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First of all, as I see that you are a new member, I will welcome you to this little on-line community called Swingersboard. I must disagree on the suggestion to go to SwingLifestyle to swap pictures or video. The SLS people often use a pejorative, pic collector. This is an undesirable title to earn. For video, you might want to try one of the web sites that encourages video exhibitionism-voyeur activity such as Adult Friend Finder. And I agree -- do not try this on Craig's List. It will only lead to a lot of frustration.

I am from Eastern Europe but have traveled the world and now settled in USA. Here I'll mention some experiences... France - Les Chandelles in Paris is my favorite place. France is swingers paradise I would say. About 300 clubs in Paris alone. Not to mention Cap d'Agde seaside resort town. Communication between couples is as easy as ordering coffee. Sometimes ordering coffee is even a more nightmare Spain - Ibiza the place to be. Malaga Costa del Sol, Valencia etc have lots and lots of swinging clubs. Couples are very friendly and speak many languages although you might meet someone you like which may not know english. Always good to have some information about the location you are visiting not to end up explaining you like someone and hearing "por favor" to no end... por favor Poland/Czech/Hungary - Half the world travels here for well basically hooking up and alcohol. Major problem is language. And couples are uptight. It all depends on who you know locally. If you know someone things get much easier as many couples would only communicate about swinging where they can trust the crowd. And they are specially shy for foreign visitors. Basically YMMV depends on your luck. Bisexuality is seen as a taboo and men are very dominating in the region. So very very few couples who actually are open about this. Italy - More touristy and less communication friendly. There are few clubs in Milan and Rome. But my luck has been terrible in this country. Germany - If you can cross the language barrier very swingers friendly. Kinkiest country in Europe. I have spent many months here with my boyfriend since it is a BDSM mecca. I have never had problem in this country and locals are very open and direct about this lifestyle.

For us, our LS adventure with other couples started in a club (this year!) and we were lucky enough to connect with a fun couple the very first time. The other couples we have played with were at a huge event (Naughty in N'Awlins) which, in some ways, is more like a club environment than the online one, i.e. lots of couples, all there for the same purpose, in a "crowd" environment. For us, that is easier - you can chat with a couple you see that looks good, and if it clicks it clicks, if not you can smile and say "Hey, we're gonna mingle, we'll catch up with you later" or some such. We're just starting the online thing, put our profile up a couple of months ago. The first step was finding the right board; one of the biggest, one that we got a free 3 month sub to Kasidie at NiN, but few connections and the ones we got were not "clicks" so we use that more to stay in touch with some other couples we met at NiN. When we found the "Right" boards for us/our area (SLS, and even better, Swingvillage.com) we got a lot of emails. What we have found is actually that we started out too "easy" - in other words, we'd get an email on the board from a couple that we could tell wasn't a fit for us for whatever reason. As in, obvious. We are very open, we can be in a vanilla bar and make friends with any kind of couple, any race, any income bracket, any looks, any age. So I think we kinda extended that to our online stuff. Maybe because we were afraid a couple like us - in our 50s, nice looking but not super hard bodies, etc. - would not be able to be picky. But we decided we have to be picky for all the obvious reasons. SOOO - to your questions! We have probably done more chatting and emailing than a lot of couples online before meeting up for drinks. I know a lot of online couples hate that, they want to jump right to face to face because you can't really tell until you actually meet, but our travels have required that (not in town) and that has resulted in become pretty good email friends with a fun looking couple, enough so to have dinner rather than drinks for the first meeting. (I.e. we aren't worried about having to have the time required with dinner with a couple we immediately know we don't click with.) So if they are the kind of couple who doesn't mind getting to know each other a bit online before meeting, that can help. Next - we always tell online couples that we don't play on first meeting - that it's a rule we have. If a couple balks at that, well, that tells us right there they aren't a fit for us. And it makes it easy if there isn't a "click" for either side - since you are just meeting to get to know each other, and there is no expectation of play that night, there is no "yes or no" requirement during that first date. It removes the pressure and both couples can communicate whether there is a desire to go to the next step after the date. Now, for us, we actually have an agreement between the Wifey and me that if it is an obvious "yes" for us and the other couple, one of those magic connections where both couples are smiling and laughing and the vibe is obvious to everyone, we will play that first night. But by setting the expectation of no play that first meeting, the pressure to say yes or no is greatly relieved, you just relax and enjoy having drinks and dinner with another LS couple, and our experience is that, even if we don't want to have sex with them, we enjoy chatting with most LS couples. Men's performance issues: yeah, even though I'm in my 50s, my biggest worry about LS play was the same one men have since their teens, I'm going to cum too fast! So it was a shock to me the first night, in a group room with the other couple, that I lasted so long, and not only that, at one point lost my erection. I mean, here I am in a room with people all around having sex, Live Porn all around me, and I'm in the middle of a porn movie playing with another couple, and I lose my erection? I got it back quickly, with the help of my wife's mouth, LOL, but it was the last thing I expected. And then, in New Orleans, we were in our room with two other couples, one of those OMG this doesn't happen in real life moments, and at the end of the play, and my wife had just gotten one guy off with a BJ and a hot European woman was going down on me and had just told me to cum in her mouth, and I found I was having a hard time cumming! No problem keeping the erection, but couldn't cum! I actually had to fantasize about something else to orgasm! Now it was only my second time to have sex with another couple (yeah, not the normal progression, meet another couple in a club first time, then a couple of weeks later sex with two other couples in New Orleans!) Oh, and the first time we played with another couple, in a club, my wife never did cum, as hot as it was. What we concluded was it was all so new to us that it was actually kind of distracting. So many other thoughts in our heads, "Wow, we're really doing this!" "Cool, there's no jealousy feelings" "I wonder what her hubby is thinking about seeing his wife go down on me?" and in the room with the sixsome, the issue was I knew the other guys had already orgasmed so everyone in the room was watching us, and I knew I they were waiting for me to cum. So - not unusual. And I've been told, it is actually easier after more experience. My wife had no problem cumming after that first night. And I DID cum while the European lady was giving me a BJ and it was pretty explosive. But beyond it's not unusual no "tricks" to help other than relax and accept what is actually happening is something you fantasize about! Oh, and ground rules, if it is a couple we met online, we exchange those in email. Kinda like, "Thanks for the comments, you guys look hot too! Yeah. we'd be interested in drinks to get to know each other and see if there's a "click." Just to make sure we're compatible in terms of play styles, we're same room only, and soft swap (which for us is everything except cross couple intercourse) to start, full swap later if it feels right. Also, we have a rule that we don't play on first meeting, we use that to just get to know each other with as relaxed a setting as possible. Does that work for you guys?" or something similar. Exchanging rules is expected so it should never be awkward, and any couple that doesn't want to talk about rules, well that's not a fit for us. FWIW from relative newbies.

How old is too old? Hmm. Toughy. Hmm. I think I'll go with 'dead'.

It works great for Mrs grayfox42104 and I and we have been married for over 45 years. She decided that she really preferred the one on one approach and that it was stressful to her to meet new people for sex a lot, so she now has a regular Friend with Benefits and I have a free hall pass to do as I please plus I get to join them in a 3-way quiet often. And, it seems that we have sex much more often. Life is good.

We are both on our 'second time around' after both having sexually unfulfilling and controlling marriages. We had been friends for many years and when we started dating we were committed to each and decided to make up for lost time by exploring the lifestyle. We were both just on the same wavelength having experienced the same sexual frustrations for so many years. It just felt natural for us and we enjoy such an easy relationship with no hang-ups, drama or limitations. Being in the lifestyle doesn't rule our lives or define us as people, it's a leisure activity for us. Like people enjoy playing golf, we enjoy having fun times with special friends. What I really love about the lifestyle is that there is room for everyone. Whatever your preference, comfort level or kink is, everyone is welcome and accepted. I have never met more real people than I have in the Lifestyle.

Mrs. Cancuple and I were together for almost 20 years before our journey into the LS started. It was a gradual thing... It started one day when she mused allowed, what the big deal was with a strip joint. So we went to one. She seemed to really enjoy it! Especially all the attention she got from the dancers as well as the other guys! LoL She then expressed interest in watching the occasional porn movie together, and she was intrigued by the girl on girl scenes, so I started joking around that she was free to have an affair, as long as her partner was a woman. It progressed from there... we found ourselves collecting DVD's and visiting our favourite strip club in Niagara Falls, Ontario, and she even convinced me to take her to a male strip joint as well. Then one day, she was helping a GF pack for an upcoming move, and they each had a glass of wine, and they started messing around a bit. They both started texting me, and sending me pics, and of course I encouraged it willingly! Shortly thereafter I took her to a strip joint and got her some lap dances. She was genuinely intrigued, so we had to take it to the next level... We joined a swinger forum, and found a couple to play with, but they weren't right. They were very nice people, but were more into the full swap, and we weren't ready for that yet. So we coasted for awhile. The real break through came when we went to Temptations in Fall 2010.