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I'm not going to attempt to answer your question. I do know, however, something about swingers' clubs. Even people who have an intention of finding casual sex at a club fail more than half of the time. So give that no thought. But you will be well positioned to talk to people, especially when they come to the realization that you are not just there to try to jump their bones. People having experience enjoy being helpful to those who are just starting. If a couple greet you with a friendly smile, just start a conversation with some bright greeting like, "I really like your dress" or "you two look like a happy couple." Once the conversation starts, you will be on your way to learning something good.

This reminds me of a couple that we had met. Things went very well at that first meeting and we planned a second 'date'. They were both attractive, we talked and enjoyed their company, and we all seemed to hit it off great...and months went by without us getting together. Then, we ran across them and set up another dinner (only) date to reconnect and see why none of us set up that second date. Once again, things went great. Wonderful conversation, mutual attraction, and we ended up planning on getting back together again 'real soon'...and it didn't happen. Something wasn't quite right and we weren't sure what it was. We WANTED it to be okay but in the end while we couldn't place our finger on what wasn't right, we knew that something wasn't clicking. It's too bad, we REALLY liked and enjoyed the time we spent with them, but that little voice said 'don't do it'. Sometimes you just have to listen to that little voice (they must have heard it too since they didn't make an effort as well). There are always more couples, just keep looking. When it isn't right, it really isn't right but we also have learned that when it is right, it REALLY is right. It's a learning experience, don't take it personally.

911junkies, I'm sorry about your bad experience but everyone goes through bad experiences while swinging...unfortunately, you just happened to have yours early on. It's just a matter of using it as a learning experience--maybe in this case, learning to trust your inner voice--and going back out there. I think the best thing to focus on right now is that it doesn't matter if you are someone else's cup of tea or not...you are your husband's cup of tea with some scones and cookies...and that's what's most important. You get to go home with a person who knows all the good and not-so-good parts of you and still loves and desires you.

I remember going to a club in Toronto once and met this woman in the ladies room. She was rather plain, and stood a good 6 feet tall. She was what you might call big-boned. Amazonian stature. The polar opposite of petite, cute or delicate. But she was wearing this GORGEOUS gold lace gown and heels and she exuded a powerful, confident femininity that oozed sexiness. She had presence. She glowed. Her size was just a number, and it didn't matter. What impressed me about her was this shining happiness and confidence that said, "What man wouldn't be drawn to me??" It was magnetic. And anyone who was blind enough to not see it wasn't worth her time. Be that woman. Find that goddess in yourself and let it out for others to see. When you are your genuine self this way, it gives others permission to do the same. It draws people to you. UPDATE: Okay just read the last post. I'm so sorry to hear that, 911Junkies! One of the things about the LS is that it's harsh that way. Don't take it personally. Other people are imperfect, they have their insecurities and weird preferences. And sometimes there's just no chemistry. I mean, we have to do what we can with what we've got, but no one is everyone's type. Chalk it up to experience and try again, seriously. Dust yourself off, lick your wounds a little if you like (because it sucks to be rejected), but get back in the saddle. If for nothing else, to say you did it. Get dolled up and go to a club and shake what your momma gave ya. Everyone is someone's type, you just didn't find it this time.

Don't over think it. There are probably a million different possible reasons for his change in texting and attitude. It could be as simple as his wife saying "Honey, chill out a bit, you're going to scare them off", to his own realization that you are new and may need to be reassured that you can take your time, to he's been busy the last few days. Go with the attitude that you're going to enjoy the evening, and whatever happens is cool, and at the end of the night, you'll be going home with your awesome husband.