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Think about it, why is that? You love your husband, so it wouldn't be bad for another woman to dote on him as well. And if you have feelings for her, the same would apply vice versa. Your husband's love for you wouldn't be less, it would be more, just like with the sexual sharing. This is where I would disagree the most. What could be better for your children than having another woman loving them and taking care of them? What if she does such a great job that your children say they love her? Our two children (with me/hubby and Clair/hubby; Red gets his with me next time) are loved by all four of us adults as parents and are loved in return the same way. Nothing makes me feel more secure in this uncertain world than if something were to happen to me, that my children (I consider Clair/hubby's son as much mine as the daughter I bore) have three other parents to look after them, including a woman. You do what feels right. For instance, hubby, Clair and I share a house; Red lives at this own place very close by. Red visits the house often, sometimes stays the night; I will go and sometimes stay with Red. Why two houses? Because of Red's disposition, career, and junk - he needs his own space to work, and he follows an irregular schedule. We have talk about moving into one place, but it would need to fit three people with ordinary careers and one that's a bit different. At our house, we have two "adult" bedrooms, one with a king bed and one with a double bed. Sometimes the three of us sleep together in the king bed, other times it can be any two in the king and one in the double. Finances? We basically have an "our" account we put money into to fund the household and the rest stays with the individual. The same thing two people do, talk about it. Our poly group had the advantages of all starting out at pretty much the same place in life and had the same goals. We knew we all wanted children, so that worked. The timing? Clair got accidentally pregnant with hubby, so I advanced my timeline, went off contraceptives, and did pot luck with both my guys. I got pregnant within four months of Clair. We know we each want at least one more child, after that it's talk time. This is the only stupid question . The guys! Of course!

Hi, I noticed a request for an update. Well, in a practical sense things haven't move forward but in a shared understanding sense they have. The body image issue still exists but it was overtaken by an overall question on whether this lifestyle was a good idea for us. We realised that we were moving at different paces. We were both quite excited by the prospects of it all but when push came to shove we were kind of on the fence. This was compounded by other events like work getting really busy and the other couple we were chatting with temporarily moving away. All that sounds quite negative but it isn't really. We decided to focus more on our own relationship first and remain open to it progressing from there. We have yet to explore more together and through that I believe we can also address our fears such as body image. We've obtained all the brilliant communication that came with sharing our wildest fantasies. Than in itself is an amazing addition to our relationship. I also think that its more than possible that we could progress to sharing ourselves with others but I don't crave it as I did. If it happens it will be because it all clicks into place. If I had to bet I would say its likely to happen because we both feel its something we would like to try but not just yet. Incidentally we have started socialising with the other couple before who are more or less at the same stage as us. So who knows. I guess we are playing with our fantasies with the knowledge that more awaits if we think its right. All up a much healthier approach for us I think.

According to Webster (true story ) "gang bang" [noun] copulation by several persons in succession with the same passive partner. And "several" is [adj] more than two but not very many. Who knew Webster could be kinky

I'm extremely interested in a poly relationship. After 17 years of marriage (now divorced) I think it's unrealistic that just one person could meet all my needs and/or wants. I had this conversation with a recent "man-panion" who is a swinger that has never been married. He didn't really understand poly until I used a very simplistic example. He has high blood pressure so is unable to enjoy hot tubs. I love hot tubs. So I told him that if he and I were in a relationship then I would want another partner that could enjoy the hot tub with me. It seems like a silly example but he got it. Years ago I worked for a woman that had a husband and a boyfriend, they had all been together since college. She went on tropical, scuba-diving vacations with the boyfriend and Nordic vacations with her husband. She spent a week at a time on each coast, boyfriend on the west, husband on the east so she always had companionship. Even at the time I thought it was fantastic, even though I was married. Of course, I'm single, without any romantic relationship so I understand that this could change with the right partner. But I can see myself (and others have actually agreed) in a poly relationship with a man (well, at least one) and a woman.

A recent post made me wonder... ...if you are a male, do you enjoy having some kind of anal stimulation? Maybe just during oral/manual sex? Do you like being on the receiving end of rimming? And what is it about being stimulated down there that you enjoy? Please don't be shy! I think a lot of men might be put at ease to hear that other men find this same thing arousing.

"In succession" doesn't do it for me. My preference for a gangbang is multiple men pleasing me and being pleased all at once...not that many men in succession isn't a gangbang, just that my ideal situation is too. After all, I have two hands and a mouth and quite enjoy multitasking and the challenge of multiple men. In my limited experience, four men was a gangbang...but I think three men and one woman would qualify I have also enjoyed three men and two women with me as the sole focus. LUCKY ME!!

I think poly is awesome. Not that those pursuing (or falling into) it need my endorsement or blessing. Just like swingers often enter swinging because they have a sexual itch that they just cannot scratch with one partner, I believe there are many folks who have emotional needs that need multiple people to fulfil. More power too them, and I'm happy that poly is achieving an elevated level of exposure in the media so that those who would fit it as a lifestyle know it's an option. Personally I don't envision this as something Ms A and I will likely ever end up doing. Never say never, but our lives seem pretty much packed as it is. Kidder Kaper (the ex host of the ex podcast Sex is Fun - and perpetrator of an amazing bygone flameout attempt at joining the board) coined the term kreplit to mean a unit of emotional energy and/or time needed for maintaining relationships. I just don't envision having the 'kreplits' to sustain another relationship in addition to the one I share with Ms A, my kids, and the few close friends I manage to stay in touch with. Of course I speak from a position of complete ignorance, and maybe it all just happens naturally and seamlessly, and the energy required to keep everyone on the same page magically appears (along with the time required for this avowed introvert to recharge). But for me, I doubt it. Bully for you if it does. Doubt it is for me(us). D

I don't think gangbangs inherently mean strangers. I think gangbangs could involve strangers but they could also involve men that the woman/couple already knows and trust. As for a time limit, it just depends on the woman. If she wants it to go for 12 hours, she can plan it that way with breaks here and there for food, rest, and bathroom. If she wants it for only 2 hours, then that could also be a gangbang. As for the number of men, I think it's probably a gangbang once there's more than 2 men (because 2 men and 1 woman is a threesome MFM). Obviously, there can be more than that in a gangbang. As for the number of women at a gangbang, this part I can't say for certain. I know that at some gangbangs, there is only one woman but at others, there can be "fluffers" (other women) who help to keep those men aroused who are on the sidelines waiting to partake in the woman who is the star of the show.

I was in this very situation for the last 16 months. I met my "man-panion" on SLS so we both had LS experience before we met (25 years for him, 3 for me). We set up a couples profile on SLS and were completely upfront about our relationship. He was in the state for work and would eventually leave for his next job, so a true "coupledom" was not in the cards. We ended up becoming best friends and most couples we played with said they would never know we weren't a long-time married couple. There was no jealousy, I met some of his other partners and he mine. In fact, he gave me my best MFM experience with a playmate of mine that actually brought me to tears! I think I would be more concerned with her lack of experience than whether you were a "true couple" or not. I think the inexperience would lead to more drama. My "man-panion" and I always considered ourselves 2 singles but we really enjoyed playing together. He would solicit single men for my pleasure and I would do the same for him with single women. Some couples rejected us because we weren't a couple and that's fine. There are a million reasons people get rejected so what's one more. Unfortunately, he has moved on to his next job, but we will still be best friends. Hopefully we'll get the chance to play as a couple again, but we'll still be singles. The other morale of this story is that all single guys are not schmucks! Now is your chance to show the world that this is true. It's not a cross to bear!

I admit that I know very little about the dynamics of a poly relationship, but I can tell you what we have discussed and my current thoughts on it. When we started talking about getting back into swinging last year, SSH was really concerned about whether or not I would fall for someone. I get very emotionally attached to people. And in the past, I have associated sex with emotions. I find I don't do this with swinging, but I know that the possibility is always there. I have tried to assure SSH that I will always put our relationship first and not do anything to jeopardize it. If I felt myself getting emotionally attached to someone, I would tell him, and we would just have to distance ourselves from the situation. With that being said, I do find the topic extremely interesting and would like to learn more about it. I have never believed in the idea that people had to love only one person at a time. I have thought often about what things would be like if we brought someone else into the mix. Ideally, (at least as I have imagined it) it would be with another woman. Why? Because I like women. I like g/g play, but I also love so many other things about women. Just simply being affectionate with another woman and having a closeness beyond friendship is appealing to me. Besides, I have a man and really don't see any reason why I should or would want to put up with another one . But I don't ever see a poly relationship working out for us (never say never right?). I am perfectly willing (and like it!) to share my husband with other women sexually. But I don't think I could stand to have another woman tell him she loves him or vice versa. And even worse, I don't think I could stand for my kids to tell another woman they love her. I honestly feel like it would break my heart and the jealousy would drive me crazy. Furthermore, I just don't know how other things work out in poly relationships. Do you keep lives separate or is it a complete blending of lives? For example, SSH and I know that we are not going to have any more kids. But what would we do if we feel in love with a woman that wanted kids? Would we live separate or together? Would we combine finances? Who would clean the toilets? I'm assuming you would handle everything like you would entering into any relationship, but I see SSh and myself sticking together on the issues that we have figured out for our own lives together and I'm not sure how much wiggle room there would be there. Too many things to consider. Thanks for listening while I thought out loud

Playing the devils advocate here...only committed couples have equal relationship risks inherent with swinging. Technically you are both single...and the emotional risk of falling for a play partner are higher. This view is shared by a lot of couples I know.

I can't see either of us in a poly situation, but I am intrigued by those that are in successful poly relationships, and believe that if it works for you, then go for it. Truth is, I'm too damn lazy to emotionally invest in an additional person/persons.

I read the newer posts and reread my original reply and thought that there were a few great and wild places to share. Another great place is in our own back yard. We have a very large fenced yard. We also have a private, fenced in area just outside our bedroom door. With the exception of helicopters and people standing on their roof next door, its private! And let me tell you, the feeling of the sun on parts that otherwise would not get it, is something else. Another place is near a creek at a nudist resort we frequent. It is in the high desert of Southern California. During the warmer months, it is very peaceful, beautiful and it is so erotic to see wifey's head bobbing up and down in this setting.