we try to enjoy the moments that we share when it's just Mr. Sun and I. However, I know that overall, you're still concerned about others not wanting to play with you two because of ethnicity. First of all, if they don't want to because of such a superficial reason, then it's better that they show that right off the bat so you can write them off. You wouldn't want to play with such people anyway. Second, yes it does happen unfortunately and I think it tends to sting more when you're new to swinging or have less swinging experiences. I know that's how it felt for us when we first started. The way we approach it is that we're a unit. If they reject one of us, they reject both. We're into this together and we come as a package. Tough nuts to anyone who doesn't want any of what we're offering. Please, just enjoy the time with each other and go with the flow. In the end, you both have each other and there are tons of people out there that wish they could have at least that.

Heck yeah!