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Thanks for the kind words CoupleInMD79. She always wants to look better. I know how desirable she is because guys are always looking her way and obviously thinking dirty thoughts lol! She looks like a young I dream of Jeannie. She's got ivory skin along with the long blonde hair that she puts up into a tight pony tail like a fountain. Combine that with her cat eyes that almost look Asian in appearance. Put her in some yoga pants and a tank-top and good god But sadly she doesn't realize how pretty she is. With time I think her sexual confidence will rise and I cross my fingers that her being self conscious will be a thing of the past. Naturally, she has full control of what she wants. And I want whatever she wants

I know this might not be what she wants to hear since she is reluctant about being the initiator (by the way, have you asked her why she doesn't?) but it is easier and less "creepy" if the women do the asking...and even less threatening if she asks the other female if they are interested. I remember when I first got that advice for myself, my heart sunk because I am really reserved and I don't really take rejection very well. I don't know how touchy-feely your wife is but it might help break the ice if she warmly rests her hand on either person's arm if she really likes something that they've said. There are women who appreciate having the male be the one to initiate but sometimes it can appear too aggressive to the other male so it's a balancing act...I'm hoping a male forum member can perhaps shed some light in that area. Angelkin once shared a great way to invite a couple without pressuring them by saying, "We're going over to one of the playrooms to play. We would love it if you two wanted to join us but no pressure."

What a crazy night, full of surprises and emotions. It was like riding a Rollercoaster, there were ups and downs throughout the night.

Hi, 3622maw. I have to respectfully disagree with you on these points: There are people who can watch their partner having sex with someone else and not feel jealous. The reason they can do that is because they feel secure in their relationship, unpossessive, and compersion (happiness that comes when one's lover is happy with one of their other lovers). The first time that I watched Mr. Sun have sex with another woman during our first swap, was I jealous? Yes, I'll admit to it. But on the 2nd experience, it was just a twinge. Then by our third, it wasn't there. Any time where I feel insecure about our relationship, my jealous tendencies tend to come out but that's because of a lack of feeling close to Mr. Sun and the feeling that I'm going to "lose him". But again, that also deals with the idea that I "own" him, which I don't. He is his own person who has his own separate desires. If it so happens that I no longer make him happy, if I truly loved him, wouldn't I want him to be happy, even if it wasn't with me? And for my own happiness, why would I want to continue to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me? Feeling jealousy is an inaccurate measure of how much one does or does not love another person. It only speaks about that person's insecurity in themselves or the relationship. The other point you made was: I strongly disagree with this. When we first explored swinging, I was mainly interested in MFM; however, I was very fortunate to find this website and I came to the conclusion that it would be a lot smarter and safer for us to begin our journey with a couple swap. Something for everyone. No single males/females with a complex to trying to "steal another person's partner". No chance of trying a MFM, then husband wanting a FMF but I would back out because I wasn't sure if I could handle it and then husband would become resentful. I wanted us to know right from the start if we could both handle seeing each other with someone else sexually. I also wanted more of a guarantee that no one would be interested in seducing one of us away because they themselves were married. I was interested in fairness and honesty. Considering your specific situation about how you may have encouraged her to seek out chatting with other males but she decided not to tell you about how she talked to him on the phone or Skyped with him, makes me very wary of your current situation. Am I glad you two met him together and have had experiences together? Yes. But the frequency of how often you two have met with him in such a short time worries me. Something tells me there is more than what meets the eye here. Could there be a growing emotional attachment between your wife and William? Highly probable. Is there a possibility that there might be some "sneaking around" between them? Since it occurred in the past, also possible. Is it possible that I'm a worry wart? Absolutely but I have had alarm bells going off from the time of your first postings. Please, please, please be careful. If you feel any hesitation or concern, please talk to your wife about it and I hope she listens and is willing to put a stop to what is going on so you two can work on the issue together. If she isn't...well, you need to ask why.

I know where you're coming from, BrewstersShade. One of the happy benefits of being in the lifestyle is that Mrs. CoupleInMD has been told many times, by many men (and not a few women!) just how spectacular she is! And it's not just words, either- she is being hungrily devoured by these men (and not a few women!!) as well. So I think she is finally believing what I've been telling her about how hot she is. It's been quite the (well-deserved) ego boost for her!

Kudos to your wife for wanting to be more fit and healthy! Now just in case there is any tiny bit of concern on her part about whether she is going to be seen as attractive, I want to reassure her that lots of people will find her smokin' hot! How can I be so sure of that, when I've never even seen a picture of her? Because the Mrs. and I have met a lot of people in this thing of ours, and I can assure you that all shapes, sizes, and ages are represented in the lifestyle. And there are plenty of people who find each of them very attractive! So if Mrs. BrewstersShade wants to head for the gym to feel better and get more fit, fantastic! But she should know that she will be seen as hot and desireable just as she is, as long as she is friendly and outgoing. Sexy is as sexy does!

I would agree with our limited experience that the woman initiating things is what works. My wife and I have certainly been interested but when I ask the other woman, the other man shut's it down, at least it's definitely happened at least once. I think it's trickier flirting, and chatting up another couple than actually playing in the rooms. That being said what we have had most success with in general is just talking to people and being friendly. That is gender neutral. We all know what we are here for. Often I am the one that initiates conversation, but I try and get some flirty feedback before, either a smile from her or a nod hello from him. If I get that I know somethings up and worth investigating. Another odd fail is him chatting up my wife, and then when the woman meets my wife, it's over. This has definitely happened more than once and without me being involved at all. I do know a couple where he does all the initiating and she bounces along behind them. She calls him her social butterfly and to be honest they are a really fun couple. We'll be chatting with her and then we'll see him waving in front of a room, and she'll be like 'gotta run to go play'. It's one of those things, I had to see it to believe.

I've thought about the size factor. Do you guys seek out a larger endowed man or is it a lottery? I have been thinking about whether I would have feelings of inadequacy compared to a larger male, but I dont think I would because I get off to the extreme at the thought of my wife receiving maximum pleasure. I guess I'm also fairly confident in how I use what I got. But I can see where watching another man ravaging your spouse, especially when he's well endowed, could cause some mixed emotions. I don't know, maybe it is my serious voyeur tendencies and confidence in my wifes true love for only me that keeps me from getting to anxious at the thought. But I guess I will find out soon enough

I think you hit the nail on the head Lionheart72. I think a lot of the increased sexual attraction has to do with sexual repression being erased. I told her I wanted her to open up fully to me and don't have any fear sharing what she thinks about and what she wants. And then she did open up and I about passed out from excitement! During our session she was talking so dirty and I found myself more vocal than I've been in years. While using her oral talents on me after our talk, she stopped for a second and asked if I would like for her to "look at me" while she orally pleasured another man. I pretty much lost it at that point and made love to her hotter than I can ever remember. I asked her to show me how she would pleasure the other man with her mouth and she then proceeded in absolutely blowing my mind with her mouth. When it was time for me to show her how much I love her, she was incredibly wet. Knowing how much she enjoys the thought of all this is just.. Awesome. And then after we were finished making love, we just continued to really enjoy each others company. Our energy has been stunning. I plan to have a nice bouquet of flowers for when she arrives home from work.

Thank you all for the excellent advice. I feel it will be an experience for us that will be well thought out. The euphoria from the initial conversation is still high and I feel I want to pamper my wife a little extra for how good she made me feel when we spoke about swinging. I made it clear that I wanted to see her pleased by another man. She said her only hang up with that is me not getting enough attention, which I then had to explain the beauty of her being pleased, pleases me. However, I am wanting her to control every aspect so she has nothing but fun. It's been so great today. There is something more sexual about her since our talk and I can't quite put my finger on it, but wow it's hot. It's like a sexual aura:drool: We are going to continue to keep the book open and fill in the blanks until we are secure with a first encounter. I know she has some things she wants to do first, like increase her gym routine and whatnot. I am going to have her read your guys' advice as it definitely helped me. We got a lot of homework to do!

We both equally love doing MFM’s! I really enjoy taking a pause in the middle of the action and watching my wife lost in the moment. A threesome if done properly- by both males working together to stimulate her-will really put her in over the edge. Of course-I love pausing and watching her enjoy herself-especially as we all reach the end and take turns. This allows her to focus on us individually (something she likes) and usually she is so lost enjoying each of us that pausing and watching is natural reaction at the time. I have really enjoyed seeing her lost in moment, free and really enjoying the experiencing. Her pleasure bring me pleasure-so there is no separation or "cuck" situation involved-after we are all focused on her and we both (the guys) got her to this point. Our friend would equally watch-he equally had NOT seen a woman this stimulated/hot so it was equally a goal for both men. If you find yourself in the moment...take the time to pause and enjoy the view.

Chocolate.

I agree. It's less of a power play if the woman initiates. Good approach by Angelkin!

I have a funny story about underwear and swinging, which is also why I mostly go commando now. We were playing with a couple at a club and after we were done our clothes were strewn everywhere. I accidentally picked up the wrong underwear and had them mostly on (about thigh high) before I realized that hey were not mine. It was at that moment that the guy realized I had his underwear, because he was doing the same thing with mine. We sheepishly traded and finished getting dressed. Commando is now the mostly the way to go for me...lol