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And this is why I have loved the forum boards so far. You guys are so polite and understanding of newbie questions that you have probably heard of a thousand times before. This made me giggle because it described what I was trying to say the other night to the husband. I like this idea of freedom. Thanks everyone for all your great comments. This helps me understand that the rules can and will probably change as we actually adventure into it but this calms some things down in my brain. As for our boundaries so far we came up with: 1. No means no 2. same room for now 3. safe sex required for vaginal intercourse 4. For him no bi activity since he is super straight. All the comments made me realize we are pretty much in tune of what would work for us so far so that is a good thing! Thanks again for all the helpful comments. It gets a tad overwhelming reading all the past posts on the board so I figured I would throw my thoughts out there because sometimes it just helps to express it.

Another thing to keep in mind when you talk about rules is half the fun of any rule is the opportunity to break it. One of the enticements in this lifestyle is the fact you get to break the social rules against it. Also, remember that the biggest fights in relationships are over minor little things, or misunderstandings. If you guys would like to see what I’m talking about just smile at your wife and tell her she sure has a “phat ass” (defined in the urban dictionary as, pretty hot and tempting) she will think you said she has a “fat ass” and it won’t be long at all until she has a piece of your ass. If you set a rule against an activity because of your preference about something that your mate enjoys, they go along with it for you, and one night in the heat of passion, you break that rule, you are going to hear about it guarantied.

No study of which I know. But I did see on a serious TV science program that a male mammal's scrotum shrinks and relaxes in response to temperature. This is an evolutionary adaptation that maximizes production of spermatozoa. I know a couple of women who like to play, squeeze and tease until they get a reaction from me. Does nothing for me but seems to entertain them so I go along with the game. None of them have taken it too far (yet). Don't know what it might imply, but I wear briefs. Exception: for a party. Not that I want or need anything to 'hang'. Just want one fewer article of clothing needing removal when it's time for action.

Well... I honestly don't know whether to be worried or encouraged by these new revelations from Lora, because I'm not there in the thick of it. It sounds like it's good that you talked to her. It also sounds like there is a lot more talking to be done. The only way this can end well is if everyone is open and honest with each other, and it sounds like you're finally off to a solid start on that with Lora. Good work.

My late wife and I had only one rule, that we wouldn't try to "make love" with anybody else. You just reminded me of something... When me and Mr G 'make love' we always say to each other afterwards 'we can't share this with other people, this is ours!'. Each couple have their own 'thing' when they are alone together assuming that they are in love... We have a sadomasochistic side in our love making, Fisting (vaginal and anal), toys and humiliation mainly which we love together but it's something that we don't take into the scene with us. I don't know as it's a rule but just something we keep for ourselves and don't share with people we play with. It doesn't feel like a rule and like something we have to be conscious of, it just feels right and obvious to both of us. BDSM, D/s couples contact us and say that they're looking for x,y,z but we always say 'No thanks, we're not looking for that'.

When we started, we had a book of rules. As we progressed, most of these rules dropped by the wayside, but still they were important when we started. Mostly, they were 'comfort levels' for the other person until they found out that that they were comfortable with the situation. They helped establish boundaries and trust between the two of us. Now we only have a few rules left with the most important one being: We move at the pace of the slowest person. If someone says no then it means no for everyone involved (with no repercussions or explanations necessary). If the two of you are good with very few rules, then go for it (as long as you are SURE that the other person isn't holding out or just keeping quiet). Good luck and have fun!