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Welcome to the board!! I am also introverted (I think you will actually be surprised at the number of introverted swingers), but I have my husband to help out with that (there isn't a shy bone in his body... no pun). I find the best way to deal is practice. Talk to strangers until you just want to run home and hide lol. Say hello to everyone!! Come up with a list of generic questions (what's your profession? Are you married? Do you have a family? How are you enjoying the beautiful weather?) And ask them to everyone. Again, it takes practice, at least for me. I know that sometimes I clam up when people talk to me and I just can't think anything to say. So thinking about what you would say in different situations before they happen helps.

Colin O'Donoghue is at the top of my list right now. The lines they give him on OUAT and the way he delivers them are enough charm the pants off of this lady. And did I mention the accent?

One aspect of sex, group or just a couple, is the ability to quickly move from position to position. Even in a quickie, J and I will cover several different positions. Add anal, and you instal a stop sign. My rule is once there, there till the end. In an MFM situation, if DVP is possible, it's a good way to give her an experience she will not soon forget, and the ability to move to another position. If the guys are having trouble holding back, then ending in a DP is a very intense experience for all involved. The problem we always have is staying in long enough to come. When being doubled, J comes so hard it's really difficult to hang on and keep going. Our DP preference is having the guest on the bottom, J on him, me coming in from behind. This works for us since most of the guys we see have larger dicks and have an easier time staying in than if I'm on the bottom.

Totally agree with you!

My wife likes double vaginal or one in each but NEVER double anal. It doesn't matter which hole I get honestly although she prefers me in her ass more often than not as she knows I like to eat the other guys cum out of her.

I don't know if this will help but here is my two cents worth. Everyone is human, everyone will get jealous at one thing or another. I don't care if they say they don't, if they mean it then they don't care about that person. Well with that said, I think it is more important HOW you handle this jealousy that keeps you and your wife playing. My wife and I recently got together with a BBC. It was awsume, it was great. He ate her out and made her cum/squirt several times ( I have never been able to make her squirt). She rode him like crazy, she took turns giving us both great BJs. She never sexually left me out. Ok now for the bad part (at least on me). After things began to come down, I decided I wanted to spoon with her and fuck her from behind. Which in turn made her lay her head on his chest, and he held on to her, they ended up kissing, caressing, her jerking & sucking him off. But it all seem so ..... Lovingly, not sexual. The jealously began to hit. I just kept on playing. We finished after a few more hours of play and went home. When me and her play at home by our selves and finish I have always tried to get her to lay on my chest (not sexual) because I've always felt this is nice, me holding her. She usually does not want to and I have given up asking. Well when we got home that nite, I told her how I felt. After some great sex and being worn out I rolled on my back closed my eyes ready to pass out, with out any prompting. She put her head on my chest and we both fell asleep. I have not felt jealous about that again.

Ok.. I have had to deal with this as well.. I will say from the beginning that the tantric classes my wife and I took over fifteen years ago really helped. It helped me see the beauty in my wife and released my need to be everything for he.. That being said. I am a person and like you feelings run through me. Sometimes watching my wife being seduced by another man rises feelings in inadequacy and self doubt. Hell I am the man and I should be enough for her.. all that she should ever think about.. and doesn't she see me sitting over here not having fun.. That is a example of some of the thoughts that I can have while my wife swings.. and afterwards. At those points I am afraid that I am not going to get what I want. My security and self esteem have been threatened. This is where my jealousy raises its head. The sore of jealousy in my head is a injury of the past resurfacing and I get to re experience it.. That is a resentment. A resent moment from the past I am experiencing again. I can remember a old injury or something and bring that into the moment of when I am swinging like a time that you described above.. What the hell has something that happened in the past messing up me today. That is a question you could ask yourself. It sounds like it is not serving with you any more.. So what to do.. I am not sure all I know is what worked for me.. I made a list of fears that I had around swinging.. I asked myself why I had the fear? Is the way I am managing the fear working? Last was how do I want to be? Answer the last question and do it. After I do that I I move into the solution and do not think of the other problem.. It takes a while for this to take hold for me.. but it works. If the feelings come back.. Instead of sitting on the couch strewing. I get up and make myself of service to others at the party. I get up and go talk to people. I just say hi and take a interest in them. There is more that goes with this and I could write a book on this... but that is it in a nutshell.

This is exactly what I was thinking about this morning, almost word for word. It does become routine for us, even more so when you participate on this board, because we talk without sensationalizing it. So, what isn't a big deal to us remains a very, very big deal to most.

As time progresses, experiences pile up, being a swinger becomes less of an issue for the swinger. That feeling may cause one to feel like it's not a big deal to divulge this to friends that ask. The difference between coming out. as say...A NASCAR fan and a swinger is how it affects the relationship from that point. This is sex, this is taboo, sexual hangups are the American way. As a sexually open man, I live a VERY straight life. Coming out to anyone, even if they were to ask is out of the question. It works. I have been described as 'the straightest man I know', more than once. I like it that way. Friendship is very conditional. Friendships are built on what one knows about the other. That can flip like a light switch. Seen it all too many times. Sometimes the skeletons are just fine where they are.

Welcome to the forum, YoungGeeks! So you two are thinking about having an open marriage but also engaging in MFF threesomes? Is there a reason why you two have decided on an open marriage instead of starting out with couple swapping? As for advice on how to overcome being introverts, SwingSetWife has given you great suggestions. And I do want to point out that sometimes this is easier to tackle with your spouse than without because then you two can support each other and if one of you can't think of something to talk about then maybe the other one can. Once you two do go out separately and engage in playing separately in an open marriage, then you both will have to develop conversation skills to maintain interest from potential play partners. It all boils down to going out there, forcing yourself to put yourself out and introduce yourself and striking up conversation. For some, it comes naturally and for others, it's a struggle and it has to be an artful skill that has to be learned.

Charlie Hunnam for sure!

Most of the bi men I know in swinging are out there as straight. Why? Because it makes life a hell of a lot easier for them in terms of finding playmates. Way too many ignorant guys I know seem to think that if a guy is bi or bicurious that it means he wont be able to keep his hands off of another guy and therefore wont play with the guy. This is bs. Sadly, swinging is not any more open minded as a whole then society in general is. Yes, we think having sex with other peoples spouses is ok, but outside of that, most swingers have the same issues as everyone else. They are open minded about their "kink" but not really all that open minded about others. Obviously this is a generalization and I know there are exceptions to it. What is amusing is I see the reverse with women. Lots of straight women putting themselves out there as bi simply to make their other half happy. God that is annoying (speaking as a genuinely bi woman who gets frustrated when I find out that the chick is just halfheartedly touching me because her husband thinks its hot). Glad you feel comfortable being out there as bi. Most men in swinging don't. I don't judge them for that, I just feel sad that that needs to be the case.

Once again there is dissatisfaction with the use of labels. Bi is just a label, and means different things to virtually everyone. To you it means being able to have a romantic relationship with both sexes. That is not the most common meaning. To some if you've ever even considered sucking a cock you better label yourself bi. Your use of "rectal ranger" in regards to bi suggests you think bi means anal sex with men. Again that is your interpretation of the label bi. Many, if not most, men who consider themselves bi have not included anal in their male sex. There are gays who also do not include anal sex. There is a sense for some that even oral sex with male does not neccessarily mean you are bi. For them the whole labeling of person because of the sex you and your wife enjoy is silly. Threesomes are hot, and if your wife enjoys having you sucking cock with her, suddenly that puts you in a whole new category of person? You're enjoying sex with your wife, she enjoys sucking cock, so why shouldn't you join her in that enjoyment? Doesn't change the person you are, it merely expands the sex you enjoy with her. For many swingers it is important to know whether a guy has ever sucked a cock or enjoyed any form of sex with a man. This is lumped under the bi label and is considered very important information, and dishonest if that information is not dished out to the general swinging public. Many married "bi" males feel that is private information only relevant to those with whom there is a real potential of sexual congress and not to the general swinging public.

I'm reading "Happy Swinging" by Sue Gould and so far this is a really great book and it has one of the best bits on male homosexuality that I have seen. I could be mistaken but I get the feeling that much of this book was taken from editorials that she wrote for various swinger magazines. In this particular case, not only did she include her thoughts on male bisexuality but also several letters in reply to her editorial on the subject. There were a few things that struck me, things I hadn't really considered before so I thought I would bring them up here: 1. Males avoid homosexuality out of competitiveness "Alpha Male theory". Basically, they are all fighting for the women and to be the dominant man... but if two guys hook up one of them has to give up dominance. Since women are not as competitive it is ok for them to have sex together. I don't know about you, but from what I've seen women are just as competitive as men... so I'm not sure how much I can agree with that theory. 2. Machismo- the pressure to not be feminine - Since no one wants to feel insecure and femininity in males is typically looked down upon, males shun the idea of bisexuality (or keep it hidden in the closet) because they don't want to be looked down upon by others. I can buy this latter idea much better. It seems that it is becoming more and more common to see men who will admit to being bisexual in the right situation or to certain people, but aren't likely to do so publicly.... could it be that they simply fear the rejection of others if they do so? We say that clubs do not allow male bisexuality because that is what the majority of their patrons want, but is that really true? Or is it for the same reason, is it that they fear what people will think if they allow it? Will they suddenly start to draw too much of the gay crowd that perhaps is looking for a place to play as well? If that happens, you can only imagine that the bulk of their swinger crowd (straight and bi) may disappear for suddenly feeling like they don't quite fit in anymore. Another thing that I found most interesting (and it may have been by her choice of what to include) but all of the letters she included in reply to her editorial were from men who admitted to being bi to some degree or another, most would be what we have recently "labeled" here as "situationally bi"... go figure. Could it be that the answer to the shunning of male bisexuality is that the bisexual males just need to come out of the closet and stop worrying about what others think?