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The criticism actually didnt bother me all that much. The funny thing is my girlfriend who is five years older than me told me that nobody she has ever been with knows what she likes like I do. So I asked why were you moaning like that when the other dude was giving you oral? Her reply, because I was playing with her breasts. But I hadnt thought about it like that. I honestly believed that like the last poster she would not want me anymore after the other dude and all this and more went through my mind. But she told me that she feels terrible about how she acted and doesnt want me to think she wants some one else, but it was the excitement of something different that got to her. And she only enjoyed it when all four of us were interacting and I concentrated on her just as much as the other girl. I think I see a fmf threesome somewhere down the road lol. I want to thank all for the advice and will post again when we have our next experience.

I think MJD hit on something really big there... I'd be a lot more threatened if I felt like the other guy was getting something that I wasn't getting, even moreso if I felt it was being kept from me. It wouldn't matter so much what The Thing was. What would matter is how it made me feel. Speaking in generalities, if I am feeling any lacking in the connection to my partner and then I see something that seems symbolic of that connection with another guy, I'd become jealous. So it seems that the cure for the situation isn't so much a modification of a single behavior, as some soul searching about what exactly is being threatened and how that can be reassured in a healthy way.